₦airaland Forum

OAM4J:
Very true brother! Someone said that God rested after creating Adam on the seventh day, but He has not been able to rest since the creation of woman.

So wrong but quite 

Is it also true that woman means woe-man, i.e woe of man?

Definitely not funny.  Have been hearing that since time immemorial.  pfft! 

Ok let me concentrate on you: Isale, what do you want today?

Told ya already.  I know what I want.  ALWAYS!  (I don't always know how to get it, of course; But no one's perfect.)  To be divulged on a need-to-know basis.  No confusion.  lol

Prolly I will even be able to buy spiritual security and a space in heaven with their bought prayers

Dude, No!

AjanleKoko:
Adam actually got the entire human race into trouble trying to do what Eve thought she wanted. Learn from that, bro

So you follow tradition by choosing a mate who does not know what she wants?  And then you both proceed to make choices for which you then turn around and blame her.  mm hmm!

BTW, I decided to check out our new (thread) home, travel section, and noticed you have a thread dedicated to you, for sage advice.  So, you're like the big man on campus or something?

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-487183.0.html

OAM4J:
What men need is so straightforward and easy to understand. It is the the reason why men kept falling for the same thing Adam fell for and years to come men will still want the same thing and make the same mistake his great grand father, grand father and father made.

But Women?  I dunno and nobody knows.

Agreed! that is why it is complex. One answer/solution doesn't fit all and the answer/solution for one woman today would not be true for the same woman tomorrow.

Well, as simple as you all claim to be, you're complicating this for yourself.  Why do you need to know what WOMEN want?  You plan to be united with multiple women?    Pick one at a time and understand her.  If you can't understand her, then address that.  Don't fret about the needs of womanfolk.  Unless you're a player, then do carry on with your bad self.

In the future, I want to make more money 

Fine and dandy.  What does that have to do with this: "Some Pastors, Imams and Babalawos can even be bought with money."

"Your agro dey cash me"

DK,
What are you on about?  I think there's a typo somewhere.
Anyway, I sense you've recently undergone sensitivity training.  Therefore, I will give you another chance, which I will regret.  As usual.

OAM4J:
Because there is no one straight forward answer, so it is complex. Some don't even have an idea of what they want, and some what they want yesterday is different from what they want today and will be different from what what they'll want tomorrow

We have complexity and simplicity all in a jumble here.

So, am I to understand (1) that men know what other men want, and are united in the response (2) that what men want is money?   

OAM4J, is this why you think women are complex?  You expect any woman to be able answer this vague question, "what do women want?"

I really didn't expect you to be able able to answer for all men.  Mine was a rhetorical question where i expected you to concur that you have not a clue what other men want but you are confident in your wants and needs. LOL

Anyway, I reiterate that I know what I want, every day, every season.  Always have, always will.  The specifics (of those wants) are revealed only on a need-to-know basis.   

Now, all you have to do is pose the question to 3 billion more women.

To simplify somewhat, maybe just accept that each person (woman) is an individual with unique life experiences, moods, hopes and wants.  That is what I do - with everyone, male or female. 

OAM4J:
With money, 99% of men's tangible needs are met.

With money comes luxury, fun, women, power, cars, holidays etc, etc. Some Pastors, Imams and Babalawos can even be bought with money.

Even the Bible says money answereth ALL things.

What are you planning to do in the future, OAM4J unpronounceable name?! 

AjanleKoko:

Maybe he's just being himself, but you think his xteristics are moods and idiosyncracies , considering that you're a woman, and as such assume that everybody's got moods.

   

Men's moods:'I'm hungry/thirsty', 'I want some ', 'Dang! Arsenal lost again, that sucks!', 'Please scram, I'm watching the game, and don't want to talk about your hair, '. Along those lines sha

Women's Moods:   

  Teacher Teacher Will you teach me? 

Money is it.

I think what men really want is money. Definitely not sex, maybe more sex than normal , which of course comes with having money.

I can't even say power, cos not too many men like responsibility. Responsibility usually comes with power. Women seem to do better with the responsibility thang.

Most men just use power to get money jare.

Thanks for clarifying - for once since I've known you, btw!  I'm still unsure that you can so confidently speak for all men. I imagine there is a struggle between the desire for power, money and physical and emotional satisfaction in all humans.

dayokanu:
why do you want to stay away when the love still suppose dey shack una.

Who asked you?  What do you know about l-o-v-e?  pfft!
When he needs advice about how to run his wife off, he'll holla at ya.

this will be a new marriage, as she may need someone. . .

This is not necessary.  All women are not faithless.  Enough of this disrespect to the man and his family, please.

I don't know why seemingly normal people even bother to bring their problems to a place like this.  

I rest my case. 

You can be the water, if you wanna. Do you wanna? I mean, be the water. It puts out flames and is soothing.

Who's the serial heartbreaker (in your location) that's got you crabby? Enquiring minds still want to know. Pretty please!

RIP.  His troubles are over.

Sagamite:
Good riddance to bad rubbish!

Let him rot whereever he is!

Useless cretinous soul!

Sagamite:
Thank you!

May the cretin rot in hell and be deputy chairman (behind Abasha) of the welcoming party for Osama Dustbin La-dim!

Oh my!  Who is this NEW Sagamite?  He's lost the plot.  What in the world happened?  The Election? The banning? Anyway, don't kill the messenger.  Be  

Whatever!  I won't answer which is water and which is like a raging fire consuming all that comes near her. hahahaha.

But I only said water or fire cos I was trying to juxtapose opposites!  Get it?!

I could have picked any number of nouns: bread or milk; mr.cork or katsumoto; sun or moon; naijababe or isalegangan; coke or fanta; doctor or lawyer; taiwo or kehinde; NIGHT or DAY!!!  pfft! 

naijababe:
@ OAMJ, this your story na something else 

The answer to your question is none of the above. Why would I (the woman) even wanna be a witch at any time . Life's hard enough being a beautiful maiden  .

What do i want? I haven't the foggiest idea. The simplest answer I can think of is for a man to make an effort to know enough about me to know  my moods and idiosyncrasies. I can't possibly want the same things all the time, afterall a very wise man once said 'man shall not live by bread alone'.

Yeah!  We're alike alright.  Like water and fire. 

We = naijababe and IsaleGangan (visionary souls)
We = all women

OAM4J:
Yeah! thought as much. Complex!

I wanted to ask you, what is complex about my answer that, "I only know what I, Isale, wants and do not know what other women want since we are not a monolith"?

If you were asked, "What do men want," what would your answer be?  And don't give me a simple response like, "men want sex and women are the way to get it." lol.  Or maybe you all are that simple. 

youngestpr:
Hello nairalanders, I need your contributions as regards this piece.
I am a young graduate who is just about to complete his NYSC (National Youth Service) programme. I am serving in lagos state and Planning to get married at the completion of the programme. I have been able to secure a job in which i will continue after the NYSC programme. The issue is that i have been thinking of how to settle down when i get married. . . .

youngestpr:
Thanks all for your comments and advice, i think i have been able to pick one or two things.
,  . . Once again, thanks all for your comments and more are still welcome.

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!

Congratulations on already securing a job before the end of your youth corp service!!

It's always wonderful when the family unit can be together because the time apart can never be regained.  So, I'm going to end with Best all around wishes for a great life, and good luck on whatever decision you make about where to reside. 

P.S.  BTW, I was born and raised in Lagos and will return there and raise my kids there.  (All my family going back generations are there, or lived there, so. . . )  It's understandable if you don't choose to do that.

OAM4J:
Yeah! thought as much. Complex!

A friend told me of his visit to a woman some years ago in her lovely home at Ikeja G.R.A. After some time he had to make use of the restroom, he got there and was quite impressed with what he saw, very NICE! He picked up a book in her restroom titled 'ALL that men know about women'. To his surprise, all the pages were blank!

Do you get the joke?

Yes, I get it.  And all I can say is, SORRY.  From the bottom of my heart.  lol 

You know, it's good at least you're sensitive enough to be perturbed by it.  Some people don't care at all.  It's all in line with being introspective and analytical about yourself and the world around you.  Often, you don't get a definitive answer, but you enjoy the journey.

It's funny that so much time was spent on this topic.  And it's too bad it's gotten so contentious.  

If you think about the fact that one of the first things girls (and women) of all ages do, when they have a crush or think they've fallen in love wth a guy, is to write our names and his together in different combinations.  When I was 14, 19, and just 2 months ago.  Okay, I lied about the 2 months ago.  But definitely 5 years ago. lol

And then at some point in time, people get practical and decide for whatever reason that the shared name doesn't work for them.  It's their choice.  Nothing's gonna change that.  Better not to see it as as demonstrative of a lack of love or respect.  

OAM4J:
^Interesting!

But 1st, do you agree with the witch's answer on what a woman really wants?

The answer that: 'What a woman really wants?' =  'Is to be in charge of her own life.' ?

I can't answer what all women want.  And I don't know why that question gets asked as if women are any different from men or that they are a monolithic group.  How do I know what Rita or Lisa or Kemi or Yetunde wants.  The question is one of those oft-repeated phrases from the reaction to the womens movement, I think.

I only know what I want.  Does that include, being allowed to make my own decisions and be in charge of my own life?  Well, no one's tried to stop me yet, so. . .    But it's not written in stone.  Sometimes you have to compromise when other lives are involved.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=590933.msg8259781#msg8259781 date=1304534547]^--Even the "noble" Kilode?! HAD that sentiment because his mind was once stuck in a period when dark skin was the real ish and an overly-light skin tone was considered sickly, weak and unattractive.

Kilode?! is now liberated (hopefully)

Hopefully Caucasians will break free one day, Not sure about white-struck Black Africans, doubtful those Indian-Mongolians ever will. Willing/unwilling victims are the hardest to save.[/quote]

All's well that ends well.  I bet you're excited ManUtd are meeting Barca again in Champions League final.

OAM4J:
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

(If you are a man reading this, ) What would YOUR choice be?

(If you are a woman reading this) What should YOUR MAN'S choice be?

Interesting.  I took it too literally, that a choice had to be made.  I guess the solution reinforces the idea that you should remember to think outside the box.  He made the right choice by turning it around on her sha.  I was stumped on what to choose.  You would definitely want a beautiful woman to accompany you places during the day. . . and you also would want that in private, so I couldn't decide o jare.  If it comes down to it, you could always have a different hostess during the day while your wife is the "old witch" who is around to give you sage advice, and be beautiful in private/night.  Or, have the beautiful wife during the day and in the evening time. . . surely nobles have numerous "companions" regardless of the wife.  'Nuff said.  I can't be more specific than that.  Sorry.   

Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time. Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Slick.  Player Player.    Heavens deliver us saintly maidens from the players in sheep's clothing.  

The moral is,

1) There is a witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!

2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.


So, always remember:


IT'S EITHER 'HER WAY' OR IT'S 'NO WAY'.

LOL at the juxtaposition of "beautiful woman" and "ugly moments."

"A witch in every woman," huh?  I don't agree.  Ultimately, it's good to have open communication and trust in relationship, so each person can get (close to) what each wants.  I think the greatest non-physical gift you can give to someone is your trust.  Once the trust is gone, there's nothing left.  So, the "witch" relented and Lancelot also got his way, once he "trusted" her to decide. 

Very informative.  Molefi Asante was someone you heard a lot of in years past.  I understand he had his heydey in the 70s and 80s.  Realy a traiblazer.  This guy is awesome.

Thanks for posting.

cap28:
Horus thanks for posting this very informative lecture by Dr Molefi Asante. Again further confirmation from one of the most astute intellectuals in america on the insidious intentions of britain, france and america towards africa.

Hey, Cap.  How do you compare him with another famous professor of African history, Henry Gates of Harvard?  I actually like him as well, but he doesn't have the "take no prisoners" delivery of Dr. Asante.  Also, from what I've seen of the two men, Gates tend to focus a lot on the sociology/anthropological aspect, while Dr. Asante teaches from a political scientist point of view.

Also, the fact that you don't see people like him in mainstream media just brings home the fact that we have to be vigilant about getting our news from other sources.

Finally, off the top of your head, does any well-known British Black fit the mould of a Dr. Asante?

Genius100:
Every time I come here, I'm extremely disgusted by how you allow bigots to flourish on Nairaland. You do not seem to know the importance of a good brand. The Nairaland brand as it stands, has a terrible reputation as being full of bigots. Yet, you continue to watch in silence. Are you really that naive?

. . . not allowing you to see the potential of your website if you eliminated bigots. Your forum rules are a complete joke. One would expect the Administrator of the most popular Nigerian forum to benchmark other sites and apply best practices. You know you have a problem with ethnic bigots, yet there is no rule against "ethnic baiting" in your forum rules. . . .

How dare you, sir?  Bite that tongue of yours!  You want the "ethnic bigots" dispersed all over the interweb instead of congregated here we can keep them away from impressionable teenagers and respectable folk?    Anyway, I don't know why you're getting your knickers in a twist.  At the moment, they're almost all united in their renewed and rejuvenated religious bigotry against Northerners and Muslims.  Once they accept the results of the recent elections, and their Osamagasm has subsided they'll return to casting aspersions on their Igboid and Yoruba brethren.  Normalcy at last!  You just don't know how to have fun, sir.  I think you're the odd one out here.  Please, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. 

AjanleKoko:
Dem just okay jare. I can understand the afro chicks complaining, but . . . Indian chicks?

Dude, I am not close friends with Indians, yet, even I know they are extremely color conscious.  When you were a barefooted soft-mango-eating snot-nosed naija boy watching those Indian movies, didn't you think all the men and women in India were as light-skinned as Rekha and the Kapoors?    

Listen up Brother, Indians are over-the-top color-prejudiced.  Ya better recognise!  

Seriously though, I feel 'em. Quite dark myself, in fact I was nicknamed 'Esu Laalu' at some point in my high school days

Is your name Shittu or Shitta-Bey (forgotten which) by any chance?  No joke. Went to school with such a boy. He was actually one of the smartest and most handsome boys, so all these obsession with skin tone is absurd. 

OAM4J:
yes, there is a degree of blackness/shade-ism that is evil

  A shared joke only the brothers understand?  hmmm. 

::scared smiley::  Like moth to a flame.  I'm going to regret this. 


hmmm.  Fine. You?

Mascherano's a worm. But he may have a real grievance there. Still a worm though. One of the ugliest personalities in football.

And, Adebayor takes down Messi. Got a yellow for his effort.

Less than 5 mins for RM to score 2, or is it 3, goals. Whatever. Not gonna happen. They're not the Turkey national team, for Pete's sake.

Great play there. Breakaway from the Madrid end, RM's DiMaria hit the post, then Marcello scored on rebound. More goals needed, so he didnt even celebrate; just picked up the ball and ran with it.

Barca 1 - 1 RM

2nd leg of Champs League Semifinal with Barcelona - Real Madrid.

After first half, scores remain 0 - 0.  RM are proper screwed.

Good luck finding an English Stream: (edited)

Live blog:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/may/03/barcelona-real-madrid-champions-league

[img]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQehzB5bdXKNfjNSVYUtiKks3Ys6V6lXseZCmqDmRuApLtN3XXMWg[/img]

Princek12:
To address your concern, let's look at scenario 1, where an Ibo woman whose surname is hyphenated marries a Yoruba man whose surname is also hyphenated.
[size=14pt]
Okonkwo-Okajifor-Fashola-Akeredolu[/size]

While the above is made for laughs, such a union - intertribal - is actually just the sort that screams out for the hyphenated surname.  You can miss out and get passed up for success if you are perceived to be something you are not.  Let's face it, some people are still prejudiced about that.  For example, if you reside and do business in Lagos, and you are a Yoruba woman from an "old" Lagos family, you are not going to use only your Igbo husband's last name, and get treated like an interloper, because someone thinks you haven't paid your dues.  I know of such a couple, and I don't think the husband cries over it.  If he did, I'm sure he got over it real quick.  I mean, let's start getting real!  Some things are a no-brainer.  People may have valid reasons for doing things.  It's not always black or white.  Similarly, an Anglo co-worker in the U.S. married a Mexican.  You think she changed her name?  The hubby didnt care.  To him, a green card was more important than having his wife answer to "Perez."

That is what worked for them.  It wouldn't necessarily be my choice.

Obviously it's a matter of preference, and a decision to be made together before the wedding.

Personally, I would not want a different surname from my children, if I am so blessed.  Therefore, taking HIS name or at the least, hyphenating my name, would be the way to go.  It's all about the bambinos.  

An interesting article addressing the issue of religious restrictions(?) on music.

Music and Islam: Wind, Strings and Fear of A Black Planet
by Brother Dash

One of the most controversial and argument provoking issues amongst Muslims today is the issue of Music and Islam.  Muslims living in historically Non-Muslim societies, such as the United States, Canada and England, are identifying more and more with their unique cultural contexts.  These Muslims are engaging with certain aspects of culture that can at times conflict with the understandings of Islam and Culture by other Muslims in the same and certainly outside of the same society.  One of these conflicts relates to the very permissibility of music in Islam.  In the often emotionally charged atmosphere over the “halal/haram” of music in Islam a clear definition of this word “Music” is rarely articulated.  Before we delve into the details of the title of this article let us try to have an understanding if not definition of Music.

Full article here: http://brotherdash.com/?p=123

A new word, Shade-ism. 

I don't know why people get so worked up over nothing.  So much self-esteem issues.  Just love yourself.  No one is better than you, eff them!  Anyway, lots of pretty girls in the video,  Shadeism or no shadeism.

http://vimeo.com/16210769

MyJoe:
I'd love to kiss you, but since you are not female, here is a bottle of beer

Yeah.  Get him drunk so you can(not) kiss him. 

Most are now inclined to disbelieve CNN. They're so irrelevant lately. And becoming more susceptible to the fake news that FoxNews is great at. Their credibility has suffered.

Hotie Tima:
many people in the USA may be happy for the death of osama ben laden. but at the end of the day not everyone is happy about this in Pakistani.

what i want to know how will this effect those that are hurt about it?
how will the Pakistani people handle this?


i am a Muslim my self i personally never like mr OSAMA BIN LADEN. the only thing that i am worrying about now is the innocent souls that will be effect about this.

in my believe if the dead of OSAMA BEN LADEN was in the hands off his own people then it was going to be that much of a bigger deal.

but having the usa people partying out about the dead of OSAMA what will happen at the end of the day.

another war is about to start for no reason or do the Pakistani people have the right to start war now.

why can't obama look at the look run of this issue. is he even thinking about his people.
what will happen to his people at the end of the day.

the usa people need to stop partying about this and open they eyes about what is about the hit them.

The answer is NO, it is not permitted for a muslim woman to marry a non-muslim you. 

Don't despair though.  I'm sure there are plenty of women of your faith who need husbands.  Don't cheat them out of having you as a life partner.