₦airaland Forum

MrHandsome2013:
Are you a feminine or masculine person in disposition

Johnson5258:
State owned schools are under the purview of state government, corpers are federal government workers.

Chilipepper:
How did we get here? Man questions Gen Z babes’ luxury standards after lady says she wants a terrace in Guzape for a start 😩💸🤔

Liazz:
Back home before we travelled, she wasn't employed, I was fully in charge of all finances with the help of my family members.

MrHandsome2013:
You have a woman you intend to marry

MrHandsome2013:
Sorry to ask are you a married man

MrHandsome2013:
Why should I let her go after spending much on her

MrHandsome2013:
I met this girl online based on parole and I fell in love with her.
We started dating and everything is fine.
When I asked her why she was doing OS.
She told me that she is the one sponsoring her self in school and none of her family members are supporting her.
I intend to wife but scared of her past.
I have listened to many online counseling videos that a woman’s past matters a lot.
She had told me she is now changed person.
Then I came up with lies that in our culture that if a woman cheat outside marriage that she will run mad immediately that if she can cope with that.
She told me it is fine , that she did os to support her school

fyneboi79:
Look let me tell you something about women, I was married for 10years before I opted for a divorce because I knew she would never change.I have dated several single mothers and one thing they all have in common is zero loyalty with unhindered expectations. Just have it in mind that she will never change,she will act good till she sees a bigger target.

obailala:
Everything shouldn't be about making money ma'am. What’s the point of wealth if I can’t take breaks to indulge in my guilty pleasures (e.g. fancy sports cars or travel)?

If everything has to "make money" to be justified, then life starts to feel more like a business rather than a human experience. That's literally living in bondage!

Wealth should enhance life, not dominate it. There has to be space to live, not just accumulate. A sports car might not be an economic investment, but if it brings me joy, it's an emotional investment which cant be classed a frivolous.

obailala:
What's the essence of acquiring investment upon investment and wealth after wealth if the owner can't take out a portion of his amassed wealth to purchase some feel good toys?

Doolove:
Some time ago my boyfriend brought my matter here because I went to visit a male friend and I was called all sorts of derogatory names without anyone hearing my side of the story.

We met early last year, he was just out of school without a job but I still accepted him regardless. I had a stubborn ex that wouldn't go away so he was taking care of my bills while I was dating my new boyfriend which he was well aware of. I later had an issue with the ex that led to him calling the police on me accusing me of stealing the iPhone 7 that he bought for me while insisting that I return it or he would take the matter to his village and make sure I run mad. I stood my ground amid all the threats held on to the phone.

Coincidentally, things picked up for my guy when the ex left, he started getting lots of freelance gigs online so I didn't feel the absence of the old guy. My boyfriend made sure I didn't lack anything even without me asking. I had to break up with him once because I felt he was doing too much and I might be running him down. He laughed it off and gave me screenshots of some of his account balance.

Fast forward to this year and things went south again, The gigs stopped coming in, and some of the firms he worked for closed shop so he was surviving on his savings which were depleting very quickly. It's worthy to note that before now the major issue that I have had with him is the way he sees my relationships with other men. He practically doesn't want me to have male friends or even go on harmless sitouts with friends. He thinks it's a disrespect to him for me to have anything to do with other guys while I am in his place.

This has resulted in serious fights each I come back from seeing a friend, At times he gets so mad that he flings my things outside to go stay with whoever I went to see.

Meanwhile, things have been very tough for him recently to the extent that feeding has become difficult. He quickly invested in a farm with with a friend when his savings were going down and used the remaining money to startup a blog. Now it's looking as if the guy he's doing the farm business with has scammed him because it's been from one story to the other and he's so broke right now that he can't even afford data to write content for his blog which we all know blogging is even saturated and takes time to start paying.

I started work two weeks ago and I have been the one taking care of my transport fare, he only gives me 1k once in a while to support. It's this same men he doesn't want me to communicate with that has been helping me out all this while. He sits at home all day waiting for the proceeds of the farm so he can start mini importation of wigs.

Every guy that asks me out seems to be well to do than my guy and it really bothers me. They all have nice cares and ready to spend while my own guy now depends on begging to feed. Even though he's smart and all but I don't know where the break through will come from and it seems I am wasting my time with him.

On Monday was my off day and I was at home, I woke up with a mood swing so I wasn't talking to him. He was busy cleaning the house without mentioning breakfast so I had to call someone to come get breakfast for me. He got mad at me tagging it an insult to him. It caused issues and I left the house and dared him to do his worst and he asked me not to leave because I needed some positive vibes since he was boring me with his attitude. I actually went to my family house but he feels I always go to see a guy each time I leave the house.

I came back around 8pm to meet the house locked and he kept ignoring my calls knowing fully well that I didn't leave with my key and I wasn't feeling fine and needed to take my drugs. I got drenched by the rain and my sickness go worst. He came back home by 11pm that night.

Now I haven't been able to go to work for the past three days and he's been running around buying drugs and food on credit so I can get well when he caused it. On the other hand a guy that has been giving me stuffs asked me to take a break from work and rest and he will give me my full salary.

I am just confused, it seems I am leaving better things out there for a broke guy and it's bothering me. What do you guys think I should do

Please ignore any typos, I wrote in a hurry

TouchNfollow:
https://x.com/ohgracieoguns/status/1937412023270212003?t=YYnR8WPftDYfMrpDhOgEQg&s=08[/quote]Buy investments and not liabilities. The former would continuously appreciate in value unlike the latter.

Chram:
Anty, no body is doubting this. You already know what I'm talking about.
How many of these parents are willing to pay much?
You should also consider the environment. A private sch located in highbrow areas will definitely pay more than those located in a slum. Out of 100%, only 10% of these schools pay well across the country. Maybe even less that 10%

Okeytech:
Oga or Madam, I don't know if it's a man or a woman behind this account but did you see anything related to scam in my post? Many of you have succeeded in making the internet so toxic for people to even express themselves.

Okeytech:
Some days ago i posted about my unrepentant cheating wife and plans to chase her away https://www.nairaland.com/8447833/want-send-wife-packing/2#8447833.93

Today i woke up and told her to put her things together before i come back from work cos I'll be taking her back to her parents then she started telling me that it won't pain her cos she has money now and that she has been planning to rent a house before now, so i replied her and said it's good. Then i left to work and after some time while i was at work my mind was telling me to close earlier than usual and i heed to my mind and closed and headed home. Immediately i got home she had already chartered a cab and was packing her things, so i entered the house and checked her load that she was arranging then i found out she had packed alot of foodstuff palm oil, groundnut oil, rice, beans, spaghetti soaps, detergent etc. Then i quietly started packing them back to the kitchen and told her this are my properties, the next thing she did was to slap me and hit me and i got angry and beat her. After some time of dragging she left and i told her to leave the kids which she did. Right now i got to find out through my house help who is staying with me that she didn't go back to her family house but rather she went to her cousin's place to stay cos she overhead her phone calls with her cousins when i left for work.... So as it is now, nobody from her family knows she has left my house.

Shame is part of the reason she doesn't want to go back home and offcourse none of her elder siblings supported all her cheating acts that i've been complaining to them about and she got angry and stopped talking to them cos they didn't support her.

dkidd:
Yeah some of U will always find ways to defend trash.

Emotional intelligence involves understanding and managing ur own emotions and those of others, while emotional manipulation is using emotions to gain control or influence others for personal benefit.

While both involve understanding emotions, emotional intelligence is used to build positive relationships and collaborate, whereas emotional manipulation is used to deceive or control others

JASONjnr:
People often do what they carry in their mind.

People ask questions for clarification and simply because they want to know. She asked to clear her intentions....and it's not farfetched from what she intend to do.

Point is, you don't expect the op to agree to walking away from a toxic girlfriend just to please her intentions in the future.

odinson1:
Physical assault as in when he's the victim of assault and the attacker is a woman?

Or when he defends himself by hitting back?

The victim is now the Villain just because he has a penis

odinson1:
Because you live inside her head? You're just fighting so hard to defend this woman who doesn't want a man to defend himself from abuse if the abuser is a woman.

So if a man asks you if you'll hit back if a man punches you in the mouth, and you say yes you will, and he tries to emotionally blackmail you of being a man beater, what would be your reaction?

Won't you brain tell you that there's a high likelihood that man might be an abuser one day? Someone who doesn't want their victims to fight back

Use your head. If someone knows they can get away with something if they do it to you, if the opportunity arises, they're definitely going to do it.
The girl was simply asking him to see if he's the kind of idiot who'll stand there and let a woman physically assault him, and he'll just smile and walk away.
Simply put, she wants a man who won't hold her accountable if she becomes violent in the future. Julie, use your head abeg! 🤦

Exjoker:
I totally disagree with you dear... I agreed that she tried to use emotional intelligence to manipulate the OP but i am really impressed at the Ops response. That is one hell of a way to draw a redline.

If she wasn't trying to carry out that act, then there is no way she will be offended by his response this much.
I can count about 3 different girls i have date who have asked me rhetorical questions like this (though) about whether i can beat my girlfriend or wife if i am provoke to... My response is always "Yes" if the situation warrant me to. ( note i am not a violent person in nature and i am seriously against men who beat or fight women) but whenever i am ask that question especially by my girls, the answer will always be "Yes" i will slap, or beat a woman who provoke me to beat them.

I think it is a good way to draw the redline to avoid adventurism by all these western wanna be girls.

Mandate1:
what if she eventually goes that path? Mind you, the universe always has a way of bringing that we think into reality.

CorrectionFLuid:
When a man emotionally manipulates a woman, hope you'll say he's emotionally intelligent. Afoanu

tollyboy5:
Women should be more emotionally intelligent but I will pass this test easily logically.
There are many ways to deal with a woman but physical combat is out of option

DenreleDave:
U keep shouting emotional intelligence, maybe the lady in question sef is not emotionally intelligent and she was just asking the question ordinarily.
Maybe there was no bait, she just asked due to what she heard

yetunsbay:
only constant thing is change no one is prophet. Who says she might not tow same path later

torqque7:
Ehnn na he too not that he plans to play out the response he gave her too,he just said it to see her reaction..Anyway I think he needs to be very careful with such a manipulative lady..

Relationship is sacrifice to make your partner happy and not just about yourself alone but she has managed to make it all about herself even when he told her from the start that he would walk away she still pushed him to get that response she wanted to get from him..I am not sure she values him as much as he does her.

Tijani009:
I disagree with you, always let your partner know your stance on a lot of things like he did, don't take that chance with anybody physical abuse goes both ways, I will never hit a woman or anybody no matter how provoked I am but you raise your hand on me I go give you double, it's just a simple principle everyone should know each other's principle to be guilded