₦airaland Forum

metodman:
I once posted this but mistakenly on the Joke Section,

I was just wondering if we as men can marry or even consider marrying a lady who once or more than once aborted for us just to satisfy us.

Will you respect her for respecting you, i mean dancing to your tune?

Will you love her more?

How will you see her?

Would you have preferred marrying a lady that aborted for someone else?

And what makes you think that she aborted to satisfy you?
I can see that you know so very little about the women folks! NAIVETY!
IF SHE DID NOT WANT TO ABORT THE PREGNANCY, NOTHING YOU SAID WOULD HAVE (EVER) MADE HER DO THAT!

Now that we understand each other, let us continue.

Your decision to marry this girl should be based on these facts:

-     Enjoying her company
-     Love
-     Home making
-     Her resourcefulness
-     Attitude tom children
-     Ability to run your home well while you are away

The list ios endless and is not chronicled in the order of importance.

Your decision should not be based on just because she terminated a pregnancy at your insistence; she might not have wanted to keeop it anyway (how many single girls would do do that?)

Old boy, what sort of guy are you anyway?

That was the dumbest thing you would have said to a lady you are dating OR ANY OTHER LADY FOR THAT MATTER!
What on earth would have made you say that?
What were you implying?
That she had been sleeping around, have kid(s), done series of abortions etc?

Mammie, you were dead wrong!

While the above points could cause a lady's breast to sag fact still remain that there are exceptions and you had no right generalizing!

Havent you seen girls that even at the formative stage of their breasts the "things" are downward-bound?
WETIN YOU GO TALK ABOUT THAT ONE!

As some of us are created short while others are created tall;
Some with big digger and expander while others with with small ones;
Some Big-sized while other are yet small;
Some light-complexioned while others are light-complexioned.
SO ALSO IS THE ISSUE OF BREASTS!

IT ALL HAS TO DO WITH PEOPLES' GENETIC ANTECEDENTS!

If the girl dey vex, NA YOU CAUSE AM!

To quote a poster:

"GBAM"

A degree does not guarantee success in mariage; IT DOES NOT EVEN GUARANTTEE SUCCESS IN businesses because we have seen so many degee holders who run down businesses entrusted to them - SOME OF OUR BANKS' CEOs for instance

It (degrees) just gives you an insight and better understanding of your area of discipline and other areas of life (this you can also do without a degee) as the case may be depending on your kind of person you are (ambitous and innovative wise)

It is not only women degree holders that do shakara - men too do that.

The point is that a good, reasonable, kind, understanding, patient, down-to-earth-person no matter how educated he/she is will always maintain those humble and noble traits. The same goes too for snubs and little minds, and other negative people (their education does not improve them). You know why? Changes does not come from without but from within! And this makes the degrees superficial!

What make one a degree holder anyway?

Answer: the CERTIFICATE!

Outside that, we are all equal and the same!

Even some so called degree holders are really EYE SORES when you come close to and hear them talk.

My mother never saw the four walls of a classroom but she ran and still run our home (VERY) well.

On a last note people, Degrees does not put foods on our tables because if it does WE WOULD NOT HAVE SO MANY RETCHED PROFESSORS AND LECTURERS who can hardly feed themselves not to talk of helping others!
WHO ARE BENT ON THE GOVERNMENT ALLOWING THEM TO STAY IN THE CLASSROOMS TILL THINE-KINGDOM-COME!

We would not have so many of them working for the so called money-miss-roads.

I should not be misconstrued for not supporting education; No! But education without a good foundation and good character and good business sense is worst than the MOST UNEDUCATED person.

RILE ME IF you want; this is (just) my stance!

olanajim:
I don't think I know more than that, Thanks for the offer, let everyone else contribute. The problems of life is not the same, Some people may think money is their problems, while others thinks it is a bed-wetting wife, Yet, there are those who have think it is their wives's obesity.

I therefore cannot say that this exactly is the problem. But we can just mention what we are familiar with.

YOU do well.

Who are you anyway?

You seem very reasonable and objective.

I like you.

MAKE UNA ASK AM WELL WELL.

olanajim:
I do not agree with number 1 and 3. The number of children has nothing to do with marital disharmony. Instead, you can say the lack of maturity between couples can tear them apart. Children are just excuse for unprepared, and irresponsible parents to disagree.

Number 3 is also too short sighted. What do you say of a wife who is less successful and still manage to influence her husband's decision? The truth is that, it is not a gender thing. It is about how couple ensure effective and meaningful communication. Most of us are gifted in art of talking but impatience in turning it into an effective communication tool. Talking and communicating are not the same. One is liken to a radio jingles, the other always expect a feedback.

To me, the problems in marriage can be :
1. Finance
2. Infidelity
3. Lack or lost of trust
4 impatience
5. Pride, and attempt by one person to dominate the other.
5. Finally, lack of awareness/understanding about marriage. Most people think marriage is all about making love and making babies. They run into trouble when they are tired of love making and has no idea how to spice up the marriage.

Your point is noted. Bear in mind however that there is nothing like a perfect opinion.

Some people would not mind so many kids while others would.

My thread did not in anyway SPECIFY that that was the only problems that could tear a family apart. NO SIR!
You seem to know so much why not post more on such threads?

We could do with your experise

Crying (for a man)m is not a sign of weakness at all but it should not be done at any slight instance.

Crying can be healing/medicinal.

Cry if you most but not because you wnat your woman to be "moved"! That would be cowardice!

there are so many ways you can make her to be "moved"

“Help! Save My Marriage!” You screamed.

But nobody seems to hear you – especially your spouse.
Well, if you are determined to save your marriage,
no matter how things turn out, it can be done.
The only way is to step out of your marriage problems and look from the outside.

Below are 3 simple yet surefire ways to help save your marriage.
Let us get started off with the first one,

1 Stay Patient

By staying patient means you are waiting for a good chance or opportunity for both of you to sit down and start discussing actually what went wrong and finding a solution for it. It also helps by making things take it own course and slowly both will get over with it.

2 Remain calm

This maybe the hardest part of all.
After all, both of you can’t be remaining calm after a heated argument and (maybe) a fight.
If one of you can remain calm and keep the anger in check, chances are,
it going to help you more than it will harm you.

By remaining calm, your mind tends to think clearer and logical.

Thus, solution will come more easily rather than tackling marriage problem head on.

3 Showing care and concern

After the argument/fight, step aside and wait for opportunities to show that you care.
This may happen after 2 or 3 days after argument.

Try sending some short text messages, concern emails or simply greet him or her during morning – small gesture means a lot to someone. If your other half did not find it annoying, just keep doing even though you are the one doing that.
This is to show that you still care and love them as much as last time.

So, now you have 3 simple yet surefire ways to help save marriage, you may want to learn more on how to end all stress and anxiety that you have been enduring and discover more proven ways in getting your marriage back on track.

For more help Send a mail to: theidealman4u@gmail.com

Or call me on 0806 922 0002

Do you sometimes feel that your marriage is blissful?
Well, think again.

Here are some common problems that couples normally take for granted that lead to marriage in crisis:

1 Many children (3+)

Big families are more common in some under developing countries of the world
but still the number of kids in the family must be well thought and planned by couples.

Problems that may arise from this aside from the budget is the lost of privacy and personal space.
Couple may suffer working for the family and kids need alone forgetting about their own needs.

As they strive hard to support the family,
couples forget enjoying each other companionship
and having a little fun that gradually become the cause for marriage in crisis.

Later in their marriage life they will find that they are growing
apart and do not love each other anymore.

The emotions just died down.

2 Being too conscious about what other people say

Image or reputation is everything.
Partners do want to please everybody especially the other people looking at them.

Husbands sometimes are too keen with their status,
image, and what others think that they consider them as more important than
what their own spouse thinks that lead to marriage in crisis.

Gathering comments for decision or plain discussion is good but if you make it as the main basis of your decision rather than your partner then you need to revisit discussions and events and realize that you have ignored your partner fully.

Marriage involves making decisions as partners first considering other people opinions.

Always remember that other people do not govern your life nor strive to work for the success and well-being of your family but you and your partner do need to work so the relationship and the marriage may survive.

3 Too proud to accept wife's opinion

People who are too proud to accept mistakes about their opinions do not listen to their partners but simply make their words a rule in the house.

This will lead to the wife having no participation in the decision-making about things in the house,
the kids, and the marriage.

This situation may survive for a limited number of years
but not for the life of the marriage because ignoring your partner opinion
will make her feel ignored, less valued,
and naturally make her feel upset that it begins to break her confidence
and psychologically influences her self-worth. The husband may think that this behavior is normal since he thinks of himself as head of the family.

Try to revisit some major decisions and events in your life
and you will know that you are the only one making the decision
and your wife is trying hard to make a little life of her own.
This leads to a marriage in crisis that deliberately set you apart from your partner.

Then your partner tries to cope up her breaking self-worth crisis by building a separate life of her own even if you are still living together.

The moment she regains her self-worth and confidence she will ultimately decide to leave you especially if she is successful with her career or business and unknowingly you have never been a part of it.

Here are the reasons why most men have trouble committing to the woman they are with
(even though they "hang around" for a while).

Make sure you go and check this out right now:

http://www.theidealman4u..com

eina:
Haven't you heard some girls moan ''f**k me harder'' during sex. I guess you will be doing her so much good by doing it harder cos she will enjoy it the more.

.

TELL HIM MORE FRIEND.

GEW:
source plsss

Y NOT GO SOURCE FOR YOURS

otun oba:
thanx hun, 'll kip dat on ma left hand !

FUNNY BUT i no laff

Rusty09:
Why has this thread gone on for 5 bloody pages?

@Poster, if u like them, then go ahead. It only becoms stupid when u dont even like them but find urself dating for some reason and then f@#king them. . .

I actually know a girl like that who didnt even like the guys but yet slept with thm for the sake of "DATING". THATS STUPID. . .

WHY DOES GTHE NUMBER OF PAGES BOTHER YOU??

PEOPLE FIND THE TOPIC INTERESTING LLLOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL

ifihearam:
Listen up you all that insulted this lady who posted this topic:

Why insult her for asking a very reasonable question,rather that say your own opinion you engage in insulting people,some of you always potray the kind of upbringing you have and basically lack manners and good parental guidance.

She said in DATE and not ON A FIRST DATE,simple english una nor fit understand

Thos of you that said its wrong,are you saying if you date a guy and it lasted for 2 years, and you dated another for yet another year,is that a criteria for you not to sleep wih the third because you have bleeped the previous ones?

Common on and be reasonble for once,as a matter of fact,sex is inevitable in relationships unless you are core christains and definately not the kind of people that are here.

Thank you.

It is really very pathetic (to say the least) that people bring up issues here to seek for advice, suggestions and opinion and little minds go on an insulting spree!

Even if she did wrong, does such attacks help positively? NO.

The idea of dates has been misinterpretted and abused by so many people - both sexes inclusive.

Somethings that happens during dating periods is really (very) immoral to say the least.

@Poster:
If you you have made this mistake in the past just learn from it and move on with your life.
Fact is that if you give in to sex to every HARRY and TOM that you date, you might (just might) not have anything left for your husbby!

They (men) will threaten, blackmail, give you the cold treatment and do other nasty things to you if and when you refuse to open your legs for them. If you however hold and on and ignore such treatments, they will come to respect and admire you for your principles and who you are.

Take care and remember that nobody can look down on you without your consent.

[center]10 Tips For The Groom

Never forget her birthday, anniversary,
or Valentine's Day. A kiss, a card or
a single rose could save the day.

Don't keep talking about beautiful
chicks at work.

Don't turn on the radio, TV or pick up
something to read, when she's
trying to talk to you.

Don't bring a friend home to dinner
without advance notice.

Don't use her car and return it with
an empty gas tank.

If you know you're going to be late
getting home, call and tell her.

Don't try to make her jealous.

Don't look like a slob all weekend --
unless she looks worse.

When you know you're wrong, admit it.

Never criticize her in the presence of others.[/center]

[center]10 Tips For The Bride

Don't keep telling him about all the
other men you could have married.

Don't bring out the bills at breakfast.

Don't start a conversation with him
while he's reading or watching
a sports event on TV.

Don't correct him in front of other people.

Don't try to make him jealous.

Don't bad-mouth his relatives.

Don't put a shirt in his drawer
with a button missing.

Don't call him at work unless
it's absolutely necessary.

Don't use his razor.

Don't threaten to leave him unless
you have a better place to go.[/center]

Do not worry; it will be okay.

It is okay to:

Perspire or even despire,

But do not ever retire!

There is no good thing that comes easy.

He (GOD) will SEE you through my friend.

Are You considering going back to your family house?

Please do not do that.

They Meant (and still mean) well for you.

No matter how old we are, we are still the babies.

The most important thing is that you now have a job and a house of your own.

I do not know how old you are but man you are now a man.

I really, really admire your courage of wanting to settle down with a lady with a kid.
I used to have this (really) wonderful and sweet girl who also had a baby but i was not courageous enough (like you) to want to introduce her to my parents cause of sigmatization.

I still miss her i must confess.

I wish you the very best and I (just) know that you will never ever regret your action.

I also admire her courage for lost of girls would have aborted those kids.
This brings to mind the question why Nigerians frown at single ladies with kids?
Most Churches does not even wed such people!

Is that not encouraging abortions?

These secrets to a happy marriage come straight from the horse's mouth -- those who are happily married!

1. Never assume.
2. Compliment more than you criticize.
3. For each time you went about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.
4. Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).
5. Always make time for the two of you.
6. Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
7. Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.
8. Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.
9. Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.
10. Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)
11. Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
12. Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.
13. Fight naked.
14. Agree to disagree.
15. Never, ever mention the "" word (divorce).
16. Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?
17. Respect each other's privacy.
18. Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."
19. Marriage is not 50/50, it is two people giving 100/100 all of the time.
20. Surprise each other now and then.
21. The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!
22. Have date night!
23. Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".
24. Hold hands.
25. Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
26. Always believe that you got better than you deserved.
27. Be quick to say "I'm sorry".
28. Choose the one you love, and then love the one you choose.
29. Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!
30. Love isn't always a feeling, it's a decision.
31. Hang in there. It's worth it.
32. Play nice, play often, love much.
33. Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.
34. Never keep secrets from each other.
35. Be each other's champion. No matter what, take your husband or wife's side first!
36. Communication is the key!
37. Always respect each other.
38. Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
39. It's the little things that matter most.
40. Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.
41. It's ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.
42. Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.
43. Don't make love in the same place/position every time. Variety is the spice of life!

CULLED FROM: http://www.romancestuck.com/marriage-advice.htm