₦airaland Forum

horse

Take the whole day and think

he is

heheheheh

LETS GO THERE

archaic

you can name names?

nice

@scorpium

Meshi-onu on ur buccal cavity. Who are whoa to jam the frequency on entities?

since i know the guy, na know he post better tin

A man goes to a busy restaurant and sits down at the only empty table. As he sits down, he accidentally knocks the spoon off the table with his elbow. The waiter immediately takes a spoon from his pocket and places it on the table. The man, impressed by the promptness of the service asks, " do all the waiters carry a spoon in their pockets?"

The waiter answers " We had an efficiency expert evaluate our operation and he determined that 25% of the customers knock the spoon off their tables and that by carrying a spare spoon on us, we save a trip to the kitchen and can be much more efficient."

Later as the customer asked for his bill he remarked to the waiter "Excuse me, but why do you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter answered " that efficiency expert determined that we were spending too much time washing our hands after we went to the bathroom, so the other end of this string is attached to my penis, and when I go to the bathroom, I simply use the string and never having touched myself, I don't need to wash my hands."

The customer asks "then how do you get your penis back in your pants?"

The waiter replies "I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."

One day James Bond, Robin Hood and Rambo were sitting in a pub bragging about how well each of them could shoot. They decided that they should have a small competition to determine who the best marksman was. They grabbed a little guy who was busy listening to the conversation, and made him stand against the wall with an apple on his head.

James was first, he took out his pistol and fired one shot. The apple exploded. He said while blowing in the pistols barrel : " BOND, JAMES BOND."

Robin was next and took out his bow and arrow. He took aim and fired one arrow. The apple flew into the air with the arrow sticking into it. Robin said : " ROBIN. ROBIN HOOD."

Rambo was next and he took out a double barrel shotgun. He aimed and fired. The apple and the little mans face exploded. Rambo said : " SORRY, FUCKING SORRY ."

A sentry was bitten by a valuable dog and promptly shot him.

The owner of the dog sued the sentry.

The cross-examining lawyer said, "Why didn't you hit the dog with the butt end of your rifle ?"

The sentry said, "Why didn't the dog bite me with his tail ?" and won the case.

One for the weekend, a husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly a wasp buzzes into the wife's vagina. Naturally enough, she panics. The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coat on her, pull up his shorts and carries her to the car. Then he makes a mad dash to the doctor.

The doctor, after examining her, says that the wasp is too far in to remove with forceps so he says to the husband that he will have to try and entice it out by putting honey on his dick and withdrawing as soon as he feels the wasp.

And so the honey is smeared, but because of his wife's screaming and his frantic dash to the doctor and the general panic, he just can't rise to the occasion. So the doctor says he'll perform the deed if the husband and wife don't object.

Naturally both agree for fear the wasp will do any damage, so the doctor quickly undresses, smears the honey on and instantly gets an erection, at which time he begins to plug the wife.

Only he doesn't stop and withdraw but continues with vigour. The husband shouts, "What the hell's happening?"

To which the doctor replies, "Change of plan. I'm going to drown the bastard!"

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!", says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a maschino cherry up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"

Old Macdonald had a farm. And on his farm he kept some chickens. One sad day however, his lone stud cockerel died. So Old Macdonald went to the market and asked for the best stud cockerel available.

The man pointed to a proud and healthy cockerel perched on the coop surveying the crowd and sold it to Old Macdonald.

As soon as they got back to the farm, the stud cockerel flew into the hen coop and shagged all the hens. But when he'd done that, he wasn't satisifed.

He flew to the top of the coop and surveyed the farm. He spotted some cows so he flew over and shagged all the cows. He still wasn't satisfied.

Surveying the farm from the top of a cow, he spotted some sheep. So he flew over and shagged all the sheep.

By this time, poor Old Macdonald was getting rather frantic. "If he keeps going like this, he's going to end up dead from exhaustion". So Old Macdonald locked the cockerel up in the barn for the night.

The next morning, he discovered the barn door wide open. In the distance, he saw the stud cockerel lying in a field with vultures circling the inert body.

Grabbing a pail of water and a sponge, Old Macdonald rushed over to the cockerel. As he was desperately trying to revive the poor creature, the cockerel opened one eye and whispered "Go away, go away or they'll never come down!"

There is this ship that goes out to sea and crashes. Six people, 1 woman and 5 men, survive and use a safety raft to float to a deserted island.

After spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely, sexually-deprived lonely. So they come to this agreement: each man will marry the one woman for a week.

So the first man has her for one week, then the second man has her for the second week, and so on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it.

This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week.

Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies!!!! The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week it's getting worse, the fourth week things are just really, really bad, the fifth week it is just awful, it's getting sooooo horrible.

SO, on the sixth week, they bury her.

cast: Men (showbobo, infobaba, scopium, daniluv, gentlefcuk)
Woman (Jazzy)

An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barn yard.

Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.

He walks up to the new bird and says,"So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping lock yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finish's first gets to have all the hens for himself."

Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster."And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start
of half a lap. I'll still win easy," said the young rooster.

So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gathering around to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.

After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster.

By now the farmer has heard all the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barn yard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead.

He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.

As he walks away slowly, he says to himself , "Damn, that's the third GAY rooster I've bought this month."

@princess

u never understand anything, u don dey add sentiments

cool

nice one poster

because of bosom, you don dey triple post

info, you were bitten twice. Mugu

Info,
this is the first wedding you've been invited to. Behave youtself or i'll withdraw the IV

infobaba:
princesa you've been doing window shopping again

princessa is so good at window shopping that she was banned from doing it in her area

now she uses binoculars to do window shopping from her house

na Seun una dey yab like this?

so much medals on Idi amin and nothing to show for it

@Gunny
looks like u were set on a deadline to deliver civilians for execution?

Gabby is ok

she's just cleaning up

nice one equil

i miss kuvuki land

@newdeal

Happy Allandudu. May ur days be as long as methuselah. I still remain dat karid entity dat was transgbamed 16 centuries abacka abakamus.

May u walk and jam wancholistic pepperless allover the galaxy.

You are still the MD of road safety nd you will remain hyper woged.

[size=16pt]YOU ROCK INFOBABA!!!!!

YOU TOOK ME DOWN MEMORY LANE.

MOST OF THE EARLIER REPLIES WOULDNT UNDERSTAND. ALL OF THEM NA YR 2000 AND ABOVE ACHILDREN[/size]