₦airaland Forum

I do patronize those who bear the name "Jazzy"

Talk to my finger

amino-acids

EX- HUSBAND

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.

The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"

"Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

"That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

YOUNG GOLFER

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not wanting to be rude, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree." With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

HAIRY ARMPIT

A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down.

She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"

BEARDED MAN

A married man was visiting his mistress when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she'd kill me!"

"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice.

"Oh, really, I can't," he replies. "My wife loves this beard!" The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in.

That night, James crawls into bed with his wife while she's sleeping.

The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon."

Scopium once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.

2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.

3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.

4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option

After being with her all evening, the man couldn't stand another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone an hour into the evening so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim statement and said, "I have some bad news. My grand- father has just died."

"Thank God," his date said. "If yours hadn't, mine would've had to."

A young businessman was seated next to an elderly priest on an airplane. Having a minor technical problem at the gate and the flight being delayed, the Captain apologized and announced that the airline would be buying a free round of drinks.

When the charming and very attractive flight attendant came by, the businessman ordered a double scotch. Then she asked the priest if he would like a drink. "Oh, no thank you," replied the priest. "I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol."

Halting in mid-swallow and dribbling scotch down his front, the businessman quickly replaced his drink on the beverage cart and replied, "Excuse me, miss, I didn't know I had a choice."

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up.

Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop that!"

The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

carbohydrate

i know u do

!maxell

dats wat keeps u going


@jazzy
Den stop running promos if u cant market well

@Poster

if ur in the prostitute section, then i'm ready to invest in nigeria

i'm just trying to let my man know the odds against PHAT GURL

beans

when i have da dazzling gabby by my side?

NO WAY!!

tomato

emperoh,

dont mind the scum bad called scorpium

if na me doctor

na who be the patient

@romade, showbobo, ohilebo

thanks for watching my back

Dreday,

ur turn go soon come

by that time, me for don commot all obstacles.

so i go dey celebrate instead of contemplating

thanks all

Emperoh:
Identify a muwa ness.

Il y a de

This is XYZ⁴ philomena of Porta-square.

1-time live kongo of waterspheric hemisphere

2-time gyrator of porta porta

Archival SF on my (29 minus 19)tacles

i remain myself, Ituen aka badman of Ilya du porta porta

trans-gbamed, trans-amadi, even tina-turner 1860AD when Chefisis were so much in hotel presidential and Farasee

Any attempt for wancholistic comradoes wit a long tail to jam my frequency, the gods, even in skirt and g-string cannot be raped.


To all nigerians in the galaxy

Hold ur okpekes like-i-does. May the combined honours of Super glue, araldite, infact eagle cement seal the opiotus of ur pepperless.

Any attempt for you to try ur letter "i" into letter "o", May her case be that of 9 Months I.T


I HAVE FIRED TO ALL BANANA LEAF OF "I AM KARID"

Lets pray for princess

@scorpium
Trying to get jazzy's attention, eh?

Sam Milla,

Let remove this outcast

hehehehe

nice

missile

SeanT21:
Please stop filling the space up with these old and ragedy so called Jokes!!!

If u can look for the post, i will be glad