₦airaland Forum

BREAKING NEWS... President of Ghana is DEAD!!! He just died a couple of minutes ago...

psoto: IK!!!!!!!!!!

yes Honeeey!!! Darlin u called me?

we shal b talkin about our ex bf/ex gf bac in skool. Bac in skool i alwyz start out wit girls on a platonic level, due to my gentle appearance (which is quite deceptiv) i easily break dwn dia defenses wen i invite any to my lodge. Dias 1 chidinma i invitd for weekend, b4 i knew it ds girl moved her tins into my room nd startd actin like my wife, evn startd talkin of marriage, IMAGINE!!! i had 2 systematically kick her out. Anoda girl by name chiamaka, dis 1 is d clingy type. Evry minute she go dey call jus 2 mek sure i no dey wit woman and if i no pick her cal na wahala or if she cals nd i dnt answer her baby she go conclude say i dey wit anoda girl. I later met ds girl ufok, frm calabar, chai ds girl sabi "f" die, she sweet no b small bt i latr kickd her out nd brot in 1 mammy water frm Rivers state by name gboru, dis girl fyn no b smal, na only she i do skin 2 skin wit cos i saw her Hiv status bt as we all graduated we parted ways.

Psoto i c u... How far naa? U no go work? U blackberri girl. Lol. Wher our third sister cum dey naa? Psoto u don condemn me, my broda banttie and brezzie abi? Wetin u no knw be say queensmith mite end up becumin QueenIK, QUEENBANTTIE OR QUEENBREEZIE! She requested for Alomo Bitters? Na na i know say she be correct soji babe. @Queensmith oya show ursef now now, tel us more of ursef, wher u reside, state of origin, skool attended, course of study and d place u'd luv to serve Sharp sharp no waste my time o cos i need more clarification on the meaning of "Regbe regbe place"

Goodmornin the beautiful ppl of batch c. I hope y'all slept fine. Let us pray!!! "Almighty nd most evalastin father we thank u for today, thank u for makin us c d lite of today, its nt because of our reigteousness bt because of ur grace. Forgiv us of our sins and cleans us frm al unreigteousness, lead us in our goin out nd comin in so at d end of d day we shal all com bac nd giv u glory 4 in jesus name we pray, AMEN!!!"

London my foot!!! Abegi. Mek nobody form for us like say our perfume dey smell comfo comfo. Which 1 be regbe regbe place abeg?#LAUGHINGBOKOHARAM# Queensmith ur highly welcum 2 our happi house but u wil serve in yobe( regbe regbe place) so dat u ll enter d next B.A flight bac 2 london or sakwoto whereva...

I see sexyify wearin "Polo by Ralph Lauren" i hav dat T shirt too! CONFIRM DESIGNERS... lol (ur head don dey swell abi?) idi ok shaa... Happi pple in the house my time states tick tick says d clock. Today hz bn a good day but i guarantee u, tommorow wil b beta day. Good9t banttie, Godschild, psoto, breezie, sexyify, horbasco, sbabaj, fem and all. KACHIFO!!!

Wonderful people of the batch c republic i hail una. I got somany fb requests, i c fem, i c banttie, i c Godschild, i c psoto and odas nd i got to knw who they r and i accepted all bt apologies, i dnt knw d ibo guy by name "Nebo" pz identify. Banttie i luv ur rep on "girls and drinks" bac in skool dem dey call me "too much money" i no dull mysef wit jew men. The day i wrote my last final year paper, me and men brew beer and red wine mor dan 25k untop my head and no kind babe wey i no nyash for skool. Lol. certificate no mean anytn 2 me cos i fit use am go toilet. i wonder wat d world'd be like without babes and shack... Thank God u faced it squarely

psoto: Jesus!!! I'll pretend I didn't see anything.

psoto, MEANING? Banttie i c u, jus gimme a min. Network s kinda hazy.

[quote author=Gods-child]@IK121...guy abeg shey na you dey with oyinbo woman?[/quote]Guy u don c me finish. Lol. Na my sugar mummy wen i bin dey Australia. I don "F" her tire now am unto the next 1. Lol

psoto: IK, na ur profile picture I D̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥γ̲̣̣̥ see so U can like girls. Kai!!!

psoto i c u, u make sense, i knw say u go sweet. Lol. I luv d lush green enviroment u r, na so my skool dey...

Godschild, fem, cy, abasuffi, brezzi, psoto, sexify, banttie, sbabaj, dele, horbasco and odas. Y'all shud send me a fb request. Search me on fb. Ike oleb, i'll be xpectin ur friendshp request. Tnx y'all...

Back in skool how many of u collected "APRIKO MONEY" from ur parents/guardians back in skool? . For instance, if text book is N7k, u tell ur parents its N20k?

Good people in the house hw hz ur day been so far? Am jus remniscing my dayz bac in skool and i feel so nostalgic. I no dey get money as i dey get am b4 wen i dey skool o!. I think we should talk about our days in skool, what kinda bigboys/girls we were bac in skool, lecturers wey show us pepper, our flexin and confra(if any). My dayz in Absu wz rlly fun, i waste my papa money no be small. Lol, i flex die, tru out my 4yrz in d uni i stayd in d bigboys lodge wher d pay N120k p/a, chicks flock around me alot cos am 2 generous and u wan knw how i passed all my courses? I'll b bac...

I DREAD NORTH DIE....lol.
I think we should devote today in talking about places we'd love to serve and the possibility of succeeding like psoto once suggested. much pple r not in the house at the moment but i beliv they will join sharp sharp wen they c d discussion.
like y'all know, i be confirm owerri guy and i graduated frm the prestegeous Absu 2011, and i'd like to serve in Akwa ibom/Calabar. these two states r rich and veri beautiful, and plus, their women sabi do no be small. lol. i dnt like lasgidi tins cos of d hustle nd bustle and i dnt want abuja tins cos i no want after camp my old man go say mek i from him house for Abj dey go my PPA cos me i be person wey dey flex till 12a.m. and my chances of being posted in calabar/akwa ibom? 99.9% What about you?

[quote
author=Vincent 4]Am corper Vincent wit state code number
zm/12b/02...........reporting from tsafe zamfara ztate................
To God,who made me,dis is de worst N.Y.S.C camp cos of de saharia Law
and de fact dat Male hostel is about 500km away fro de camp.
De food is notin to write home about cos is NONSENSE.........
De weather there is too much,
flies in thier 100 follows u everywhere u go justlike mtn
den de Solidiers are taking their time Shareing our YET to married
ladies......na dis 1 de pain mepass
They are Doing AFTR SACK NA Me.....i pit girls and de husband dat will
marry them[/quote]JUST PASSING AND TALKING TO MYSELF*** abegi o! i no wan mek hundreds of flies dey follow me or my brothers and sisters for ds batch c house or mek i dey chop nonsense or mek i dey live 500 kilometers from camp, lol. IMAGINE!!! i wonder whether dem dey even laugh for zamfara sef. lol... or sharia law no go charge dem for laughin. lmao! i dont want to be infected o! ebami o!

abasuffi i c u my brother...

[quote
author=Vincent 4]Am corper Vincent wit state code number
zm/12b/02...........reporting from tsafe zamfara ztate................
To God,who made me,dis is de worst N.Y.S.C camp cos of de saharia Law
and de fact dat Male hostel is about 500km away fro de camp.
De food is notin to write home about cos is NONSENSE.........
De weather there is too much,
flies in thier 100 follows u everywhere u go justlike mtn
den de Solidiers are taking their time Shareing our YET to married
ladies......na dis 1 de pain mepass
They are Doing AFTR SACK NA Me.....i pit girls and de husband dat will
marry them[/quote]JUST PASSING AND TALKING TO MYSELF*** abegi o! i no wan mek hundreds of flies dey follow me or my brothers and sisters for ds batch c house or mek i dey chop nonsense or mek i dey live 500 kilometers from camp, lol. IMAGINE!!! i wonder whether dem dey even laugh for zamfara sef. lol... or sharia law no go charge dem for laughin. lmao! i dont want to be infected o! ebami o!

abasuffi i c u my brother...

psoto: All of u shld go τ̅☺ church o. Wake up!!! I'm off τ̅☺ church. No food till I'm back.

my sister abeg go well, and abeg pray for all of us in the house for a favorable posting. as for me, i dey pray, i dey cast and bind any North/BH state for any of us in the house. there's one guy by name vincent4 reporting from zamfara state, i no wan get close to ds guy or even talk to am cos this northern posting dey infectious, i fit ask am how zamfara dey now before i know am him go infect me with him zamfara camp. psoto abeg help me ask am how zamfara dey and whether dem dey laugh for zamfara. lol

[quote
author=psoto]Hanhan, its too early naa...I don't think call up number can b out
before October...so October it is, unless they want τ̅☺ change d
routine dis tyme.[/quote]wetin dey too early ehn? lol. me wey don already pack my bag finish. i no fit w8 o! but i know call up number will be out in september, the same time our time-table will be out...

psoto i c u, so u finall wake? oluwa oshe o! psoto wetin we dey chop ds mornin?

cy u don wake? i c u sharp sharp..... Happy Monica bro...

Happy Monica my brothers and sisters wey dey house... it's past 7 on a saturday mornin and evbdy still dey sleep? nna na waoo!!! if not for horbasco and Gods-child wey don already wake... Godschild i see u, Happy monica, horbasco i c u too, happi monica. see as Cy jus dey snore by ds time, My God!!!; Banttie sleep for floor close to wher guttar dey outside, thank God say him no sleep inside guttar, wher psoto dey chai, psoto don snore pass Cy oooo!, dele is no wher to be found... mek i go buy chewing stick i dey com...

GYRATING*** e get 1 day i dey go 1 migration, i dey go migration ilya hammer matriculation, as i was going egele com stop me, dem say mek i stop o say mek i open my booth o, i open my booth o dem com c kegs of palm wine, dem say mek i turn o we musto reach dia station, we reachi for station DPO na LSF, CPO na LSF kalima ilya du engine, we vibrate in swahili in swahili languata, erepeta repeta father ur daysis be long o....

SINGING AND GYRATING * **I am proud i belong to kegite, i belong to kegite, ilya imobraska, i am proud i belong to kegite i belong to kegite, ilya imobraska***

THE GODS ARE WISE!!!!!!!!!!!!

THINGS TO TAKE TO CAMP:

1: condom/mornin after pill
2: 16 passport photographs
3: original statement of result and call up letter
4: 16 photocopies each of your statement of result and call-up letter( in camp, each fotocopy is as high as N20)
5: stapler with your own pins and tipex
6: four white T-shirts, two white shorts, 1 good white sneakers.(NYSC will giv u all dis but they will easily wear out, u know naija and low quality stuff)
7: pillow case and bed cover
8: torch light, slippers and enough handkerchief and detergent.
9: mp3, ipod or music fon.
10: provisions and beverages.

please avoid the mistake of packing too much baggage. u ll wear only white tru out ur stay in camp. jus tek three nice clothe of urs cos u will only be allowed to wear mufti only on sunday and u v jus three sundays in camp.

Gods-child i see u as well. my journey was good, tnx...

walkshine @cy09, unity in diversity, by dia 1 finger and karriabilty u shall know dem. GYRATING AND SINGING # chiefu no dey suffer, dem no dey beg for food, evry liberation o na dia money o, evry migration o na dia money o!# i don begin sweat...

My people, Abeg, who poo inside toilet wey no flush am? 10 buckets of water no fit flush dat poo becos dat poo dey smell woman poo woman poo. i dey house dey watch "The Gods Must Be Crazy", poo no dey inside toilet o! but as Aunty ify com enter house, something com dey inside toilet. My question goes again, who poo inside toilet wey no flush am? if u know who do am better talk sharp sharp now or forever remain quiet. Abegioo, i neva talk say na she oo! but if u talk say na she na u sabi...

Abeg, who poo for toilet wey no flush am? 10 buckets of water no fit flush dat poo becos dat poo dey smell woman poo. Aunty ify enter house wen i dey watch movie but i neva talk say na she oo! but if u talk say na she na u sabi...

[quote author=Sexy:ify]welcum bro, hope u brought a lot of goodies 4 all of us in the house. We miss u[/quote]Aunty ify thank u. thank God say u don cum bac house but abeg, no vex oo! u know say na only me and u dey house, tel me truth, na u shit dat thing wey dey inside toilet and why u no com flush am

I don show i don show! Banttie i visualize u on my HD... how evrybody dey? Godsuchiiiiiillllld! Godusuchilllld! Godusuchillldehhh!!!, abi u neva cum bac frm farm, chinekeeme, wher didi all disi boysi go to ehn? Peeesoooto! peeesoooto! peeesoooteehhh!, Aunty iffyyyyyyyyyyyyoooo!, femiiiiiiiiiiiiii! breeeeezzzzzzioooo! ceeeeeewayiiiioooo!! i know all my brodas nd sistas r all fine shaa even tho non of dem dey house, na only me dey house for now. anyway sha my visit to my alma mater make bread, my skool v started reconciliation of results. i dey come, mek i go buy kerosene...

[quote author=Gods-child]IK121, i see you're also awake...how your night bro?...abi na film you still dey watch?[/quote]bros goodmornin o! u know say i sleep early las9t so i woke up early readin my missin in action on nairaland. guy i get good news 4 u, psoto go cook coconut rice ds mornin, i swear, she tell me SO. u know, hunger folo wire psoto las9t, around 1:am wen i be wan go ease mysef, i catch psoto for kitchen wher she dey chop crayfish with onions, i nearly die #LAUGHING ARABIC# i know say na d hunger mek her decide to cook ds mornin. Guy i go reach my alma mata, the prestigeus ABSU today, i wan go flex small, i fit show bac hous on thur/fri..