₦airaland Forum

bluefilm:
The questions are not bad

You should be able to answer them

If you can't produce reasonable answers to those questions, that's really were the problem lies

Any reasonable man should be able to provide these answers.

Bros, these are not hard question designed to embarrass. They are due diligence for a decision that will affect the rest of her life and the lives of her future children.

In both Christian theology and Nigerian cultural tradition, marriage is understood as a sacred, lifelong covenant before God and the community. Unlike dating or courtship in some Western contexts, marriage in a Nigerian church setting typically implies an irrevocable commitment, except in some biblical circumstances; a shared destiny , including children, finances, ministry, and legacy; and Public and spiritual accountability to family, church, and God.

Given this weight, asking deep, probing questions before saying "yes" is not inappropriate; it is responsible stewardship of her life, her future children, and her calling.
"The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." — Proverbs 18:15 (NKJV)
Research on marital stability and satisfaction consistently identifies the following predictors of success –

1. Are you Born Again? Shared values and faith

2. Your God Given Assignment and Purpose - Clear life direction and purpose and prevents future conflict over life goals

3. Your Skills, Career and Academic Leve - Financial and career stability and indicates capacity to provide and partner

4. Your Vision for this Marriage, Myself and the Children - Realistic expectations and Tests whether he has thought deeply

5. Why do you like me and want to spend your life with me - Genuine affection vs. convenience, separates love from desperation or pressure

6 Your Conviction about this Marriage, why do you want to marry me - Personal conviction and ensures you are not acting on family pressure, loneliness, or superficial attraction

If a man approaches a woman for marriage and becomes visibly annoyed when she asks basic questions about his life, faith, vision, and intentions, this is concerning because in marriage, situation will come where both of you will need to sit down and have difficult conversations about yourself, your home, your children, your in-laws, your sex life, finances etc.

A mature, confident, and sincere man would welcome such questions because he has already asked himself the same questions, respects her wisdom and caution, and wants to build on a foundation of transparency.

Many modern ladies will never ask all these hard questions before easily opening their legs or jumping into a relationship. A lot of advice and comments are mainly hypocritical. A man who cannot answer basic questions about his age, skills, career, faith, and vision is not ready for marriage.

If she has asked for money, you account balance, hair, or a wig, you will brand her materialistic.

True the case f Paternity Fraud seems to be on the rise. However, some of these stories seems made up.

Hi Nairalanders

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Jeshurun101:
Lol.... even though I am a chelsea fan, I find this funny.

It is actually a lion, with very powerful symbolism

From Google
"In heraldry, a "lion rampant regardant" depicts a lion standing on its hind legs, with its head turned backward, as if looking over its shoulder. The "rampant" part refers to the lion's posture, while "regardant" describes the direction its head is facing.

Elaboration:

Rampant:
This term means that the lion is depicted standing on its hind legs, as if rearing up.

Regardant:
This term indicates that the lion's head is turned backward, looking over its shoulder.

Symbolism:
The lion rampant is a symbol of strength, courage, and nobility. The specific position of the head (regardant) can add a layer of symbolism, potentially representing foresight or vigilance, as if the lion is looking out for danger or observing its surroundings from behind.

Please Nairaland should let Judy Austin and her Ex- Husband alone

I am using a Samsung Galaxy Note 10+ 5G. The phone plays the Samsung Over the Horizon ringtone randomly without using any app. I have done all I know to trace the source to no avail.

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Please any suggestion on how I can go about resolving this.

Thanks

huptin:
There should be a thorough review of the recruitment processes into Federal MDAs with immediate effect.

Those places have been taken over by the children of the elite, forcing the children of the masses to go abroad for slavery.

It's unfortunate...Buhari dragged this country a million years backwards...the level of nepotism I witnessed the last time I visited those ministries was heart breaking.

This is one of the biggest problems with Ministries, Departments and Agencies of the Federal Government.
Most juicy and well-paying agencies and parastatals are filled with children of politicians and affluent people in society. They just go to work every day and mostly do nothing. The future of these organisations is at stake because these categories of staff have no motivation to work.

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jetwonder:
Your location

Sorry for my late response

Kubwa, FCT-Abuja

IronGalaxy:
The best African club for almost a decade now has been a South African club side...the same side which had provided us with players that have got us to the semis.

Our ladies are African champions

The PSL is one of the most organized and competitive leagues in Africa

The number 1 sport in SA is football, so how are we not a footballing nation?

Can your domestic league provide you with players to compete at this level?

Give credit where it's due

Guy, I agree with you on this. I am Nigerian.

The SA guys gave their best and the match could have gone anyway. To play 7 players from Mamelodi Sundown in the starting line up and still get to the Semis is an enviable standard. The SA League is among the top 3 in Africa and we must commend SAFA and the PSL for the good work they are doing.

Hope this crop of Bafana Bafana would bounce back stronger in the next edition of AFCON.

Big up to them

jetwonder:

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Klass99:
Lol, I would rather look stupid and be called names by idiots, than smile and suffer in silence. I decided a long time ago what my deal breakers in marriage are;

1. The day I have to treat myself for an STD and I know I didn't cheat, is the day that marriage ends.
2. The day another woman shows up pregnant with your child and my investigation reveals you are indeed the father, is the beginning of the end, because the likelihood of number one happening is very strong.
3. The day you start agitating for anal sex or try to manipulate me into indulging you, so you don't go outside for it, is the day I walk.
4. The day I find out you are gay is also the end, because the chances of 1 and 3 happening are real.
5. You hit me more than once in the course of our marriage, without provocation or justification because you think you are the man and you have superior strength.

I don't understand the world we live in where it has become acceptable for women to tolerate and endure all sorts, for the sake of marriage and kids. Do our lives not count or matter for something? Are we not worthy or deserving of living well and living happy? Are we to be forever, second class humans, who have to put everyone else's needs ahead of ours as wives and mothers? I like myself too much, it is not my portion

My Sister I love your position. Most women behave as if their life and self esteem depends on marriage; thus they take any transh thrown at them just to stay in a marriage. Some become a shadow of themselves, loose their personalities, sacrifice their profession all because of marriage.

Every woman should have a deal breaker and set boundaries. Let your man know the red lines he must not cross and state it clearly. Every one should have some earning power, to prevent taking thrash from a man just because you depend on him for your survival.

One of the major challenges of driving around Abuja is the recklessness of drivers. Recently this recklessness has increased with the influx of a set of young men with braids on their head; they drive like they have an appointment with death or are immune from death and injury in the case of accident.

Generally in Nigeria our driven pattern, road behaviour and understanding of road traffic rules is terrible.

Chris2863:
The Three of you are idle and the best you can do now is to find something doing. I see no reason why husband and wife will have time for unnecessary gossip/talks with everybody living in their street

My brother God bless you for this comment.

Op; what business does your wife have with the women on your street to the point of engaing in discussions on what their husband gives/buy for them. Except you live in face me, I face your compound; even at that you can still try to maintain your privacy and protect your space.

Your wife has no business making friend with that kind of woman.

AS THE YEAR 2022 COMES TO ITS END
As the year 2022 draws close to its end, we are afforded another opportunity of conducting a realistic assessment of ourselves in all dimensions of life. Very soon from the first week of January 2023, Churches and religious groups would start their 1 Week, 2 Weeks, 21 Days, 30 days, or 40 days fasting and prayers; depending on what format such religious group wants to adopt.
While prayer is very important, it is pertinent to state that the nature of our society, the happenings around and the quality of life of religious faithfully do not fully attest to designed outcomes of the vigours that they put in the place of prayers.
Therefore, we may be tempted to infer that it is either God is not fully answering our prayers, we are praying amiss or we are not complementing our prayers with the necessary complementary dose of smart Work.
As we prepare to welcome January 2023, we have to sit and critically examine some key areas of our lives; viz
1. How well have we developed ourselves? In our cognitive capacity/mental, spiritual, and in our capacity to earn.

2. What is our social network/networth. Do you have people in your social circle that you can call on in times of need or people that can point you to directions that would help you to grow and achieve your dreams. If not, develop friends and networks that you can leverage when the need arises. Prov. 13:20 “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.”

3. How well have you managed your health? For you to exist on this earth, your body needs to be properly maintained. If you don’t manage your health, it would ultimately pose a challenge that would affect you spiritually. Watch what you eat in the new year and control how you live.

4. Develop your capacity to earn. If you don’t keep earning, your liabilities would ultimately swamp your income. When this happens, you will be under so much stress, sink into depression, or always live with a deficit account.

5. How well have you served your God? Seek ways of improving your relationship with your creator? Examine your life and determine to serve God better in 2023.

6. Keep improving. Create/Develop a better you. Whatever weakness you don’t conquer on your way to greatness, always has a way of catching up on you when you seem to have achieved that which you seek. Proverbs 12:24 “The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor”

7. Step living in the past. Build friends with people that share a common future with you. Most people limit their relationships to people that share a common past with them. Those that share the same visionary ideas with you should be amongst your strongest links. Philippians 3:13b-14 “Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize …….”

May 2023 Bring your that which we desire.

It seems Oshiomole is doing so much towards this election

I believe the comparison between Messi, Mikel and Taiwo has been over flogged and not necessary. Success means different thing to different persons. Mikel was very successful in his playing career, he won AFCON with Nigeria, Champions League and Europa Cup with Chelsea coupled with the Premiership, FA Cup and several other accomplishments.

Taiwo had a successful stint with Olympic Marseilles among other clubs in Europe. It is not every one that would be as successful as Lionel Messi. Persons like Messi are outliers and exceptional cases. They are quite few. I bet majority of persons on this platform can barely remember the names of the Youths that represented Germany and Italy in the same competition. From the Dutch squad only Ron Vlar, Ryan Babel Hegdewes Maduro played for big teams.
From the Switzerland Squad only Phillip Senderos and Johan Djorou achieved some form of success in their playing career.
The Spain team had Youths like David Silva, Juanfran, Cesc Fabrigas, Fernando Llorente, Raúl Albiol.
Aside from names like Lucas Biglia, Pablo Zabaleta, Ezequeil Garay, Sergio Aguero who else is knonwn from the Argentine team that won the championship.
Also remember that David Abwo, Olubayo Adefemi (late), Isaac Promise (late), John Owoeri were also in Nigeria.
Success come to us in varying degree. Taiwo and Mikel will always look back at their careers with smiles. Let’s leave them alone.

useni1:
Oya make Europe and America enter the war na? I am in Asia trying to access North Korea. Russia is even too big, North Korea will raze America and Europe to the ground. All their citizens will become fried potatoes

Please, tell me you are joking.

hairyman:
I think the lists are fine the way they are.

I doubt that they are meant to represent the woman's value. I see them more as a representation of a man's commitment to the journey he is about to embark on.

If the virginity part is relevant to you, then find only virgin women or a virgin woman to perform the rites for.

The western culture made marriage very easy to enter...and very easy to exit, moreso for women who can always get a lot of money from the man and probably a new husband in a short while. The result is that the family is nearly an extinct basic unit of their society.

Here a woman will think thrice before leaving because there will hardly be any man willing to commit to such a humongous list on her behalf anymore. A man, also, will not leave easily because to go through this process again is daunting!.
Ergo we learn to sort things out rather than go our ways. We also learn to deal with the reality that 'happily ever after" is nonsense. Marriage was never designed for that. Its a union in which spouses owe each other and their offsprings certain responsibilities which they must strive to fulfill. Interestingly, when they fulfill these responsibilities, things generally work out fine.

I got married during my NYSC. Even then the only grace my in-laws kindred gave me was to allow me pay for these in batches.
This system is common these days too.
And I agree with it. I agree that these lists might do well with a bit of review to weed out frivolities. But I certainly believe that they should never be scrapped.

In reference to the economic condition of the country, the tradition used to be that a poor man who cannot fulfill this responsibility is aided by his kindred. This makes sense because a poor man requires external aid to care for both his wife and the eventual offsprings. His kindred, by aiding his fulfillment of the commitment, is tacitly stating that they will be there to aid him in caring for his family.
This implies that we need to bring back out sense of community, something that has all but disappeared from our society.

But marriage lists....they should stay.

Bros, your understanding is quite deep. A lot of people miss out the point. You nailed it 100%

So far Ghana has maintain their shape and form.

This is no mean feat especially against a talented and formidable opponent like Portugal.

Lets hope they bring something extra into the game in the second half. They should also try to get more ball to Inaki Williams and the forward line.

Equally there are is a good number of good Islamic Private University e.g
- Fountain University, Osogbo
- Crescent University, Abeokuta
- Al Hikma University, Ilorin
- Al-Qalam University, Katsina
- Summit University, Offa.

To avoid the scenarios that the MURIC man spoke about, why would such Muslim students opt to attend a core Christian University, even when you know their rules.

Also, his use of unsavoury words is uncalled for.

Update.

Jose Gaya of Valencia FC, one of the defenders in the Spaniah team have been ruled out of the Qatar 2022 World Cup due to injuries.

His replacement will be announced soon.

JoeRizzla:
What about nairaland team??
I should be the star player with my picture over there

Give us the Nairaland team list, lets post it here.

GROUP H

Qatar 2022 would undoubtedly be Christiano Ronaldo last World Cup. He would want to do great stuff and leave a lasting memory in the mind of his fans worldwide. The Portugese team is equaly blessed with an array of exciting talents. The team is not lacking in any department, but they would also contend with the incredibly talented Uruguay team led by veterans of aggressive defending; Diego Godin and Jose Maria Jimenez.

The Uruguayian would also be banking on the goal scoring skills and craftiness of an aging Luis Suarez. In recent time Luis Suarez have been supplanted by Darwin Nunez of Liverpool a goal scorer of no-mean repute. The foraging play of Federico Valverde in the Uruaguayian midfield would be a handful for any time to contend with.

The Ghanians would never forget how Luis Surez denied them a place in the Semi Final of the World Cup in South Africa in 2010, now they would be confronting the Uruguayian team with revenge in their mind. The Ghanian would want to deny the South Americans a place in the round of 16. The Ghanian team is peopled with exciting young talents and also a visionary young African Coach. The black Stars would be one team the African continent would be looking up to; to project the African Pride. The ever exciting South Koreans would be bring to the table their own brand of attacking and high pressing football. Aside from Portugal, it will be too close to call the other team that would make it to the next round.

Star Players

Portugal - Christiano Ronaldo (Man Utd), Bruno Fernandez (Man Utd)

Ghana - Mohammed Kudus (Ajax), Inaki Williams (Athletico Bilbao)

Uruguay - Federico Valverde (Real Madrid), Darwin Nunez (Liverpool)

South Korea - Son Heung-Min (Totenham), Hwang Inbeom (olympiacos)