₦airaland Forum

Katsumoto:
Ki lon se awon people yi? Ta len fi ren rin?

I'm not laughing at you, o jare. I just need to deflect attention from myself to a true blueblood ajebutter!

'Tis your turn.

I bet Katsumoto will come here and tell us about his hard luck stories too.  SMH.  

Talk about princely lifestyle.  Did you not have valets and butlers that carried you from front door to sitting room while you were growing up?  And from your front door to your chauffeured bentley?   I can picture it now.  

dayokanu:
One day I went to visit my aunt who had a color TV and remote control. I didnt know what a remote was. So the housegirl was messing with us and changing the channels at will.

The girl sabi lie. I told her the Nigerian team that played USSR in Canada 87 and mentioned one Baba Jubril and she immediately said the boy is the son of Jubril Aminu!!!

24yrs after I still view her as a liar.

See ara-oke proper.  

Sis, I still dey compose my epistle o.  But I will chop it down real good to take out all the human suffering.    I will post tomorrow sometime.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=590933.msg7981206#msg7981206 date=1301016628]Daaamn! excuse me! O ga o! Your Ajebuta level is strastopheric, are you related to the Da Rochas?[/quote]hahahaha.  You have to read between the lines.  It was our pocket money we take to the store and buy what we want.  You think I trust my crazy sis to not eat all the butter?  Okay, I was just kidding.  I will concede a little bit of well-to-do-ness but definitely not "ajebutter."  Definitely not!  I hate ajebutter kids!  Always wanting to speak English and stuff!  Like they can speak it better than other people.  Who the hell grows up with Yoruba parents and they all walk around talking Oyinbo in their home!  I always hated that!

Compare your story to Fstranger's, then imagine my "Okokomaiko" childhood. You owe the world a lot.

FStranger embellishes. He admitted outright falsehoods.  Anyway, I don't want his trouble o.  I'm sure he only ate garri and sand most of the time.  

But I am glad for the experience. Trust me, one thing I wouldn't blow my hard-earned money on, is sending my kids to some high-faluting prep school. That crap is eating through people's checkbook like you wouldn't believe.

Seriously I went to regular schools. And I actually liked my primary school. Once I beat the living daylights out of a bully, everything was copacetic! My secondary school was fine, despite some unbelievably outrageously crappy things.

[quote author=Kilode?! link=topic=590933.msg7981146#msg7981146 date=1301014556]@naijababe, Isale cannot deny she grew up as an extreme Ajebuta. . . Planta on Yam, Nasco inside school bag. . .probably went to Aunty Ayo prep or Home Science School on the Island [/quote]Planta?  Was that the margarine or the butter?  I hated margarine.  Yuck!  Yeah,  We bought our butter from UTC or Leventis, where we also got those addicting England comics with the cute girlie stories (not the violent marvel or DC comic ones from America - except Little Lotta or Richie Rich).  hehehehe. Sometimes, each of the girls would have her own butter. Cos you know, butter is so awesome.  

naijababe:
^ Abi o when some of us went to Jakande school for Papa Ashafa  

But I went to the worst schools, mehn!  The closest muslim primary school within walking distance.  And, I could vomit thinking about my secondary school.  

Okay, sis. I dey compose am. Get ready to shed tears o.

naijababe:
Now that's just wicked, after i don carry water wash sleep comot fr my face eh? God dey

Bwahahahahahahahahahehehehehhohohohohoho.  lol.

Psyched!!!

. . . i see you missed the one on Isale's ajebosness

Sounds like a mixture of ajebutter and amebo. 

Anyway, I ain't no ajebutter and I sure wasn't privileged. Far from it.  That little tv was. . .  stolen!  Yup, that's right.  We were outlaws! 

O ya, Kilode.  Tell us a story about "the one that got away."  

I will tell about the nice Ibo boy next door.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=624742.msg7930999#msg7930999 (Long Lost Love/ The One That Got Away)

hahahaha. I changed my mind. It's my prerogative.

naijababe:
^ I've always said that the 80s were the best. Great TV shows, correct music and most people were still sane. Now, it takes a degree of madness to survive naija 

What to blame it on?  Internet?  Copy-copy of things our people don't fully understand?  Each generation says that about the one after them.

Edited to Add: If you haven't already gone to bed, naijababe, i feel one more story about my dad and the boy next door i had a huge crush on coming up.  Let me just wipe the tears so I can see clearly enough to type. 

fstranger3:
YOu could do that then?

You must have come from a rich family.

We no even get TV then, na so we go dey watch am for neighbor house lalale Sunday on their Whte and Black . Omo, iya je mi mehn, no be small thing. Now, I no  even get time to watch TV sef. Levels don change mehn!

Somebody needs a hug. Oya, naijababe, that's your role.  

naijababe:
^ So you  be softy after all!

Oh, I was tough, but that was more of a defensive thing.  Either way, that stuff didn't fly at my house. In fact, the only time I remember my dad ever caning me, was when he saw me about to get into a fight with some kid across the street - I think the brat was gonna beat up my mouthy and rebellious witch of a sister.  One Two Three flog to the hand.  Gadammit dad!  In front of the whole damn street?!  Damn!  

But I was a good kid.  No worries.  

There was a time B.C.O.S would air Indian movies on Saturday nights, my dad would just decide to spoil show and order us to bed. Of course we'd go to bed and return 20 mins later and one of us would be on standby remote control duty, if a fly so much buzzes, the TV is switched off from the remote and we'd all be as quiet as mice until the coast is clear

That's funny.  The one form of entertainment my dad never scoffed about were the Indian movies we loved to watch.   Did you know they never even kissed in those movies?  Just a lot of lovey-dovey staring and singing and dancing and beautiful costumes!  Often the bad man would make trouble for the good guy, who would do this unrealistic and gravity-defying stunts.   Good times!  

naijababe:
Now you gone all Americana on me, werin be the bolded?

It means whatever you want it to mean. I think it just means "relaxed" or whatnot.

Your thing?  . . . . . . . watch this space 

I will give another story about my dad interfering, and almost ruining my life, shortly.

naijababe:
^ How could I forget Ajan? My dad banned us from watching the rest of the series after my kid brother memorised all Ajan and Abija incantations. The old man no sabi say VCR dey record even when the TV is on standby  . So we'd put the TV on standby and record and watch on Monday afternoon, great times  

hahahahaha.  My dad ALWAYS loved to spoil our good times.  I remember him walking in to our sitting room one night and he saw me and my sisters mesmerised by the tv watching an American oyinbo tv-movie, right where the woman was telling her boyfriend/husband that she was going to get freaky with her boss so they could have money.    We were too young to get what was really going on.  We barely understood the mumbling American accent.  My dad turns off the tv and tells us all to go to bed.  Of course, my rebellious sister decides, Hell, no!  We go to our room but she decides to turn on the little tv in the bedroom.  I never watched a tv in fear for my life before.  

naijababe:
^ In  fact the dance hard pass bata and TBH I'm not sure I have a clue what's going on either  
The embellishing bit is not no go sweet, the suitor part na hin be di juicy gist  . All kids including the big one are in bed and still rocking Da granite City.  No worries, unlagbajaing people is not your thing and I know that  

What's my thing, sis?  Please do tell.  I am loosy-goosey and welcome all comments.  

naijababe:
@ Isale, dont even think for second that I didnt see your sub o, awon abi tani suitor(s) yi o ?

I was being facetious, o jare.  Something that's been said ad nauseam, without a shred of truth to it. 

You didn't ask about the embellishing my stories part.  That one ain't true either.  I actually hold back. 

P.S.
Hey, btw, how was your day today? Still in Scots right? The kids in bed? Time for you to unwind or knock sense into NLers, whichever takes your fancy.

FYI, I'm not trying to draw you out o. I actually have no interest in uncovering anyone's identity.

I really don't have a clue what's going on here. I'm just going to hug the sidelines and watch naijababe and FStranger do their dance.

BTW, Stranger, are you grouchy or mellow?

DayoK, I'm still waiting for an apology and for you to do the right thing as per the posts I previously made to you. Last chance!

naijababe:
Stories and people plenty o jare. My favourite NLder back in the day was Akolawole, I think he got tired of the imbeciles and now only ever posts in the sports section, prolific poster and mad Chelsea supporter  . There were the wonder bank days (when the Seftegs et all came to NL to market their scams and of course the Papermoon incident when one eejit got the bright idea to fake her own death, subjecting folks to needless grief. I'm one of the stay at the sidelines and observe mostly NLders until recently. Those days were Seun's dictatorial days, people got banned just for breathing

Purrfect Purrfect.  

I can see me in the Sports Section, enjoying my football and minding my own business, when I've run out of things to say, stories to embellish, suitors to corral. Who said that?!

naijababe:
As for my confession, consider it a brownie or maybe not since stranger is getting himself all twisted over it. I know kilode?! will never let drop like that, dude's James Bond 

I never really looked at your profile before until now.  So, you've been a member since 2006?  Defintely long-timer.  Some NL stories would be nice right about now.  Feel free to make something up. 

naijababe:
I found out the reason the Irish use the word eejit on NL.

I see not much is going on aside from stranger still trying to unmask Kilode?!

I feel like confessing now since kilode?! reckons we are all Lagbajas on NL. So here goes the unmasking of naijababe

My name is Temi Boye, I'm married with two kids (DK get of my back pls) and a deist in real life. Used to be a Ninja back in the day, then I became a bible thumper in the nineties, now I'm a self confessed deist. Don't really feel like i need to worship anything but if the bug bites me in the future, I'll consider Ifa or Osun.

What brought this on? All the confessing? Because you're afraid FStranger might be close on your identity. I hope you know Kilode?! would never let it drop like that. SMH at your loose lips.

naijababe:
On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being king 'o' crap, that's like 0.5 by NL standards

Awww, sis. I'm duly chastened. So, a confession by a scareddy-cat potential fraudster/yahooyahoo/lovepeddler/cheating girlfriend doesn't make your jaw drop? Well, the age of cynicism. What thine eyes must have seen on NL before I happened upon ye. SMH

I would like to hear Mr 50k side of this story.  

And, to answer your request for help on what to do, I can't tell you that.  It is obvious you deliberately defrauded him, and you are now scared he might come on here and start a thread about you being a SCAMMER, kinda like this thread, right?:
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-629321.0.html

He's made it clear to you he doesn't want the money back, so enjoy it.

"Mugabe Offers Gaddaffi Asylum."

Bloody Quitter! He should be offering him ammunition and manpower. Asylum koo, alum nii.

I love Nairaland sooooo much right now.  I frikkin love it!  Where else will you see crap like this?!  Post of the week, y'all. 

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-630785.0.html

Odunnu:
I need help as to how to solve the shyt I walked into.
I met a guy online- yes, a NLndr [/b]when I opened a thread last year asking for help on how to go about my project work in school. I put up my email for another NLndr and he got it b4 I pulled it down and then we arent on the same course of study so he didnt even help me in the project work but we startd talking.
I'v always respectd ths NLndr and even though he's not a regular poster, we stil get to catch up online.
In January, he told me he would be going to his town and would pass thru Enugu from Lag where he stays and [b]we both agreed to meet. Prior to this he never askd me any personal questions but when I met him at the airport [/b]and [b]drove him to the park where he'l take his bus to the village,he asked me if I was married(I had a ring on my finger) I told him No but also stressed [size=14pt]I was in a very serious relationship then[/size]. He gave me his card and that was it. We went back to our normal online talk but now[b] we even started gisting on the phone[/b].
My wahala started late february when he asked me to come visit him in Lagos for the weekend. I told him I couldnt and he asked me why, I gave him every reason I could think of -too much work, no time, i've never been to Lag, dont know or have anybody in Lag, its not in my budget etc,he always had an answer for all my excuses and he asked me to send my a/c number so he'l send money for my trip, I honestly thought he wont send it [b]so I sent my a/c number and he deposited 50K [/b]and askd me to also get a return ticket with it. I quickly called him and told him I didnt need the money and that I thought he was joking, begged him to take back the money or send his a/c number so I could pay back and he refused!
[b]He says [size=16pt]i'm wicked for playing with his heart,that i'l never find peace, many insults and curses he's rained on me,yet he doesnt want his money back! [/size]I dont want the money either and I dont know what to do.
Please my good people, what do I do? Dnt want to be named a scammer o! The truth is what I just posted here! Wetin I go do, abeg?

Odunnu:
I need help as to how to solve the shyt I walked into.
I met a guy online- yes, a NLndr when I opened a thread last year asking for help on how to go about my project work in school. I put up my email for another NLndr and he got it b4 I pulled it down and then we arent on the same course of study so he didnt even help me in the project work but we startd talking.
I'v always respectd ths NLndr and even though he's not a regular poster, we stil get to catch up online.
In January, he told me he would be going to his town and would pass thru Enugu from Lag where he stays and we both agreed to meet. Prior to this he never askd me any personal questions but when I met him at the airport and drove him to the park where he'l take his bus to the village,he asked me if I was married(I had a ring on my finger) I told him No but also stressed I was in a very serious relationship then. He gave me his card and that was it. We went back to our normal online talk but now we even started gisting on the phone.
My wahala started late february when he asked me to come visit him in Lagos for the weekend. I told him I couldnt and he asked me why, I gave him every reason I could think of -too much work, no time, i've never been to Lag, dont know or have anybody in Lag, its not in my budget etc,he always had an answer for all my excuses and he asked me to send my a/c number so he'l send money for my trip, I honestly thought he wont send it so I sent my a/c number and he deposited 50K and askd me to also get a return ticket with it. I quickly called him and told him I didnt need the money and that I thought he was joking, begged him to take back the money or send his a/c number so I could pay back and he refused!
He says i'm wicked for playing with his heart,that i'l never find peace, many insults and curses he's rained on me,yet he doesnt want his money back! I dont want the money either and I dont know what to do.
Please my good people, what do I do? Dnt want to be named a scammer o! The truth is what I just posted here! Wetin I go do, abeg?

Wow!   

It's not clear why the wife didn't also get capital punishment.  Afterall, being a native of the country, you would expect her to be more familiar with her country's hatred of, and severe penalty for, drug use and drug-trafficking.  Unless she claimed she was not aware she was picking up heroin. 

Anyway, that's a penalty more countries should have on their books.  The only way you can deter it is to put real fear in people's minds.

ilovelagos:
i mean for friendship with both girls or boys.
if you meet a stranger, it is not polite to ask that person's contact information.
so what is the way to do so?

If you feel strongly about it, give them your contact information.  There's not much else you can do with a stranger you see in passing.

Subscribing to this topic. So relevant to my life right now.

angel 200:
INTELLIGENT ADVICE FOR MY GIRLFRIEND PLEASE,THIS IS HER STORY, l meant my boyfriend an igbo boy in 2005,he was new in Europe,and an illegal immigration like me,we were neighbours in the same building,we stated dating,he  lives in the 1st floor why l live in the second floor,l live alone,he was living with a friend,so he is always in my house,he was the only boy l have ever truly loved,3 months into our relationship,he propose marriage to me l accepted,cos l was blind in love,he want a child,l stop taking my pills and that same month i was pregnant,that was when l realised that l am making a big mistake,we both,don't have a job and resident permit,[b]l have a white man,who has been taking care of all my needs since 2002,he is 22 yrs older than me.he paid my house rent and give me monthly allowance,so l don't lack anything,[/b]l told my igbo lover the truth from day 1,he knows everything,what will happen if this man finds out that l am pregnant for sure is not his baby,cos l don't sleep with him without condon.so l decide to terminate the pregnancy,it was my first abortion,,l almost died,l used my girl friend
hospital documents ,and he was born,1976 and l was born 1981,so they actually gave me overdoes,l almost die and then they call my fiance,l lie to him that l  have an oval kest,when he arrive to the hospital ,he finds out the truth,l have no other choice than to tell him what happened,he was angry at first then he said he will forgive me on one condition,l should move in with him,so that will get married.l was confused,but l cant do without this man,if l say no,it is over between us,how will l live,my igbo boyfriend,told me not to worry that god will see us through;l refuse,and so l choice comfort instead of love,l move in with my white man ,who was financially OK,we get married and l have a kid for him,then l was miserable,[b]l don't love him,but l have everything and l don't lack anything,[/b]so in 2008 my ex contacted me,l was more than happy,l will never forget that day,it was as if a dream come true,l took my car and rush to see him,he lives 1h30Min's from me,that was it,we stated dating again,he was still single,he told me he finds it difficult to carry on after our separation,but alot have change,he has his own personal apartment ,a resident permit,and a job.he ask me to divorce my hubby and marry him since l was not happy in my marriage,l need time to think,so will started dating again,this time around,we see twice in a month,it was fun,but the most difficult was the fact that l have to lie to my husband,somethings l spend the weekend with my igbo lover,and my hubby will be alone with our baby,is difficult to lie to an innocent man,who means me no harm,but l don't love him,l am miserable in my marriage,but l cant live him to marry my igbo lover,l love my lifestyle of the rich and l can intend to give all this always for love,so l don't know what to do,since two days now,my igbo boyfriend dont want to talk to me again,his phone is off,he said,l destroy his life,he said he is 35 and single because of me,that l should live him alone
l love this boy,but l am confused,[b]my husband love me so much,he is a good husband and a good father,he has been there for me,he picked me from nowhere,he carried all my burnden,he makes me who l am today,he gave me that life l have always dream o[/b]f,but l don't love him,l tried so hard,will are incompatible,so l am very sad in my married,l love my igbo lover,ever if he has nothing to offer me,l love him,l cant imagine my life without him,l don't know what to do,advice pls,l am too confused

To Poster or his/her girlfriend: Leave the poor Igbo man alone.  You said it several times, you love money and a comfortable life - and you have that with your white citizen husband.  Let the single guy find someone who shares his values.  You have totally disparate views of life.  I mean,  you already aborted his baby!  Just carry on with your life.  Everyone will be happy.