₦airaland Forum

Dat ur english, e get am for very fowerful

i no get pet name for u

Are u Isacc newton' grand uncle?

When u get to see don jazzy, ask him the question?

Field Marshal Saucekid

Na so rumour dey spread

person talk say im look like am, na onoda person go carry the talk go spread

I FEEL YOU BRODA VERY WELL

WE NEED TO CHANGE ALL OF THESE

dunno wats wrong with my YIM. Wlda love to talk to you about a little proposal

Angelina jolie was trying to chat up the handome man (gilgee).

Don't you recognize me? she asked. He shook his head.

I'm quite well known in the movies, she continued.

Oh! he said, his eyes lighting up. Where do you usually sit?

Teacher : you missed school yesterday, didn't you?


Pupil: Not a bit.

Henry,

STart reading from page 1 and u will change ur mind

A large notice in a shop window announced a big sale, with sweeping reductions, starting at 9 a.m. An enormous queue had started to form by 7.30am

Just before the shop was due to open, an inconspicuous little man walked to the head of the queue. Angry women elbowed and pushed him until he was right at the back of the line. Undaunted, the little man went to the head of the queue again.

Once more, he was shoved unceremoniously to the back, this time with a few smacks on the face and a couple of thumps from umbrellas wielded by angry women.

The little man walked to one side of the queue and said: If that's your attitude, I wont open the shop at all today!

The employee stormed angrily into the cashier's office. What's the meaning of this? I just counted my pay and it's a dollar short!

The cashier examined the envelope, then checked his records. Last week we paid you a dollar more. You didn't complain then, did you?

Look said the employee. An occasional mistake I can overlook - but two in a row is too much!

Hey, the tourist said to the mountaineer, Your son just threw a rock at me as I passed by.

Did it hit you?

No.

Then it wasn't my son.

Judge: The last time I saw you, I told you that I didn't want to see you here again.

Accused (Gilgee): That is what I tried to tell these policemen, your Honour, but they would not believe me.

A salesman (gilgee) was dismissed because he was rude to a customer. A month later the sales manager spotted him walking about in a police uniform.

I see you've joined the force, Gilgee said the sales manager.

Yes, Sir. This is the job I've been looking for all my life. Here the customer is always wrong.

Manager - From your references I see you've had four jobs in the last month.

Applicant - Yes, sir, but doesn't that shows how much in demand I am?

The mother of many children lined up her family.

The one who obeys me immediately and does exactly as he's told without arguing will get a rupee at the end of the week.

It's not fair, said the youngest kid, bursting into tears. Daddy'll win easily.

Mother: I sent my little boy for one kilo of plums and you only sent 800 grams.


Grocer: My scales are all right, madam. Have you weighed your little boy?

My father wants me to have everything he did not have when he was a boy.

What didn't he have?

All A's on his report card.

Adoctor was called in to see a rather testy aristocrat.

Well, sir, whats the matter? he asked cheerily.

That, sir, growled the patient, is for you to find out.

I see, said the doctor thought-fully. Well, if you'll excuse me for an hour or so I'll go along and fetch a friend of mine - a veterinarian. He is the only chap I know who can make a diagnosis without asking questions.

What made you marry Daddy, Mummy?

So you're beginning to wonder, too!

. . . cos u've never been there

Doctor: Shall I gave your wife a local anaesthetic?


Businessman: Certainly not. I can afford something imported,

A traveller walking along a road asked an old man working in a field to how long it would take to get to the next village.

But the old man didn't answer, so the traveller kept walking.

He hadn't gone far when he heard a call: Hi, mister, it'll take you about 20 minutes

Why didn't you tell me that when I asked you? asked the traveller.

How did I know how fast you were going to walk? replied the old man.

NFA appoints OBJ as coach of the super eagles based on his experience as a no-nonsense man

to bad, abi?

Godspower Ibrahamovic

charity

good peice of advice

hehehe