₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
I sense the reason why you keep needing to throw in the term Imperfect — if perfection is impossible with humans then the word itself is meaningless when discussing human relationships— has something to do with needing to provide some excuse for what you privately consider an acceptable level of evil or abuse within this idea you refer to as a happy marriage. Am I wrong?

It’s no surprise that you and persons like you hold a very pessimistic view of marriage.
I am not sure if you are male of female however your pessimism is really deeply rooted and so responding to you might actually be a waste of my time and energy or simply and academic exercise.

For your point number 1, I will ask you: are humans perfect?, do you know anyone who is? Are you perfect?

If you seek perfection with no tolerance for errors, you bring needless frustration on yourself.

It is wisdom for a man to overlook the small errors of his fellow men because you are not blameless.
The Bible correctly says: love covers a multitude of sins.

2. Life itself is full of challenges— every human being, whether married or single. You rarely find single individuals declaring their life to be happy because there needs to be an extraordinary situation that makes a life a happy one. I am interested in knowing exactly what it is that makes a marriage a happy one. 🥱🥱🥱

Happiness is relative not absolute. It’s also a personal decision to choose happiness which comes from contentment- the knowledge that you can’t achieve absolute happiness in this world.
Modesty is also key to happiness, modesty is the realisation that neither or others are perfect and that expectations should be within human abilities.

3. 10s of millions of married Christians make the same claims, yet the divorce/spousal abandonment rate, domestic violence/abuse rates, etc, among married Christians is no different than that of those who don't even believe in a deity. So, how do we measure this How do you measure the presence or absence of these things, given that there are no clear visible differences to be seen between those who claim to have a happy marriage and those who don't, on the most part? 🥱🥱🥱

It’s your choice to dwell on the negatives but to insinuate that there are no fulfilled marriages is a dangerous conclusion. So speak for yourself not for everyone.

Separation and divorce is allowed where there clear cases of infidelity, abuse and intolerance etc.
Being happy in marriage today does not mean being happy forever, it’s a work in progress except you’re being unrealistic or just want to ridicule others.

Plus if you unhappy, don’t insist others are.

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The OP on this thread clearly depicts a pastor who used marriage to debase his wife(he was a doctor himself before he became a pastor, and then chose to snuff out his wife's dream of becoming a pastor by using his marriage to her against her and then recently went on to humiliate her for ending up with an online masters degree after all her fuzz). He too pretends to be happily married and would deploy that same slosh of words about love, joy, patience, kindness, and holyspiritzz when asked about it. So, I really want to learn why the use of the word happy to express even a damaged situation.

I don’t suppose this part has anything to do with me even as it’s your right to be pessimistic.
But my happiness is based on tangible evidences rooted not on being fault-finding but endeavouring to see the good in my wife and appreciating the efforts she makes. The Bible which I believe you despise enjoins husbands to love their wives as they love themselves adding that since no man ever hates himself but feeds and cherishes his own body, husbands must likewise love their wives and wives in return show deep respect to their husbands. Here’s the secret to a happy and fulfilled marriage.
Given you selfish and unforgiving disposition, this is beyond your comprehension.

Also, you probably need to look up the meaning of the word "Endurance".