₦airaland Forum

Which was your favourate subject
in Secondary/high
school?
1. Mathematics
2. English
3. French
4. Physics
5. Chemistry
6. Biology
7. Geography
8. History
9. Religious Education
10. Commerce
11. Agriculture
12. Homescience
13. P.E
14. Social Studies.
15. Germany
16. Computer Studies.
17. Economics.
18. Accounts
19. Drawing and Design.
Others (Specify name)

MY COUNTRY
Na only for Nigeria you fit win
Aeroplane by loading #200 MTN Recharge Card.=D
Very soon Etisalat go say recharge #200 and win a big ship. =D
Then Airtel go com follow sey,
recharge #100 an win benin republic. =D
Glo, go jus kuku say... Recharge
500 and win Nigeria because there colour na Green =D
Na only for Nigeria you go see fish inside"MEATPIE" =D
Na only for nigeria we dey count money after we withdraw am from ATM because we no even trust ATM machines.=D
Na only for Nigeria PHCN dey sey: Win a brand new GENERATOR if
you pay your light bill (wat a piti)=D
Na only fo Naija people dey horn for traffic light make e quick change frum Red to Green.
Na only for Nigeria Pharmacy dey sell Coke, Recharge Card, Chin chin, Puff puff and beer.=D
Wetin you u no see for Naija, you no fit see am anywhere in d world... Trust me.
Abeg na joke o, no take am
personal O =))
I love Naija!

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hmmmn

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oubi: Ʊ neva even see d job bt Ʊ don kno d requirements..


Well... I ws jst passing......

u beta enta keke esle rain go meet you 4 rd

If you are graduate from a
reputable university, with atleast a
2nd CLASS UPPER DIVISION grade,
and require an exciting carreer in
the oil and gas sector, then this is
your chance.
But first you must meet the
following IMPORTANT
requirements:
1. Must possess a profiency
certificate in Health Safety and
Environment (HSE).
2. Must be a team player.
3. Must be able to work under
pressure with minimal
supervision.
4. Possession of previous related
experience will be added
advantage.
If you are the ideal person and
are serious in getting this job,
PLEASE JUST COME LET'S EMBARK
ON THE JOB SEARCH TOGETHER.
Two UNEMPLOYED heads are
better than one.
I'm waiting for your response.

hisblud: is this for single girls or married girls? And did you get this from women or your assumption? Ladies is the above true of you?

it is applicable to both.

SAY UR DATE OF BIRTH AND SEE IF SOMEONE ELSE IS BORN ON THAT SAME DAY, IF YOU SHARE SAME DATE,ADD HIM/HER OR HOOK UP..
Am 18 April
email-richyimo@yahoo.com

45 THINGS A GIRL WANT, BUT WON'T ASK FOR:
1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her your jacket. 5. Kiss her slowly.
Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere. 10. Hangout with her and your friends together.
KEEP READING ..
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap. 14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she
can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.
Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she’s beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her. One last thing you need to do
to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to
act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is
something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know! WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT
WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..
26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good
day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she
doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.
ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will
automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.
REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her
as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then
bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.
You’ll never know when she needs just a little more love ..

Who said that drawing
ain't easy on nairaland
comments? Check this out.
------/\____\
-----/:/------/
----/:/------/
---/:/------/
--/:/------/
-/:/------/
/:/------/
\:\------\
-\:\------\
--\:\____\
---\/____/
------_____
-----/\------\
----/::\------\
---/:/ \:\------\
--/:/ --\:\------\
-/:/ ----\:\------\
/:/ ------\:\------\
\:\------/:/ ------/
-\:\----/:/ ------/
--\:\--/:/ ------/
---\:\/:/ ------/
----\::/------/
-----\/____/
-----_____
----|:|------|- -_____
----|:|------|- /\____\
----|:|------|/ :/------/
----|:|------/ :/------/
----|:|-----/:/ ------/
----|:|----/:/ ------/
----|:|---/:/ ------/
----|:|--/:/ ------/
----|:|-/:/ ------/
-----\:/:/ ------/
------\/____/
-------_____
------/\------\
-----/ ::\------\
----/:/\ \------\
---/:/--\ \------\
--/::\---\ \------\
-/:/\:\---\ \____\
-\:\-\:\__\/ ____/
--\:\-\/____/
---\:\------\
----\:\____\
-----\/____.
I know you are now like
wow!

SSW- Single Still Waiting

A man was giving his wife the
beating of her life & woman
kept shouting for help.
Luckily a family friend came in and
the women was so
happy thinking she has got a
helper.
The man said to her husband,
"you don't beat women this days
you marry a 2nd wife".
The women said to the
husband ,"Honey please, don't
listen to him. continue beating
me!".......

No be joke o... Check it out. If your phone number ends wit
0- u are a trouble maker
1- u are very kind
2- u are very funny
3- u are intelligent
4- u are sincere
5- u are careless
6- u are neat
7- u are handsome/beautiful
8- u are straight forward
9- u are shy.
Which one are U ? Mine is 6

doyindav: Out of touch with reality!!
This simply cannot happen!

how real did u wnt it 2b. the gal was just so generous here sha. but d guy was so myiopic to kw dat even 4 free town nothing is free

A GIRL FROM ONE OF THE
NIGERIAN UNIVERSITIES which i will not want to mention SLEPT WITH ALMOST ALL THE LECTURERS IN HER
BOYFRIENDS DEPARTMENT
INCLUDING THE H.O.D.
SHE AGREED TO DO THAT
SHE DID IN THE NAME OF
LOVE,SO THAT HER
BOYFRIEND WILL GRADUATE WITH FIRST CLASS.
Though they both Succeeded! But You know What?
TWO DAYS THE BOYFRIENDS GRADUATION, HE SENT A TEXT MESSAGE TO THE GIRL TELLING HER THAT HE IS CALLING-OFF THE RELATIONSHIP.
You Know What This Girl Did?
Without any waste of time . She had the boyfriend reported to the H.O.D and the lecturers who slept with her.
Guess What..?
The department of this guy
had to label an alligation
against the guy that he had a
fake admission and therefore
he can not be graduated.
So now it is left for the BOY to
either re-register for JAMB
Or quit schooling....
Fellow matured minders i
believe you hav digested this
story.
Now in you own point of view
among the girl and her
boyfriend who do you feel or
think is being wicket to the
peak ?
And why ?..

Love Stories and DISCUSSION
If God would grant you any ONE request NOW, what would you choose?
1. Eternal Life
2. Love
3. Wisdom
4. Wealth
5. Health
6. Peace
7. Power
8. Humility
9. Fame
10. Others( please specify)
Sorry if i post this on a wrong section.

slimyem: other-my boss!

if his wife catch u, ur life will neva remain d same.

Romance:-Who are you sleeping with on your bed right now?
Be sincere pliz
1.Alone
2.Girlfriend
3.Boyfriend
4.Wife
5.Husband
6.One nite stand
7.Prostitute
8. Another man's wife/husband
9. Landlord
10. Pastor
11. Others (specify)

Assuming you buy an MTN recharge card of N1500 for a very
important call and after loading you check your account balance, you
see NGN.0.00.
You became very angry and dialled 180 or 181 (customer care service)
and you hear; Welcome to Boko Haram Customer
Care Service! Your call is very important to us.
Please pay attention to
the following options:
For suicide bombing,
press "1"
To plant a bomb in your area, press "2"
If u hav any information
on how to bomb Aso
Rock, press "3"
To configure your phone to a time bomb, press "4"
To speak with a Boko Haram customer care
representative, press "0"
DO NOT hang up! i repeat,
DO NOT hang up! if you
do, you are dead!.
What would you do?

i c lov n affectns

Which is more important in a relationship?
1) Education,
2) Love,
3) Sex
4) Money
5) Others: specify name.

THE BEAUTIFUL ONES ARE
NOT YET BORN, DOES THAT MEANS WE DONT HAVE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN AROUND....
So stop having this funny idea young people of nowadays.

WOW!!! I just had to share this story!.....
My name is Dayo. I’m a typical
Nigerian guy and I cherish my
Fridays a lot; I get to hang out
with the sickest guys every Friday
night and secondly, It’s another
escape from my nagging and
boring wife. I get confused
sometimes on whether she’s my
mother or my wife. Don’t get it
twisted; I love her pieces. It just
gets complicated; like I wish we
never got married…marriage has
turned her into something that
doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was
still the adventurous, charming,
high spirited lady I dated for five
years.
A lot of people say its unethical for
married guys to be found in a
club, but I wish everyone won’t be
too quick to judge and
understand that people look for
fun to run away from their
problems; they just want to
breathe, like me.
I forgot to say that I work in
Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki,
I love my job and my job loves me,
maybe its because I’m the senior
banking officer. Lol. This particular
morning, a lady breezed into my
office. My heart raced faster
because I had not sighted
anything this beautiful in a long
while. She wasn’t the typical
slender Barbie, in fact, she was a
bit chubby but her smile, cuteness
and…I was tripped.
“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has
swallowed my card!” She laughed,
unlike a typical customer that
would ram you.
I just tried to form Boss laughter…
“Good morning, You know what?
I’d personally make sure they get
it out for you, but not today. Can
you wait till Monday?” I smiled
“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my
number so you could call me up
or just text when its ready so I
don’t come twice? Please? My
name is Nancy” She blinked her
eyes in a funny way.
“Sure” I smiled
We exchanged numbers. What a
lucky Friday!
So it was 10:00pm and I headed
to the club…as usual my friends
were chilling for me. My wife had
called a couple of times, I just
ignored it. She knows I’m never
home Friday nights.
“Look at you!” I heard someone
say. I raised my head and it was
the ATM lady-Nancy.
“Wow, look at you too!” I was
surprised to see her but I was
happy I didn’t have to wait till
Monday to see her again.
“Happy Friday!” She screamed
because of the noise, “Wanna
dance?”
I didn’t even have the chance to
answer, she already pulled me to
dance floor. I really suck at
dancing but she helped me; she
was a great dancer! I had fun! At
some point we decided to go to a
private area and we talked,
ranging from work, business to
personal life. I tried to hide my
ring as much as possible, I
certainly didn’t want this to end
now.
“You are a really wonderful lady.
You are so interesting…any guy
would want to be with you all
day” I said.
“I wasn’t always like this but I
have learned the hard way that
life is just too short to be sad” she
sang
Then her phone rang…
“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private
lounge, I’d like you to meet
someone…alright boo” she talked
excitedly as usual.
I was in shock until this tall
handsome man walks up to her
and kisses her.
“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met
him this morning, he’s helping
with your ATM I told you got
swallowed and Dayo this is my B
to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my
husband Kolade, we only come
here to dance every fortnight
Friday; away from work, stress
and kids.”
“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to
shake him
Then she stood now excitedly
holding her husband’s arms.
“Why don’t we invite Dayo for
Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?”
Her husband said
They have kids too? How long
have they been married and they
look like a couple just dating!
“Silly me, please come for my
second daughter’s 16th
tomorrow. It would be an honor”
She brought out an I.V from her
purse.
I began to feel so ashamed of
myself…this was another guy like
me, getting it right with one
woman.
I collected the I.V and promised to
be there.
“See you tomorrow! Have you had
something to eat Kolade?” she
talked and dragged her husband
along.
They left and I kept staring at the
thin air like I had seen a ghost.
They come just to dance together
every fortnight Fridays? Why
didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to
dance…she also likes long walks,
she loves to talk…she loves jazz
music, there’s this vivid picture I
have of me putting her hand on
my chest when we danced at a
jazz club on our first year
anniversary…I found myself typing
all the things I knew Temi loved to
do on my Ipad and I realized I had
denied her of all…I had made her
the old woman she acts.
What the hell was I doing here! I
didn’t even tell my friends
goodbye, I walked out of the club
into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came
through and I picked at first ring.
“Temi?” My heart raced
“I know you are not coming
home…”
“I am, stay up so we can gist.
Been a while” I decided to do
everything on that list and to even
add many more for the rest of my
lifetime with her.
“Are you alright?” She was
shocked I suppose
“And I’d like us to go for a
birthday party tomorrow. I want
you to meet this amazing couple”
“You sound different Dayo”
“Maybe I’m different”
“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when
you come we will gist very well”
she laughed
She laughed!!! In just that
laughter that I hadn’t heard in a
while, she sounded like the lady I
married six years ago…
Dear reader,
I wrote this natural piece just to
remind us that creating
memorable moments with our
partner matters. Do you know
that little things are the sweetest
things? Just creating time to gist
and laugh with your partner,
having a day in the week that’s
exclusively for you both-No
friends or kids allowed.
Lady, when last have you told your
partner he is so darn hot? Guy!
When last have you told your lady
she is the sweetest thing? When
last have you whispered ‘Thank
you’? When last have you been
quick to say ‘I’m sorry’?
Do you even have a clue on what
your partner loves to do?
When you ignore little things, they
are the little pieces of rocks that
build up to become a mountain
you can’t easily break down.
Pay attention to little things,
believe that they work and
experience new bliss!
Yours Truly,