₦airaland Forum

Yo words aint fresh they stale like blu cheese
dnt try n battle me, im allergic to u, ima sneeze
u sound like a strugglin frog, ur croakin ya word
wassup dawg? why aint they comin out rite? u slip like lemon curd
arghh, man was that smell, it aint cheese, its a **** turd
I cant be battlin y'all fakers, ima life taker, wipe ur turd with paper
and use the paper to decorate ya homeless wall
this is a battle man, not the holy call
so quit tryin to stall, i cant be doin with yall
So rite a good one bk to me, but watch you dnt trip like ya words n fall

Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

spit back makavele, you ain't got no game, you are so stupid you took a ruler to bed to see how long you would sleep.

you wanna battle son, bring it on whack cat.

@ makavele

your mamma so old, i asked her to act her own age, and she died, yo mamma so stupid she asked me" what's the number for 911"

every time i breathe i make mone.

ha ha now how much is that.

g unit

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?"

The man says, "Methodist."

St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"

"Baptist."

"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

A third man arrives at the gates. "Religion?"

"Jewish."

"Go to room 11, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass room 8?"

St. Peter tells him, "Well the Jehovah's Witnesses are in room 8, and they think they're the only ones here.


AND HERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St.Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in." said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.

"Sorry, we have rules, " And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good- bye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said.

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and Filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you're staff."


WHICH ONE DID YOU ENJOY THE MOST.

STOP DISSING WHERE I STAY, I'M NAJA BUT YOU GOTTA RESPECT SOUTH AFRIC A CMON, OR YOU WAN MAY I DISS YOU, OK

.Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

@ makavelele

am an apparition that appears in your nightmares
A beast of demolition creeping at you while you're unaware
Tidal wave retaliating for your every splish splash
I've made a gash with a slash of vigor
Your every thrash makes you look like dinner
Your inner being is a well of pain
Now insane you strain to hobble off
Cuz I've refrained to finish the job
Whoever's next, whoever's ready
I'm the baddest able rapper
You know you're a fool to take me

makavelele


You are so ugly just after you were born, your mother said "What a treasure!" and your father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

@ makavelele

Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

markolonini

got biteproof bars so nah u cant take them//this emcee?? nah i dont rate him
im takin the throne so i'll hold my own// hu's this 50 cent wannabe slash mini-me clone?
but serious tho he aint got a clue// im servin these bars so get in the Q!!
not yet joined a crew//wanna recruit
the the pied piper n his flute// i be gettin followers
so the fan base ain't small like borrowers
my real identity??// anonymous
im your worst nightmare bitch trust!

can i join this damn battle, you guys are whack, you need some compettionn.

here's another one.

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

HERE'S MY FIRST ONE.

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. "you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever

come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"

@ markavelele

yo mamma so stupid, you have to dig for her i q, she is so stupid that she asked you" what's the number for 911'

@ markelele

yo mamma so stupid that she puts on lip stick on her head just to make up her mind

@ makavelele

yo mamma so fat when she wears a yallow jersey people shout "taxi"

@ makavelele

yo mamma so fat we are in her right now.

@ makavelele]

yo mamma has no taste in men, that is why she ended up eith you.

why are they stil showing that crap auditions on 198, anyway one good thing about this east african idols is that the voting is fair, you can not actually predict who will go, unlike naija's own where they just decided who the best was.

y?

dreamt, that i was dreaming.

would you, i'm still undecided.

no one wants to solve their physics?

markavele, what da flip yo mamma so dump she wanted to name you makelele cause you are as black as night, but she forgot the spelling, such a fool.

messi is skilfull but not the fastest in the world, agbonlahor, wallcot, traore, now u talking.

sorry olorioko, this is just assistance for the tough questions, nok let me ask a question, what is the difference between a vector and a scalar(ths is a simple question)

come on shut up all of you this is a great show and it'll never get banned, if they like they should ban it from airing in naija, that's all of you's problem.

your mamma's i-q is has little has her height.

money is not everything.

what's all this talk about hleb going, he is not going the only person that is 'likely'' to go is flamini, and even that is not certain, anyway we need to get quality players for next season, we need experience, depth, and stars , mix it up with our youngsters and the sky is just a stepping stone for arsenal, ade was brilliant against derby, and who says arsenal cannot still win this l;eague, anything can happen, as i always say, football is not mathematics.