₦airaland Forum

yeyeosoronga:
Who wants a drunk man on top of them?
Tufiakwa.....
Next time, she should keep a knife by her side when he comes home drunk...

ngeneukwuewuGOAT:
He has been looking for a way to pounce on her for refusing him sex. The alcohol now was the catalysts that help him actualize his barbaric act. Foolish man

JONNYSPUTE:
If we are honest here,we would ve noticed that the op was very objective in his right up.He never generalized that all women are bad neither did he say that all men are good. I think the problem here is the lack of comprehension from some of us here. Listen to this.... ...Was hanging out with my closet pal one night and suddenly he started crying. I was confused, so I asked him why he was crying and he told me a story he had never told me before. ......He said that while growing up,he hated his dad so much because their mum made them believe their father was a very bad person. He told me that his father moved out from his own personal house to a rented apartment and stayed there till he died. All these while,himself and the other siblings believed what ever their mum told them and that made him never to check on the man until he died of hbp and stroke. He told me he is crying now because he started asking questions about his dad and what he found out was terrible.The whole thing the mum told them were all lies.

alexola20:
My own mother na winch that mostly wanted to turn the children against the father.It took me a very many years to realise the evil with my mother.
I don't hate her but I really don't want to have anything to do with her really than to feed her if I have extra.
We will all be rewarded for our deeds.Amen.

alexola20:
Many of them lack comprehension.
Give them more years when they come of age.

There was this man in the UK few years ago that started searching for her lost father.
The mother,a white woman and the father a Nigerian.
They got separated when the boy was like 7years old.Of course he had since stayed with the mother but the father was sending him letter for many many years but the mother never read any of the letters to this boy and also foolishly never disposed the letters.
So after like 30years when the boy has already started having his own family,he found all the letters that his father was writing to him that never got to him.Hence,he started looking for the lost father.
I can't imagine the hatred he'd develop for his mother.
Many women are devilish to be honest.

Beyfit:
Sorry Op, lemme make this clear to you. I understand that you are looking for an honest answer to your observation.

Women are special being and they are protector, giver, lover and home keeper.

Men that are called Dad/Father are men that stay in their marriage and see their children grow,Men that don’t leave their responsibilities to others, those are real Father.

Men that impregnated a lady and she conceived are nothing but a SPERM DONOR
That’s why the women don’t want anything between the sperm donor and their children. Well, a responsible sperm donor can pay for up keeps.
You might be seeing this man as your father but it’s far from what a real father actually is...
If most of these women are capable of taking care of their children then you will see that they will cut all ties with such men.

*Don’t start a family if you can keep one
*Don’t lead a woman on if you are not truly with her
*Don’t impregnate anyone and later abandon them
*Define your relation with your girlfriend from the onset.

That’s my little jara happy Sunday y’all

liberalchick:
lol where did I make it a We vs Them?

I was calling out the generalization of women in the OP, I never compared the roles of both gender in parental alienation. If you are referring to my example, I used it to highlight my premise, just because you have few anecdotes doesn’t mean you have enough facts/authority to generalize.

Most posters have commented that the OP is just about mothers who alienate their kids from their fathers, if it was I wouldn’t be on this thread. The first half of his post infers that most deadbeat dads wouldn’t be deadbeats if women didn’t badmouth dads in front of their kids.

somehow:
RIP dad.


Tears once more

Not because he was fully badmouthed but because I didn't see the whole picture soon enough.

5am off to work 11pm back home Mondays to Saturdays. Sleeps off most of Sundays after church to recoup the lost energy from the deadly weekdays.

Died of HBP/Stroke because the man never rested and was less celebrated!

Tears men.

Men should learn how to cry, you will add more life to your life in the process.

TheEminentLaity:
Yeah right! 'Deadbeat' another invented term by bitter women to appropriate all blames to yet another man. Another case of women not taking responsibility.

fyneboi79:
Very good topic here. It took me more than 35 years to realize what my mother did to me concerning my dad. I hated and abandoned the man. Now all I can do to say sorry is to beautify his graveside.

MariaLavina:
Your comments on this thread so far makes me doubt if the write up is truly yours, instead of you to defend your posts with logical points and facts you are busy guilt ripping hiding your shallows with emojis and baseless tantrums, even Capslock did a better job defending your very own thread. Pity!


Women don't paint men bad, No they just didn't cover up their husband's misconducts from their children. If you are smart, observant and exposed has you claim to be, you will realize that husbands 'painted bad' aren't saints. Most times they exhibit characters the women use against them. Lol it's funny you think a child's mind is a GIGO kind of thing. No,! Children emulate/take in/ form their perception mostly on what they see than what they hear, The later is easily forgotten while the former lasts longer. If a woman tells her child the husband is bad and the husband acts otherwise believe me those words will have no effect. So this is a case of no smoke without fire.

You also make it sound like only a woman owns the child whatever stops the father from forming a bond with his child?But No! An average African man thinks it is a sign of weakness to express emotions and that the needs of the children is basically food clothing and shelter. Other needs should be met by the woman, it is her job.And this is the cause of the fall of African Man when it comes to getting a child's love.

So what if they aren't together? Are the fathers denied access to their children? Thing is Most Nigerian men do not care that much, to them they have enough sperm to produce another child if the wife decide to go with the children. Hardly will you see a man worry that much except if the children are grown and he has invested a lot in them.A typical Nigerian man is a deadbeat one, the ones 'painted bad' are just the unmanaged ones.

That said, You seem to forget the fact that Children who have little knowledge of their fathers or mothers seek after them mostly when they are grown.They tend to appreciate the invisible one more than the one who nurture them.They begin to ask questions, make calls , search for maps just to find the one who wasnt there.At the end no one loses , This thread no hold water jare.

liberalchick:
“A good number of mothers” you and the OP’s generalization is why this post was spoiled by “idiots”. I know people that were lied to by their fathers who told them that their moms abandoned them. Instead they discovered their mothers were kicked out and had been forbidden to see them.

Unlike this OP, I am not going to write a post generalizing most men.

realtalk19:
How about violent men and men who is not responsible for the child's welfare and believes the mother shuld be the one to take up his responsibility while he squanders his money on irrrelivant things.

Will he be bold enough to to admit he wasn't responsible and couldn't take care of them like a father should?

Will he admit he was violent and irresponsible by always beating up the child's mother who eventually had to leave the marriage for the safety of hersslf and child?

Elliot2:
See how a well articulated topic has been spoilt by idiots who should be in the caves. This is one topic that would have had meaningful engagement if it were on quora.
Well,the truth is that a good number of mothers are not altruistic in their show of love toward their children. Like every other things women easily create competition even when uncalled for,they are in a competition for the child's attention; one which they get and perpetually use. This becomes especially pronounced if their is a friction between the woman and the man. It is as if they book-keep every act of kindness towards the child; they highlight those deeds,trying to reinforce your memory. You remember their acts of kindness more than you do for your dad's. In fact, most mothers' love is a weapon they consciously build and nurture.

NLmember:
Why do these bitter woman hating mods keep putting posts like this on front page? Instead of asking parents to put their utmost best in raising children the bitter and frustrated fellow started a topic he concocted from his deranged mind to blame women for the actions of irresponsible fathers.

Father's are deadbeat so blame the mother's for poisoning the childs mind and keeping the said child from their dad. What is stopping the father from being actively present in the child's life and showing them enough love and support to dispel any form of brainwashing from the mom about him being deadbeat?

A determined and caring father will never allow anything keep him from his kids, what these useless men do is that they abandon their kids thinking the responsibility of rising kids is on women and then in old age when they start experiencing loneliness the fools start throwing be to the wives and mothers claiming that they brainwashed the children into hating them.

I m not surprised, majority of young men these days are just frustrated from poverty and filled with bitterness and since they cannot lash out t each other they turn to women to transfer agression. If only you fools can use the same energy in tracking your worthless leaders that keep you poor and frustrated.

I don't blame the mod that keeps putting topics like this on front page.

Starboytwo:
Ok, heres my story...

I was in 300 level, when my dad died in 2016, yeah i was there when he died, I mean literally, I was the last person he saw before he went beyond... I still remember how the nurses urshered me out, then I went by the window, I saw him took his last breath, I saw the nurse covering his face... I already knew before my brother's who were outside...

I didn't cry, when my eldest bro burst into tears, I just looked away, but I didn't cry... Why cry I didn't know the man... Apart from a few holidays, some visits, a long boring, very awkward (now most cherished) road trip, where we left Lagos in his car to our Homeland, azin our village "gan gan".... This old man took me home... Damn... I still didn't grab I needed my certificate of origin, cuz I just got admission...

You know the drill, polygamous family, 4 wives, 11 children... We the last, last wife, me and my little brother... Blah blah, she left, took us along, was five, bro was 3... Didn't see my old man again... Till he appeared when I was in pry 5... Coupla holidays, blah blah, my little bro decided to stay and live with him... So 50/50... All his children had some piece of him, except me... mummy's boy, all through... So I grew up on mummy stories, few times I spent with him were always awkward at best... Mummy's side was home, all the people I knew and loved ...

Looking back now, I think he tried to know me, he asked many questions, he bought me soccer boots, met my coach blah blah, drove me to my school, on my first day as a jss1 students( they still rep me till date, my old classmates)...

He was old, sick, yet still drove me home, I thought it'd be a day but we we're on day4 when I got real sick, I already told my mom and she made him bring me back....

all those quality times I could have spent with him, enjoy my father, his company, his last days Let's just say I was not a very good company.....


Something happened last week in my family and after 3 years since he gone, I cried uncontrollable in the bathroom, I cried so much my eyes were swollen,my girlfriend asked what's wrong with my eyes, they we're red with sorrow, I finally understood everything, it all came together, all the pieces,finally I know and understood the kind of man my father was, I finally understood the sacrifices he made, how hard his choices were... He was a good man, and for the first time in my life on Monday, I missed my dad...

For a minute I hated my mother for denying me the opportunity to know this man, my very own father... My beloved father... Damn...

I want to apologise dad, for being so stupid all this while, for not figuring things out soon enough, for frustrating you when you tried to connect, I'm sorry PAPA.... I will never Forget the look in your eye, the first day I came at the hospital, it's the most purest form of happiness I have ever seen, he held on to me and would not let go, he recognizes me after so many years and spoke so many things with his eyes, that now I fully understood....


Damn, i miss you Pop.... I miss you so much... I wish I could have that road trip again... Damn

Rest in piece sir....

IceColdVeins:
I agree with the OP, cos I am kind of a victim of this.......And I feel both parents are to be blamed cos they both had equal chances on the kids, allowing your spouse gain more access to the kids while differences are yet to be settled between your spouse exposes them to coaxing and brainwashing. Right now I give less bleeps about my dad cos of my upbringing.

Fountainofyouth:
Because it is a male talking, imagine if it was a female....

Fountainofyouth:
Deranged psych on display here.


Modified
I cannot believe this thread made front page, nairaland is filled with machismo chauvinistic sexist

IamPlato:
Your IQ is Very High But Wisdom Is What You Seriously Lack...


Why Make A Big Deal Out Of Something Like This? Some Young Folks Here Would Read This And Probably Start Seeing Their Mothers wrongly As Something Different out Of Trying To Be Smart

DevilhimseIf:
lol I'll rather watch Claudia marie than this hag

ola33t:
Don't mind him. His profile pics and moniker are very obscene and strange. I wonder which kind of normal human being will call himself devil. Strange people littered all over the universe. When strange things start to happen in his life, he will start lamenting.

Dozie32:
Make I just see a south African, make I know weda I no go kill am.

ola33t:
Keep following me bïtxh.
You're a doomed bastard if you do not quote and follow every of my post.

Better go for deliverance, you've introduced devils into your life by yourself, when strange things start playing out, you won't have anyone else to blame than yourself.
May God have mercy on your soul. You still have the opportunity to amend your ways now.

Osobi32:
While reading the holy bible pls pray for understanding. Is not just about prayer and fasting but by faith, without faith nothing works. All I see here is a fanatic who understands nothing about God. Oh maybe he thought on the 41 day God will send an angel to him hmmm! My people perish out of ignorance.

pocohantas:
Werey boy

Look at his room, dude needs money to chop abeg.

Juliet11111:
Ebonyi people and stupidity.