₦airaland Forum

captainrock:
Airport attendant-- can I have ur passport sir?
Onazi---- this is it sir, u can have it
Airport attendant-- alright, you can move to that position to check-in to the next available flight to Nigeria
Onazi-- *laughs* its like their is a mix-up somewhere i'm supposed to be on the next flight to Russia
Airport attendant-- Russia!!! to do what? you want to go and hawk mango dere or what?
Onazi-- wtf is wrong with this niccur? I'm going to play for Nigeria
Airport attendant-- Tufiakwa!!!! Godforbid badt thing, my friend its either you go to that line for the next flight to Nigeria or I send you to Sudan... Anofia!!!!!

.

Na the only thing wey fit am be that.
Dude was all shades of bad, wrong and evil today.
Hin gift England their second goal sef.

Please and please, Rohr, bia show here, you see those two boys called Joel Obi and Onazi, biko pursue them comot before it is too late. Remove those two and we would have defeated England.

Mega Fisheries has for sale Top Quality Juveniles and Post Juveniles Catfish.

We assure you of quality and integrity and you can hold us to our words. WE DO NOT SELL RUNTS, as we know this is bad for our business and your business.

A trial with us will keep you coming continually.
Out Farm is located at Toll-Gate, Alagbado, Lagos.
For more info, call this number: 08166829641 or 07083724005.

Thank God it wasn't fatal.

Lomprico2:
'Its' can be accepted in place of "it's" Using 'an' for a non vowel is a totally wrong. You can not even use it vocally.

"Its in place of it's" "is a totally wrong".

At your pace, I will forget all of proper english.

The General Overseer of MFM commenced the Cross-Over ministration with Hebrews 12 and enjoined Christians to run their race well as Heaven is the goal.
Going into the Year 2018 where he gave 45 prophecies, He said the number 18 signifies Bondage in the spirit. The children of Isreal were under bondage of Moab for 18 years and the woman with the issue of blood was bound for 18 years. He however said for Children of God, they can turn this around.

Going into prophecies, he said
1. This is a year where bondage will be repackaged and reloaded.
2. This is a year where the pestle will defeat the mortar
3. There will be terrible attacks on several marriages this year and the family that prays together, stays together.
4. There will be wild and merciless striking of infirmities this year.
5. Spiritual weakness will be a tragedy this year.
6. It's a year where it either you fight or you perish.
7. It's a year of deliverance from long time bondages.
8. There will be a demonstration of Gods power this year.
9. God will kill rebellious leaders and kings
10. Many will overcome their generational bondages
11. It's a tragic year for those with Absalom's spirit
12. There shall be disgrace for the strong man of terror and fear this year.
13. Anger from Heaven will bring to an end shameless and perverse leaders and nations.
14. Many who live a holy life will be empowered to rewrite their family history
15. It's a terrible year for Ahitophel and Gehazi ministers
16. Plenty of yokes of barrenness will be broken
17. Wasting powers planted in some yoing people will manifest
18. Rough year from modern day Jonahs
19. It's a year of geh double left-leg, the animal will pursue the hunter.
20. It's a year of the madness of the wind
21. A year of masquerading captivity
22. Regular practice of personal deliverance will yield benefits this year.
23. Laziness in prayer this year will cause havoc
24. There will be a stings from strange insects
25. Nations against God will face Judgement.
26. There will be an acidic rain of generational bondages
27. God will raise non-compromising agents of redemption and deliverance
28. Judgement on spirit of disloyalty this year
29. Terror will swallow terror and vomit poison
30. We need prayers against scientific witchcraft
31. It's a rough year for alcoholics
32. Year of revolution, revelation, redemption, renewal, revival, restoration, righteousness, reorientation, refreshment and remembrance
33. Learn to cast your net on the right hand side

34. It a year of 1 Samuel 3 vs 11, where God said He will do a new thing that will makes ears tingle

35. A year of great fall for corruption
36. A year of divine sidedness positively and negatively
37. A year of strange changes physically and spiritually
38. A year where Global Economic down turn will be prevalent save for prayers
39. God will raise up radical prophettesses this year
40. There will be a rage of emptiers and wasters for the rebellious this year; youths should be careful
41. It's a year of horrible disgrace for thise who deal with hard drugs and live a care-free life
42. Those who bank with God shall reap great reward
43. Discernment is highly essential this year, personal development is necessary
44. There shall be political confusion and personalities against this nation shall destroy themselves.

HOW TO COPE AND DEAL WITH THE YEAR.

1. Key into the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, meekness, faith and temperance.

2. Be obedient.
3. Have faith in God.
4. Have a right heart.
5. Worship God well and pray well.

Our year is anchored on these scripture: Psalm 110 vs 1, Gal 6 vs 9. Luke 10 vs 19.

He Declared the Year, A YEAR OF EXTRAORDINARY TURNAROUND.

Contrary to the reports of the thread that has just graced front-page on Nairaland. Dr. D.K.Olukoya did not dissuade the payment of tithe while preaching today. He in fact enjoined the wise to indulge in it. There is a danger in half-reports and half-truths, they are more dangerous than lies and that is what the OP did with that thread.

I now present to you what Dr. D.K.Olukoya actually said today. This is the closest I could get to his exact words-" there is nowhere in the scriptures where offering and tithes is made compulsory, but those who have moved with God have grown beyond tithes and offering (they pay more), I do not say that pastors do not steal, no, some of them steal, but that is why they will lay hands on the sick and the sick would not recover, because they steal God's money, if because of this however you do not want to give, pack your money, locate God's house address and go and give God. When we started MFM we were not collecting offering at all, we only started when we realized people must be blessed( give to receive)".

The above was the closest I could get to his words in today's sermon titled "the power of primitive faith". He relayed biblical scriptures of how God moved in times past and why our times experience a dearth (lack) of the power and move of God and he attributed it's cause to several reasons; fear, sin and others. He enjoined a returning to the ways of the Ancients of Days as God has not changed, he enjoined Christian back to the way of seeking God through prayers, fasting and holiness, that we not only speak and talk but walk and work in the power of God.

Note: I have only felt a need to correct the erroneous position formerly laid and attributed to D.K.O. This I have done only to educate and properly inform. I have no other reason or interest whatsoever.

Contrary to the reports of the thread that has just graced front-page on Nairaland. Dr. D.K.Olukoya did not dissuade the payment of tithe while preaching today. He in fact enjoined the wise to indulge in it. There is a danger in half-reports and half-truths, they are more dangerous than lies and that is what the OP did with that thread.

I now present to you what Dr. D.K.Olukoya actually said today. This is the closest I could get to his exact words-" there is nowhere in the scriptures where offering and tithes is made compulsory, but those who have moved with God have grown beyond tithes and offering (they pay more), I do not say that pastors do not steal, no, some of them steal, but that is why they will lay hands on the sick and the sick would not recover, because they steal God's money, if because of this however you do not want to give, pack your money, locate God's house address and go and give God. When we started MFM we were not collecting offering at all, we only started when we realized people must be blessed( give to receive)".

The above was the closest I could get to his words in today's sermon titled "the power of primitive faith". He relayed biblical scriptures of how God moved in times past and why our times experience a dearth (lack) of the power and move of God and he attributed it's cause to several reasons; fear, sin and others. He enjoined a returning to the ways of the Ancients of Days as God has not changed, he enjoined Christian back to the way of seeking God through prayers, fasting and holiness, that we not only speak and talk but walk and work in the power of God.

Note: I have only felt a need to correct the erroneous position formerly laid and attributed to D.K.O. This I have done only to educate and properly inform. I have no other reason or interest whatsoever.

I ll give you a three days therapy.
Even though you are no longer interested in religion, get a KJV bible, read it assiduously like your being depends on it. Resist the voices and urge to stop.

Do this for just three days, it helped my mental strength, and a kid in my moms Sunday school class. Give me a reply after three days.

She obviously feels she has done no wrong; so she snaps pictures away.

The senselessness and wickedness in this country. A stupid sense of entitlement to the best things; best cars, best houses, even the best life. This shoot is Nigeria shown in one picture.

dagreensblog:
dial *141# and follow up the prompt for monthly social bundle!
cheers!

Awesome! Thank you.

dagreensblog:
1GB for #300

its a monthly social plan that allows access to WhatsApp, Facebook and Opera mini.

Wow, that's cool, what's the code.

dagreensblog:
Me and my friend have been unable to access google search and Google services like Gmail for a couple of days now.

Does this mean that it has been scrapped?

Are their other users experiencing the same issue?

What's the Airtel social plan? It's how much monthly? How does it work?

Interesting. Disaster pushed him to God.

Sagay insists presidency obeys court order and desist from politicizing Dasuki's bail.
Sagay lambasts APC leadership.
Sagay puts Oyegun in his place.
Sagay though a part of the presidency is not asslicking the presidency, learn Lauretta, learn.
I am loving Prof. Sagay.

yeyerolling:
those days wey i dey enta bus from iyana ipaja to VI chai. if u wear white, ur cloth go don stain, what of when rain start when u still dey bus stop.

I still do my brother. You see, mine is farther than Iyana-Ipaja. You know where it gets worse, I am a lawyer and I have to wear white shirts every working day of the week. It is a daily struggle to keep my white clean. I shake my head each day I get back home, I trust God will do something soon anyway.

BabaRamotu1988:
i feel no sympathy for a terrorist rapist
na this young ones dey wicked pass
rest in pieces

if my post pain you then google the reason or just do the Oshiomole

you will have young ones too, remember.

zionmade1:
So we should start crying abi.
mtchwwww.

your post is not zionmade.

Ranchhoddas:
I'm not.
Just thought I should give you an option since Zemandi is refusing to give you what you want.

OK. Thank you. Registered already,doing my research and it already is looking better than Zemandi, thank you again.

Ranchhoddas:
Why not try iwriter?

onto it then, are you on iwriters? how is it run? do i bid for tasks?

JUBSAM:
Good evening guys

Hope we are all doing good!

Please I'll love to get some feedback from those who have registered and have written an assignment.

What are your challenges? Let's see how I can be of any help.

Anticipating your response!

It is getting frustrating, I have received no assignment yet, this is my second Zemandi account. I even sent a mail to support for an assignment, no luck. Perhaps you can help me create an account that will receive assignments. I use a laptop and my location is US on the account, still no luck. You can help me create an account with josyom1999@gmail.com. It may be that I still am doing something wrong.

All very true.

Just how much do I fill in the expected salary section, who has an idea on the GT pay pls?

Shrekyfiona:
Hiya People.
I need ur urgent advice

I currently work with Stanbic Ibtc bank and earn 120k monthly(did not join as a graduate trainee), the bank is an amazing bank, so much respect for each other irrespective of rank and has the world best work environment (as far as am concerned) with great work-life balance.
Recently, am undergoing Access bank's graduate trainee recruitment exercise and am currently awaiting the TMI(Top mgt interview).
I have read lots of reviews abt Access bank and they are quite scary and crazy. The reviews painted the work environment and work-life balance black but I always try to convince myself that I wouldn't have such ugly experiences.
Now guys, am in dire need of ur advise. I plan quitting Stanbic for Access bank cos of the salary(heard Access pays 249+, yes am aware of the crazy bond) I also feel am gonna have an amazing experience joining as a graduate trainee and it will also mean me starting off nice am will be duly exposed positively but I don't know what awaits me there. I know training school awaits me though but am not scared of it, at the same time am not Einstein.
.Juxtaposing: Stanbic increases/ reviews salary annually according to performance, promotion is fair and transparent. Has unquestionable integrity, am currently doing my M.sc online at the university of south Wales and got a recommendation letter from my HR to the school, am so much at home with Stanbic but I really want to try something new and amazing


Dear Nairalanders and fellow bankers in the house, pls pls pls I beg you, kindly help a soul and guide me against making a mistake I might forever regret.

I don't want to ask for advise from colleagues as am still keeping my plans low and wouldn't want to shot myself in the foot.

NB: Am 24 and have worked in Stanbic for a year plus

My younger sister works at access and the stress is killing. Pay is good but they will tire you out.When the time comes, make a goodly thought out decision. Btw- how did you get in pls? Some of us need that kind of chance too.

opestein:
wat os version are u running on ur iPhone?

running 7. fits the description for the app, what version are you running on yours? how can i fix this?

It seems it is a general problem with iPhone 4 and 5. Is there a way I can get the app outside downloading from my phone, like from iTunes or something?

opestein:
Have u tried uninstalling and reinstalling?

I have done this. I even deleted it outright, still no luck.

Gurus in the house, please help me out, my whatsapp on iPhone 4 said to update, it expired today, I tried updating, compatibility with phone was okay as the details stated it will work with iOS 7, I have not been able to download it. I read the review, other iPhone 4 users were also complaining bitterly, and iPhone 5 users also. What do i do? Is this the end of whatsapp or iPhone 4 and 5? Please help me, I deleted my whatsapp to even try and get it afresh, still no way, I can't imagine not on whatsapp, is it time to trash my phone 4?

Gurus in the house, please help me out, my whatsapp on iPhone 4 said to update, it expired today, I tried updating, compatibility with phone was okay as the details stated it will work with iOS 7, I have not been able to download it. I read the review, other iPhone 4 users were also complaining bitterly, and iPhone 5 users also. What do i do? Is this the end of whatsapp or iPhone 4 and 5? Please help me, I deleted my whatsapp to even try and get it afresh, still no way, I can't imagine not on whatsapp, is it time to trash my phone 4?

Frankicent:
Bro me too ooo. I was on a 3 days fasting.... On the 2nd day at night after praying.. I dreamt I had sex.. . I was disappointed.. .. Should I continue ni to finish the 3days fasting?

Obviously continue. You see I cannot say I have attained. However there was a time when I had these issues, after intense prayers or in the middle of fasting, then I have murky or weird dreams, it was disappointing but I shrugged them off. Those incidents have not repeated themselves in years, I have overcome them and when it pray now, I receive proper revelations. I cannot remember having sex in the dream in say the past 3-4 years. It was repeated then, but now it's over, so continue. Like my pastor will say, hit the wall of your affliction with continuos prayers until it crumbles, pray without ceasing and it helps to pray in the holyghost too.