₦airaland Forum

@ sis -kill , thanks for clarification,

@ outstrip,
while i might get wat u're saying now, i would repeat again, never did i suggest an advise for this lady, i laid that experience for her to see that watever she is going thru, ppl have gone thru worse, besides like someone said earlier have u heard from the husband' side. refereing to me as clueless, i believe for all the clue u've got, ur intelligence should have prompted you to take an outside view of this post, belief watever poster may have posted there could be as little has small difference if we are to hear from hubby's side. there's danger from concluding on a single story u know. having said that if i have insulted you, or you find my reply insultive, i apologize.

going on, how many of you have rather looked at it that an 18yr old getting married would not marry a jobless guy, would probably have seen little financial security before she agreed to marriage, if only she could describe his status from before marriage, first few yrs in marriage and then present, u think looking at how she has talked to far, she would have gotten into marriage at that age to a jobless nor future ambition guy, bring out as many 18yrs who would do that.

and if u also read my first post further, i suggest wat i would tell her houls she be my sister, that means i am not condoning hubby's attitude, i believe he has a wrong mentality, and attitude, i even said he should step up to plate. have u ever thought should position be reveresed we would be talking about a cheating husband now cos he would be the one providing while lady is at home, and he would be the one ex is flirting with.

@ outsrip,

thing is there are loads of people that think they own or rather control some sections on this forum, feel they have tailored made amswers to questions and situations, belive in their perfect way of expressing themselves, i believe if u read thru wat i posted on there i never told the poster wat to neither did i advise her to take a step, all i said was" if u were my sister", she is not , so she has every right to make a decision that suits her very well, i dont know wat is between both husband and wife, all i did was to make her understand if she feels she has done so much, she's passing thru hell, some have done better, some have passed thru worse, and in the end, they worked together.

In ur mind, to feel u are right by rendering insults to my dad only shows the kind of person you are, you wouldnt live with someone like him fine, but thank God he has a reasoning person who lived along and helped him thru, they're both happy, enjoying the benefit of their hardwork and they respect eachother as husband and wife, so u are you to dictate what is right or wrong to him, i belive this is about giving advice to the op, so you should do that and not try to dissect and scrutinise watever i have posted. i repeat you dont know him so have no right to insult him cos i havent done that to any one. ok.

i've been reading the family section on nairaland for years, and believe me it has really helped with me with different and opposing views of life, relationship, understanding how someone different from you veiws and analyses things, more than often i've resisted making comments on this board even though sometimes the pull is too strong but today the pull was so strong i weighed in.

now my only concern having read so far is how the OP is obviously somewhere reading how the husband, her husband that she once declared love, eternal love for is being ridiculed, imagine someone labelled him a "Jobless eediot", cause a husband who is still as caring as ever, takes care of his home, his kid, has one sin , being jobless, u subject him to ridicule. u have invited abuse and insults on your husband, i only wish someone can help him on here to see how he has been dragged and stripped to strangers to ridicule him.

i 'll let some few things about my self, family, you talk about 7yrs, let me tell about a woman that has almost all her life fend for her family, in her almost 34yrs of marriage she has been the breadwinner for God knows 25yrs, at some point in their marriage my dad was out of job for 3yrs in lagos, he would take me and my sister to school from ojota to maryland, my mum worked at UAC then, guess what my mum would run home after work immediately, my mum would plead with my dad "ma ronu", ma lo se ogun owo", (dont ever think of using ur private part to make money), now my dad was an executive when he married my mum, he along with 3 friends had an advertizing firm but it crashed and he couldnt take out his invested money, the only thing he took out was a passat car in 1985.

Things improved after that, he got back into work, but guess what God has continued to bless my mum, she left her UAC job to become a major distributor with the same company, dad's business has continued to be on and off, my mum has invested in over 10yrs close to 15 million on his printing business and she hasnt even recouped up to 4million, my mum has paid for 3 children to study abroad for masters, infact my sister did in both UK and US, my dad only paid my ticket when i was coming for masters, my mum paid my school fees, first 5 months accomodation and gave me 1500 pounds befeore i left, i'm the second in the house, dont get me wrong whenever he has he is responsible but over the years, he has had bad managers running his business till he retired to handle it by himself, and u know wat every of his family comes around for help, from schooling to even sponsoring their wedding and he does. when he retired he gave my mum 4 million from his entitlement but guess wat he has since borrowed more than that from her , my mum also would sometimes advice him to give his business up and join her in her business, but my dad would say he can never sell Gala, mum is about the 6th distributor in their ranking with UAC foods. my dad would have 3 cars and just recently gave up the third to my mum, but he still has his 2 jeep, while my mum only has her buses for business, she goes to work in them and come back in them, my dad has two houses including the one we live, my mum would just be finishing her first house she built her self though her mum left her 1.

my mum earns the respect of everyone from her immediate family to extended ones to neighbours cause they see what she has done in keeping her house together, i am still looking for someone who can do all this yet still makes sure her husbands is well catered for and respects him, sometimes she would delibrately allow her driver leave the house so she could follow her husband out even though she is going to meet the driver. she would give any money to her husband and when we ask her she would say "go and meet your father". her sister calls her Ruth, she once said "won ni mo kole , awon omo yi nko, se ile ko ni won" meaning they say for all i've worked i dont have a house wat about these children are they not storey buildings each.

i believe the posters that have said how a wise woman keeps her home have said it all, u see the very first thing that comes out from ladies mouth now is i'm unhappy, in an unhappy marriage, can you please search and find me one that is happy all her marriage, never miserable at all, let me meet her, u think you've endured (which u indeed have), some ppl would tell you you have tried, dump him, please do, somehow, somewhere he would pick himself and someone might pick him, he would not remain jobless and miserable for life.

if u were my sister i would advise you to give it a try again, if it means getting more ppl involved so he would be a lil bit ashamed of himself, his attitude and step up to do something. remember should you find a solution to this issue you would only remember how you have stripped him publicly and subject him to ridicule such as the one i posted above and ask why you went that far.

and to those that find pleasure in beating someone down, someone you dont know but because you feel you know it all , i bet you have all seen a crystal that has showed you how rosy and happy you will continue to be all your life and how you can deal with eveyrthing that comes your way. goodluck and conitnue to exhibit mrs perfect.

I havent been on this thread for a while after i asked some questions regarding getting a role after certification, now i need an advice after my Nebosh IGC, my exam centre approached me about their new nebosh course , that is the Nebosh technical certificate in oil and gas safety, and they also confirmed that if was doing this i would be given a fire safety or contruction safety course to do free of charge, can you advise

1, is it ok for me to do this oil and gas safety even after my IGS with no job to show so far

2, should i decide to take it, which would be more attractive btw the fire and construction, as i'm thinking the construction cert will be useful in the UK HSE environment which i am, but if i am looking towards oil and gas, fire might probably be better off, please advice, thanks, mr debosky its been a while.

Hi all, this is a reply to debosky's post , thanks your for ur reply and getting back to me, currently i'm in lagos and have come to see if iu could push my search down here as i 've friends who came home and got intersting package, in the UK, i live in coventry, loads of ppl have advised i move to scotland , bt i believe u know its not easy to do that only to start searching for jobs now, i've had about 7-8 months working experience handling carbon footprinting and implementation of iso14001 for a company called international fasteners in warwickshire, it was paid monthly by a university called keele university and after the period the job finished i couldnt continue as the company was a medium sized one and didnt want to continue paying for the role, while i was with them i worked with a consultant from groundworks, major part of the role also included compiling the regulations and legislations associated with the company activities, thats all i've done and i did my nebosh after dat, if there is any advise you hav for me or any assistance i could get fell free to put the here may be othes could also benefit, thanks once again, hope to hear frm u.

sorry to derail this thread a bit , bt debosky please i left a message on the hse thread , please i would like to ask you some few details concerning environmental consulting , please kindly read and reply me

Hello all, its been fun and educative reading this thread, i learnt about SAP a while a go, i need an advice here and would very much like a fast response, i studied msc in environmental management, i have a health and safety nebosh cert in occupational health. i have gone on the main SAP, i mean their web page and read alot on their programme on sustainability, health and safety, oil and gas , i just want to know with my background how do fit in in to SAP, can i progress in the area i listed above under SAP if i take those courses, what other area can you advise me to go for, i am stuck between doing this and PRINCE2 ( Project management) and i want to make a decision very soon, i also want to know the chances of someone with this qualifications as regarding nigeria, how much the course would cost me should i want to pursue it. i hope i can get answers for this as i'm a little bit stuck, thanks

i'm so sorry to derail this topic a bit, i'm new on the forum, i just saw a quote from debosky regarding environmental management consulting, if u see this post debosky i'm wondering if there 's anything i could gain from your experience, i studied msc in carbon and environmental management about 2ys ago, i've had few volunteering and placement positions, i've even had a 6 months contract role b4, at the moment i just concluded my nebosh general certificate, i'm wondering if i could get information about penetrating the industry regarding permanent positions as i crave for this very much. pls u can reach me on kaysiwoniku@yahoo.com or better still provide your email address and i will get back to you. look forward to your reply, thanks.