Please for those who have experienced this... How did it turn out? How did you handle the situation? This lady, I suppose, is refreshing this page and reading comments as they drop here. It's urgent.

ghettokid1:
Let her poison her younger sister so that she can give way

Please no stupid and unreasonable comments.

.

Hello guys this is an issue that requires immediate attention. Please no insults. Not everyone is strong enough to receive them. Don't say words that will affect this person negatively. This issue was just brought up in a WhatsApp group which I belong to called LOVERS COACH https:///EWuKAn6gv7VFgcqRL9V5Qf It's a group where relationship issues are tackled. But this one pass our power so I asked for permission to bring it to this wider audience. We trust you will profer realistic solutions to this dear lady. Please if you've been in this situation before, let us know how you solved it. Thanks.




HEART ON FIRE�1


Advise needed......
Hi guys I know I can rely on you guys for a suiting advice on this matter.

I have been in relationship with this guy for over a year now. I have observed my man carefully and I see he cares about me and am happy about it. my area of concern now is that my man visited me this season of Christmas and saw my younger sister that came back from school to spend Christmas with us. I have been observing the closeness of my man with my younger sister and I feel that it is un-called for. At times they leave for hang outs and abandon me at home. I observed the mood of my sister that she is now in love with my man. I have heard cases where the younger sister snatched their older sister's men. I'm scared. What should I do now in order not to loose my man to my younger sister?

Please mods move this to front page. This lady urgently needs help. Thanks

Ariza:
Preach bro ! But be ready for some attacks.

The truth is , most guys who propagate this misconception do out of self pity.Self pity borne out of inability to form or keep a relationship.A guy with no manners or value get rejected instead of him to check himself, he concluded the other guy was chosen over him because he dresses better.Lol little does he know that though he dresses better, he spends lesser.
A guy lost his woman to another Man out of carelessness and selfishness but to cover his weakness pushes the blame on the woman painting her as a money lover. Little does he know that the other man isn't financially okay as he is.

For guys, every relationship lost is to a better (richer guys).A guy will hardly look at where he is morally or psychologically wrong but will focus on his financial inability and draw his conclusions from there. Not that I blame most though, the society has always based the existence of Man on how much he can financially provide thereby demanding less morals, chastity, and other humane values from him. Unfortunately, the world has revolved Chances of making money and providing is open to all genders, leaving the typical man in a confused state. The typical man is fast losing relevance. Women are demanding more than money because they can now make it themselves.

Tell that man who loses relationships to stop trying to make more money but to work on his total make up (being) else he will die early while his money will be wasted by others.

Thanks man. Attack na normal thing. Most people are fixed in their ideologies. Not everyone is opened to learning and change and that's why some people suffer to painfully go through the window instead of going through the door that was unlocked all the while. Lack of knowledge is truly an evil thing. It's just like those that grew up with the mindset that mathematics is difficult. If they don't meet someone to help correct that information they will keep dreading and failing mathematics for as long as they live. So it's not because mathematics is truly difficult but because they hold an unchanging and unbending view that it is. What you strongly believe, overtime becomes real.

NathanAnomaly:
Let me book space before I edit it and say what I want to say.

MODIFIED.

First, I am lazy when it comes to engaging in unnecessary social media battle of words that won't even be beneficial to me in any way.


But let me find strength to quickly write this,


Forget the long story he wrote, The Direct answer to the title of the OP's thread is simply because in this present generation,

U can count with just one hand, the cases of ladies who reject a rich man and his money to remain with their broke boyfriend who they really like the most.


But on other hand, the number of girls who have left their true soulmate who they really love and share a deep connection with,


just because he is broke young and still trying to find his foot is as innumerable as the sands on the sea shores.


Obviously this OP have not been redpilled, You are still under feminine emotional manipulations,


I said it with certainty because he said within the article paraphrase "if you win her with money, when the money finishes, they will leave u"



Before Nko ?? Even if it's juju you used to win her, You think she won't leave u when the money finishes ?


He said paraphrase "if you win her with money and she sees someone who offers more, she will leave"


Again I ask rhetorically, before nko ?


You think if your girlfriend sees dantoge's younger brother today today, she won't leave u ?



Let's be realistic here, relationships for most women is all about the highest bidder


Hypergamy is real, better get used to it.
Monkey branching is also real, better get used to it too



Oh you really think most A-list worldwide actors and artiste can't take your current girlfriend if they wish to ??

Mr man, you better wake the fvck up.


won't know you are really single until Wizkid inbox your girlfriend on instagram. �


Na there your eyes go clear.
It's all about the highest bidder, get used to it.


so you really think Regina Daniel is sooo in love that Jeff bezos or sultan of Brunei can't take her from Mr Ned ??



My guy you better wake the fvck up.
It's all about the highest bidder, get used to it.


Most girls will deny it cos they are naturally hypocritical, but it's the harsh truth.


It's better to wake up by yourself than to wait for reality to wake you up, cos reality with do it with a hot slap.


And yes I can confidently say that my mom picked my dad because he was the most qualified at that time to meet her emotional, feminine and financial needs.


If there was someone else in the picture who could do all these things to make her happy financially and emotionally than my dad, she would have picked that person.

SPOILER ALERT, your mom did the same thing too.

wonder why the one among our forefathers who had the larger farm, larger labour force and larger ban of yam always had the better women ?

Your guess is as good as mine,

NOR BE TODAY E START.


LISTEN, the major reason your parents are even investing on you and training you in school is because they know and assume that if you make it and become somebody big in future, it will be beneficial to them in their old age.

What I am trying to say is, HUMANS are NATURALLY SELFISH.

every decision is taken because they feel that is what is best for them.

Baba wake up from your slumber, humans are selfish, they always want to take decision that best suits their own interest.

Better
Get used to it

WAKE THE FVCK UP.

JI MASUN !!!!




PS: *barn of yam not BAN.

I don't have strength to be scrolling up and down looking for typos or sentences to edit

That's the original manuscript. Take it like that.


If any pretentious woman wants to quote me to say something contrary like
"not all women are after your money"
on a very obvious Truth like this,

I don't power to reply you, you win !!

If you think quoting this to pretend that you don't like money Just to appear like a wife material will get you a husband on nairaland, sorry to burst your bubble,
YOU LIE !!!!!!!!!!

cos it won't

Oga calm down. Life is not a one way traffic. Take it or leave it you cannot impress every woman with your money. How much you get wey person never get before and even exceed? It doesn't matter how many have dumped their men for money-loaded guys. That's not what this article is meant to address. Rather this article is for people like you who believe in the supremacy of money over love. Believe it or not, not every woman is moved by money. For some, if you don't have anything else apart from that, you can check out the next available girl for all they care.
PS: I have dated both good and money-driven women in the past. What I discovered was that women who love money are either too lazy to think of how to make their own money or they feel big to start small, some are from poor homes while others have entitlement mentality. These ones see relationship as a means to an end.

This post is to prove a point which is that for some women who settled with broke guys today, they had received proposals and advances from wealthy men at some point yet they declined. Everyone has what they're looking for. It's just like a market... Everyone comes there but not all are buying the same thing. They all came with individual lists. So please if you're used to only women who demand for your money then I'm sorry to say that you've been meeting with only one kind and mostly it's your money-before-love-mindset that draws them to you. It's just like saying all men like football or beer or sex. You know that's not true. Most men may like those stuff but certainly not all. Not everyone is drawn to the same thing. They may be in the minority but still they exist.

The post is not endorsing poverty as you can clearly see. We're only saying that if you like make all the money in this world not all women will look your way because of the money. Most may look your way but not all because money is not the first thing on their own list.

favoryte33:
Let's face the reality on ground.girls keep guys with such attitudes(but not financially stable)as side guys when they eventually come across a guy that is financially stable&possess atleast one of those attributes u mentioned, she will dumb u for good.

I feel your pain. Sorry for your loss Bro.

MrCork:



bro..so u one of those women who love moiney...correct?. Are u a gold digger?(no oofeense)

This is a true evidence that most people don't read. How will you add value like this my man?

Adiwana:
What a cuck!

I suppose that is your surname? Just asking Bro

yanabasee:
OP, Why do women feel that all men are scum??

.

I am a man as you already can clearly see from my moniker so there's no need trying to get upset as though it was a woman who is writing this post just to defend her gender.

Few days ago this great post emerged on the front page https://www.nairaland.com/5585155/money-delaying-getting-married-read titled "If money is delaying you from getting married..." and I must say that I was impressed just like a whole lot of others too and we can judge by the almost 800 likes that post gathered. So why did that post gather so much likes? It is simply because the guy in question was bold enough to do what most men think is impossible. I read some comments on how that he will suffer and all that silly talk. Some even went as far as insulting him. But take it or leave it that post has changed a lot of wrong perceptions that has been formed by young people in our generation. I read that post carefully and I came up with few conclusions:

The young man claimed that the lady in question is a virgin. Now we know that a virgin who has reached the age of marriage is hard to come by. Why is this so? This is because of the high moral decadence in our generation. So for a lady to preserve herself for maybe over 25 years amidst the tension and pressure around her to conform is highly impressive. She must have sustained a very high level of discipline to be able to do that. So how can a guy who cannot even afford to raise 500k be able to get her to accept marrying him knowing very well that so many guys with much money had failed to convince her without any success? There could only be few reasons...

1. He must have something that is more valuable than money at the moment which is a sound mind. Now what is a sound mind? This is the ability for one to be able to develop their mind spiritually and physically. It is the ability to operate with a wisdom that is rare. It is the ability to see deep into people and be able to bring out the best in them. You see, it is impossible for you to encounter someone with a sound mind without being affected positively forever. A man with a sound mind has a plan for his life and knows how to go about it even though you may not always agree with his methods. A man with sound mind can be able to navigate life very well even without money and still have the required results he wants. A. Man with a sound mind is a leader. He knows what to do per time. He is hardly stranded nor confused. This is just to mention a few. Now as easy as this 'sounds', many people do not possess it. Most people have a mind but not a sound one. Women of this stature look for men with this kind of mindset. They need real men not grown up boys with some money to throw around.

2. Value: Anything with value naturally is expensive. What make a thing expensive? It is the fact that a lot of work and expertise was required to make it become unique.
Now a man of value has invested much in himself in terms of knowledge both spiritually and in other matters. Haven't you heard women pray for God to give them a God fearing man? He must not necessarily be a pastor but he must be a man who can be a priest to lead his family to God. But that's not all. Men of value are men who have subjected themselves to much learning hence are less ignorant about various aspects of life. Such men may not have money at the moment but give them time and you'll be surprised what they'll become.

3. Honesty: honesty is one thing that is rare in our generation. A man will hustle from Monday to Saturday only to squander all the money on a woman just to impress her; just to make her see him as a big boy which actually he isn't. Women of value can read through such men. Any woman you lose because you tell her your true financial state is not actually a good woman. She was there for your money.

4. Being a man of yourself: Most men are too clingy and insecured. They are like cry babies. They have no self control. They can hardly stay away from their woman for a whole day. Some men are too jealous and controlling. It's as if they don't have a life outside their relationship. A girl once told me that the guy she's dating is too nice and she always gets irritated with the way he clings to her. He can't seem to make any decisions on his own without consulting her first. She was even questioning whether he had any friends to hang out with apart from her. This guy was making serious money o. Sometimes he is even being paid in hard currecy. But guess what? She left him for me who didn't even have one naira to give her. I was even staying in a one room apartment then. If you see this babe ehn... Over fine and shape dey worry her.

5: She needs a partner not just a husband. A smart woman needs a man with whom she can work together with and who will also challenge her to grow not just a man who throws money at her face. Such men are rare.

Bonus:A man who is funny: Do you know that the most dangerous guys are not the ones with good looks or much money? They are the funny ones. They will keep making a woman laugh until she remove... . Lol funny but true. Now I'm not actually asking you to be a comedian but please be cheerful and optimistic. Let your cheerfulness be contagious.

Let me stop here. But the main thing is don't try to be someone else. Improve yourself, work hard and if possible get a woman when you're still broke so both of you can grow together. This is the type that will understand your life process and journey to wealth not just a a stranger you bring in when you have finally made the money and have become grandpa with semi white hair.

For those of you who wish to argue with me I have just one question for you: WAS YOUR FATHER A MILLIONAIRE BEFORE HE MARRIED YOUR MOTHER? THOSE WHO ARE MILLIONAIRES IN OUR GENERATION... ARE THEIR MARRIAGES AS PEACEFUL AND LONG LASTING AS THOSE OF OUR PARENTS WHO DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING BEFORE SETTING OUT IN LIFE?

If it was money that you used to attract a woman, you'll need more money to keep her and lest I forget... The day she sees a man who has more money than you do, if she has the opportunity she'll flee from you. Who no like better thing?

Young men please be guided. Not all women are motivated by money. There are women you can never get if the only thing you have to offer is money. Please become a person of value. At that point, money will matter less when a woman decides to stay with you. This is how good women think. Take it or leave it.

Blyzz:
Nairalander's are quick to respond to relationship matters, the thread becomes long till infinity. But when someone comes asking for opportunities, or to aid his/her creatives or ideas, everybody will be mute and reticent. Devils are dwelling in the hearts of Africans.

Abeg no kill person with laff here.

SirLiquidGold:
I will go straight to the point. I'm 29years old and I have no girlfriend to call mine. Although when I was in school and during my NYSC some girls do give me attention but the moment we all did POP it was like the world changed for us all. I realized maybe I was too busy getting worried about the future than I should have had more time for women.

All along, my intention was to graduate, have a good job, then go into a serious relationship and get married but reality can be often disappointing.
It's rather unfortunate that no job is forthcoming since I finished service in December, 2017.

I'm very sure you would not believe it if tell you that I'm a virgin because I've never tasted sex all my live. Though i intend getting married at 30 and I've no job yet, I really feel like having a girl in my life now. I feel really lonely waking up alone everyday and hugging my pillow. It's as if nature is craving for what I ought to have had by now.

I need somebody that I can share my thought with, somebody I would be there for and also would be there for me. Guys I know you are wiser than I am, please advise me!!! Just yesterday night I came across a post on front page about "if money was delaying one from getting married and I am really worried

Bro let me tell you this... Pay attention very well. The best time to get a good woman is when you're broke. Because at this point she's going to be with you because she wants to build with you, support and love you genuinely. According to popular belief, it's money before love but that's not true. It is actually love before money. Men who wait all their lives to get money before looking for love have the mindset that it is money that attracts women. But guess what? It's not true. A woman whom you attract with money, will have to be maintained, preserved and sustained with money. But a woman whom you attract with your vision and plans will stay with you through thick and thin because she truly believes in you. Please keep looking for good means of income but make sure you go learn how to genuinely attract a woman. It will help you very much. All the best.

grossintel:
She'll be 25 next month. So would that now make her mature

My brother it is expected that at 25 she suppose don wise. Please if she's not improving let her go. Because from what you said she seems to me like someone who is manipulative. Please if it has to do with the TV and all those other small stuffs you mentioned no wahala. But if it goes deeper than that let her go. Don't manage what you cannot tolerate. See... most women do not work on themselves they will strongly believe that if a man truly loves them he will take them the way they are and you know that that is absolute nonsense. If there are things you've warned her about and she's not willing to adhere to, it will only get worse in future. Please do well to know what you can tolerate and what you can't.

grossintel:
I have something paining me so much, and for this reason, I'm seriously reconsidering settling down. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while, and even though we plan to get married soon I always see reasons to hold on. Marriage is not something you really rush into, honestly, it might look good on the outside but inside it's something else.

She used to be a student and come visiting once in a while but now she's done with school and has been around for a month. This is the longest time we've ever seen since we started dating and now I'm getting the vibe of what it feels like living with a woman. In fact it's better she's away and we see like we used to.
There are so many things I can't do anymore, simply because she's here. I can't play my ps4 in the sitting room anymore, as soon as I have the time and decide to, she's already there watching Telemundo or some other channel I can't relate to. When you tell her to switch to something we both have interest in she'll nag about how I don't want her to have a good time. When I insist I want to play games or watch something else she'll just leave the sitting room and enter the room and lock herself.

I had a talk with her, and she suggested I move the ps4 to the guest room, I have a 32 inch TV there, and a 60 inch 4k UHD in the well-furnished sitting room. I just looked at her as she said this while sipping Fresh Yogo with a wide smile. How can I live like a church rat inside my house? I can't keep something and it will still be there when I return. I can't eat what I want, it has to be what she wants or she'll cook it anyhow and give me.

She said we need 30k for feeding, no problem as long as we eat well. But when she go market and come back, I was looking for money one day and asked her if she had, she asked me to check her purse and I saw 1k everywhere. When I asked her she said it's her savings.

I'm here because these whole thing is paining me, if it's like this, then imagine how it will be when married forever. I spoke to a friend about it, and he said I'm too soft on her, that if I tell her something and she refuses then I should hit her. That's a no-no for me, I can't do that instead I ask her to leave. Please married people, how do you deal with women? It's driving me completely nuts.

When they tell you guys to date matured women una no go gree. You're looking for a toddler with a matured person's mind. Don't expect a girl of 19 or 20 to act like a woman of 25-30. You better no kill yourself before your time.

IAmStrange:
Congratulations... May God bless your Union especially with one of the greatest blessings which is for the influence of Imes to enter your home

I pray you will both come to love Imes and so will your children, and together, all of you will make it to the final destination of bliss where you shall dwell with the righteous

Just make sure that whenever Imes comes, you open your mind to the truth

What is imes please

eni4real:
Let me rephrase it: "If you are not called a stingy man in Nigeria that means you are a mumu man.."

Hope you understand my comment now??

Yes sir. I'm sorry please

eni4real:
If you are not called stingy, you are a mumu man

Oga maturity is the ability to make your own decisions without the fear of criticisms. The guy had made his decision not minding what your little mind thinks about him.

Pluto11:



Rich or poor, luck is getting what you do not deserve or work for just like that. If that girl's father was the greedy kind this guy will be crying now. The girl would be dragged to another man's house and 1 million exchange hands. All this why her mother will be telling her how its a crime for beautiful women like her to marry a poor man.

He was lucky.

Hmmmm.... My brother something is wrong with Africa. We are our own problem. All the best to him though

Pluto11:
You were lucky is all. You need to thank God.

Congrats.

There's nothing like luck in life. The Bible calls it time and chance or being at the right place, at the right time with the right requirements. The only time luck occurs is if a child is born into a rich home because they didn't plan for it. But as for other things my brother you must be intentional about it o.

Thiwalade:
That's very good! Many times when I think of marrying this my igbo babe(I'm yoruba) I sometimes wonder how much it'll cost me. This lady definitely worth every penny honestly but the way Nigeria is now doesn't give room for too much spending especially for upcoming men.

My brother am Ibo and I know how my people can be. Just follow what the OP said. If you wan do half of wetin de their list your 500k don burn. Minus traditional marriage o.

Wow! May God bless your Union. Amen

Thank God for the fact that you survived. Its well with you dear.
To those who marry a woman only because she's beautiful and not because of any other reasonable worth... What if this happens? Will you throw your wife away? The real beauty of a woman is in what she can multiply through her dedicated years of self improvement and value, not in her face. But will not hear. The Bible says that beauty is vain.

My dear take things easy. I understand how you feel. The truth is that men by nature are highly jealous and overly protective of whatever or whomever they love even though they hardly show it. Once a woman drifts into cheating in any form, the average man would not tolerate it. You sound like you're not young anymore and will like to settle down quickly that's why you seem desperate. But I'd advise that you calm down, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you can actually bear the fact that even if you marry this guy he will never be able to trust you again till death do you part. Is that something you can bear? I'd advise you move on. If there's something valuable about you that made him feel complete, he'd come back for you but if not he wont. Because the more you try to pacify him, the more mad he'll become. He needs to settle down to see beyond your mistake and how it has hurt him. He needs time alone. If your mistake overwhelms your value he will never accept you back but if your value overwhelms your mistake, he'll come back for you after sometime. But whatever the case, I'd advise you force yourself to stay alone from now on. The mistake has been made but it's not the end of your life. Just focus on being a better person so that whether with him or with another man, you'll excel in your relationship. All the best dear.

dayo2me:
what it does is to share content / posts to your followers on nairaland. Hope you get it now?

But like the poster above said... You won't be notified.

I'm not sure of which section to place this. I have been wandering about the actual use of the "share" option on nairaland. What is it for please? For other platforms, the "share" button will give you the options of sharing the information from that site to other social media platforms like facebook and whatsapp. So what does nairaland "share" option do? Thanks

.

dawnomike:
Kindly report to the police... They'll tell you to attend the interview while the location is placed under surveillance. They might just be real but it is better to be careful thank sorry later.

Have you met any of them before?

I was accosted by a lady some time ago in Abuja and I decided to give her a listening ear and then she began talking about how I can access loan easily as long as I have some business idea. I was really in need of cash then for some businesses which I was hoping to set up. So you can imagine the keen interest with which I listened. She said I'll just have to to appear and talk with a panel at some venue and at a particular time set so as to convince the panel. So I wrote down my number on a small form provided. After about two days I got a call from them and they sent me a message later on with details of the venue and time I'm supoosed to come around. But I couldn't make it so I thought everything was over. After about two or three days I got a call from them again saying that I've been re-scheduled for another meeting with them (they made it seem like they are trying to help me by giving me a second chance to meet). That was when I became scared. I was even thinking they were ritualists.

Has anyone met these set of people too? (They're always standing around strategic places in Abuja trying to stop people to listen to them.) If you have encountererd them please share your experience. Are they genuine?

themonk:
Rest in peace preacher.


They shouldn't have ended it with make a donation.

How much do you have that's making you complain of why they ended the statement like that? Men of immense wealth will be more than happy to contribute. Thank you

My guy told me that after training this fine girl who happened to be his woman then in school... He bought sewing machine for her and did a lot of financial stuff for her including sending her on trainings I think aside from the cash he used to send to her regularly because money de enter him hand very well then. After graduation this same babe started acting funny o. After a while she called and told him that she had a dream where she saw a guy (who happens to be a medical student asking her out while she was still in school) entered a vehicle with a different woman and I think she said she was standing outside and wearing wedding gown or so. I cant really remember the funny story as I was told. And the according to her she started asking people the meaning of the dream and she claimed that those people told her that the guy in the vehicle who is the medical doctor is her real husband.

Na so the Babe free this my guy small small o. The mum was even against what she was doing telling her to remember that it was this my guy that assisted her while she was yet in school. The guy no dey get money again. Him don broke wella. So the girl till today don find her level. I suspect she's dating the doctor now. I still see her sometimes at my junction when coming from work. The thing is when you tell guys to leave small girls alone they won't listen. If you must date make sure you date a matured woman. I'd rather date a matured lady in terms of age and have peace of mind than date a smallie and have high BP all in the name of having a sweet 16 as my woman. No matter how young she is today she must definitely get old and her beauty will wipe off. Men should be wise.