JimD's Posts

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Family › Re: Parenting girls by JimD(op): 10:12pm On Jul 15, 2023

Zedoo:
Came here expecting an in-depth analysis...now I’m just looking like who in the world wants any woman they love to be out and about in the night?
Have your own daughter make we see if you go sleep well when she dey outside by 11pm with the evil of the day.
What you called daddy issues have nothing to do with daddy issues it’s called staying safe in a dangerous society even you as a man shouldn’t be roaming without adequate measures in the night.

There are only a handful of dangerous states in Nigeria rn. What they call narcissism starts from this controlling attitude. You absolutely should not try to control the movement of the girl you're dating (and I can guess from your profile you're not In a relationship rn or you have a degree of shyness in approaching women. But if you enter into one, being controlling will cause you lots of avoidable fights). Letting people know what the consequences of something is, and how it would make you feel about them is enough to compel wise choices (at least with someone who isn't already messed up)...

Family › Re: Parenting girls by JimD(op): 9:46pm On Jul 15, 2023

When you do a good job as a parent, a 13 year old child knows right from left. I've seen children that have no parents grow up to be responsible adults and children with very strict parents grow up to be wrecks. There are too many case studies.

Family › Re: Love is good. Assessments are better by JimD(op): 3:20pm On Jul 15, 2023

Samantha124:
Then there's friendship love, the one that has been putting me through the most.

There's this other friend of mine that I love so much, but she's been hurting me over and over again, it's like she doesn't care about my feelings anymore... But I keep finding a way to overlook everything and forgive her without her asking for forgiveness.

I feel like I'm in this friendship all alone, but I can't let go because it's a 20 years friendship, we've been friends since we were young and I feel like she's the only friend for me.

She recently did something that hurt me so bad, I've been crying all morning and I only got out of bed at around 12pm, but the problem is that despite what she did, I still love her.

Friendship is transactional (I wouldn't say love). You both have benefits you offer each other - time, companionship and otherwise. Do an 80-20 assessment of the friendship. Is it 80% hurt and 20% happiness. Or vice versa. If it's the former, cut them off. You'll be making space in your life for better things and better people. But since you've been at it for a while, do it slowly. Just drastically minimize time spent with them. And also, find a way to deal with your own attachment issues.

Family › Re: Love is good. Assessments are better by JimD(op): 2:26pm On Jul 15, 2023

kalufelix:
The mother-child love you talked about is still an investment for old age from the parents perspective...love is a complete hoax...its all about our various interest and desires...

Yes. There's always a reward in love. Even God saved us to make us better and be empowered to do his will. But when that reward isn't visible in the short term and may not even be realized, then that's sacrifice - the hallmark of love

1 Like

Sports › Re: Mason Greenwood Welcomes First Child With His Girlfriend (Photos) by JimD(m): 11:05am On Jul 15, 2023

Why are black celebs always ending up with hoes. It is well

Family › Love is good. Assessments are better by JimD(op): 10:54am On Jul 15, 2023*

Have you heard something like this before: "I love you more than life itself"... grin

Fact is if you think you love someone else more than yourself, it's not love in the first place. You didn't love them that much, and you surely didn't love yourself that much either.

To understand love, you should examine just two types of love:

Love for your child:
A passionate connection to someone who can't give much back. A baby is taken out of your body, a child that you kinda had a relationship with, if you're a woman, for 9 months, and you feel some sort of connection.

Then the baby has needs and those needs keep you hustling around the clock. You forget what sleep is in the serving of this other human being. That's the purest form of love. What's the main feature here - giving.

Romantic love
Romantic love is actually the opposite. It's not even really love. It's infatuation. It's obsession. So much so that scientists have determined that the same hormones are raging in romantic love as in people with sever cases of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

And why? Why the obsession? Because of what this other person gives *to me*. The romantic love partner is no longer the giver but the receiver. True, they will turn into a giver, but that is only because of the largess they've been receiving. You do want to give to someone who gives to you.

Okay, I copied the above from drdeb.com, a marriage and family therapist. But even in the bible:

The love of God to man is translated as agape or God so loved (egapesen) the world. To love something or someone in already good standing or who has perfect accomplishments isn't love. But to love someone who is in a despicable state, and who has no reward to offer you as of now, that is agape.

To love without expectations of reward. That can only be found with God, your mother, and with someone who loves themselves and thus extends this love to the ones that are incapable of paying back. So this is one good sign to look for in a potential spouse.

I'm not talking about giving for clout or social media views; or giving things or doing things for inlaws. That's not actually coming from a place of love.

Generally speaking, love between a man and a woman doesn't fit this criteria. There's always an immediate, instant reward. Later on, it might actually be tested and proved to be agape though. That is, when one person falls into sickness or financial troubles, or what attracted has been taken away, and the other party becomes more like a caregiver.

Fact is, you'll only find this kind of 'true love' that withstands tough tests with someone who, even before being with you has always offered assistance to old people for free, gives things to poor kids and is generally considered a "kind" person. That's a tough find.

But generally, it is a give-and-receive thing. The balance could just be skewed towards one side with someone giving more than the other. That's what causes tensions in the relationship or marriage. So, in reality, you work with what you have, but with more scrutiny.

In the real sense, even with the ideal woman or man I described - the "kind" person, at the start, he or she is with you for your looks, your money or your sex game. And vice versa. And that's not bad. That's just how it's been right from Adam.

But there should be other considerations - first I mentioned some degree of kindness to others (without any expectations). Then yours might be different but personally I'd look at cooking skills, humor and conversation, intelligence level, family dynamics and general character. I believe every man should be assessing these from the second or third date.

Assess these and most importantly, assess her medical conditions, especially mind conditions. You must note how she reacts in stressful situations. This is very important.

Throw the word "LOVE" out of your vocabulary when it comes to marriage and relationships. Analyze your needs and how this person can fit into them, then you can decide to commit. Note the word commit. Let it replace "Love" in your vocabulary when it comes to relationships. But when someone says, "I love you", be courteous enough to reply with "I love you too cool

".

Anyway, this is a choice you'll be responsible for, not just for your lifetime but your kids' lifetime. Once a child is mentally f**d by their parents, they may not recover in a lifetime.

Marital or relationship love is something you "fall" into, according to the programming. "Princess Diana meets prince Charming. It was love at first sight. Prince Charming slays a dragon for the princess. They got married and lived happily ever after.". Imagine being programmed by the same BS in a variety of forms since you were small.

Commitment is something you have 100% control over. No falling. There will be selflessness when you commit to someone. But not after there has been sufficient scrutiny. This is a choice you make with both eyes fully open, sometimes even with pen and paper analysis. It's not just for yourself but for your kids.

Family › Re: For The Married Peeps What Are The Things Nobody Told You About Marriage? by JimD(m): 10:00am On Jul 15, 2023

chccho:
Pls where did u write it? I would like to read.

check my profile

Family › Re: Parenting girls by JimD(op): 9:59am On Jul 15, 2023

HUSTLER001:
In a nutshell,as a dad,be the best friend of your daughter.Not her personal bouncer.

Gbam! Girl-children are too delicate emotionally especially in their teens

2 Likes

Family › Re: For The Married Peeps What Are The Things Nobody Told You About Marriage? by JimD(m): 10:14pm On Jul 14, 2023

You both have baggages you are sweeping under the rug. You raise children to tow the same line and drop your own loads of BS on them. Don't marry until you're sure you actually love yourself. You can't actually love someone else. So what you can do is commit or not commit... I wrote something on girls with daddy issues and any guy in relationship should read it.

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Family › Re: Parenting girls by JimD(op): 8:34pm On Jul 14, 2023

The irony is I was expecting a guy to be the first to comment.

Politics › Re: ‘Is It For Groundnuts?’ — Atiku’s Aide Dismisses Tinubu’s ₦8k Relief Plan by JimD(m): 7:58pm On Jul 14, 2023

Tax the rich to pay the poor - copying a page from Obama

Family › Parenting girls by JimD(op): 7:28pm On Jul 14, 2023*

One of the rules of training a girl-child is to not be too over-protective, especially during their early to late teens. Being overprotective during these stages will mess the child up. So, overprotective in the sense of you must not go out after 7pm, don't let them get into fights with other girls, put a tough limit on their interactions with boys etc. Protective is good, overprotective is not. It leads to emotional complications for them later, which leads to psychological problems. There are too many case studies of this.

And as a guy in the dating market, if you see this sign. A girl is usually scared of going out anytime from 7, or is scared of being left alone in the house, or usually scared generally of little things or believes that some people are after her or her family, it'll be better you let her find herself on her own terms. Most likely down the line, she'll be scared of you leaving her. This can cause extreme jealousy, which can be dangerous for you down the line. These are signs of lingering childhood issues that you cannot solve for her. And there is usually a psychotherapy need there. You might need to move on or just help them work through it, knowing that this may take a lifetime of "working through it". Just make sure your kids are safe from emotional manipulation.

The critical way to help a child develop into their fully confident self and help them develop a full-matured brain is to appreciate or make them feel good for small accomplishments. This is crucial when they are in formative years, 0-7 and pre-teen 7-13

5 Likes

Romance › Re: You Are Single Untill You Married - Double Date by JimD(m): 6:51pm On Jun 04, 2023

Renman:
Are you a Virgin

Answer the question once and for all. Madam wealllovesez

... Anybody with a phone and data can give relationship advice these days

Sports › Re: Messi's Reaction After Winning His First Ever World Cup by JimD(m): 7:27am On Dec 20, 2022

Messi and Ronaldo have done something great with their own lives. What have you guys done with yours other than being fanboys and social media asslickers? Go and sit down and think. Nigerian youths have a long way to go.

2 Likes

Family › Re: My Wedding Was Stopped 6 Weeks To The D-Day by JimD(m): 7:20am On Oct 07, 2022

This girl is entitled af... You don't even need family interference, you would have wrecked the home yourself

1 Like

Business › Re: Best Virtual Dollar Cards In Nigeria by JimD(m): 5:04pm On Jul 30, 2022

hegelian:
What do you mean by prepaid function?

Chippercash offers a Visa prepaid card. It works well for most online websites

Business › Re: Wallets Africa Withholding Users Funds And Bad Customer Experience by JimD(m): 1:31pm On Jul 26, 2022

Binancian:
wallets africa is a payment startup that offers virtual dollar card services, i had been an avid user of the barter usd card for a long time up to 2 years without issues. after the shut down of their card service by flutterwave i had to explore other alternatives.

I tried chipper and many sites and paypal did not accept the card. had a pending withdrawal issue with chipper which was resolved after 3! days. after the escape i had about 130k naira on wallets africa account. which i had tried to use and fund the USD card which failed. so after multiple failed attempts i made a move to withdraw my funded in 2 batches since the 20th of this month. and the funds have not been forthcoming since then. it will soon be 1 week since a company withheld my funds and that of several others complaining on their social media and all we get from their support is promises.

some users funds have been stuck for 2 weeks!! please do recommend any authority we can report this company to
lalasticlala and mods if possible move to fp to protect others from this firm

Wallets Africa is the worst. You spend about a week to get verified. Shows they have no customer care.

Business › Re: Alternative To 'barter Virtual Card' By Flutterwave? by JimD(m): 1:26pm On Jul 26, 2022

JimD:
Don't pay 100$ for gomoney. Try any of Sudo africa, Changera, Wallet Africa, Geegpay, Mintyn, Bitmama... If you have BVN issue, speak to their customer care rep. Every one of these virtual dollar card providers will take kyc more seriously now. And Barter and co are also still coming back but will require verifications. Don't waste your money

I change my stance on this. All of these apps are rubbish. Barter was the best by far. Just go apply for dollar card or Dom account. You fit also ask anyone abroad to pay for stuff for you, which is what I'm currently doing.

1 Like

Business › Re: Alternative To 'barter Virtual Card' By Flutterwave? by JimD(m): 6:59pm On Jul 22, 2022

Don't pay 100$ for gomoney. Try any of Sudo africa, Changera, Wallet Africa, Geegpay, Mintyn, Bitmama... If you have BVN issue, speak to their customer care rep. Every one of these virtual dollar card providers will take kyc more seriously now. And Barter and co are also still coming back but will require verifications. Don't waste your money

Business › Re: ➜ ➜ ➜Currency/E-currency Market Deals 2020 ➜ ➜ ➜ by JimD(m): 7:53pm On Jul 04, 2022

I have an agency-type freelance business making $5k per month. Currently planning to scale up. I need someone based in the US to handle invoices on Paypal and Quickbooks for me, and exchange for me at their rate. Let's talk!

Politics › Re: Another Girl Narrowly Escapes Being Lynched In Sokoto- Pic And Video by JimD(m): 10:13pm On May 14, 2022

realmindz:
Imagine the family of the girl, the only thing that can ease their pain is to get their revenge.
Then if they fail to plot a revenge in this their life time, then they have failed in life.
They should hunt these killers and make them bleed. They should find them and their family members and make them bleed or die trying to

If na Yoruba land, they'll give the dead weapon to avenge itself with strong sacrifice and incantations. All of those people (everyone of them) will just die sudden and pitiable death one by one... This is not about religion now. It's about right and wrong

Business › Re: Premium Writers Needed by JimD(op): 1:31pm On Aug 04, 2021

16 writers, 2 projects per week (for a start) at 5k per project (1k-2k words).

You will need to:
- take my writing course
- be able to meet deadlines

Reply me via email @ danolujinmi@gmail.com with a sample and how many articles you can write per week.

This is just for a start. I want to scale to 10 articles per week for each writer soon and 8k per project. That is 160 articles and 8k per project.

I want motivated people with a bit of writing experience to reply. @dmkara @ojiiks and @lynx200 seem like best fit. Will contact u guys if ur still interested.

Business › N by JimD(op): 10:10am On May 22, 2021*

I need

Business › Re: Premium Writers Needed by JimD(op): 2:35pm On Feb 28, 2021*

Lydiatheoracle:
I am Lydia. My background and experience match your description. I would love to work with you if the offer is still available.
I charge #5 per word and I can turn in 12-15 articles per week.

Business › Re: Premium Writers Needed by JimD(op): 2:30pm On Feb 28, 2021*

dmkara:
From your post, I can see that you write pretty well, and I'm wondering if I can impress you enough to hire me. I'm currently looking for just one reliable client who pays on time and has a steady work supply. The right person will have all my attention and be my only client so there are no disappointments. I can pump out 1000 - 1500 words daily and sometimes even more.
But I hope you are not the type looking for some free service. There's nothing wrong with paying for a test job if it meets your standards. You could also request samples of work that has not been published anywhere. A Google "precision search" should always dig up an article wherever its lurking on the net. So you can always know if it's a published sample. I prefer giving prospective clients unpublished samples because they aren't likely to cheat on that since it won't be in their niche. Actually, I'm not comfortable with the "free test-job" idea. But I'll provide my own unpublished samples from a different niche so you know I wrote them.
If you want to talk, my email is: henngwah@gmail.com. I'm flexible, friendly, and funny to work with,and I charge low for a reliable first-quality service.

1 Like

Business › Re: Premium Writers Needed by JimD(op): 2:20pm On Feb 28, 2021*

Adverts › Re: My Fiverr Skyscraper Strategy - 7 Figures In Fiverr Sales Within 6 Months by JimD(op): 5:42pm On Feb 18, 2021

I am not going to do the Fiverr walk-through. I don't have the time atm. For everyone that dropped their email, I will send over the Ebook on the new 2021 Fiverr strategies today (free of charge).

Politics › Re: Easier-than-imagined Way To Overcome The Herder Tribe In Nigeria by JimD(m): 10:57pm On Jan 24, 2021

Dude create a Twitter thread for this. It can go viral if we all retweet it. Twitter is the best place for freedom of expression.

Politics › Re: Sunday Igboho: Why Bullets Fired At Me In Seriki Fulani's Place Did Not Harm Me by JimD(m): 9:55pm On Jan 24, 2021

Crayfish09:
If it truly existed, believe me, all the first world countries would be placing orders. It would fetch more revenue for Nigeria than all the natural resources combined.

Ask yourself why the colonial masters easily defeated us if we truly had this thing.

Colonial masters tried once and failed miserably in Yoruba land until they enlisted Yoruba's own chiefs and kings like Efunroye Tinubu, ologun kutere and Efunsetan aniwura... Go and read history books.

Health › Re: Remembering How I Became Blind Makes Me Sad —31-year-old Computer Scientist by JimD(m): 4:47pm On Jan 24, 2021

I wish she could have sourced for money to travel out once she found out its retina displacement. These half-baked doctors in Nigeria can't do shit about something like that.

Politics › Re: No More Herdsmen – Sunday Igboho Faces Soldiers, Policemen by JimD(m): 4:37pm On Jan 24, 2021

franudi:
One Igbo man is more than all the yorubas put together.

Oga shut up

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