₦airaland Forum

[size=16pt]Fela.[/size]

If only to hear his updated tory for the forthcoming decades. The man was a visionary. Tell me, which if these lyrics have not been appropriate to our circumstances?

Archbishop na miliki, pop-e na enjoyment ...

Army man go whip your yansh you go dey look like monkey ...

Man dey suffer, e no fit talk na condition ...

Dodo nko, fifty kobo for one, na konkolo e be

You go piss for bodi u no go know (Gentleman) ...

What is going on with these new varieties of Garri they are sending to us? When I was a kid back home, a very small quantity of garri soaked swells to fill the bowl like miracle, you will chop tire.

The garri we get now in London is crap. The other day I soaked some garri in a bowl hallway and filled it up with water, even left it in the fridge. Went out for a few hours to watch a football match with a detour on the way back to Tomi's Kitchen to pick up Mashed beans.

I was expecting the bowl to be full and, yes, the water had dried up but the garri level was almost the same, only now very soft and mushy like some kind of pap. That was white Garri. I have tried yellow garri, the same. Are these people adding funny chemicals?

Help. Where can I find original, swelling Garri in London?

cogitoErgo: My bros, y do u boda preach to pple like dis? u see, some pple on NL ar jst on this break up thng that if dey hear that two market women fought they will say its because of the contraption called Nigeria!

It is a sign of intellectual laziness. It is comforting to differentiate and exclude others so you can corner more resourses. Every walking moment is spent looking for these things that divide, not commonalities.

Villages that have turned themselves into fiefdoms to invade neighboring villages themselves become warzones when families fight for chieftaincy allotments.

Think you've heard it all? Consider the faultline in some Eastern States where petitions for political appointments are now on the basis of Catholics vs Protestants.

You'd think Universal Education and widespread literacy is the answer because it endows the normal footsoldiers with the critical facilities to question why they are actually fighting. Who is benefitting from all the blood he's spilling? Is there another way?

Mind you, with the examples of some of the NL keyboard warriors here, that may be too optimistic.

demmy: Ajekpakos??

Its Ajepako (A-jẹ-pá-kó).

How about O-ver-sa-bi?

Not everyone has time with your elele keyboard. Abeg drop your own story or carry go.

aduje: I remember back in my primary school days. I lived with my grandma in the village and attended a Local Authority Primary school as it were. Rain was our best friend then. We pray for it, run around in it all through. We just remove our school uniform and would be left with rainbow colour (Mr Okafor) everlasting pants....hahaha.

In those days, we wear pants for months without washing....

Chei, other names for this pant Left-hand drive, no hand signal because of the rope you tie it with on the left hand side.

My own Dangerous Thing Part 1
The most dangerous thing I did was playing football in the field next to a church with many other area kids, the ball got kicked high and stuck between two live electric wires. Omo, see spark and lightning. But, that ball na the only one wey sabi bounce and wey neva burst for the whole neighborhood. We throw stick, throw slippers, for where, the ball no gree come down.

Naim I come remember "Mission Impossible" for TV climb electric pole like monkey. When I reach the top, my sister climb follow hand me long stick (she monkey pass me because her own climb na one hand!!) wey I use push the ball comot. How I no touch wire die I no know till today.

Anyway, when I reach ground na Reverend Father with kokobo dey wait me, all de friends and my sister don pick race. Come see as the wicked man whip my yansh and legs finish.


My own Dangerous Thing Part 2
Omo, I love beans no be die. Na only once a week we fit chop am. Na im my Sister (the same craze one) come bet me her forthcoming plate of beans say I no fit jump down from first floor balcony as dem do for Mission Impossible last sunday. See me see perfect jump (altho my legs pain me small but man tink of double beans instead).

Instead of giving me her beans, she did amebo and I got parental koboko instead. Na wa oh.



Many many more episodes, I must have got special protection from the God of Ajekpako Chidren

Wiz-Prince:
Hi Peeps, Lets Test Our English Knowledge.

I Know Some of You Thinks English Is Simple But i Bet You'll Find It Difficult in This Aspect!

...Please Translate

"HOW MANY YEARS YOU TAKE SENIOR ME"

To Simple and Correct English... Let The Fun Begin.

The original question sef, is not efficient. The beauty of pidgin, proper pidgin mind, is how it strips the language to the bare minimum. Simple, effective, understood.

So instead of the above, you should say

WETIN U TAKE SENIOR ME?


Contd ../
U WAN COME HERE BEGIN DO YANGA?
U DEY CRAZE, WAIT MAKE I COMOT SHIRT FOR BODI

(Sorry - got carried away - love ma pidgin oh)

Not a lot of companies were jumping over themselves to be involved in this Transmission consultancy even though it is the lowest risk activity in the entire privatization scheme. One where you had no responsibility for capital mobilization, just manage this system as best as you can and get paid. I was involved in trying to put together several consortia to take a look but Manitoba was one of those that hung in there.

And, oh, as a Nigerian I was pleased with the selection of Manitoba Hydro because their reputation confers some comfort for potential investors in other sectors of the industry. The selection process for a "Consultant" is not that difficult, evaluate the qualifications against a minimum standard nd select one with the lowest fee proposal.

It is done everywhere else, everyday. The assets belong to Nigeria but the reorganization of the entity managing it is long overdue for it to manage our transmission system effectively.

If this has been scuppered at the altar of "head-in-the-sand" PHCN workers afraid of positive change, (i) it is a sad day for Nigeria and; (ii) I'm glad I am not invested in Nigeria out of a conscious decision made long ago,

To the OP, I reached the conclusion that life deserves better than the ugliness displayed here. If you care to look at my posting history, it might show I hadly post here anymore and have been on a long posting hiatus. I mainly lurk here and ignore the bile-filled threads. Life is good.

Now, the good news ... I have actually never experienced these level of animosity and division in my daily interactions in Nigeria and with Nigerians. There is an unspoken commonality with my people in real life so I do not recognize a lot of the hate displayed here. Sure, life is tough, we all have issues to deal with but ethincity or rampant tribalism has never been high on the list of things confronting me in my daily struggles.

You see, anonymity conferred by the internet allow people to act our their fantasies and neatly slot into roles they would not otherwise be comfortable with in overt life. Another reason why porn sites are abundant on the net but I digress.

When you enter a room in real life, you wipe your feet but you never leave the values your parents taught you by the doorway. Same here when you login.

You trust this internet so? What if Internet dabaru and misconnect man pikin i-kiss to anoda man i-kiss? Pesin come begin do g-a-y kiss without knowing. Na wa oh?

Dat one na say ISP go see wahala until they gree to temporarily misconnect me to Rihanna i-kiss.

BEWARE

Tigershark spotted off the coast of West Australia

True word my brother. That is what I mean by an enabling environment. Maybe our boys will spend enough time before the WC to gel proper, play many friendlies etc But I still don't think Amodu, given all the time in the world with them, is the person to bring about the change

Ikengawo:
All these playing in european clubs is killiing about of african teams cause they're hardly with their national team and hardly know how to play with each other, where as the teams that dont do the european thing, zambia and egypt, play the most disciplined team work oriented games in africa.

Good luck Santanovva.  But please allow us to refrain from predictions and enjoy the match jeje as neutrals.

Your current run of success is down to a good coach and an enabling environment.  I think we have a better crop of players but just cannot settle on a system that uses them effectively.  Down to the Coach, I think.

Again, good luck but don't write off the Super Eagles.

@OP

Kudos for a brilliant analysis.  It has led to some introspection from me because I was one of those hollering for "quicker play" during the recent SE games.  I also follow the Premier league avidly.

Maybe you are right, we can never replicate what that league emphasizes best and we need to build on our own strengths but we must match their levels of desire.  Too many of our players off the ball were strolling around or jogging, not getting into positions early enough to make the job of the current ballholder easier.  That really p**sed me off and that's something we've lost.  Rashidi Yekini used to set off on his runs before the ball gets to the midfielder he expects to lay the ball ahead of him.  Now, Yakubu just backs into the defender, falls down and complain to the Ref.

While we can all get emotional at the decision, the underlying principle is sound else we end up on that slippery slope FIFA is instinctively programmed to detest and thus keen to avoid.

The decision to pull out the team was unilaterally taken by the Government, not open to negotiation or making of alternative arrangements.  An airplane was already in the air, the PM was on all the airwaves and the players had no choice but to conform.  If the team declared themselves overly traumatized and could not continue, CAF could have given them that bye but the process would have been a bilateral one between the Team and CAF.  What CAF/FIFA cannot allow is a Govt. setting things in stone for football teams.

Note, I am not saying Governments are not allowed to make overiding decisions for teams in their capacity as ultimate guarantors of security.  In fact, no one can stop them but the threat of sanction remains the best weapon against wholesale interference of the worst kind.  I can drive at 200km/h to escape from armed robbers but FRSC should be able to prosecute me when I do that.  Maybe the Judge will mitigate my sentence.

It is a simple principle I support wholeheartedly and that sanction is appropriate for the records. Having said all that, CAF could have made the same point with a suspended sentence and I hope the Togolese get a reduction on appeal, mitigating circumstances and all that.

The wider issue is why an opportunistic act of localized criminality is escalated by those who do not mean well for the Continent at the best of times into a grand act of "Terrorism" with all the emotional baggage. They would see the WC moved from South Africa if they had the chance.

Well, let's ask Hitler ,


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQnT0zp8Ya4

He said these, with the same mouth ?  And the journalists could not question him critically?

Sunny_bobo:
The lawmaker said the State Assembly held a strong session on Wednesday where it deliberated on the Jos crisis and how it has affected the state and country at large and "recommended that natives of Plateau State should be made to return to their state. Giving reasons for the recommendation, Tukur said: "They (Plateau indigenes) are not willing to live in peace with other Nigerians. They don’t even recognise the constitution of Nigeria, which in Sections 41 and 43 says that Nigerians have the right to live in any part of the country and can own property anywhere they choose to live.”

The recent Jos crisis provided an opportunity for us as a collective to first commiserate with the innocents that lost loved ones and possesions.   And also, I believe, to examine the underlying causes of clashes in Nigeria from the elevated position our life experiences and education offered us. 

Sadly, some chose to enter a mental comfort zone whereby Hausas/Muslims/Northerners were the bogeymen, should be killed wherever they be found and excised from the Republic.  I argued this was thinking with a blind spot because such clashes are replicated in one magnitude or the other all over Nigeria.

There has to be a trigger point because people don't wake up on a mandate to begin an sin assembly of violence.  As another sad example illustrates:

30 feared dead in Imo clash
http://www.weekly.dailytrust.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2346:30-feared-dead-in-imo-clash-&catid=41:news&Itemid=30


Look at the trigger point here:

He narrated that the conflict started a particular man was suspected by some group in the area to have killed a woman in the community. The suspected man was beaten to the point of death, whereupon his assailants left him for dead. This did not go down well with people in the area who believe he was innocent of the crime he was being accused of.

On their way to the mortuary to deposit his remains, the accused man woke up and was immediately rushed to the hospital for medical treatment. Trouble started when a family member of the deceased woman started threatening to deal with the community for killing their sister.

The situation led to a serious fight between the family of the deceased and other members of the community, leading to the destruction of lives and properties.

This trigger point detonated into a series of events which seem to have been contained for now.  I notice the emphasis of the authorities on this containment. 

My point being, there was also a trigger point long time ago in Jos.  It detonated at a rate fuelled by other factors (resources, education, tribal suspicion and, yes, maybe religious suspicion).  It may have been contained at that time but grieviances were allowed to remain as the original trigger point was not dealt with and miscreants prosecuted properly. So the cycle continues.

Peace.

@OP

I have heard from Africans of various nationalities that the Nigerian Music scene is the bomb.

Weapon of Ass Destruction?

Abegi, pass me some of wetin u shak

2tait:
I still believe in Naija, the power of Naija. Naija played better than Ghana in that match!
UP Naija, Amodu and the Super Eagles. Nothin spoil!!!
We go show the world how to play soccer in SA. Amodu will rejuvenate the team before then.

And, that's what happens when you hoard guns at home. Even kept in a safe, one day the kids will get at 'em.

donjon:
Rotten american brats!

Thats what happens when you refuse to dicipline your child from a young age!

I don start before you bring your hoping madness here.

AMODU OUT!!

tkb417:
ok, lobby for a change then if that makes you sleep well tonite

Hope.  I hate this word.  Same as Pray.  These words have been appropriated by Nigerians as a free pass for mediocrity.

What is the basis of that hope? The stinking pile of poo that played today.  The lost-in-an-adult-playground coach you employ?

Keep hoping and praying there while countries around you are developing. Positive football was the norm in this tournament apart from when our country played.  Paint drying, slow waka, wrong decisions.

Lobby for a change, not siddon hoping.

Hope ko, hopolopo ni.

Chei,  I vex oh.

tkb417:
but to be fair to Amodu, today the strikers were simply out of sorts

lets hope we'll improve at the mundial

lets cheer up guys
its not all gloom

PLEASE DISBAND THIS TEAM AND REBUILD WITH THE NUCLEUS OF THE PAPA EAGLETS.

MIKEL, OBASI, YAKUBU, NSOFOR, NWANERI, UCHE - BYE.

AMODU AND HIS ENTIRE TEAM OF COACHES/PHYSIOS/COOKS/DRIVERS/ SHOULD BE SACKED.  THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIGH PROFILE PLAYERS.

Chei, see as Governor dey look Ikebe lick mouth like say him jus chop monkey liver soup. But Sharia no fit let am grab the ting. I trust proper owambe Governors like Akala kala kala, dem fila go don jabo with original grabbings.

But e be like say de spraying na advance payment for Suite-Olympics wey follow.

True talk.  Upon all the yabis, this country full my veins oh.  Nah original disease.  

See as grown man like me dey shake like fowl wey catch cold when penalties start.

rasputinn:
Patriotism is such a bi.tch,despite my misgivings about the team,the handlers,NFF,Sports ministry,Yar Adua etc,I can't help it,I'm actually relieved we are through to the semis

I sabi am. Na my former flatmate.  But him no like Ugly-Bettys at all.  Na fine fine Bettys be him style.

Make u try Amodu.  He will go for anything.

ugly Betty:
Please can somebody connect me to the Zambian Coach, am so inlove with hime. he is so cute, hot and sexy. Infact he looks more like an actor than a Footballl coach, if it's female team, i would love to be in that team.

i am still watching the game because of him. please any contact, tell me oooooooo, soooooooooooooooo inlove

This Obasi has become a real goat oh!!

Tatooboy, I feel your pain but please don't generalize on one side.  There are psychopaths and good people on both sides.  As we type, I know for a fact Xtians are providing succour and shelter to Muslims and Muslims are providing same to Xtians.  If it helps, I recommend you hold that thought as it correlates better with your memory of the place.

The problem with Jos is everbody may have forgotten the cause of the original violent episode.  I mean, what was that first spark that engulfed the place and turned the peaceful city we all remembered into a brief cauldron of barbarity?  Once order was regained, was that episode merely swept under the carpet?  Where was the vision and courage of the political leaders on ALL sides to deal with the issue once and for all? 

Instead, the combatants sheathed their machetes and nursed their greviances until the next spark however trivial that may appear.  And we are left with a cycle of violent episodes,  each greater than the last as the number of those bent upon revenge swells exponentially. 

tatooboy:
tears are rolling down my eyes as i write now. i am a yoruba guy born in lagos and i schooled in Jos for 6 years as a teenager, i dreamt i will buy a house one day in Naraguta avenue or maybe rayfield, it hurts me to see the jos, the jos i used to know come down in ashes like this. whats the matter here for God's sake?

why is nigeria going in the direction of perdition in the name of religion? may God punish to those northern elites that use the illiterate ones amongst them. I dont ever forget when i was in school, i had a schoolmate whose father was very wealthy and after mosque hours, the poor would come to their house and collect food and alms and i know this is still a common pracitce in the north, its okay to be kind, but why do they use this opportunity to also turn these so called people into their puns when the need arises?

i am hurt here and kinda ashamed for this country.