₦airaland Forum

Samadict:
You are all saying Abuja corpers influenced their postings. Most batch C stream two corp members didn't. Infact redeployment was too much. I didn't influence it and still dont have a PPA yet. We pick faults instead of standing together...hmmm

I agree with you on this.
many Batch C stream two were deployed to ABJ.

Girls don't care about sex and three other lies I've had to unlearn.

I've heard people say that growing up as an evangelical meant they never talked about sex. This wasn’t my experience. I grew up in the thick of evangelical purity culture and we talked about sex A LOT. We just spent all of that time talking about how and why NOT to have it.

As someone who waited until I was married to have sex, I was assured that I would be guaranteed an easy and rewarding sex life. When reality turned out to be different, I was disappointed and disillusioned. Only through gradual conversations with other married friends did I realize I wasn’t alone.

I started to wonder if maybe the expectations themselves were wrong. Maybe what I’d been told or inferred about post-marital sex simply wasn’t true.

Here are four of the biggest lies about sex I believed before marriage

1. Any and all physical contact is like a gateway drug to sex.

Once in high school I attended a big Christian youth conference. One night, one of the chaperones addressed the girls: “Girls, we have noticed some very inappropriate touching going on...”

The inappropriate touching she meant turned out to be two high school couples in the youth group holding hands. This woman was deadly serious. “I know it may not seem like a big deal to you,” she said. “But hand-holding leads to OTHER THINGS!”

I heard similar things from parents, teachers, church leaders and books. In my church it was not unusual for people to pledge not only to save sex until marriage, but even to save their first kiss for their wedding day. “Don’t start the engine if you aren’t ready to drive the car,” and other similar metaphors warned me that any physical contact was a slippery slope straight into the jaws of fornication.

On this side of things, I can honestly say that there are SO many conscious decisions you have to make between kissing and having sex. Despite what Hollywood says, clothes do not take themselves off and bodies do not magically and effortlessly fit together.

If you are committed to waiting until you’re married to have sex, there are many valid reasons to set boundaries on your physical relationship, but the fear of accidentally having sex shouldn’t be one of them.

2. If you wait until you are married to have sex, God will reward you with mind-blowing sex and a magical wedding night. 


Before my wedding night, I had been told that honeymoon sex isn’t usually the best sex. I had heard that good sex takes work. I knew that it would probably be uncomfortable at first. But what nobody ever, EVER told me was that it was possible that it just might not work at all at first. On my wedding night, my mind and heart were there, but my body was locked up tighter than Maid Marian’s chastity belt.

I entered marriage with the firm conviction that God rewards those who wait, only to find myself confounded by the mechanics. I felt like an utter failure, both as a wife and a woman. And while we did (eventually) get things working, this was hard, frustrating, embarrassing and a huge blow to our confidences.

Saving sex for marriage is not a guarantee that you will have great sex or that sex will be easy. All it guarantees is that the person you fumble through it with will be someone who has already committed to love you forever.

3. Girls don’t care about sex.

As a teenager and young adult I cannot count the times I heard something to this effect: “Boys are very visual and sexual, so even though you aren’t thinking about sex, you need to be careful because you are responsible for not making them stumble.”

Let’s disregard for now how degrading this is toward men and focus on the underlying assumption that boys are sexual and girls aren’t. For years I was told that “girls don’t care about sex.” Well, as it turns out, I do. This has been a deep source of shame for me. For a long time I felt like a freak, until I started to realize that I wasn’t the only one, not by a longshot. But I never knew it because no one would admit it.

Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) think about sex. Many girls (yes, even Christian girls) like sex. This doesn’t make you a freak. It doesn’t make you unfeminine or unnatural. God created us, both men AND women, as sexual beings. Enjoying sex makes you a human being created by God, in the image of God, with the capacity and desire to love—physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and sexually.

MANY GIRLS (YES, EVEN CHRISTIAN GIRLS) THINK ABOUT SEX. MANY GIRLS (YES, EVEN CHRISTIAN GIRLS) LIKE SEX. THIS DOESN’T MAKE YOU A FREAK.

4. When you get married, you will immediately be able to fully express yourself sexually without guilt or shame.

Many Christians have spent years—from the day they hit puberty until their wedding day—focusing their energy on keeping their sex drives in check. Then, in the space of a few hours, they are expected to stop feeling like their sexuality is something they must carefully control and instead be able to express it freely. And not only that—but express it freely with another person.

Many of us have programmed guilt into ourselves—this is how we keep ourselves in check throughout our dating relationships. And that “red light” feeling we train ourselves to obey doesn’t always go away just because we’ve spoken some vows and signed some papers.

It took me several months to stop having that sick-to-my-stomach guilty feeling every time I was together with my husband. Not everyone experiences this, but for the many people who do, it’s terribly isolating. Once again we’re experiencing something our churches and communities never acknowledged as a possibility. We feel alone and broken and filled with a profound sense that this isn’t the way it’s meant to be.

I don’t regret waiting until I was married to have sex, and I’m not advocating that churches stop teaching that sex is designed for marriage. But I do think there is something seriously wrong with the way we’ve handled the conversation.

If our reason for saving sex until marriage is because we believe it will make sex better or easier for us, we’re not only setting ourselves up for disappointment, but we’re missing the point entirely. Those of us who choose to wait do so because we hold certain beliefs about the sacredness of marriage and about God's intentions and wishes for humanity, and we honor these regardless of whether they feel easier or harder. In the meantime, we in the evangelical church has a lot of work to do correcting the distorted ways we talk about sex and sexuality, especially to our youth.


http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationships/4-lies-church-taught-me-about-sex

Why then are they using the religion to perpetrate evil?
That means they have a common goal I guess.

Better tell him now other wise....
Even you go join clean the shit later.

Breast sucking is good for the health. Only to married Men oo.
If you are not married and you suck; my hand no dey oo

I think its time this NYSC should be scraped out of existence and allow young graduates to seek employment on time or rather still engage themselves in business.

Criminal reconcile with criminals make no difference other than #shitting themselves.

Story for the gods......
The Devil was once an Angel.

How my black brothers were treated as slaves in their country.
And we are still selling ourselves out to slavery till now.

Let her go to church for cleansing.

Propaganda.

Bisjosh:
That means the girl is not working nor in school cos if she is, there would be more freedom for her.

The lady would need to fight for her freedom herself else she go reach 40 before she marry o.



My advice is that he gives her a month to overcome this shyness or move on.

Thanks dear but funny enough she is rounding off her NYSC service come february.

Tallesty1:
SO YOU’VE GONE/GOING home to your old village to spend Christmas with the parents.

Well, Watch Out Cause You Gotta See At Least One Of These People.

1: Old classmates: Oh, look who’s back too.(We all hear this statement when we meet old time pals.) After exchanging niceties you’ll spend the rest of the evening avoiding each other if they are after your pocket. Some of them are really cool to hang out with.

2. The old colleague: You worked with this person or s/he was your best man/woman during your school years, but haven’t spoken to them since last year, on Christmas Eve, because you always see them on Christmas Eve. No matter what you’ve been through, conversation will always come back to the other people you mutually worked with.

3: The Newscaster: The knows about everything, all relationships, all breakups, all marriages, abortions, and every single call your crush recieves, just name it. They know everything.

4: People Who Are Rearching For Their Missing Rib: These ones are easy to spot, it is written all over their them that they are not in the village for xmass. It can be seen from the way they dress, talk, greet rich folks etc.

5: People Who Try To Be And Live Like The People In Town: These ones are everywhere, they stay in the village but once it is xmass time they will try in every possible way to upgrade to the level of those that will come back from the city.

6: People Who do No Other Business Except Farming. I call them the real village people, these folks are quite, you hardly see them in joints. They only visit you in the evening when all the little ones have gone out. They will gist until late in the night then they will excuse themself to go and attend to one thing or the other.

7: People Who Are Not Bothered With High Standard Of Living: Pheww, I call these folks the Malaysian guys. They spend money like it grow on trees, they buy beer in crates, they carry the finest babes. You heart is darned if their kind fall for your girlfriend.

8: People Who Practice Witchcraft and Other Form Of Spiritualism And Divination: These ones wear rings and amulets to scare people, they always bragg about all the nothings they have done to people. They want people to respect and fear them.

9: The Gossipers: The only known different between these group and the Newscasters is that they spice their story with lies to make it more interesting; especially when the gist is in your favour or when you buy them drinks.

10: Add It


cc
Tosyn2Much.


I Just Upgraded My Os To Tosyn v5.0 And The First Thing That Poped up in My Brain Was The Idea To Create This Thread.

@OP please modify your post;
I believe its suppose to be SEARCHING not REARCHING.
I intentionally refuse to bold it though.

Bisjosh:
And he's sure she isn't married?

No; she is not married, I know that 100%

So the igbos needs change too.
Anyone who votes for GEJ must be a very wicked soul that has lost its trails back to human environment long ago. #WeNeedChange

This babe no dey old?

Hi Nairalanders
A brother of mine needs a serious advice which I know only me can't give so I decide to share this with my E-family so he can be helped.
He is dating a lady from a strict home; they have being dating for 2 years now all against the parent's wish...
This lady is above 25 years old but she doesn't have freedom to do what a grown up should do which is seriously affecting her relationship with my brother.
They can't see each other as please, they can't talk on phone without her being so careful about who is watching her.
This dude is just tired of this kind of life because he wants this relationship to lead to a fruitful marriage.
Is this how he is going to continue or should he throw it all away and move on?

Make una leave Buhari for God sake.

AbuMaryam1:
Buhari look more corporate, GEJ Look like Tilapia fish, no wonder drunkard fisherman.

Lol;z you wicked Ooº°Ú Ú°ºoo.

Collynzo22:
It is not a good thing, because a man who cannot manage his resources nor invest properly, cannot manage that of a vast nation like Nigeria.
He borrowed money to buy his nomination form, he took a loan to build his houses.
Buhari will sink Nigeria into huge debts if he is given the chance.

Buhari has earned millions as general, north east governor, head of state, PTF chairman and he is still earning millions in pensions every month, yet no tangible investment to show for it.
It is either he is a liar or a very very poor manager of resources.

You got Ish ooo.
Why don't you drop your sentiment and analyse right..
What do you want to talk about Nyerere the former Tanzania President?
Don't ruin your own Country because of sentiment.

What is it with you people and Buhari?
You guys should let him be for God sake.
Or are you guys going to persecute him as you did Jesus?

End Time Struggles.

Story for the gods

What's next to unclothedness if not this?

Women!
Since the time of Adam they are yet to change.

Lolz!
They believe Nigerian blood is corroded with bureaucracy bottleneck.

PDP Cowards!

Criminal.