₦airaland Forum

Why are black celebs always ending up with hoes. It is well

Have you heard something like this before: "I love you more than life itself"...

Fact is if you think you love someone else more than yourself, it's not love in the first place. You didn't love them that much, and you surely didn't love yourself that much either.

To understand love, you should examine just two types of love:

Love for your child:
A passionate connection to someone who can't give much back. A baby is taken out of your body, a child that you kinda had a relationship with, if you're a woman, for 9 months, and you feel some sort of connection.

Then the baby has needs and those needs keep you hustling around the clock. You forget what sleep is in the serving of this other human being. That's the purest form of love. What's the main feature here - giving.

Romantic love
Romantic love is actually the opposite. It's not even really love. It's infatuation. It's obsession. So much so that scientists have determined that the same hormones are raging in romantic love as in people with sever cases of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

And why? Why the obsession? Because of what this other person gives *to me*. The romantic love partner is no longer the giver but the receiver. True, they will turn into a giver, but that is only because of the largess they've been receiving. You do want to give to someone who gives to you.

Okay, I copied the above from drdeb.com, a marriage and family therapist. But even in the bible:

The love of God to man is translated as agape or God so loved (egapesen) the world. To love something or someone in already good standing or who has perfect accomplishments isn't love. But to love someone who is in a despicable state, and who has no reward to offer you as of now, that is agape.

To love without expectations of reward. That can only be found with God, your mother, and with someone who loves themselves and thus extends this love to the ones that are incapable of paying back. So this is one good sign to look for in a potential spouse.

I'm not talking about giving for clout or social media views; or giving things or doing things for inlaws. That's not actually coming from a place of love.

Generally speaking, love between a man and a woman doesn't fit this criteria. There's always an immediate, instant reward. Later on, it might actually be tested and proved to be agape though. That is, when one person falls into sickness or financial troubles, or what attracted has been taken away, and the other party becomes more like a caregiver.

Fact is, you'll only find this kind of 'true love' that withstands tough tests with someone who, even before being with you has always offered assistance to old people for free, gives things to poor kids and is generally considered a "kind" person. That's a tough find.

But generally, it is a give-and-receive thing. The balance could just be skewed towards one side with someone giving more than the other. That's what causes tensions in the relationship or marriage. So, in reality, you work with what you have, but with more scrutiny.

In the real sense, even with the ideal woman or man I described - the "kind" person, at the start, he or she is with you for your looks, your money or your sex game. And vice versa. And that's not bad. That's just how it's been right from Adam.

But there should be other considerations - first I mentioned some degree of kindness to others (without any expectations). Then yours might be different but personally I'd look at cooking skills, humor and conversation, intelligence level, family dynamics and general character. I believe every man should be assessing these from the second or third date.

Assess these and most importantly, assess her medical conditions, especially mind conditions. You must note how she reacts in stressful situations. This is very important.

Throw the word "LOVE" out of your vocabulary when it comes to marriage and relationships. Analyze your needs and how this person can fit into them, then you can decide to commit. Note the word commit. Let it replace "Love" in your vocabulary when it comes to relationships. But when someone says, "I love you", be courteous enough to reply with "I love you too ".

Anyway, this is a choice you'll be responsible for, not just for your lifetime but your kids' lifetime. Once a child is mentally f**d by their parents, they may not recover in a lifetime.

Marital or relationship love is something you "fall" into, according to the programming. "Princess Diana meets prince Charming. It was love at first sight. Prince Charming slays a dragon for the princess. They got married and lived happily ever after.". Imagine being programmed by the same BS in a variety of forms since you were small.

Commitment is something you have 100% control over. No falling. There will be selflessness when you commit to someone. But not after there has been sufficient scrutiny. This is a choice you make with both eyes fully open, sometimes even with pen and paper analysis. It's not just for yourself but for your kids.

chccho:
Pls where did u write it? I would like to read.

check my profile

HUSTLER001:
In a nutshell,as a dad,be the best friend of your daughter.Not her personal bouncer.

Gbam! Girl-children are too delicate emotionally especially in their teens

You both have baggages you are sweeping under the rug. You raise children to tow the same line and drop your own loads of BS on them. Don't marry until you're sure you actually love yourself. You can't actually love someone else. So what you can do is commit or not commit... I wrote something on girls with daddy issues and any guy in relationship should read it.

The irony is I was expecting a guy to be the first to comment.

Tax the rich to pay the poor - copying a page from Obama

One of the rules of training a girl-child is to not be too over-protective, especially during their early to late teens. Being overprotective during these stages will mess the child up. So, overprotective in the sense of you must not go out after 7pm, don't let them get into fights with other girls, put a tough limit on their interactions with boys etc. Protective is good, overprotective is not. It leads to emotional complications for them later, which leads to psychological problems. There are too many case studies of this.

And as a guy in the dating market, if you see this sign. A girl is usually scared of going out anytime from 7, or is scared of being left alone in the house, or usually scared generally of little things or believes that some people are after her or her family, it'll be better you let her find herself on her own terms. Most likely down the line, she'll be scared of you leaving her. This can cause extreme jealousy, which can be dangerous for you down the line. These are signs of lingering childhood issues that you cannot solve for her. And there is usually a psychotherapy need there. You might need to move on or just help them work through it, knowing that this may take a lifetime of "working through it". Just make sure your kids are safe from emotional manipulation.

The critical way to help a child develop into their fully confident self and help them develop a full-matured brain is to appreciate or make them feel good for small accomplishments. This is crucial when they are in formative years, 0-7 and pre-teen 7-13

Renman:
Are you a Virgin

Answer the question once and for all. Madam wealllovesez ... Anybody with a phone and data can give relationship advice these days

Messi and Ronaldo have done something great with their own lives. What have you guys done with yours other than being fanboys and social media asslickers? Go and sit down and think. Nigerian youths have a long way to go.

This girl is entitled af... You don't even need family interference, you would have wrecked the home yourself

hegelian:
What do you mean by prepaid function?

Chippercash offers a Visa prepaid card. It works well for most online websites

Binancian:
wallets africa is a payment startup that offers virtual dollar card services, i had been an avid user of the barter usd card for a long time up to 2 years without issues. after the shut down of their card service by flutterwave i had to explore other alternatives.

I tried chipper and many sites and paypal did not accept the card. had a pending withdrawal issue with chipper which was resolved after 3! days. after the escape i had about 130k naira on wallets africa account. which i had tried to use and fund the USD card which failed. so after multiple failed attempts i made a move to withdraw my funded in 2 batches since the 20th of this month. and the funds have not been forthcoming since then. it will soon be 1 week since a company withheld my funds and that of several others complaining on their social media and all we get from their support is promises.

some users funds have been stuck for 2 weeks!! please do recommend any authority we can report this company to
lalasticlala and mods if possible move to fp to protect others from this firm

Wallets Africa is the worst. You spend about a week to get verified. Shows they have no customer care.

JimD:
Don't pay 100$ for gomoney. Try any of Sudo africa, Changera, Wallet Africa, Geegpay, Mintyn, Bitmama... If you have BVN issue, speak to their customer care rep. Every one of these virtual dollar card providers will take kyc more seriously now. And Barter and co are also still coming back but will require verifications. Don't waste your money

I change my stance on this. All of these apps are rubbish. Barter was the best by far. Just go apply for dollar card or Dom account. You fit also ask anyone abroad to pay for stuff for you, which is what I'm currently doing.

Don't pay 100$ for gomoney. Try any of Sudo africa, Changera, Wallet Africa, Geegpay, Mintyn, Bitmama... If you have BVN issue, speak to their customer care rep. Every one of these virtual dollar card providers will take kyc more seriously now. And Barter and co are also still coming back but will require verifications. Don't waste your money

I have an agency-type freelance business making $5k per month. Currently planning to scale up. I need someone based in the US to handle invoices on Paypal and Quickbooks for me, and exchange for me at their rate. Let's talk!

realmindz:
Imagine the family of the girl, the only thing that can ease their pain is to get their revenge.
Then if they fail to plot a revenge in this their life time, then they have failed in life.
They should hunt these killers and make them bleed. They should find them and their family members and make them bleed or die trying to

If na Yoruba land, they'll give the dead weapon to avenge itself with strong sacrifice and incantations. All of those people (everyone of them) will just die sudden and pitiable death one by one... This is not about religion now. It's about right and wrong

16 writers, 2 projects per week (for a start) at 5k per project (1k-2k words).

You will need to:
- take my writing course
- be able to meet deadlines

Reply me via email @ danolujinmi@gmail.com with a sample and how many articles you can write per week.

This is just for a start. I want to scale to 10 articles per week for each writer soon and 8k per project. That is 160 articles and 8k per project.

I want motivated people with a bit of writing experience to reply. @dmkara @ojiiks and @lynx200 seem like best fit. Will contact u guys if ur still interested.

I need

.

I am not going to do the Fiverr walk-through. I don't have the time atm. For everyone that dropped their email, I will send over the Ebook on the new 2021 Fiverr strategies today (free of charge).

Dude create a Twitter thread for this. It can go viral if we all retweet it. Twitter is the best place for freedom of expression.

Crayfish09:
If it truly existed, believe me, all the first world countries would be placing orders. It would fetch more revenue for Nigeria than all the natural resources combined.

Ask yourself why the colonial masters easily defeated us if we truly had this thing.

Colonial masters tried once and failed miserably in Yoruba land until they enlisted Yoruba's own chiefs and kings like Efunroye Tinubu, ologun kutere and Efunsetan aniwura... Go and read history books.

I wish she could have sourced for money to travel out once she found out its retina displacement. These half-baked doctors in Nigeria can't do shit about something like that.

franudi:
One Igbo man is more than all the yorubas put together.

Oga shut up

100 USD BTC needed at your rate

SocialJustice:
See them, 419 people.

Who is asking you for money? That's why you keep remaining poor

.

SoftP:
What else do you expect from a city where their god was a drug addict,

Obviously they were on drugs

The day he did is to Nigerians was the day the gods of Africa started counting his days of existence

PUTA!