I was at University today studying, this white boy came and sat next to me. He was flirting with me & asked my name. When he heard my name he asked where my family is from because my name was unique. I said Nigeria. He then asked me if I have ever seen a lion in Nigeria & do I understand the songs in the Lion King? If I could just slap some common sense into him omg. EVERYTIME I tell some American I am Nigerian they always ask me ignorant sh*t. & they honestly believe that the Lion King is relevant to ALL Africans when the language in the Lion King was Swahili. & after all that he asked for my number. Smh. I called him an oyinbo man & left. He asked me what that meant & I said it means a kind person -.-

OgaInnocent:


It because we don't know what we believe in.
U said aright. Yes, d most important thing is that we believe in Jesus. But we still hate, discriminate, disfavour and mock others simply because they are not believing in Jesus under our own church.

Don't you think if we come under one umbrella of catholicism (Just as we have one Islam) ,some things we be better. And we will begin to appreciate d other person.

what are you even talking about? Our umbrella is the bible. & to say Islam comes under one is a lie & disrespectful. They have Shia & Sunnis. & many have died due to their constant conflict. Every single religion has different groups under their religion even Judaism. Look it up. Christians & Catholics aren't the only one. Jewish people have Hasidic and non Hasidic Jews, there are also Jewish people who believe in Jesus. & they also fight all the time. Bhuddism also has different groups. All religions do. Read a book!

What does it matter whether you are catholic or Christian? I did not read that anywhere in the bible nor did I see Jesus mention it. It doesn't matter what you claim as long as you follow the word. God sees the intent and motives in our heart, so whether you decide to be Christian or catholic it doesn't matter. We are so focused on labels and holidays, but yet we barely do half the things the bible tells us to. Where ever you feel most comfortable worshipping, you should go.

wiseone28:
spoiled kids

spoiled? How?

BlaqCoffee109:
get a make over... a new you, go out more, mix with different and new people if you have to, don't jump into a new relationship... just do you, indulge, spoil yourself silly like you are a little princess.. when next you ever get to see him, you'd slap yourself for crying over him... he'd look and feel so not worth you...hope this helps

lol. I needed an excuse to get my nails done. So thanks this helps. Maybe I'll go to the spa instead of staying cooped up in this house.

AccidentalGenius:



You don't have to date another guy to forget this guy. Don't be weak. Learn to be independent.

I'm not dating another guy. I already said I have no interest in other guys. I never have. I don't want a new boyfriend. After your heart is broken, idk why other people would want to try it again? I'll wait till I graduate. Or until I'm 30.

KingCheezyPuff:
Then why.....
Why,did you bother comin' in here Igbo

Kbeaut!
Sugar he don't love you,you gotta go ....mentally. Stop thinkin' bout em.
He wasn't no good.
My suggestion if you can stand it try dating
With the new dudes you meet you what be thinkin' bout whatever his name is.

thank you, I will try. I think physically it's easy to let people go, but mentally is the hardest!

Royle2014:
What you feel is not new at all. I'm glad u finally had the courage to end this bondage in the guise of relationship that you were in.
How long you should hurt varies with how emotionally invested you were in this relationship nd for ur case, ur investment was pretty high (if u get dividends, u would be on Forbes magazine)... The first few weeks after a brkup are usually the toughest and u run d risk of relapsing but please dont. He may beg u, nd promise change but trust me, it takes alot of hardwook and dedication to change nd if you make up with him, u would notice same trends. What to do?
1 cry all u want to! Bury ur face in ur pillow and weep bitterly... Cry till u have no more emotions to draw tears from... The more u bottle up feelings inside u nd try to ignore what u feel for him, the longer your hrt would ache
2. Accept that both of u can not be together. He is not your soulmate. U guys were not meant to be... If it was, u would have worked out somehow... Dont hope to run into him in d future nd mayb start over again... Hope brings expectations... Expectations would hinder ur healing process.
3. Forgive him and forgive yourself.... Yes u feel stupid for falling in luv, and u are probably swearing never to love again. Forgive yourself, it is a blessing to experience love, it is a blessing to b able to sacrifice everything for the happiness of another person...not everyone in their lifetime would be capable of showing such love, so b happy u are capable of loving. U would love again... U would with time
4. Stay single for a while, dont jump into a rebound... U would end up hurting yourself.... Nd plz dont end up hating your ex, it would hinder ur moving on.... The opposite of love is not hate... It is INDIFFERENCE...

this was really beautiful & touched on almost everything I've been battling with these couple of days. Thank you.

AccidentalGenius:



I just hope u don't turn out to be like those girls who can't stay single for a year. Face your books and yes, what you're going through will hurt u really bad until you realise there a better things to worry about in life

I started university at 17. I'm graduating soon & going to medical & law school as a double major. So I won't have the time to get a new boyfriend at all. & I actually don't want a boyfriend. If it wasn't for him I would never date. I don't find interest in any other guys at all.

I don't get how some of you people claim to be Christians but yet have not one Christian bone in your body. This might not be your problem but for me I hold it inside everyday so it felt good to vent, but yet I am met with such negativity. Is it because none of you have never made mistakes? I didn't realize in the bible it was written to step on your fellow brothers and sisters at their weakest points. Or to add into negativity because you find someone's pain funny or you're bored. Let me go read my bible again. I guess I missed some parts. But I do remember where it said that you shouldn't judge others, for one day you will be judged on that same scale you judged another... K.

Amoto94:
What you need right now is preoccupying yourself with beneficial books to keep you on the right track, discuss this issue with your mum/sis. And stay away from him

I get what you're saying. I guess I'm scared to bring up the topic to my mom especially knowing she will say I told you so. Although thank god for one thing all this doesn't interfere with my school. I have learned to cry & study at the same time. I'm very famous at my school library lol.

This is so accurate

I don't know if I'm stupid or just young. My heart hurts imagining anyone in my family would ever read this. The slap I would receive, instead of facing my books I am here crying over a boy. Sigh, anyways. My boyfriend & I are the same age, 20. We were both born and live in America. I'm Nigerian & his background is bajan, French, and Congolese. My mom warned me to stay away from these Congolese men but I did not listen. Now I dey suffer, ugh. He yells at me, he takes photos with other girls, I suspect he is cheating with one fat girl. I don't understand? He gets angry when men compliment me, he doesn't want me going anywhere, and he constantly goes through my phone. I am the prettiest girl he has ever dated, his family says so, his friends say so. Not only that he is my first boyfriend, I go to university and get As, I cook, I clean, I do everything but yet he is cheating, lying, and constantly yelling at me. For what? I broke up with him the other day but all I can do is cry. Even though I am mistreated so much I want him back. So this is why I need help. How do you get over someone? How long will it take? Because from what I feel right now, I feel like I will never recover.

Almost every Nigerian/African I meet asks me for my whatsapp & when I tell them no, the give me this look. What is the big deal about whatsapp?

Comfort her. Let her know that her illness doesn't define or change who she is. Not only that but it's 2016 & with the advances in medicine she can live a long normal life, so she shouldn't worry. & also you can take prep so you can still have sex but will NOT be affected. So there is nothing to worry about as long as you both are responsible. & most importantly let her know that your love for her will not change and you will get through this together. The most important part is for her to understand that having HIV doesn't make her any less than anyone else. We are all human, we all bleed the same. Even with HIV her blood is still the same color as yours, no?

The heart because for you to live it has to continuously beat to pump blood through your body. In fact if it were to stop or skip a beat, you would have a heart attack and potentially die. The heart also continues to beat even when you are dead. (Future Surgeon) lol

I think this is true everywhere you go. People always think things are greener on the other side of the fence. I live in America and Americans do not wear or use anything that's made in America. Most of our high fashion or best clothing is from overseas. & a lot of our celebrities who we look up to are not even American born. Just last year one of the biggest name in fashion, Louis Vuitton, was using Ghana must go bags on the runways here. & they charged a lot of money for it. & now in fashion African prints & styles are so trendy here.

The best way to grow your hair thicker is by using black castor oil. Even if you are a man, you can use it. It is very thick so it's not something you need to put on daily but it works really well. Also make sure to drink plenty of water & vitamins that encourage beautiful hair & nails. Such as the vitamin "msm". Also don't forget your vitamin C!

Oliviaarims:


Of course being dark-skinned is as well beautiful. But if u so favour it,why not quit ur fancy cream and soap and substitute it with Shea butter and any of those cheap local black soaps.
But I bet u won't do that. U love ur skin this way and would rather remain light skinned than dark.

Black is beautiful, but most ppl feel fair is more beautiful.

All I ever use is black soap & Shea butter, although sometimes I mix in coconut oil. In fact black soap & Shea is so popular in the U.S. now that it is so expensive. It's trendy. It's the best skin care product in my opinion. I've used it since I was a child & never had acne or skin problems. & I personally would not mind being dark. In the summer I stay in the sun & I tan a few shades easily & I enjoy it. But since I live in the states & in the east coast the cold weather doesn't allow me to tan.

All the women shown above are so beautiful. Melanin popping & flawless.

kilokeys:


You aren't so dark urself..

Maybe some prefer chocolate to black coffee.

I am not dark skin myself but my sister is. & it makes me upset when people favor me over her because of my skintone or certain features. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a preference but it's just like I want to see diversity. Nowadays I only ever see light skin women or a light brown in the media, magazines, everywhere. There's absolutely nothing wrong with not being dark skin but it's wrong to me when women bleach their skin because it's like them saying dark skin is ugly. & I don't like the pressure men put on women. Nowadays to get a good husband you have to be light. & even when I went to Nigeria someone told someone in my family who was dark skin that all the bleach in America, you no go see em? It was so sad.

otipoju:
..

I have a friend in New York. He is a very social person... his sister and myself live in Dallas. Redeem Christian Church of God is a good starting point to meet Nigerians thats how i met Nigerians when i was in Columbus.

I see. I actually just googled the Church. Maybe I will check it out, one Sunday in April. Thank you!

otipoju:
there are vibrant Nigerian communities in USA...African Markets, Churches and Clubs are a good place to socialise and get invites to weddings,baby showers, naming ceremonies, wake keeping's and dinners. what state are you in.

I live in New York. I don't have any family here besides my immediate family; as in parents & siblings so no real baby showers or events or anything. Plus in my neighborhood, I'm the only African/Black person lol. & unfortunately I do not have African friends. But maybe I will look into a church. I believe the one closest to me that's African is 7 day Adventist, which I am definitely NOT lol.

what's this new obsession with light skin? all the threads I've seen with beautiful women rarely have one woman who is dark skin, why? Is dark skin not beautiful too?

Slapsticker:
welcome on board girl, you gonna have a great time here.

Nigeria has diverse ethic groups with unique cultural heritages. so where do u belong?
I think that's a good place to start.

Hopefully I get this right, the spelling & all. My mom is kalabari & my dad is from onicha. But when I travel there, which is every other summer, I mostly spend my whole time in Lagos.

I came across this site by accident but quickly became interested after reading a few topics. Although I consider myself to be Nigerian 100%, I was born & have lived in America my whole 20 years of living. I have visited Nigeria a few times but it was hard for me to adapt, not knowing how to speak the language. I felt somewhat ashamed & too scared to ask how. But as I grow older I realize I want to know more of my culture, so that when I have children I can teach them about their rich heritage. I just don't know where to begin or if it's too late at this age