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Family / Re: Breeding Dysfunctional Children by Kayceenaz(m): 10:17am On May 01
cc: mynd44, oam4j, lalasticlala, seun, nlfpmod, fergie001.

Drop in holistic parental responsibility towards children in Nigeria warranted the post above. Kindly take a step to turn this tide by forwarding it to front page. Thank you.
Family / Breeding Dysfunctional Children by Kayceenaz(m): 10:09am On May 01
Many couples today are more interested in birthing and breeding children than raising them. Commonplace is assumption that a child's needs ranges from physiological (food, shelter, medical access, clothing), spiritual (religion) to educational (sponsored enrollment in school) dimensions. Positioning children towards self-awareness and teaching them complementary timeless values are either neglected or delegated. Are you on this table?

Ignorance and "I am so busy with work" excuse underpin this trend. Parents who didn't discuss how to raise their children at length during courting or lack pragmatic family information are a danger to society. Copying what previous couples did and present couples do are inevitable. Convention doesn't logically imply correctness. Some parents let chance dictate. They use positive affirmations to mask their vacuity. Also, some parents justify their long absence in nurturing their kids' minds with making money for family wellbeing. Maids and relatives, clueless about details of a husband and wife's marital vision, take over. Sole reliance on school teachers oozes parental irresponsibility. These tendencies harvest low-self-esteemed, non-visionary, mediocre, immoral, and deviant children. The bully and bullied girl in that recent Abuja British secondary school viral video stir parental questions.

In fact, as a potential and actual dad or mum, onus is on you to raise (not breed) your children to become aware of themselves in order to develop unique identities that endure and enhance humanity. But you can't do this from a place of scanty or zero knowledge. First, reevaluate interactions with your child so far, talk to him or her on distinctness as a human person, define corresponding values to imbibe, and reiterate them daily. Researches in psychology reveal it is best to shape children when young--I recommend from first year. It is more difficult with adults but not impossible. Second, readjust your work schedule. Commit now to spending at least one quality hour with your talking child daily. Listen to the naive questions, comments and use most as avenues to enlighten him or her on becoming assets. Take over from their nannies after you return. There is time. In the words of Carthaginian conqueror Hannibal, "There is always a way. If there is none, I will create one."

However, my position could be accused of indoctrination and underestimation of family tradition. These indicate misunderstanding. Enabling a child attain personal identity conditions him or her to think for himself or herself by rejecting dangerous conformity and modifying learned ideologies upwardly. Consciousness that family tradition is open to revision reflects a child on the road to exceptional. Don't breed your children, raise them.


©Kelechi O. Naze (KON)

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Family / Breeding Dysfunctional Children by Kayceenaz(m): 9:53am On May 01
Many couples today are more interested in birthing and breeding children than raising them. Commonplace is assumption that a child's needs ranges from physiological (food, shelter, medical access, clothing), spiritual (religion) to educational (sponsored enrollment in school) dimensions. Positioning children towards self-awareness and teaching them complementary timeless values are either neglected or delegated. Are you on this table?

Ignorance and "I am so busy with work" excuse underpin this trend. Parents who didn't discuss how to raise their children at length during courting or lack pragmatic family information are a danger to society. Copying what previous couples did and present couples do are inevitable. Convention doesn't logically imply correctness. Some parents let chance dictate. They use positive affirmations to mask their vacuity. Also, some parents justify their long absence in nurturing their kids' minds with making money for family wellbeing. Maids and relatives, clueless about details of a husband and wife's marital vision, take over. Sole reliance on school teachers oozes parental irresponsibility. These tendencies harvest low-self-esteemed, non-visionary, mediocre, immoral, and deviant children. The bully and bullied girl in that recent Abuja British secondary school viral video stir parental questions.

In fact, as a potential and actual dad or mum, onus is on you to raise (not breed) your children to become aware of themselves in order to develop unique identities that endure and enhance humanity. But you can't do this from a place of scanty or zero knowledge; that's why I (an excellent personal development speaker) exist to aid you jump this hurdle online and offline. First, reevaluate interactions with your child so far, talk to him or her on distinctness as a human person, define corresponding values to imbibe, and reiterate them daily. Researches in psychology reveal it is best to shape children when young--I recommend from first year. It is more difficult with adults but not impossible. Second, readjust your work schedule. Commit now to spending at least one quality hour with your talking child daily. Listen to the naive questions, comments and use most as avenues to enlighten on becoming assets. Take over from their nannies after you return. There is time. In the words of Carthaginian conqueror Hannibal, "There is always a way. If there is none, I will create one."

However, my recommendation could be accused of indoctrination and underestimation of family tradition. These indicate misunderstanding. Enabling a child attain personal identity conditions him or her to think for himself or herself by rejecting dangerous conformity and modifying learned ideologies upwardly. Consciousness that family tradition is open to revision and amelioration reflects a child on the road to exceptional. Don't breed your children, raise them.


©KON

Literature/Writing Ads / Re: An Expert Creative Content Writer You Need by Kayceenaz(m): 4:28pm On Apr 27
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Literature / Re: Short Story: First School Day May Be The Last by Kayceenaz(m): 10:40pm On Apr 11
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Literature / Short Story: First School Day May Be The Last by Kayceenaz(m): 7:30am On Apr 06
Monday morning opens door of a new session on a gleeful note for the excited mid-teen students. Pleasantries traded in hilarity swept through almost every classroom inch. It seemed freedom had begun heeding their entreaties. Stepping up to the next grade was a reminder of proximity to life without parental decrees.

Miss Theresa Mayozi, garbed in her green-white-red polka-dotted gown accentuating a six-foot physique, took some minutes more to offload learning materials on the adjacent table.

“Good day! Everyone,” she greeted. The students responded, unimpressed by her mid-thirties appealing youth while reaching for their desks. Silence, though skepticism-sodden, pervaded.

Their previous grade teacher shared similar features but teacher-student interface thereafter enlightened them appearance isn’t reality. Miss Patricia negated her humility and friendliness they surmised. Wearing a lukewarm mask in mingling with Miss Theresa was the consensus.

“I am Miss Theresa Mayozi, your 10th grade teacher. I hope our academic journey together would be remarkable and memorable,” Miss Theresa introduced herself. Zest in her voice coincided with perplexity in her mind about lethargy of the students. She was, unknown to her, paying for another’s debt.

Shaking the hurdle off, Miss Theresa proceeded to scribble “History” on the whiteboard. “What’s your understanding of this concept?” She u-turned, inquiring from her audience seated mute for ages.

Thirty-two seconds passed. Finally, a hand rose to break the ice. Alvin, edified by those evening strolls alongside his ex-US army officer father with scars from Vietnam and Afghanistan, answered “History tells us about battles humans fought.”

Following, Gabriella—orphaned at two and bred by her novel-loving maternal grandmother—conquered the warring nerves within to contribute, “History deals with stories told about yesterday."

James, whose fleshy and rotund build earned him a “humpty-dumpty” nickname, added “History explains little we have on our plate today, because of much we didn’t prepare yesterday.” Knowledge of his marriage to food plunged other students into laughter. It overrode appreciation of metaphor permeating the answer, one sighted by Miss Theresa. She beamed a smile in gratitude for both the denotative attempt and comic relief.

As Miss Theresa quoted G.W.F. Hegel—“We learn from history that we do not learn from history”—to synthesize the contributions and as a preamble to her definition, gunshot sounds thundered from outside. “Everybody on the floor now,” she bellowed to the terrified students, squatting her way to ensure closed windows for threat mitigation.

The students drew her attention to Clara’s asthmatic crisis triggered by shock. She was breathing fast, gasping for air and slipping away. Miss Theresa’s experience from a stint in paramedics as a volunteer came in handy. She maintained calm and sought an inhaler from Clara’s multi-layered bag. Fear-laden screams from neighboring classrooms tensed the atmosphere further; varieties of causal speculations saturated.

“Hurry up, please,” Miley, Clara’s best friend, muttered in tears cascading down her cheeks. Finding the inhaler was relieving but its content insufficient. Clara planned to purchase a new one after school. The perturbed teacher resorted to mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, it worked, stability ensued Clara’s deep breath.

Meanwhile, Gregory bled. Red droplets on the floor led to him. Miss Theresa raced to her handbag, reaching for a towel-like handkerchief to minimize the leak pending help’s arrival.
Mr. Maxwell, the principal’s secretary, wafted in. “We are on top of the situation. Everyone calm down. You are now safe,” he informed them. Heaves of relief echoed. It dawned on the students their first school day in a new grade could have been their last.

“Wait a minute, Maxwell,” disheveled Miss Theresa hurried to where he stood. Her enquiry about the pandemonium’s cause revealed an irate 9th grade student fired a two-round pistol at a fellow student—who fled and evaded burial with a leg bullet wound—and others within sight. Fortune was kind, the other bullet landed on a nearby wall before the student was besieged by security. “Nobody else was hurt,” he concluded.

Indeed, the high school did little in the preceding weeks to forestall this terror, given reports of pockets of fatal shooting in schools around the country. That was ample incentive to mount scanning devices at entry points or activate stronger security protocols. The management didn’t learn from history.

Forty minutes later, the principal, Dr. Catherine, toured classes, apologizing effusively and reassuring students of their safety. Miss Theresa’s students were particularly detailed, flooding the principal with tales of her proactive efforts when uncertainty stared. Again, their preconceptions were wrong.

©KON

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Family / Re: Does Divorce Happen Before Or During Marriage? by Kayceenaz(m): 12:30pm On Mar 02
cc: seun
Literature / Re: KON: HIRE A CONTENT-WRITING EXPERT NOW by Kayceenaz(m): 12:51pm On Feb 12
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Family / Re: Is Love Enough? by Kayceenaz(m): 6:40pm On Jan 21
cc: royalroy, mynd44, seun

Kindly forward to front page to make many blind see.
Literature / Re: Rational Pen: Highly Skilled Writer Now Available by Kayceenaz(m): 11:22am On Jan 21
Excellence.
Family / Re: Does Divorce Happen Before Or During Marriage? by Kayceenaz(m): 10:53am On Jan 21
cc: mynd44, royalroy, seun.

Front page material. This post will help many avoid marital crashes.
Family / Is Love Enough? by Kayceenaz(m): 10:50am On Jan 21
I've often seen netizens post and heard people in conversations declare "Love is not enough" in preserving romantic/marital relationships. They cite financial, professional, and familial factors as inclusive. This view seems a no brainer, a truth worth embracing. I admit temptation to follow this trail previously but reevaluation exposes how mistaken a belief this is. This error shapes failures rampant before and after marriage today in Nigeria. Love is enough, I will make this crystal.

"Love is not enough" stems from misinterpretation of love itself. Love in romantic circles is loaded with feelings relating to deep affection, desire, infatuation, or pleasure. Whereas most gentlemen describe love-interests swirl their heads nonstop, most ladies describe butterflies lurking in their stomachs. Certain of love they are. But love transcends these emotions which are biochemical responses to environmental stimuli. Reality of these feelings varnishing when stimulators (certain actions of him/her) are absent underscore love as worth more in meaning. Love is a decision, requiring more of reason and less of emotions to be. It is an intentional step to be with a person (for a lifetime in this context), pledging commitment and loyalty, having been convinced of similarity in visions and actions.

Thus, "Love at first sight" is an illusion; self-deception. Many people mistake attraction for love, that explains their heartbreaks and marital struggles. Attraction triggers curiosity which births love; you can be attracted without being in love. True love is preceded by a deep-level understanding of him/her. It provides insight on their vision, values, priorities, strengths, and weaknesses; an attempt to appreciate for who, not what, he/she is. Your reason is most helpful here. After comprehension, then decision to love follows or not. This is a sustainable interpretation of love, not one largely built on fleeting feelings. It keeps you loyal amidst storms. Love is enough when you love right.


©Kelechi O. Naze

Family / Re: Does Divorce Happen Before Or During Marriage? by Kayceenaz(m): 12:31pm On Jan 07
cc: royalroy, seun.
Literature / Re: KON: HIRE A CONTENT-WRITING EXPERT NOW by Kayceenaz(m): 10:46am On Jan 07
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Family / Re: Does Divorce Happen Before Or During Marriage? by Kayceenaz(m): 8:42am On Jan 07
Maisiba:
It happens long before the marriage is over. Technically, it happens before during, and after the marriage.
Before marriage is the most crucial; during marriage are symptoms of negligence on either the husband or wife's part.
Family / Re: Does Divorce Happen Before Or During Marriage? by Kayceenaz(m): 12:37am On Jan 07
cc: mynd44, seun, royalroy

Front page material.
Family / Does Divorce Happen Before Or During Marriage? by Kayceenaz(m): 12:31am On Jan 07
The above could make you wonder whether you read right. Indeed, you did. In this era of divorce cases upsurge, this discussion couldn't be timelier and attempts to unravel its root. As unprecedented as the question is, it draws attention to the unpopular viewpoint that divorce is facilitated before rather than during marriage as many people think. I argue so for a sole reason.


Divorce reflects a couple's inadequate preparation before marriage. It is worrisome preparation today has been reduced to secondary matters like outfits, halls, food, drinks, decoration, guests, family connections, and pictures. Primary matters of self-awareness, mutual desire, redefinition of love as a decision, visions compatibility, home vision-setting, values selection, envisaging best and worst (what if conception is delayed for long?) marital scenarios somewhat and suitable reactions, careers reconciliation, family financial priorities, managing in-laws, preferred pattern of raising children, ways of preventing and resisting extramarital affairs, love languages, and conflict management are neglected. This is core preparation, ask right questions! Seek objective analyses through self-discipline, overlook monetary/physical incentives, for your future's sake. Some couples may claim to have discussed them but investigation often reveals no depth. Most divorces are traceable to either shallow considerations or resolution misapplications. Needless to mention Basketmouth-Elsie Okpocha and Yul-May Edochie cases. Failing to prepare before marriage is preparing to divorce after marriage.


But someone may disagree and contend my position is rife with assumptions, because there are cases that some couples went with the flow, yielded to parental/peer preferences and personal whims, and remained together to date after several decades. Thus, the perspective above is redundant and an effort to complicate marriage. I respond thus: How truly harmonious is that couple outside cameras of your eyes? It is possible that husband and wife struggle through each year with disloyalty and silent rancour for their marriage to survive.


Hence, marrying based on assumptions, not thorough consensual resolutions, is a recipe for becoming a divorcee on paper or miserable spouse imagining divorce daily. Also, my view overcomes intervention of chance in avoiding divorce by ensuring purposefulness before and during marriage. Prevent "Irreconcilable differences" later by preparing now to the letter!


©Kelechi O. Naze (KON)

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