₦airaland Forum

HUSBAND comes before Dad.  DAD comes before some "guy."    Hope that helps.

And the "guy" that's been MIA for 2 months can go visit the girl at her parents' home.  That way, there's no childish bellyaching about transport money.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=590933.msg8136992#msg8136992 date=1302902713]How una dey? [/quote]Kilode t'efe mo bi a se wa?    Me, I'm fine sha.  How are you?

OAM4J:
Put more hints jor, have no clue of what you are talking about.

The Many Adventures of Dollface 

Disclaimer:
1) Ms. Dollface may or may not be a composite of various characters
2) Ms. Babette is definitely one person with several voices in her head
3) Tales may be tall or bow-legged, but more likely fictitious


Act 1 - A day in the Life of Ms. Dollface

Scene 1

Ring Ring
Babette: Hallo
Dollface: Make we gist
Babette: Okay
Dollface: Well. . .(voice in the background: "Ms. Dollface, these proposals you've been working on, can I get an E.T.C. on them"; Dollface: in perfect queens english: "There are 5 of them, in terms of Expected Time of Completion, the priority is the oxford project and I have added an extra account manager and delegated a portion to Ms. Cupcake. We have a strategy meeting in the war room this Thursday and will meet every other day until one week before our deadline."
Returning to gisting: I'm back o jare. That was the Yeye oga man. I for sit here all day and do this yeye work. make we dey gist
Babette: So this your ajepako brother. . .
Dollface: Wetin be ajepako?
Babette: A-Je-Pa-Ko. Instead of ajebutter
Dollface: En ehn. We know ajebota
Babette: Well, the opposite is ajepako
Dollface: And what is that?
Babette: A-Je-Pa-Ko. "re-re-mi-do." It's like the chewing stick thing instead of toothbrush. Or A-Je-Pa-ko. "re-re-mi-mi." You, know, chewing the plywood. I dont bloody know mehn; You said it!
Dollface: Me? I never said that. "Ajepako"? That one na new slang o. That na "abroad yoruba"
Babette: So what is it?
Dollface: Its A-Je-Pa-Ki. "re-re-mi-mi." That na people wey them chew cassava
Babette: Why would anyone chew cassava?
Dollface: bwahahahahahaha. . .


Scene 2

Babette: (IM) I hate u and your ajepaki bro
Dollface: no u no hate us o
Babette: i need new friends
Dollface: wetin u go do?
Babette: drop u all but you'd prob go on a shooting rampage
Dollface: tani? iwo abi emi?
Babette: you of course
Dollface: en ehn. See your head dey swell like garri


Scene 3

Ring Ring
Babette: Hello
Dollface: En ehn
Babette: Hey
Dollface: hmm
Babette: How are you doing?
Dollface: hmmm wetin nau
Babette: Hope everything is going well
Dollface: Me I dey fine
Babette: Work is good?
Dollface: You sef
Babette: Day is just starting
Dollface: Me I like gisting
Babette: How long before u call it a day?
Dollface: 2 hours
Babette: Good. Day just about over then
Dollface: Make we dey gist
Babette: Okay
Dollface: So wetin nau
1 hour later
Babette: Thats funny I guess I'll talk to you soon
Dollface: Wetin? We still dey gist
Babette: I have to step away
Dollface: En ehn
Babette: Ladies room
Dollface: Well, I go dey gist you
Babette: I'll put the phone down. Back in 5.


Scene 4

Ring Ring
Babette: Hullo Hullo
Dollface: (in background: Emi o raye iranu ati oshi)
Babette: Who are you fighting?
Dollface: Oloshi ni bobo yi
Babette: Cool it
Dollface: Wetin? Na my husband friend
Babette: Oh I see
Dollface: (Were ni e. I don dey tell you someone put curse for ya head long time)
Babette: Yikes
Dollface: Na ma homeboy o
Babette: OK
Dollface: (Hey make u bring the eran dindin and the edie. Make you know do cheat cheat this time o. We go count am)
Babette: He works there?
Dollface: Yeah now. He be fellow yaba boy o
Babette: Thats nice to have fellow naijas around like that
Dollface: (I dey talk to my sister. No mind am. Im eye no open wellu well)
Babette: Dont insult me in front of him. Is he nice?
Dollface: (she won know if you sabi cute. hahahahahahaha)
Babette: Whatthehell
Dollface: He says he go call you. He got one woman for yaba and one dey Mushin but no be problem. Im wife wey dey here be headache sha. So he will call you tonight tonight. Be nice to am o. Shay you no wan be old maid. He be very fertile man from Port Harcourt sef. Thank me later
Babette: Bloody hell!

~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~  end  of act 1~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~  *

Upcoming adventures will feature cameo appearances by Ms. Cupcake and other rowdy members of Ms. Dollface's gang of ne'er do wells.

A quick post to follow-up on previous discussions about literary works by Africans.

Off the top of my head, here are some books that were required reading in literature classes while in school in Naija: 

Weep Not, Child, by Ngugi wa Thiong'o;

Things Fall Apart, by Chinua Achebe;

No Longer at Ease, by Chinua Achebe;

L'Enfant Noir (The African Child), by Camara Laye;

Tell Freedom, by Peter Abrahams.

I suspect the OP is futilely trying to delete this thread or have it locked. 

ragdollz:
LMAOOO 

Raggy baybee! 
Haven't crossed paths with you since your bday. hmm.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=645388.msg8117759#msg8117759 date=1302699267]HAHAHA why is that guy apologizing for him? Drogba is angry because they rig elections in his country and we don't.

But really, why is Michael Essien silent? Ghana people and their bad belle for Nigeria sef [/quote]

Poor Chealsea. lol

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=645388.msg8117546#msg8117546 date=1302697876]I can't believe Drogba will not say something about this our election [/quote]

[flash=480,420]http://www.youtube.com//v/IjgbZPCmr14[/flash]

Long version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7FaBTLbWZw

Take that back, or I will link everyone here to a video of you doing just that.

Very nice?  Still can't do the dance sha. 

Actually, I think those are carribean women from Iga Yamaika (the Yoruba compound of Yamaika) near Obalende.   

P.S. I think I spotted naijababe shaking her money-maker!

darkcherry:
that picture of gbagbo wife on the ground with the soldiers is very, very disgraceful.

Re: The picture in this post:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-644107.192.html#msg8108442

Amazing, isn't it.  Someone will defend that too, never fear.

2muchlogic:
cap, why are you wasting time on educating the lost souls? some of us are born to lead and other are born to follow. There would be no balance if we were all leaders or all followers - you are needed here: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-642516.0.html

Cap28 is only one man.  He can't do it all by himself.  E ma paa o. 

Guyman02:
The picture of a subdued captured Gbagbo reminds many Africans of Patrice Lumumba, Congo's first prime minister, shown here sitting in the back of an army truck the day after his arrest in 1960. He was killed a month later.

[size=14pt]Remember Patrice Lumumba[/size]? Captured by the colonial power handed over to the opposition, We know the rest of the story. Plus The Congo has never known peace since then.

Patrice Lumumba who helped win Congo’s independence from Belgium in June 1960 was a passionate nationalist who failed to tame this volatile ‘state without a nation’ containing many different ethnic groups. His fiery and controversial independence day speech culminated with Nous ne sommes plus vos macaques! ([size=14pt]We are no longer your monkeys![/size]),* but Belgium continued to interfere. It backed a rebellion in the southern province of Katanga, and Lumumba sought Soviet aid to quell the rebellion. Within ten weeks, he was toppled by a military coup backed by the CIA.
He was put under house arrest, while a CIA officer was dispatched with a tube of poison toothpaste. Before his assassin arrived, Lumumba escaped from his house arrest, but rearrested from a plane in Elizabethville. He was beaten and humiliated in front of diplomats and journalists, and was on the truck that would inevitably carry him to his execution when the above picture was taken. It was Lumumba’s last photo. A month later, he was executed — put up against a tree and shot by a firing squad directed, so it seems, by Belgian army officers. His body was buried on the spot, later dug up, and dissolved in acid. The bones were ground up and scattered to the winds to make sure there was nothing left of him. The colonel who deposed Lumumba, Joseph Mobutu (later Mobutu Sese Seko) would rule the country despotically until 1997 and proved to be an utter embarrassment for the West, with his Mao suits, cult of personality and nepotism.

Lumumba was one of the greatest leaders Africa will ever see.  His story should be taught to every black child no matter where they are.  Unbelievable!  He had to be snuffed out so we could end up with the despots and oyinbo-worshippers with whom we are now saddled.  Who doesn't love that. 

Alj Uche:
just 4 months ago, all NLer from the north to the SW where shout at ohaneze for endorsing an undecided president yet

. . . look at it now, i even remember when afenefere and arewa wanted against this endorsement but instead ohaneze endorses him 3 times to comfrime they know what they are doing

You cannot conclude that the endorsement was the wrong move unless and until the election is decided against GEJ.  Or do you truly believe any of these challengers, no matter how qualified, will be able to take power from a PDP president?

infact i am tried of being igbo sef

AljUche,
You still got it!  But you cannot disown yourself. 

In the Court of the Interweb

Comes now plaintiff, IsaleGangan a/k/a isale_gan2, brings this complaint against one Dayokanu a/k/a DK a/k/a Perv, for sexual harassment, emotional distress and injury to her reputation.

List:
400 counts of dirty talking;
300 counts of indecent propositioning, including acts not normally occurring in nature;
800 counts of sexual harassment;
100 counts of incitement to public ridicule;
1600 counts of emotional distress as a result;
Seeking $2 million compensation and $20 million in punitive sanctions.

Addendum:
We also include a Class Action Complaint on behalf of all Nairaland victims of the Defendant, for the following:
20,000 counts of sexual harassment, dirty talking, sexual molestation, subjection to public ridicule, slander, and emotional distress as a result.
Seeking $20 million compensation for damages and $100 million punitive sanction.

Exhibit 1 to 10,000:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=24083;sa=showPosts

We also seek seizure of the Defendant's computer and a revocation of his internet service for a period of no less than 12 months, plus 1-month probation to be served working in a women's prison with the Defendant unable to talk to or touch the inmates, and at all times with his hands tied behind his back. 

We demand a jury trial.

Stay tuned for the next installment, the resulting Court Action, where the Perv will say to the learned Judge, "I've always wondered what you gals wear under that robe; care to show me in the cloak room?"

[quote author=Ms. Yam link=topic=640537.msg8094511#msg8094511 date=1302449239]^^^ I will not mention names. I learned my lesson well just by mentioning people's names around here.


but why u go change to Asian for there? To you Asians are cunning abi? [/quote]Just showing that racial slurs can be applied to any group. Don't believe the hype.

naijababe:
^ U found it eventually. Good on you

I did watch it, and will look for the other ones you referred.  I won't do a review of Ikekun at this time.

These are the links to the remaining clips:
Ikekun, Clip 5:

[flash=480,420]http://www.youtube.com//v/vsKPkD7OBK0&feature=related[/flash]

Clip 6:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNosKAFERj8&NR=1
Clip 7:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnxT2ChSGIM&feature=related
Clip 8:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSBfRkoqJqU&NR=1
Clip 9:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inDmi_tqzPU&NR=1
Clip 10:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKnyfBDaKsA&NR=1
Clip 11:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuEKeMGbxAA&NR=1

[quote author=Ms. Yam link=topic=640537.msg8092019#msg8092019 date=1302415904]Alot of Nairalanders here told me that Yoruba's Asians are cunning people[/quote]

Whoa!  That is unacceptable! 

Who are these backstabbing Nairalanders who said Yorubas are cunning?  I'm gonna need names. 

BTW, Is Seun a Yoruba or one of our SS brothers with Yoruba first names? 

Kilode,
How do you get palm wine outside of Naija?  That is, if you are outside of Naija.    Just wondering.  What about ogogoro? 

Anyway, FYI: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-83839.0.html


On topic:
Nigeria: Vote counting begins after parliamentary polls
9 April 2011 Last updated at 14:16 ET
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-13025752

naijababe:
. . . T'oluwa nile and Owo Blow remain my all time favourites. However, others to check out are Magun, Agogo eewo, Koseegbe (Mainframe)

Mortal Inheritance - One of the best movie to come out of Nollywood before the fake Americanas took over in droves
Ikekun - Very recent but also one of the best acted & scripted movie in a long time.
Adeoti - Slightly dated but a very good movie
Eeku Ida- Very good movie . . .  starred Liz Benson and a host of other heavyweights. Very good
All should be available on Youtube

naijababe:
. . . go and watch Ikekun, it's on Youtube and tell me what you think.

Watching Ikekun:

[flash=480,400]http://www.youtube.com//v/l5ea7BMiN0s[/flash]

Clip 2:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yh-qr8IOsA

Clip 3:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bMYKZAwdyc

Clip 4:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAXDiGyeZZQ&NR=1

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=590933.msg8085031#msg8085031 date=1302320313]Those ladies were responding to the noble call of Ilu Omele and Ilu gangan. . . [/quote]Kilode, Can you dance?    Post a video of yourself otherwise I won't believe you can "ko mo'le."

OAM4J:
Still hasn't change the fact that it was a simple question.

Whatever.  I'm not quarreling with you.  Post another video and enjoy your Friday.  

dayokanu:
He might be right, Ikoko can be fox, Wolf or Hyena, I really dont know the animal names

Okay. Good answer.

I use to hear this when I was a kid: "edun ori igi." What animal is that?

OAM4J:
na wa o. egbani e laja! Simple question: can you do a dance?

Instead of you to answer yes or no with reasons, you are talking of banning me.

no worry I go ban myself.

That's not social dancing.  

It's stripper dancing. Very unattractive and unappealing, to say the least.

Don't know why you're getting mad at me when you're asking me if I can dance like a goddamn prostitute.

dayokanu:
Ajanlekoko means Dog is chasing the fox

Someone else gave this definition:  "dog dey chase wolf."

hahahaha.  Who do you think?   

OAM4J:
Isale can u do this dance in the 1st clip?

You must be on drugs.   

I swear I'm gonna start banning you all from this thread.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=590933.msg8084839#msg8084839 date=1302313560]@Isale, Ajanlekoko is an Iwarefa (Kingmaker). . .

Bi awo ba ri awo, awo a gbe awo ni'gbowo, ki awo ma ba te.  [/quote]Kilode?!, you rock!  I figured the guy was cooler than cool.  It was naijababe saying he didn't pass muster.  I'd really appreciate it if she scrams, along with her pet monkey PhysicsDUD. 

E se o jere.  Kini itumo Ajanlekoko?     Se omo eko ni abi ara oke like Dayokanu, or ara oko like naijababe? 

Gemini Characteristics and Profile
(May 21 - June 20)

Gemini go everywhere together, hand-in-hand, symbolizing your dual nature. Our world comes in pairs: good and evil, male and female, in and out, yin and yang -- and you Geminis are living proof. Some might say Gemini are an entanglement of paradoxes, but the truth is that Gemini have an easy acceptance of opposites. Gemini world is one of duality. Gemini can like this and that, one thing and its opposite. It's like you see your world through a radio and Gemini can tune experiences and points of view in and out as your interests change.

You Geminis are curious, talkative, versatile and mentally active. Your mind can bounce around from one topic to another with great ease, making Gemini the champion of cocktail party chatter and lighthearted social encounters. Others will think that Gemini are fun to be with, but your ability to change with the changing winds can also lead others to see Gemini as shallow.

Gemini motto might be "A rolling stone gathers no moss." You are the eternally youthful child, no matter your chronological age. A razor-sharp wit can have you verbally dueling with the very best of opponents, who moments later are your best of friends. As you fly through life, don't forget to take time to smell the flowers.

Full profile here: http://horoscopes.mydaily.com/astrology/gemini/about/

Taurus Characteristics and Profile

(April 20 - May 20)

Taurus isn't necessarily like a Bull in a ring with a toreador. You could be more like peace-loving Ferdinand, seeking the gentle meadows filled with flowers, sunshine and natural beauty. It's only Taurus stubbornness that can make you angry enough to charge at someone who is disturbing your peace.

Taurus are noted for your determination. You get to where you are going, not because you are exceptionally fast or clever, but because Taurus will not be distracted from your goals. Your need for stability and simplicity can motivate Taurus to create a life for yourself that is quite functional, though it might seem boring to someone else. But Taurus aren't interested in taking unnecessary risks that can put your solid footing in jeopardy.

Taurus motto might be "Take care of the senses and everything else will take care of itself." It may be that your attraction to material things is less about the objects themselves than it is about the pleasure they bring to your senses. Comfortable living and working space is important to Taurus, along with nice linens, clothing, food and music. And, as one of the most practical signs, Taurus outlook on life is usually quite sensible. As Taurus plod along in life, getting what you need in order to survive, don't forget to look at the beauty that is beyond the material world of material possessions.

Full profile here: http://horoscopes.mydaily.com/astrology/taurus/about/

naijababe:
can be disastrous if u get caught, it's hard to suck up and listen if you dont to want, suggest u make up an excuse (that will not work all the time sha)

Say that again, but in English this time.  Or in Egun.  Whatever.

btw, Dapo/Eku/Ekt-Bear, you couldn't get a better adviser on this subject.  You might want to talk to her on the phone though so she can make it clear. 

OAM4J:
Isale gan and new location

How are you my people? and how una dey enjoy this new location? I can see we have new neighbors already.

Yeah.  Got moved.  It's all good. 

Ajanlekoko welcome to the club. this is one of the best thread you can be part of. . . everything goes 

So you know this dude.  hmmm.  Seems okay, then, not so, then okay again.  He's on probation sha. 

Enjoy una weekend!

http://www.youtube.com//v/dr3RzfNq2Ws

I don't like R. Kelly.  Post something else. 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-13021093

[i]8 April 2011 Last updated at 15:20 ET
Nigeria elections: Blast hits Suleja office
BBC News

An explosion has hit the office of Nigeria's election commission in the central town of Suleja, hours before polls are due to open for parliamentary elections.

Officials said it appeared to be a bomb blast.

There is no word on casualties, but a BBC reporter in Abuja says it is likely many people were in the office, preparing for voting on Saturday.

Voting was supposed to begin last weekend but was delayed.

"There were casualties," said Yushau Shuaib, spokesman for the National Emergency Management Agency. "I cannot confirm the number."

Voting had already begun last Saturday, and millions were queueing, when it was discovered that ballot papers were missing in some parts of the country.

The vote has been [/i]postponed again in those areas, because it was not possible to replace ballot papers in time.