₦airaland Forum

Your answer is in your post, No.

[quote author=Mynd_44]Why am I not surprised at this? Larry, your choice of words is somewhat.......vague. i would like to interprete it as it depends on what we wanna define virginity as. Some might define it as penetrative sex and some might not

@OP, your friend ain't a virgin no more if hand jobs and mouth jobs were involved. In my opinion[/quote]Sadly, I just got all of this from a girl now, virginity is now in the trash. Penetrative se.x follows suit with immediate effect, it's pointless waiting till marriage again.

By the way Mynd it was fun, I felt like I was soaring in the sky.

vivienpaddy: I met him on net,he came down all d way from lag 2 Port-hacourt 2 c me.He is married & am married 2.Since den,we can't do without each oda. We r seriously in luv.

I can only conclude it's love when both of you have killed your spouses.

xynerise: @op. Your dream and believe are manifesting

Thanks for the endorsement Sir.

@ oratileb I have waited this long to find thee, I joined nairaland all because of you. At a point I lost hope and thought I won't find you, Alas I was so close, I never knew.
oratileb I love you.

Yours Lovely,
K2039.

That's simply because you have abdicated the responsibility of being happy to girls which in turn has a big effect on your emotions when they are not treating you like the baby you want them to treat you.

Honestly I can predict that you will have a big problem with your future relationships unless you take full responsibility for your own happiness and stop being clingy and needy(otherwise, girls can easily smell clinginess and it's a turn off, for others they will just capitalise on your emotions and use you).

I have been in your situation in the past(when I was a boy I loove/obsessed like a boy, but when I became a man I put away childish love/emotions 1k2039 chapter 1vs12)

You have to work on your self esteem and realise you don't need a girl to be happy(until you enjoy being single, you are not fit to be in a relationship). You happiness depend solely on you and you alone not a relationship with a girl, the more dependant your happiness is on relationships the more you are likely to be miserable in your life.

Understand you are not your emotions, you are greater than your emotions and you should be in control(not the other way). Take a walk to a solitude place and look far beyond yourself, you will realise there is something greater than your emotions which is the real you and that's the person who should be in control of your moods.

Finaly, never get obsessed with a girl, once you are obsessed you are in trouble from the start because you won't reason effectively and sensibly. Your reasoning will be faulted, you will only see the girl and relationship as you want it to be, not as it is in reality(you will imagine crazy things, infact when the girl is saying no, you will assume she is playing hard to get etc). The effect of this is that when reality finally sets in you get hurt.

In closing, no girl can break your heart unless you allow her too, a girl might do some harsh things to you, in the end it's not her action that hurt but the way you have chosen to react and respond to it.

Actually, she will put a placard on her head boldly written, 'I'M THE ONE'.

If you intend to get married, tell him. If the relationship is just the play type, then it's not necessary.
I'm sure he(rapist) won't tell your boyfriend about the incident.

But if he will be a part of your future(if the relationship is aimed at marriage) then it's necessary he knows. If he is matured he should be able to handle the matter(as it relates to his friend) after all he(rapist) already apologised and it's not like the incident is of recent.

Acidosis: Where did you get this from? This is what I call gross misinformation. He resigned today not because he wasn't getting the respect he deserved but fear of crazy football fans... Some Nigerians are so crazy about football that some (especially kids) might go about attacking his congregation outside the church.

Take for instance, he predict a 4-0 loss for Nigeria.. Some ediots would not hesitate to attack their synagouge- member neigbour.

I believe he did the right thing!
Let 'them' play whatever they have to play! Afterall their victory or loss doesn't add a penny to his account..

This sounds more reasonable to the shi.t the Op wrote.

The only reason it's the most expensive cake is because I'm still single.
My wedding cake will be more expensive than this and I'm certainly sure acidosis will be impressed then.

Like Acidosis said, I'm also not impressed.

kayClt: Like seriously d men need to knw all dis...dey feel relaxed weneva dey do all of the above n tink dey hv gotten away wit it,we jst watch n wait den Act wen d need arises.

For your mind.

The only reason they are more sensitive is because guys have chosen to be oblivious to the signs.

I assume seeing each other means bleeping each other on that chat(I may be wrong but I'm 89.9percent sure about that).

You are just a figure head boyfriend.

ifeness: You don't ask someone you did not offend for forgiveness,do you? In fact,forgiveness is a virtue an enlightened person must have . He who does not forgive is ignorant.

Therefore, the bible god acts childish and immature. Unless he is not real!

It sounds fair to you, if I blow up your head with a gun, ask for forgiveness afterwards and walk free on the face of the earth without facing the consequences of my action.

omiobo: i agree not

Blow off someones head with a gun, leave the traces behing such that it will be obvious you are the one.

Ask God for forgivness afterwards and see if God will save you from facing the law.

Then you can then disagree with my theory.

ItsModella: Two years ago, I did it with my facebook. That was when I was still addicted to facebook. I gave it up, all through the lent season, didn't log in to facebook once. Boy, after the lent, my facebook looked strange, notifications from all angles, some people thought I was dead sef..

This year, I'm trying to give up texting...so that I can talk to people on the phone. God help me o...cos I love texting pass facebook.

Maybe next year, I'll give up nairalanding

Giving up nairaland sounds more like it.

omiobo: where have you been? Just dey go on and off like Nepa light

I've been busy roaming through the surface of the earth looking for girls to devour.

binger: Okaaay...i see.
i never knew you're a Christian sha

I'm equally suprised. If only I was given the sole responsibility of choosing the next pope, Itsmodella would have been my choice(first female pope).

binger: Well,am not catholic,so we don't do penance.
Btw,how does saying copious 'Our father' ,'hail Mary' etc,cleanse ur sin or grant u forgiveness?

Putting a call through to the Vatican, I will respond soonest.

binger: Thank u my sister,this is enlightening.
However,if i stop being conscious of sin,wouldn't that make me treat sin with levity?

law of attraction, the more conscious you are the more suspectible you are to sin.

binger: Very true...just like the Bible said it.
I asked because it was asserted by a friend,who happens to be Catholic, that once u sin in this period,no mercy.

I have another question...When you are forgiven for committing a particular sin,do u go without being punished?

God forgives sin, but he never saves us from the consequences of oyr actions.

holyvirgin: @op, its good you chose to go on food fasting,I remember when I was younger, my sister used to be a fashion freak and can't go without makeups, so when lent came she chose to focus on God and halt at makeups.
She completed the lent without makeups which was quite difficult but the grace of God abounds.
Back in school,My roommate spends more on recharge cards let say 4 a week he spends as much as 5000, but he actually 'fasted on cards' he spent let say 2000 on cards and 3000 on almsgiving.
As christians we must not neccessarily go on food fasting, sometimes those habits that are crushing us as christians, let's fast on them, ao that after 40days just like christ we may overcome temptations.
Godbless us

My favorite habit is reading.
Are you implying I stop reading?, when in fact I have exams coming up soon.

Dextra: Did you say "There is no god to answer?"
Well, my dear..."The fool has said in his heart there is no God".
I have felt the very existence of God in my life, even as a child I had experiences too. If you seek Him you will definitely find Him. Let me share one experience with you. I went through financial constraint while in post secondary school. I resumed school after paying my school fees with the money I had been saving since I graduated from high school. I resumed with a bag, a bucket and just #60 Naira. Several weeks after that, I didn't have kerosene in my stove to cook and I couldn't go on begging from neighbors. I had always had Faith in God's ability so I was forced to put it to work. For complete 10 days I cooked on a stove without kerosene. i just refuse to open it or acknowledge that it was dry, I just lit it and cook the little I had. Until, my brother sent me some money, I went to the market and bought kerosene. I lit the stove and it died within few seconds. My dear, I don't believe in God based on what I was told or what I have heard but What I know. Though I'm not a Catholic, I remember as a child the encounter I had with the Rosary and I may tell you if you want to hear it.
Just ask God to reveal Himself to You, He will. Seek Him and you shall find Him.

God grant me this kind of faith.

ItsModella: For the sake of peace, I'm gonna be calm about this. If you do not believe in something, that's fine. Do not insult the people who do, that's taking it too far.

Are you a catholic?.
Definitely a yes, I thought as much.

I have just gone through the whole thread all over again.
I think the drift between the two parties is Discipline and Love.

Killz and others in support seems to believe love incorporates discipline and self control and I disagree with that.

To love is one thing, to be faithful and discipline is another.

binger: On a final note,in accordance with the OP's question,Love alone does not guarantee fidelity. Self-discipline & self-control are needed factors,in addition to love,that guarantees fidelity.
And these do not come by 'default'. They are consciously 'self-induced'. #candidme.

Ditto.

I agree with you in all totality.

[quote author=Mynd_44]So now love has become some garment you can put on and off right? well when you have a child, choose to love him/her so when it is convinient, care and when not, close you eyes. is that also a result of hollywood/nollywood?[/quote]Why do parents disown their kids?.

[quote author=Mynd_44]What in the world does thins have to do with anything?[/quote]It's called analogy and it's anologous to the post I quoted.

[quote author=Mynd_44]Cos you are a christian? Now I have heard it all. Why not marry as a christian too. BTW, when was the last time you went to church?[/quote]My point with what I wrote is just that christianity has a big influence on my value system and my perception of what is right and wrong. That doesn't mean I obey everything in the bible and I'm perfect.
I only brought this in because killz seems to be certain I intend to cheat discreetly or support cheating discreetly.

I intend to remain faithful to my wife, I'm not 100 percent certain about that though, because I have not been in a marriage and it's easier to type anything behind the screen. It's easier criticising cheaters now but I will criticise cheaters effectively when I'm married(when I have been in their shoes, marriage), and I'm not making excuses for them, I believe ultimately we are responsible for our actions and who ever cheats does so solely because he/she wants to cheat.

[quote author=Mynd_44]Ever heard of the term "temporary insanity"? I am sure you have bro. Why would you walk away when you see you wife in bed with another man? simple bro believe it or not, you love her and you just want to clear your head. You still love her but you cannot forgive her for what she did. not quit playing macho and face reality.

Fall out of love and fall in. na sleep you call am?[/quote]If I cut off one of your fingers intentionally you will still be friends with me because you have forgiven me.

I understand people should be given second chance, but will you still proceed with a woman who cheated on you twice.

sexkillz: [color=#000030] Da fuq are you saying?

Can you commit to a woman you do not love?

Can you marry a woman you do not love?

Marriage is the ultimate commitment.

Take a deep breath and answer the question.

Your answer will help me determine how confused you are or not. Lol[/color]

I'm browsing with my phone, so I can answer the questions independently.

I can't marry a woman I do not love or commit to a woman I do not love.

Real life situations are dynamic, so it's only logical that if she changes I will withdraw my commitments and love. When I mean change it could be cheating, not wanting to remain in the marriage, etc.
But for issues that are out of her control like weight etc I won't unlove her, I will remain commited.

I hope you get my drift. For me marriage is the ultimate commitment as long as she is not violating the terms of condition. You can't expect me to stick to a girl because of commitment alone if she is not doing what is necessary of a good wife.

By the way if I decide to remain faithful, it's not because I love her but because I'm a christian who believes adultery is sinful(that's a value).

So tell me how confuse I'm and I will ask you if you will still love and remain with a woman who cheats on you or who isn't making the necessary effort to make her marriage work with you.

[quote author=Mynd_44]So now love has become some garment you can put on and off right? well when you have a child, choose to love him/her so when it is convinient, care and when not, close you eyes. is that also a result of hollywood/nollywood?[/quote]You will still love a woman if she cheats on you?.

WackyJ1: Love is not some super complete package that comes with everything needed to make the relationship survive like Patience, tolerance e.t.c If not many relationships will be sailing smoothly or on the other hand (since relationships never sail all that smoothly) that All package love does not exist.
Love is like the fuel for the work to be done to achieve all the other qualities. Being in love does not automatically make you honest with the person or patient as such it's a continuous process

I wonder too o, if their assertions are correct, it's safe to conclude that a woman can change a man.
A man who is dishonest before meeting a woman will be dishonest after meeting the woman, except he sees a reason and choses to change.