bellong: In every issue, especially this one, there are two sides to a coin. You have told your story but only gave details of the guy's wrong doings but no hints about how and what led to the violence. However, will try to work on the little information you gave here.

There is a saying in geology which is very useful to life, it goes thus "The past is the key to the present." I want to believe you guys courted. If you did, was there any sign of violent behaviour towards you or he was always nice to you? If there was no sign, you will need to try and reminiscence to trace when this violence started and why if he wasn't the violent type. Is his financial situation dwindling or he is getting frustrated from lack of children yet? Is there anyway you have altered or battered his ego to descend so low to resort in using violence to take his pound of flesh? These are the questions you need to ask and check. I do not and will not justify his violent reaction under any circumstances, however, you also need to learn in dwelling with your husband with respect and courtesy. There are times silence is required when he is angry, exchanging words with him at that point will yield no positive or beneficial result.

Now that you are separated for a while, I want to believe he has realised you are important to his life, hence his calling for reconciliation. Firstly, since he called your mum he was no longer interested, he has to show his sincerity and repentance by talking to her about his renewed interest and that he will stop battering you. You two also need to sit down and discuss on the way forward. Let him show and give you assurance that he will no longer resort to violence in resolving problem with you. If possible, let him give you a written agreement on that (though this may not be feasible). Invite both parents (yours and his) to a family meeting in resolving this, he can give his undertaking of turning a new leaf in their presence and am sure, they will also advice him.

After all these are done, you may go back to him (you need to play your part too in letting peace reign in the home). If he reneges on his vow and keeps beating and battering you, my sister, I will advice you stay away from such man before we hear another Arowolo's story.

It is well with your home.

Chaulay1: @jidegirl and baby_123, d OP didn't say dis is her second marriage. I guess her not wanting to commit an error d second time meant going back to him only to continue with an abusive marriage all over again. The OP may wish to clarify incase I am wrong.

jidegirl12: Iyo Aye .... Salt of the earth/world.

Error kę, this is your second marriage?

If you end up six feet under from his error using a baseball bat to crush your head out of anger, would anybody care number of times you're married?

Fi ogbon she oh.... ta ba n sukun a ma n riron oh... emi oh laro oh.
( gosh I miss baba Oyo )

Efemena_xy: Iyo-aye,

Normally, the first few of years of married life between a couple is the sweetest and is usually referred to as an extension of the 'honeymoon period', moreso as there are no kids yet.

Yes, no marriage is plain sailing. It's like a garden that needs to be tended to religiously and meticulously, else weeds will grow and 'choke' the flowers in there. It's easy for me to say communicate and work it out between you two, but I won't say that. Not now at least.

What I would say or rather ask of you, is for you to thoroughly search yourself. How have you conducted yourself thus far? I mean, you've accused him of sleeping outside, implying that his probably having an affair outside. You say he had the 'boldness' to call your mum to complain about his unhappiness about the union. Your husband is not your puppy nor at your beck and call for you to issue out orders or control what he does. Your using the phrase "he even had the boldness to..." shows that you too, lack respect for your man. He is not your lap dog!

What you've painted about the interaction about you both makes one wonder why you got married in the first place as you both are acting really immaturely. Did you not court or date your man before getting hitched? If you did date him, didn't you use that time to study him, his temperament and how how he reacts to certain situations?

Violence in a union is a no-no. He beats you up, sends you packing, then comes back on his knees begging for your return, you return and the cycle starts again? It sounds like you two had no business getting married in the first place and need to grow up fast! Your attitudes towards each other is certainly not a conducive environment to bring up a child.

You two need to sit down like mature responsible adults and discuss your differences. Be open with one another. Let him have his say, his complaints, his moans without you interrupting or shouting him down. Bite your tongue and let him have his say, to let out all that pent up feeling. When he's done, then you too state clearly what's bothering you and do it calmly. No shouting please. You might be surprises at what you find.

If that fails, then take things one step further and seek the advice of an elderly family relative (who's been married too). This relative should be one that you both, both respect and hold in high esteem. I don't know if marriage councellors do exist in naija. If they do, seek the services of one who is independent, calm and whom you both can learn from

Fishout: whatever it may be,u dont need to stoping loving ur partner bt u can put limitation to it

biolabee: It's out

And it's dv 2014

https://www.nairaland.com/1275397/dv-2014-winners-meet-here

adewal15: Eyah, Not happy she left.. How I wish someone Tonto n Stupid (don't mind my English.. Tonto for dictionary means stupid oooo before you misquote me) should've left instead of her:-( R.I.P Sweetie.

gysl1973: @op, you must be very stupid, you wrote this gabbage here and only you still titled it Ritualists/kidnappers, do you need a CIA or FBI that they just common 419ner looking for their daily bread,

the thing even pain me say you no fall for this adam and eve game self, since you no fit differentiate common job men from Ritualists/kidnappers,

ylaa: this is an old story. this method is well known to everybody. even a fool will not fall for this.

Rooneyboy: I dey crase
Kneel for woman
Woman wey dey bend down piss

NEVER !

berem: What the heck is Gastroenteritis? Sure it has to do with the stomach abi?

yuzedo:

Clap for yasef! Good job!
[size=5pt]They should've done the same to[/size] 190!

camcor: [color=#990000][/color]
Correct, are u from ogbomoso?

mallorca:
Do u mean u said dis to ur Husband/man dat pay ur bride price? ur a muderer,No Offence

Becacia_Barbie: Choi!!! Lobatan!

yomibabe: Have u called the number I gave u. they will give you the best price u can tink of.No i haven't,but I will vety soon,tanx a lot.

berem: WHAT A TOTOLICIOUS LADY! She must have put sugar in her thing to attract ants.

goge242: I can teach u beads making and wiring at a low rate. Call 08067066896