₦airaland Forum

segxi1960: I have a friend Batch A serving there, I could send you her number. Asaba is a cool town

zerray: where is highmey and macuwon where in abia are u from.....for ppl redeploying dnt think of abia o,abia is crowded with rejected corpers at the moment.

Kentnickole: It is very simple... U will be a physics or maths teacher in one of the remote villages... Reality check.

shawylux: A senior colleague from delta is welcoming you all to the state. You will all enjoy your stay here. There are so many ways to get to Issele uku permanent orientation camp. If you are coming from the east and invariably you ll still pass Onitsha, there is an Agbor park at the River Niger head bridge. But if you can't get there because your bus might drop at Upper Iweka, I suggest you enter Asaba bus. Asaba bus will drop you at Koko junction (last bus stop) and from there you ll see Issele uku bus. Wishing you a memorable 21 days stay in camp.

palacious: Abi oooo, make dem no do yamayama ooo

Hissexcellencie: Wait o! So Futo boiz dey here? I come dey think say na only me waka come?

jamanuka: Heading to FUTO to go get my Statement of Result and the Call-Up letter...

ALAYORMII: Saw this somewhere and decided to share it here

If you dont laff then ur problem is first grade



Imagine if ATMs in Naija speak our
dialect
If U are in a sophisticated area like
BANANA ISLAND, here is how the ATM
would communicate;
ATM: Welcome Mr. Adenuga.
-Please, enter your secret number.
-How much will you like to withdraw?
Thank you for banking with us, Mr.
Adenuga.
…….but if you are in a place like
MUSHIN, here is how it will respond;
After a guy inserts his card, inputs his
pin,
ATM: Haaaaaaaaaaaa, Omo Iyami,
-tuale baba agba,owo meji fun eyan kan
-omo iya ma je ki won ri numba e...malogo
-se o wa pa?
Guy: Mo wa pa baje baje.
ATM: Elo ni k’omo aye po jade?
(guy inputs 10,000)
ATM: (dispenses cash).
Omo Iya, ma jeun lo ntie.
In a place like IBADAN.
An Ibadan woman inserts her card,
inputs her secret code.
ATM: (In Ibadan tone)
-Ekabo Iyami,e ni soriburuku
-e te numba yin ni kanmo kanmo
-So nsure?
-Elo le fe gba?
(Woman enters N2,000)
ATM: Iya, ko ma s’owo lapo yin ke!
(Woman enters N2,000 again)
ATM: Se ko nse afise?
-Mo ro pe eti yin di?
Mo so pe ko s’owo lapo yin.
(For the third time, woman enters
N2,000 again, thinking it was an error
on the ATM’s part)
ATM: (pauses for a while)
mo ro pe ori yin ti buru
-Oma saaro kutukutu ke.
-Alawin laaro ojo aje.
-To ba pe ko o to fa kadi re yo, emi ma
a gbe je ni.
-Alawin osi.kuro ko je ki awon olorire wa gbowo
In a place like IJEBU
A woman inserts her card & pin
ATM: Omo alare,
-elo ro nfe gba?
(Woman enters N2,391.50K)
ATM: Pause for about one minute,
trying to understand the digits.
After about a minute, ATM replies,
ATM: Iya, mo nbo?
E je nsare lo wa shenji wa.

Reyginus: You guys are getting me more confused and you don't know it. I am serious. But wait o! What is not serious about the question?

macuwon: Guy help me buy camp tinz for ariara na..

jamanuka: Lol...idi sharp...which side wey u dey for Aba

jamanuka: Hope say you be thorough bred Nwa Aba?...Nwanne kee way?

Stanislause: na 2 differentiate u 4rm me...lol..anyways,hw fa u nau.

Stanislause: Abeg make una no yab me me na JJC 4 here...lol...whatz appenin here?