Thanks Lastpage for weighing in on the issue. Your well-constructed argument is a masterpiece of infallible logic.

jennykadry:

Ha ha ha funny

Why do you people just call women that don't side with evil, frustrated, lonely, old ,single e.t.c?

Seriously?

Are you minding them and their typiical responses. Exactly why Im not responding to that re-tard.

are you not whining?

Every marriage has got Ups and Downs

This is yours ooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Think out of the box and pray , solutions will come to you.

Both of you should find a quite place and have heart to heart talk.

@op i tink u re a wicked woman n dats wot ur son will see in u wen he grows up.no matter who u decide to marry now or later,ur son will always hate u.will u tell ur son in d future dat u left his dad cos he was jobless?you go suffer.you are still thinking like small baby.mayb divorce is d trend in uk n u jus want to be like dem.ur ignorance has made u nt 2 see a promisin man who cares about his family.Mayb u re d one who has brought bad luck to him and as soon as u leave him,luck will shine on him again as soon as u leave him.you did nt complain when he had a job and now as a graduate you re ranting.its jus you i pity and not him cos he'll alwayz get bak on his feet as a man.n you wil never see a man like him in any other man because dey are scarce.you are just impatient,selfish,greedy,a liar n an ingrate.let dat fb guy dey deceive u.remember he has not seen u for eight years n he is callin u love.common sense should tell you he is jus flirtin with u n tryin 2 be wit u 4 his selfish reasons wen dere re lots of pretty single girls he sees everyday in naija.read btw d lines.

Taiw:

@op i tink u re a wicked woman n dats wot your son will see in u wen he grows up.no matter who u decide to marry now or later,your son will always hate u.will u tell your son in d future dat u left his dad cos he was jobless?you go suffer.you are still thinking like small baby.mayb divorce is d trend in uk n u jus want to be like dem.your ignorance has made u nt 2 see a promisin man who cares about his family.Mayb u re d one who has brought bad luck to him and as soon as u leave him,luck will shine on him again as soon as u leave him.you did nt complain when he had a job and now as a graduate you re ranting.its jus you i pity and not him cos he'll alwayz get bak on his feet as a man.n you wil never see a man like him in any other man because dey are scarce.you are just impatient,selfish,greedy,a liar n an ingrate.let dat fb guy dey deceive u.remember he has not seen u for eight years n he is callin u love.common sense should tell you he is jus flirtin with u n tryin 2 be wit u 4 his selfish reasons wen dere re lots of pretty single girls he sees everyday in naija.read btw d lines.

Honestly you need to shut the fcuck up

Thanks jennifer74, for the compliment,

I think maturity and upbringing is a major factor, when it comes to "advising on marital issues".
Not everyone should, Not everyone can!

Only very few people raised in "broken homes," know the value of "Daddy & Mummy sticking together", come rain or shine!

By their "utterances" you would surely identify them!

Cheers,
Lastpage.


BTW: Celebrate with me, my eldest son gained admission to the University this September (He had three options to choose from as his college results was outstanding!).
It could not have been possible if his Mum had 'bailed-out" when the going was tough for me!
But that period is 'history' now.
One day  l will give a son out in marriage, a worthy son for that matter.
My prayer is that God of heaven will provide for him, his own wife, one that will stick with him, through thick and thin, afterall, life is not a bed of roses!
Just like there is Day and Night, Hills and Valleys, smiles and tears, temptation would come but God will see us through!
Ti'yin naa ade'o!

Donlittle:

this hoes the same, all that change is the outfit

are you referring to mercy johnson.

@Poster,

Remember your wedding vows.

For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, etc, etc.


You're probably thinking the grass is always greener on the other side, but you forgot that united you stand, divided you fall.


Btw, I'd get stewed up if someone called my wife "hey love". Poster,  it would appear that you consented to it, as a curt reply to put ur EX BF in check would have put you in good stead.


If you would like to know how easy it would be, why don't you try out demo divorce.

Wow! Marriage really has it's "joys". The poster has evidently made her mind up to dump the "loser" husband and of course, she's "just" 26yrs of age,has time on her side and the grass seems greener today. Why shouldn't she dump the loser who made her "slave" her youthful years and messed up her life with marriage. She "deserves" better. She is also worried about "her child" who dropped from the sky with no effort from the man. It's her,her,her,her,her and her. And we wonder why men die earlier.

Mistake!

0.75 + 1.25 = 2 husbands/men!

One is the current "looser", the second is the FaceBook sweetheart!
.
.
.
.
.
Dont mind me, l know its a Typo, am only pulling your legs computer screen!

i've been reading the family section on nairaland for years, and believe me it has really helped with me with different and opposing views of life, relationship, understanding how someone different from you veiws and analyses things, more than often i've resisted making comments on this board even though sometimes the pull is too strong but today the pull was so strong i weighed in.

now my only concern having read so far is how the OP is obviously somewhere reading how the husband, her husband that she once declared love, eternal love for is being ridiculed, imagine someone labelled him a "Jobless eediot", cause a husband who is still as caring as ever, takes care of his home, his kid, has one sin , being jobless, u subject him to ridicule. u have invited abuse and insults on your husband, i only wish someone can help him on here to see how he has been dragged and stripped to strangers to ridicule him.

i 'll let some few things about my self, family, you talk about 7yrs, let me tell about a woman that has almost all her life fend for her family, in her almost 34yrs of marriage she has been the breadwinner for God knows 25yrs, at some point in their marriage my dad was out of job for 3yrs in lagos, he would take me and my sister to school from ojota to maryland, my mum worked at UAC then, guess what my mum would run home after work immediately, my mum would plead with my dad "ma ronu", ma lo se ogun owo", (dont ever think of using ur private part to make money), now my dad was an executive when he married my mum, he along with 3 friends had an advertizing firm but it crashed and he couldnt take out his invested money, the only thing he took out was a passat car in 1985.

Things improved after that, he got back into work, but guess what God has continued to bless my mum, she left her UAC job to become a major distributor with the same company, dad's business has continued to be on and off, my mum has invested in over 10yrs close to 15 million on his printing business and she hasnt even recouped up to 4million, my mum has paid for 3 children to study abroad for masters, infact my sister did in both UK and US, my dad only paid my ticket when i was coming for masters, my mum paid my school fees, first 5 months accomodation and gave me 1500 pounds befeore i left, i'm the second in the house, dont get me wrong whenever he has he is responsible but over the years, he has had bad managers running his business till he retired to handle it by himself, and u know wat every of his family comes around for help, from schooling to even sponsoring their wedding and he does. when he retired he gave my mum 4 million from his entitlement but guess wat he has since borrowed more than that from her , my mum also would sometimes advice him to give his business up and join her in her business, but my dad would say he can never sell Gala, mum is about the 6th distributor in their ranking with UAC foods. my dad would have 3 cars and just recently gave up the third to my mum, but he still has his 2 jeep, while my mum only has her buses for business, she goes to work in them and come back in them, my dad has two houses including the one we live, my mum would just be finishing her first house she built her self though her mum left her 1.

my mum earns the respect of everyone from her immediate family to extended ones to neighbours cause they see what she has done in keeping her house together, i am still looking for someone who can do all this yet still makes sure her husbands is well catered for and respects him, sometimes she would delibrately allow her driver leave the house so she could follow her husband out even though she is going to meet the driver. she would give any money to her husband and when we ask her she would say "go and meet your father". her sister calls her Ruth, she once said "won ni mo kole , awon omo yi nko, se ile ko ni won" meaning they say for all i've worked i dont have a house wat about these children are they not storey buildings each.

i believe the posters that have said how a wise woman keeps her home have said it all, u see the very first thing that comes out from ladies mouth now is i'm unhappy, in an unhappy marriage, can you please search and find me one that is happy all her marriage, never miserable at all, let me meet her, u think you've endured (which u indeed have), some ppl would tell you you have tried, dump him, please do, somehow, somewhere he would pick himself and someone might pick him, he would not remain jobless and miserable for life.

if u were my sister i would advise you to give it a try again, if it means getting more ppl involved so he would be a lil bit ashamed of himself, his attitude and step up to do something. remember should you find a solution to this issue you would only remember how you have stripped him publicly and subject him to ridicule such as the one i posted above and ask why you went that far.

and to those that find pleasure in beating someone down, someone you dont know but because you feel you know it all , i bet you have all seen a crystal that has showed you how rosy and happy you will continue to be all your life and how you can deal with eveyrthing that comes your way. goodluck and conitnue to exhibit mrs perfect.

Please your epistle is too long. What you have chosen to ignore is that this man is jobless by choice. He does not want to work because the jobs he has found are beneath him. He is not responsible. The child goes to child care so it is not like he is saving the family money when it comes to child care. You cannot compare your fathers situation one bit to this man. As a matter of fact it is an insult to you dad to even do that. If you have to flip hamburgers for a while then so be it. No excuses please. He needs to wake up and be a man. Period.

@ outsrip,

thing is there are loads of people that think they own or rather control some sections on this forum, feel they have tailored made amswers to questions and situations, belive in their perfect way of expressing themselves, i believe if u read thru wat i posted on there i never told the poster wat to neither did i advise her to take a step, all i said was" if u were my sister", she is not , so she has every right to make a decision that suits her very well, i dont know wat is between both husband and wife, all i did was to make her understand if she feels she has done so much, she's passing thru hell, some have done better, some have passed thru worse, and in the end, they worked together.

In ur mind, to feel u are right by rendering insults to my dad only shows the kind of person you are, you wouldnt live with someone like him fine, but thank God he has a reasoning person who lived along and helped him thru, they're both happy, enjoying the benefit of their hardwork and they respect eachother as husband and wife, so u are you to dictate what is right or wrong to him, i belive this is about giving advice to the op, so you should do that and not try to dissect and scrutinise watever i have posted. i repeat you dont know him so have no right to insult him cos i havent done that to any one. ok.

Kayyy:

@ outsrip,

thing is there are loads of people that think they own or rather control some sections on this forum, feel they have tailored made amswers to questions and situations, belive in their perfect way of expressing themselves, i believe if u read thru wat i posted on there i never told the poster wat to neither did i advise her to take a step, all i said was" if u were my sister", she is not , so she has every right to make a decision that suits her very well, i dont know wat is between both husband and wife, all i did was to make her understand if she feels she has done so much, she's passing thru hell, some have done better, some have passed thru worse, and in the end, they worked together. 

In your  mind, to feel u are right by rendering insults to my dad only shows the kind of person you are, you wouldnt live with someone like him fine, but thank God he has a reasoning person who lived along and helped him thru, they're both happy, enjoying the benefit of their hardwork and they respect eachother as husband and wife, so u are you to dictate what is right or wrong to him, i belive this is about giving advice to the op, so you should do that and not try to dissect and scrutinise watever i have posted. i repeat you dont know him so have no right to insult him cos i havent done that to any one. ok.

Dude, you are missing outstrips' point. That you compare OP's husband to your dad. . .your HARDWORKING father is an insult to dear daddy. Your father didn't sit at home playing peek-a-boo on facebook, he took care of his children, he supported your mom and he looked for ways to get himself back on track. If OP's husband was half. . . a quarter of the man your dad was, she won't be here today.

Do you know why it was easy for your mom to rush home everyday and tell your dad "Ma ronu"? She saw his EFFORTS, she knew he would "Ronu" because he was not a LAZY MAN and he took PRIDE in being seen as the family provider. Your parents are PARTNERS, from your own words, you can see the give and take aspects of their relationship. How on earth can you degrade what they had. . have to the level of what OP and her husband have? Major insult!

I swear, sometimes it is better not to say anything at all than say something that indirectly sullies a beautiful thing (In this case. . .your parent's marriage)

Kayyy:

@ outsrip,

thing is there are loads of people that think they own or rather control some sections on this forum, feel they have tailored made amswers to questions and situations, belive in their perfect way of expressing themselves, i believe if u read thru wat i posted on there i never told the poster wat to neither did i advise her to take a step, all i said was" if u were my sister", she is not , so she has every right to make a decision that suits her very well, i dont know wat is between both husband and wife, all i did was to make her understand if she feels she has done so much, she's passing thru hell, some have done better, some have passed thru worse, and in the end, they worked together.

In your mind, to feel u are right by rendering insults to my dad only shows the kind of person you are, you wouldnt live with someone like him fine, but thank God he has a reasoning person who lived along and helped him thru, they're both happy, enjoying the benefit of their hardwork and they respect eachother as husband and wife, so u are you to dictate what is right or wrong to him, i belive this is about giving advice to the op, so you should do that and not try to dissect and scrutinise watever i have posted. i repeat you dont know him so have no right to insult him cos i havent done that to any one. ok.

Why don't you go back and read what you wrote. I cautioned you on comparing this man to your dad. never did I insult your father. Go back and read it then be mad at yourself. I guess at the end of the day you are so totally clueless if you wrote what you wrote and came back and said I insulted your father. Nonsense

Sisi_Kill:

Dude, you are missing outstrips' point. That you compare OP's husband to your dad. . .your HARDWORKING father is an insult to dear daddy. Your father didn't sit at home playing peek-a-boo on facebook, he took care of his children, he supported your mom and he looked for ways to get himself back on track. If OP's husband was half. . . a quarter of the man your dad was, she won't be here today.

Do you know why it was easy for your mom to rush home everyday and tell your dad "Ma ronu"? She saw his EFFORTS, she knew he would "Ronu" because he was not a LAZY MAN and he took PRIDE in being seen as the family provider. Your parents are PARTNERS, from your own words, you can see the give and take aspects of their relationship. How on earth can you degrade what they had. . have to the level of what OP and her husband have? Major insult!

I swear, sometimes it is better not to say anything at all than say something that indirectly sullies a beautiful thing (In this case. . .your parent's marriage)

Ahh Sisikill thank you. Maybe I was not speaking english.

Illiterates populate this board. Seriously

Look at mo-rons comparing their own families to this BS

Wow. Embarrassing.

@ sis -kill , thanks for clarification,

@ outstrip,
while i might get wat u're saying now, i would repeat again, never did i suggest an advise for this lady, i laid that experience for her to see that watever she is going thru, ppl have gone thru worse, besides like someone said earlier have u heard from the husband' side. refereing to me as clueless, i believe for all the clue u've got, ur intelligence should have prompted you to take an outside view of this post, belief watever poster may have posted there could be as little has small difference if we are to hear from hubby's side. there's danger from concluding on a single story u know. having said that if i have insulted you, or you find my reply insultive, i apologize.

going on, how many of you have rather looked at it that an 18yr old getting married would not marry a jobless guy, would probably have seen little financial security before she agreed to marriage, if only she could describe his status from before marriage, first few yrs in marriage and then present, u think looking at how she has talked to far, she would have gotten into marriage at that age to a jobless nor future ambition guy, bring out as many 18yrs who would do that.

and if u also read my first post further, i suggest wat i would tell her houls she be my sister, that means i am not condoning hubby's attitude, i believe he has a wrong mentality, and attitude, i even said he should step up to plate. have u ever thought should position be reveresed we would be talking about a cheating husband now cos he would be the one providing while lady is at home, and he would be the one ex is flirting with.

@ TOF, only an internet/online thug replies the way you did, and for all your IV league education, you can stoop this low, terrible,

i believe something should be done to this issue of posters that behave like warlord, tyrant on this forum, i dont trade insult with ladies, i have one at home, i also have them as families that i love and respect, so i would leave you to wallow in your shame.

Stfu phaggot.

Arguing with women like a market woman.

all you could say is "he has a wrong mentality" Only worked 8 months in 7 years and that's all you could say about the man YET she should still stay in the "marriage"

Please go and sleep. Odada

like you are to teach me what to say?, are you being serious at all, see cause you're a woman you can insult as u like, and i should take it on my chin,

like i said before continue to wallow in your show of shame.

I cant be bothered with you. Kevin Hart is cracking me up

Sisi, are you watching this LOL

Honestly kayyyy, you will make more sense if you just STFU.

Do you understand English at all? Your father did not sit back at home and tell your mum that lots of jobs are beneath him, your father did not borrow money from friends to give to his siblings whilst neglecting your mother.

Are you high on weed or what?

LMFAO!!!

I am ooh! I am!!!!

Tee hee hee

Pls divorce the guy.

A jobless man has no right to complain about Facebook cheating

The Proverbs 31 Woman :

10An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
rare, precious
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
trustworthy
12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
kind
Her Character
as a Wife

13She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
works joyfully
14She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
goes extra mile to get choicest goods
15She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
disciplined
16She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
enterprising, prudent with money
17She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
energetic
18She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
good steward
19She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
diligent
Her Devotion
as a Homemaker

20She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
compassionate, generous
Her Generosity
as a Neighbor

21She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
provident
22She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
elegant
23Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
influential
24She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
industrious
Her Devotion
as a Homemaker

25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
poised
26She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
wise
Her Influence
as a Teacher

27She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
manages her home
28Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
praiseworthy
29"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."
distinguished
Her Effectiveness
as a Mother

30Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
God-fearing
31Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.

     Gone are the days when men where men. Apologies to the few real men out there. I mean someone is here telling the woman to go and search for a job for the man that sits at home all day. If he spends the 8 hours a day that the woman spends working looking for a job we will not even be having this conversation. In fact if she came here and says that the man has been working at mcdonalds for the past three years and she feels it is beneath her we would have told her to go eat poo poo. I wonder what the bare minimum of head of household is these days if this is the advice someone gives to a working mother and wife.

Kayy the idea that an 18 year old will not marry a man that is not already made is just plain ridiculous. Many of us married our husbands when they had nothing and a woman that works for as many years as this poster has worked with no real support from her husband is most likely not a gold digger. As a matter of fact her age when he married her worked in his favor. He could feed her all the bull in the world and she would take it while he forgets that one day she will mature and see that this is not right. Anyway my hope is that she reads everyone opinion and decides how she will discuss it with him. If he is smart he will get a job washing dishes tomorrow if that is all that is available to him.

Please keep the man

1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

OP, what are you waiting for?

now i see reasons why a lot of people don't support their loved ones to marry a woman from a broken home(apologies to the 0.5% good ones).

people produce what they see/end up becoming what preoccupied mind while growing up.

a leopard can hardly shed its skin.

no matter how you wash/clean a pig, no matter the beauty of the house, a Pig's eye will
definitely be on the gutter.

From the comments here one will clearly point out the kind of home and upbringing people come from.

@ OP
a lot has been posted so far. you asked for advice n here they are.

my question: WHAT'S YOUR DECISION??

BTW: Celebrate with me, my eldest son gained admission to the University this September (He had three options to choose from as his college results was outstanding!).
It could not have been possible if his Mum had 'bailed-out" when the going was tough for me!
But that period is 'history' now.
One day  l will give a son out in marriage, a worthy son for that matter.
My prayer is that God of heaven will provide for him, his own wife, one that will stick with him, through thick and thin, afterall, life is not a bed of roses!

[quote][/quote]

@ lastpage

congratulations!!!

you are a product of your parent's hard-work

@outstrip
Please keep the man

1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel


that[b] thiefofhearts[/b] know nothing about being married coming in here insulting and talking RUBBISH , NONSENSE