₦airaland Forum

If you have money, use IVF with donor egg (AA) for conception. But then I think you shouldn't use love to trap each other. There are many fishes in the sea for either of you.

PoliteActivist:
You these low brow NL men, what else do you want her to offer you besides sex and children??

Of course. Like attracts like. You're def a low value man with zero standards.

[Updated - 14/1/26]

Let me just drop this here:

The most important question to ask about a woman you're dating or a woman you're trying to date is: what does she have to offer me apart from sex and children? You can go ahead and ask a woman and give her the chance to opt out easily.

Oh and don't accept answers like communication, genuine love etc. These are not concrete and also not answers like good cooking, better sex, home cleanup etc. These you can get anywhere.

If a woman is a high quality woman, you wouldn't even have to ask these questions.

Using the 80-20 rule, you ought to ask yourself ten questions before you even introduce a woman to your parents. The answers to these should be based on real tests, not just what she says or how she acts now. Because women are professional actresses are, far better at it than men.

You can prioritize any question above the other based on your preferences or replace it entirely with whatever you want. Start from the top and work your way down.

1. Peace: Test her by seeing how she reacts when you get coddly with another woman. Am not saying cheat on her. But probably tell a woman to send you a text that has some endearing words. Do this twice. If she flares up at any time, she's not for you.

2. Respect: Tell her not to disturb you for 5 hours straight while you work or ask her to do something that might seem inconvenient. Test her with both scenarios.

3. Job/real income source: Most ladies nowadays do not have real jobs. They are tailors, makeup artists, or WhatsApp bag sellers. That's not something to build a future on. Ask your woman to draft a business plan and tell you how she's going to spend N500,000 for expansion or to pivot if you gave that to her. If she impresses you with her plan, tell her to go take the first step on her plan. If she does that, there's potential there. If she drags her feet or doesn't move, run.

4. Fidelity: You could create a fake account with a new number and pose as a random rich person that got her number from one of her friends. Then try to establish rapport and send her money to come and meet you at some place. Secondly, offer money to an outsider to try and woo her. If both fails, then you have a keeper.

5. Financial management: Tell her you only have so and so naira. Like 1/4 of what you spend per week. And you want her to help you manage that to last you for the week. See how she reacts. Do this the second time. If she actually comes through, she's a keeper.

6. God-fearing attitude: Ask her to pray and fast with you for one day (1 hour prayer, 6-6pm fast). Then on another day, ask her to read the Bible with you. If you're a Muslim, find a way to involve her in your service in a way that might be inconvenient, see how she reacts.

7. Character: Go to a restaurant beforehand, meet with the waiter and ask them to purposely delay serving you, then they should apologize and serve you. If she throws tantrums and keeps flaring up after the apology, that's a red flag. You could also get someone to help around the house, then offer onto give that person something beyond what they're owed. If she objects, she has a flawed character. Do both these tests.

8. Culinary skills: Pick a random snack or soup that's probably not indigenous to your tribe. Ask her to make it. If she does it well, she has culinary skills. In another instance, but something from a restaurant that you like, eat it together, next time, you tell her you want it cooked at home just like the restaurant did it.

9. Truthfulness and integrity: Give her some money to keep for you for a short period, tell her the money isn't that important to you though but could be useful for a rainy day. Tell her to take out some of the money for her needs. Then after the due date, ask her for the money. But do as if you don't remember how much you gave her. Call a lesser number and see if she flows along. If she does, that's possible integrity issues. The second time, buy a new line and create another fake WhatsApp profile and try to hit on her subtly while promising her a better life than what she currently has. Then ask her out for a drink. Then in the evening, ask about it. Tell her you checked her phone and she's giving the green light to some guy on WhatsApp. If she denies it completely or lies, she's not for you.

10. Fertility: Get down with her one day or two days before her ovulation. Before you reach this stage, you should be ready to father a child. Do this three times. If after the third time, she doesn't take in, she probably has fertility issues. Be sure you do not have issues yourself.

You can call it off at any time, even at stage 10. But it could be hard to call it off at that last stage, because you definitely found a good woman, and if you feel you'd keep trying or might do IVF down the line if worse comes to worse, then keep her.

Take it from 1 to 10. At stage 10, you're ready to be a husband and a father. Introduce her quickly to your parents and fast-track the wedding. I'm not a fan of the conventional dating to wedding and all that hype. Compatibility first. Marriage is a lifetime thing. It's really not ceremonial or something that has to follow a strict, traditional process.

And I'll consider all these. No compromises on anything. Although I'm married but I didn't really know this before I married, though my wife is a good woman. But there are aspects I wished I had tested her on. Well blood group and genotype, sexual history, and ability to communicate feelings without being an emotional mess matters too. But those are just foundational. Maybe not the last one, but that's something to consider too.

And you must be totally objective, tearing away all ur emotional and religious blindfolds when making assessments.

A woman can love a man easily, but a man who falls in love early is a weak man. The bible says "husbands love your wife". Love requires effort for a man. And it's something you only give to your wife. Before then, your brain is your friend.

But I'll display love though (yeah, never make a woman feel the love is one-sided). Women need love. That's why the bible specifically instructs husbands to love their wives. Go out of your way to display love to your woman. Displays of love are like watering a plant (but don't go overboard).

And of course sexual compatibility. I wouldn't even consider myself knowing anything about a woman unless we've gotten down two or more times.

So when a guy like me asks what do you bring to the table? It's not supposed to be a confrontational question. Or a question about your financial prowess. I don't think at this point, I'd ever need my woman's money in any capacity. But it's a question of can you actually make me happy as a man (for a man that's essentially peace, contribution, respect, and healthy children).

So as men, forget beauty, makeup, sex all that stuff and relate to women from these perspectives. Test and assess!

What kind of skill do you have that's marketable?

Omo "swinging both ways" ... Fruity mf

Jewessgratitud3:
Hopefully someone leans from my story. I don't regret any of my decisions so far. I'm happy that in all, I wasn't consumed, used to a point of no return in fact if you see me, you'll hardly believe I'm 42. apart from say I get small protruding stomach ( which almost everyone has) and it's only when I eat. Otherwise its normal. So it's caused by food and I overeat.

I also don't regret not having children outside wedlock cos it would have reduced my chances of getting attention from men even at my age. Yes.. I still get attention like serious advances from single men. This is not to make a boast. In this year alone, I've had two suitors. Very responsible guy and another man but the thing with me is that I'm too picky. if I don't like you first, e go hard. So those two were not my spec and I won't trap myself in a loveless marriage just because of age or "time is going " , if it's not what I want, I won't do it. Call me anything you like, your opinion. I don't kia!


Modified

I don't know why you're pained. That was me just being witty to lighten up the tense mood of my story but your dumb olodo self cant recognize a witty saying when you see one hence holding unto it and reacting like a beheaded chicken.

Empty skull

You're still talking about feelings at your age

Obviously, you are no longer a virgin. And you've rejected men, like a lot of good men. I don't want to add to your worries. But when people hide on morality and use that as a shield for stupidity and ignorance, I find it appalling. But to say I have no pity for you is an understatement. I think it's more of this overestimation of one's own self worth. Some don't even have any self worth, some think too high of themselves without bringing anything to the table except pussy and nagging. I'll advise you go and store your eggs if you still can and start saving and when you're 45, you can find a sperm donor and do IVF. Omo this story just weak me

See all these simpsons forming woke. A wise girl herself will volunteer to help her fiance's mom in the kitchen. If she doesn't, a wise mother inlaw wouldn't castigate her. But for the guy, a girl that just sits down and waits for your mother to serve her, first time or not, prolly lacks good home training.

Obi is more like a clog in the wheel at this point. He should leave Tinubu and Atiku to slug it out.

52$ Payoneer needed ASAP at your price

Most of these governors themselves are armed to the teeth. If you think one police or soldier will save you from terrorists in Nigeria, your mumu knows no bounds

That woman has a mental condition. I don't know how it isn't apparent to anyone

I know this woman. Used to read her posts on LinkedIn. Very smart woman... Kudos!

Most of the people replying to these posts are either simps or feminist idiots. The mistake is marrying her without knowing if she has a defined chart or map for her life. Your wife looks like someone who is just figuring out shit - all these hustler mentality types. There's no definite direction. Give her a timeframe to come up with a 5-year roadmap for her life. Then you show her yours and compare and contrast. Vision alignment is very important in marriage

lexy2014:
Is palliative not subsidy?

Is subsidy the cause of Nigerias problems?

People don't need palliatives. What they need is jobs. And by jobs, I means encouraging farming and other low risk high reward macro-investments instead of giving people handouts. Socialism increases corruption.

It's because at some point you both dropped your goals and aspirations because you were "feeling love" or "raising a child" whom you are going to fk up anyway

Saintinoo:
So sir, what is the way forward.

Ol boy I don't know o. I'm not in government. But what I know is the Central Bank has to peg the naira to dollar rate first. Then they can take this advice here by Wale Edun. And hopefully, if Tinubu has sense now, he'll reduce the costs of government and remove other unnecessary subsidies Nigeraia is paying. Or else the Naira will keep free falling until we start using the dollar like an economically colonized country (e.g El Salvador)

LordAdam16:
Emefiele's tenure did not start in 2021.

We had two recessions in 5 years. https://www.reuters.com/article/nigeria-gdp-idUSL1N2I7084

And the reason the economy grew at over 3% post-2021 is because he funneled trillions into it.

Which is not peculiar to him either. The entire planet pumped ungodly amount of cash into the system. Everyone is wrestling with the aftershocks.

-Lord

Yes. Recession causes deflation. Covid-19 was a worldwide recession. And every smart country funnelled money into their economy at the time. They encouraged small biz loans, mortgages and deployed money to people for local and foreign investments. Nigeria's Central bank under Emefiele didn't.

After Covid-19 when it was time to revert back as worldwide inflation had already started (in part fueled by Russia-Ukraine war), our guys were sleeping, while countries like the US were working to improve their currencies by playing with interest rates.

These ones were just borrowing people naira and dollar anyhow, then borrowing from The World bank, China etc. to run a very expensive government. So it's just simple demand and supply. When there's limited supply vs demand, price increases, that's your currency in respect to other countries. When you increase supply vs demand, price decreases, that's why the naira will keep going down unless drastic measures are taken by the Central Bank.

LordAdam16:
Meffy had to grapple with two recessions.

The only viable way to boost economic growth after a downturn is to open the spigot.

Don't compare apples and oranges.

-Lord

You don't understand what they call a recession bro. Nigeria's GDP has been growing at over 3% since 2021, yet there is high inflation and people are suffering at scale and the currency is losing value almost daily. What do you call that?

mrvitalis:
Like I said making a micro economist CBN governor and minister of finance is a tragedy waiting to happen

Buhari did same at least they were humble to accept they didn't know took time before taking decisions

Now we have a bad combination of arrogance and ignorant people as heads of our CBN and finance ministers


my solution
Cutting money supply would harm the already struggling businesses ...so what to so

Pump money into key manufacturing sectors as low interest loans 10% max give them 8 months before Tenure starts

Make sure they are in this two areas 1) import substitution products 2) exportable products produced at below international market price

This would marke goods available to match money supply dragging down inflation creating jobs and increasing revenue for government


Note when I mean pump in money I don't mean 50billion 😂😂

I mean 5 trillion minimum

. Spoken like someone who has no idea of macro-economics. The economy doesn't suffer from a lack of money supply. And ramping up manufacturing is a long term play

Yes restricting money supply (loan facilities) is always the sensible way to stop rising inflation. I don't know why it hasn't happened sooner? And why this Emefiele guy was just testing stupid policies. And also removing subsidy was wise but free floating of the naira was a bad move. I don't know if there are no sound economists advising these guys.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

War is not genocide. The aftermath of Truman's nuclear bomb - cancer, tumors, and making sure that no living thing (plant or animal) could occupy the Hiroshima and Nagasaki area at least for the next 2 years is why nuclear bombs are banned worldwide.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2023/07/21/oppenheimer-truman-atomic-bomb-guilt/

A good war strategy tries to minimize the number of innocent casualties while launching a hard and fast offensive, not win at any cost.

ASAPFERG:
igbos deserve nothing but death

death to all igbos

This is a mentally retarded person. And I'm not even Igbo. Who takes Reno Omokri seriously anyway? Attention seeking buffon

airsaylongcome:
Is schizo characterized by extreme paranoia? I'm talking really extreme paranoia here, with belief that your friends and close family are out to "get you". Or that you are the target of a "radioactive ray"

Yes. That's psychosis. Could be from schizo or from another mental health issue. But most likely schizophrenia

Self love is opening your eyes fully before entering into a life-long contract with anyone (marriage). The signs would always be there. Just like I wrote in my recent post about girls with "daddy issues".

airsaylongcome:
How can you tell its schizo?

It's more common than you'd think. Him not being able to keep a job or to graduate despite being a smart student also point to it.

Your husband seems like he suffers from schizophrenia. And those episodes are psychotic. He needs therapy. And he needs to stay on his meds. The reality is, until he finds himself with your support, you'll be the "man of the house". These were things you should have looked at before marriage, especially for the sake of your kids. He can live a healthy and normal life but not until he learns how to read the signs and manage the disease. It's a disease of the mind. And it has no cure. But it can be managed.

CuriousStudent:
No one will admit it That child abuse in form of beating and coporal punishment has effectd on them. The passive aggression is something ruining everyone. The misogyny and the rest traces back to something. When violence is the only way of living,it traces back to abuse. Some people rarely use the magic word. Vulgar,swearing,slamming doors,banging tables,raising voices. Some(like myself) are conflict avoidant and ghost others as a means of survival/protecting our feelings instead of communication.

Comparing you to your siblings that do better. Parading you in the school for pooing on your body. And the rest. Belittling you or scolding you in public to prove to others that they are a disciplinarian or manipulation of everything about you just so your parents will not embarrassed in public.

I don't want to talk of boarding school. One girl almost sent me to my creator because the guy she liked was hitting on me.

But no,"beating made me who I am" . Who are you? If I may ask. A third world unattractive low earning hypocrite . Who are you? Some dirty misogynist dealing with scabbies and body odour and broke and still eating from mother pot or living in Shanties and squalors with mattress on the floor.

Or the hook up girls were not flogged?

Okay,I guess who you are is something great.you are not gay/lesbian,so that makes you "better"

[b] modified
I recall an accident that made me realize most Nigerians are mentally unstable. I went to a restaurant with a coursemate to eat. He was frowning at some point and I inquired if all was well. Then he said ,"just look at them,they can will never cook but will be coming outside to eat. All these irresponsible girls". I asked if he was alright and he was like, "I just feel irritated when I see a lady eating outside when she should be cooking".
Till today I struggle to come to terms with the fact that instead of eating your food in peace,and walking out,you will devote your time to evaluating and noticing others.
The guy was "disturbed". Him and many others hold very strong opinions and expectations of others that owe them nothing and are quietly living their lives because someone must have subjected them to some high subjective standard. The cycle repeats itself

Very true. I have been studying a bit of psychology. And in Africa, we are ignorant of how being very tough on a child, especially girl children, during their brain's formation and maturation stage, combined with other factors, leads to issues like schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/harsh-discipline-increases-risk-of-children-developing-lasting-mental-health-problems

UyaiIncomparabl:
I used to have "DADDY ISSUES and ABANDONMENT TRAUMA", but it's no problem at all, and I am past it too.

Yea. That's what everyone says until it rears up it's ugly head again, when you least expect

They don't even try to disguise the propaganda again