₦airaland Forum

If he likes let him play till 4040, (na im wahala), If he is not in form or good enough, Nigeria will dump him straighaway. He should stop kidding himself about getting to his peak. If this is his peak, then he is not good enough. Nigerians need a central defender with more,

One night, a private jet was flying over New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, Johnnny and his Dad. Suddenly, an oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.

"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped. Johnnny and his Dad looked at one another. Finally, Johnnny's Dad spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."

Johnnny smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."

Johnnny and the nun

One day Johnnny gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says "Hey guy I know how to get that nun to have sex with you, "

Naturally Johnnny asks him how, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun goes to an old graveyard to pray for god to forgive her for her past, and that he should dress up like god and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has sex with you.

Johnnny gives his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.
Later that evening Johnnny gets ready for his big night and drives down to the graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says "Behold, I have heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!"

The nun agrees but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. Johnnny agrees and once they are finished Johnnny jumps back and pulls off his mask and says "Surprise, its me the guy on the bus!"
The nun jumps up and pulls off the mask and says "Surprise, its me the bus driver!"

What is he expecting to gain from this complaints sef? Is he expecting fans to pity him?
Or he wants other teams to pave way or throw their nets open for his team because he thinks his strikers are not good enough?
Or maybe he wants God to drop a striker into his lap or something? This one is crying over spilt milk o jare. He should work on those strikers he has o jare, and stop demoralising them. He has no excuse but to give barca a good run this season o. The expectations or should I say hype on him is too high o.

Make dem leave the guy alone, abeg. Na dem dey see everything,

Na so dem do, do, do, wey dem destroy Tiger woods life, now wey the guy life don rotten, dem don dump am. Now na Wayne rooney turn. Wen dem don spoil him life for am finish, dem go shift go some oda people, maybe na Pope or Obama own we go hear next.

Sorry o, Madagascar, na forget, we forget. No be our fault, the plane that is supposed to carry the memo still dey mechanic place. and our website no get connection because of PHCN and you see, we no get credit for our phone to call you. Don't worry next time we go trekk come your place come tell you (Ara ija leyin wa).

‎SAFETY TIPS ON HOW TO IDENTIFY FAKE POLICEMEN AT A GLANCE.

Here are some tips to guide us in our SECURITY CONSCIOUSNESS.

Based on occurences of armed robbers dressing as policemen, it is the time we live in; we must learn to deal with it by GOD's Grace.

1. Number tag of a real policeman must be six digits, less than six, is fake.

2. Only female police officers have their numbers begin with "0", any policeman with number beginning with "0" is fake.

3. Every policeman's name tag is woven to the shirt, no more removable name tags.

4. A distinction between the normal policeman and the SPY (supernumerary) police personnel, is that a SPY number must be either three or four digits with the word "SPY" boldly inscribed on their uniform shoulder.

Please, at night be vigilant, always roll-up your windows in traffic, central lock your doors, be double sure they are true policemen, if
they are not, be strong and speed off. Never get frightened.

Be watchful, they are everywhere; educate your family members, neighbours, and friends. GOD Almighty will continue to protect us.
SENT BY THE NIGERIAN POLICE

Ajike:
But come to think of it, we can take this topic to Jonatha on his facebook page. abeg poster redirect this to Jonatha's page. Any of them who cannot stand Nigeria hospitals can do so on his/her own pocket and let c if they will spend up to N450bn annually. awon alai ni ronu, ara Galathia

I think the bolded should be "Awon Alai ni ronu, ara Naijiria".

@ Poster

I don't think the money is coming back o.

We don't know who the real fraudsters are here, Is the wonder-banks o or the government that stopped their operations and keep silent over giving the money of depositors back.  who be the real thief (_{Ole gbe, Ole gba})

My sincere thanks to Ayodele123 for this info. It is very laudable to see that there are still some of us nairalanders who opts for helping others without seeming to get something from it. May God Continue to bless the works of your hands.

We may not be able to repay you for this info, but I know the Good God will reward you in an unexpected way. (Bo ba ku die ki omo oloore ja si koto, Mona-mona a tan ina imole funn). Amen.

@ Poster thanks jare for this info given out free like a nairalander should do.
You are not like others (whose name must not be mentioned) who will always look for opportunity to extort money from people in the name of helping others even their own forum members.

Every thing in Nigeria is about money, money, money, there is nothing like sharing in the spirit of being your brother's keeper.

amyliajane:
pls has anyone received payment from this one they call cash stream concept , i did business with this lady called nwangap by the user name name here on nairaland, before now she's been updating me on what is happening, not until last week that i was due for payment, no word from her again, all the mails i sent were not answered and she has stopped taking her calls up till yesterday.
could this yet be another scam? and coming from a lady who i thought was genuine.

Are you sure And I was about giving it a try o. Thank God.

They must be mad to do this

Foolish racist people So this is what Martins too will suffer when he leaves.

This is so so bad. Walahi

denzel2009:
^^^^^Hmmmnmmn Kola Olawuyi

Nnkan mbee!!!

I wish Jayjay the best o.

My choices are:

Best Goalkeeper = Julio Ceasar
Best Defender = Gerard Pique
Best Midfielder = Xavi Hernandez
Best Striker = Lionel Messi


Lets have yours

UEFA Club Football Awards nominees named
Published: Monday 16 August 2010, 13.10CETThere are 12 names on the shortlist for the UEFA Club Footballer of the Year award, with the winner to be announced during the UEFA Champions League draw in Monaco on 26 August.

UEFA has announced the nominees for the UEFA Club Football Awards with a total of 12 players shortlisted both for the positional awards and for the overall prize of UEFA Club Footballer of the Year.

The UEFA Club Football Awards will be presented during the UEFA Champions League group stage draw in Monaco on Thursday 26 August, with three players apiece in contention for the best goalkeeper, best defender, best midfielder and best forward awards.

The nominations are decided by the coaches of the 16 teams that reached the knockout stage of the 2009/10 UEFA Champions League. Each coach has the opportunity of voting for the individual positional prizes as well as to name their choice for UEFA Club Footballer of the Year 2010.

One of the following 12 players in line for a positional award will be presented with the main item of silverware during the awards ceremony at the Grimaldi Forum, which begins at 17.45CET next Thursday.

• UEFA Best Goalkeeper of the Year
Júlio César (FC Internazionale Milano)
Hugo Lloris (Olympique Lyonnais)
Víctor Valdés (FC Barcelona)

• UEFA Best Defender of the Year
Lúcio (FC Internazionale Milano)
Maicon (FC Internazionale Milano)
Gerard Piqué (FC Barcelona)

• UEFA Best Midfielder of the Year
Xavi Hernández (FC Barcelona)
Arjen Robben (FC Bayern München)
Wesley Sneijder (FC Internazionale Milano)

• UEFA Best Forward of the Year
Lionel Messi (FC Barcelona)
Diego Milito (FC Internazionale Milano)
Wayne Rooney (Manchester United FC)


Source: http://en.uefa.com/uefa/mediaservices/newsid=1513304.html

You guys again with your "God exist/God does not exist" arguments and ideologies.

Can't you just leave everyone of us that is indifferent to the issues alone and go back to your thread and fight urselfs to death ?  Umh?   Umh?    
Why should you guys take ur baseless, unnecessary and unproductive arguments everywhere on nairaland?

You guys have to come in here and spoil our fun for us.  We were enjoying ourselves until you "KILL JOYS" showed up.

Good innovation. Good thinking.

How I wish I have the opportunity to bring out
my idea for safety of aeroplane passengers during plane crash like this.

How I wish there are research institutes that are free and accessible to all in Nigeria.

How I wish we could just lend a cue from this developed countries.

How I wish we could just do away with selfishness and self centeredness and build a country that has the potential of being greater than even this developed countries.

How I wish! Oh! How I wish!!

Just saw one on LTV just now

"FINGER OF GOD CHURCH"

Let us post our ideas or suggestions on how to move our Super Eagles forward here.

This is my own suggestion:
I will not delve into politics and its attendant intrigues but I will like to give a word about constituting a new set of eagles for the country.

First of all, bring the best coaches this country has to offer to a boardroom type of roundtable discussion on what ideas they have of getting the best out of this county's football.

Get the best four of the coaches out of the lot and pair them, and ask each group of two coaches to go and sought out players that they think are the best the country has to offer for the present. Let them submit their lists, where you have a player or more in the two lists, write them out and divide them equally in the two teams based on their position of play.

Then let each team prepare for a week at least and then play them against one another, atleast twice. Contract a technical committee (could be local or foreign), who will be able to pick out players with potentials and talents which could be harnessed.


This is entirely my own humble opinion sha.