₦airaland Forum

or lordy!

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A professor of maths sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife,

You must realize that you are 54 years old,and I
have certain needs which you are no longer able
to satisfy.I am otherwise happy with you as a wife,and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to LEARN that by the time you receive this letter,Ill be at the Grand Hotel with my 18
year old teaching assistant.Ill be home before midnight.

Your Husband.

When he arrives at the hotel,there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,

You,too,are 54 years old and by the time you read
this letter,I will be at the Riverside Hotel with the
18 year old pool boy.Since you are a mathematician,you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.Therefore,dont wait up tonight.

Your Wife.

An eighteen-year-old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for
two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this
to you? I want to know!

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and
distinguished man with gray hair
and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters
the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and
tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.
However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll
take charge.
If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach
villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000
bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.
However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"


At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on
the man's shoulder and tells him,
"You'll f*ck her again!"

a couple one day were sitting quietly on their porche when they suddenly heard a crash next door. curious, they both went to check what happened. when they got there they saw a man sitting down on a chair wearing a turban. they ask him who he is and he explains that he has just been freed. someone threw a stone and knocked a pot down and freed me he said. they look at each other and say so u r a genie. the genie says yes and that he is so happy he will grant them 3 wishes but out of the 3 he will keep one for himself. the couple think for a bit and agree. they wished for a million dollars and he granted it to them. the second wish was to have a mansion and he said it was granted. after their wishes the genie requests to have his way wit the man's wife for his own wish. i havnt had sex for 3000 yrs he saysand besides i have granted u ur 2 wishes and u r now millionaires, the couple think about it again and agree. after having his way he asks the woman, how long have u been married and she said 10 yrs, the genie smiles and asks again, when last did you have sex wit ur husband and she answers. the genie says okay one more question and asks
how long has ur husband believed in this genie shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, "But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"
A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"

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hahahaha nice one

i would absolutely luv to have storm's powers but not her hair , wolverine's healing ability and jean gray's ability to move objects now that can't be too much for me, all Xmen power's are amazing in their way but i think i like these three most of all, i mean storm's power comes in handy when u it's hot and u really want to raise a little wind, wolverine's power when u fall off a building and jean gray when u want an object far away from u, got it? good

wow wot a man!

mystique is not the type of super-power i like very much but,

thiefy theify!

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nice one, it so applies to me, really funny

word man word

that was definately a mob job

oh lordy, that was funny!

hahahaha!!!

eya poor Bob!

oh my gawd!!!!

hahaha

the last joke really made me laugh

oh my gawd!