₦airaland Forum

nAirAlAnd,rEpEatEd,mIllIonaIre,bIllIonaIre,[color=#000000]trIllIonaIre[/color]

35%

nice concept, no dull moment wit naija

AV ONLY SEEN TEAM MELVIN, NO ONE GREE WEAR TEAM BEVERLY, NOW I KNOW IT PAYS TO BE GOOD.

MAY HIS GENTLE SOUL REST IN PEACE AMEN.

am still dancing azonto @30

hmmmmmm

Incase we wake up tomorrow and Jonathan says we are Chinese,u can call me Wan dong woo

Why do we like saying some words twice?
E.g. Mago mago, copy copy, begi begi, follow follow, yama yama, chin chin, kuli kuli, waka waka, moi moi, jedi jedi, sharp sharp, yori yori, gbomo gbomo, mu mu, borrow borrow, lie lie, fear fear, talk talk, jigi jigi, holy holy, jaga jaga, scatter scatter...

add urs..

A girl afta an unsatisfyn luv makin askd d guy 'y didnt u tel me u av a tiny guiter? To which d guy replied I didnt knw I wuld b performing in a hall.

Goodmornin friendz Thank God its friday!
Supposing you are given the
opportunity to turn me into
anything. What will u turn me
to ........Reply with an alphabet.
NOTE: Don't stop the fun,

A. Chicken
B. Goat
C. Gift for new year
D. Millionaire
E. My husband
F. My wife
G. My real pal
H. Best Friend 4ever
I. Buddy 4ever
J. Chocolate pack
K. Sex partner
L. Boyfriend/Girlfriend
M. Vibrator
N. Dumb
O. Idiot
P. Billionaire
Q. Thief
R. Mr. Ibu
S. FueL
T. Ass
U. Ashes
V. Toilet
W. Condom
X. Dog
Y. Sugar and
Z. vegetable

Customer : My wife
needs a bra but, I don't
know the size.
Sales girl : Touch my
... breas*t and try to
calculate.
Customer : Oh ! I forgot
she needs panties too..

A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance.
Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..."
"Fred," she answered. I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?"
"Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do, all day long, are eat, havin sex and sleep, eat, havin sex and sleep, over and over."
"Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried.
"Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a rabbit in australia."

A girl ones asked her father, Daddy why do we always brush our teeth? Daddy answered 4 strong n healthy teeth. Daddy why why do we take our bath? 2 keep our bodies clean. Daddy, why do we go to school? To grow up to be responsible and independent. This tym around de child went an extra mile. DADDY, WHY DO U ALWAYS SLEEP WITH MUMMY?

bunmioguns: welcome back bro

thanks man

kellynoah is back

A married woman and her lover were in a Hotel to commit adultery, just as they paid their drinks and peppersoup bills and were about getting a room, she sees her husband coming out with a young lady from another room, so thinking outside the box, she yells out: "You son of a bitch, I don catch you today, I knew my informant was true!!!! That is why I came with a witness!

ok

A man, having only N500 went to a 5 star hotel and ordered for the
most expensive meal with the best wine they had,
After eating a bill of N18,000.
He told them he had no money on him, the hotel Manager handed him
over to police. On getting to the police station He gave the N500 to
them and was released immediately,

THIS IS CALLED FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT! TRY IT OUT AND SEE THE RESULT . .

A man was chatting with his friend on BB. He suddenly discovered that the man sitting beside him in the taxi was reading their conversation. Since he did not want to embarrass the intruder, he
decided to change the topic of the chat and he wrote, "abeg oga,
please tell Kabiru Sokoto or Abu Qaqa that I only took two of the
bombs we just manufactured for this operation. Let them know as well that I may find it difficult to get to the target place before the bombs explode becos there is terrible traffic jam now but nevertheless, I am sure casualty figure will be high since we are five in our taxi and all the vehicles in the traffic will be affected too. We ve less than 3mins for the bomb to go off, bye and take care of my children as agreed." The intruder quickly opened the taxi door and jumped.

A guy scrolled thru his girl's phone& saw funny names, saved in d
contact list,  Such as Emeka Stingy, Michael Blacky, Joshua Long
teeth, Friday big ear, & he was just hving fun, laughing @ all d
names he saw; So decided 2check out what his own number had
been saved as, & wen he dialled her line, what he saw was DANIEL
MOUTH ODOUR,  D face of laughter became a face of anger!!!

hmmmmmmmmm me enyimba?

In a sunday school class one
sunday morning,after a very
interesting topic,the teacher
asked,"any question?"a little warri
boy,Akpos raised up his hand
looking very confused,
Aunty: what is your question
Akpos?
Boy: Aunty,you said the children
of Israel escaped from egypt?
Aunty: yes
Boy:the children of Israel also
crossed the red sea
Aunty:good,
Boy: the children of Israel also
sinned against God
Aunty: yea
Boy: the children of Israel pull
down the
mighty wall of jericho?
Aunty: what exactly is your
question Akpos!!!
Boy: aunty, when the children of
Israel were doing all these, where
were the
adults?

***husband 'n' wife***
Husband: When I hear you sing, I
think to myself
"You should be on the Radio with
that voice."
Wife: Oh really? Am I that good?
Husband: No, If you were on the
radio I could at least change the
station.

to all my friends-agybabe,bin gbagbo,otooro,ode remo ,booqee,and j.pilata thanks for ur comment.
pls where dis my guy dey mikuz?

otooro:
kellynoah, whr ve u been! nice joke

have been around, thanks man.

A married man died before having sex with his wife. The wife then cuts his dick and fixed it on the wall. Each night she went to the wall to satisfy herself. One day her neighbor found out! Then he made a hole in d wall, removed d man's dick and put his dick instead waitin for the lady. The lady came with a knife, cuts the dick and said darling we are moving to a new house! happy val

Orga*sm FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF WOMEN,

The Optimist : "Ahh, Oh yes! oh yes,  Aaahh,
The Pessimist : "Ahh, Oh no! Oh no !, Ohno, Aahhh, !
The Confused : "ahh ,  Oh yes! Oh no,  Oh yes! Oh no, Aahhh,
The Traveler : " Ahh, I'm coming! i'm coming, ! Aahh , !
The Religious : " Ahh, Oh God ! Oh God, ! Aaahhhh.
The Needy : " Ahhh, , More ! More ! More, ! Aaahh, !
The Beggar : " Aahh, please ! Please ! Please ! Aahh, !
The Submarine : " Ahhh ,  Ohhh , D(, )"
The Murderer : " Aaahh, I'm going to come, Aaahhh, If you come before me, I'll kill you, Aaaahhh.!!

Where do you belong?

Three tortoise,mike,andy and Roy decide to go on a picnic. So mike packs a picnic bucket with beers and sandwiches. The trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away so it took them ten days to get there. When they got there mike unpacks the food and says 'ok roy, give me the bottle opener'. 'I didn't bring it' says roy! Mike turns to andy and says 'did u bring the bottle opener?', andy didn't bring it either. So they are stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener. Mike and Andy begged Roy to go back since he's the fastest,but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After 2hrs,and after they have sworn not to eat the sandwiches,he finally agrees. So roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and mike and andy are starving. But a promise is a promise. Another 5 days and he still isn't back,but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer. So they take a sandwich each,and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops from behind a rock and shouts ' I KNEW IT, I'M NOT GOIN AGAIN!! If u are Mike and Andy, Wat will u do?

Three Americans and three Nigerians are traveling by a US train to a conference. The three Americans each bought tickets and watched as the three Nigerians bought only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an American. "Watch the ride my yute !" answers a Nigerian. They all boarded the train. The Americans took their respective seats but all three Nigerians cramped into a restroom and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to collect tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the Americans decided to copy the Nigerians on the return trip and save some money. When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Nigerians did not buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed American. "Watch the ride my yute!! " says a Nigerian. When they boarded the train the three Americans cramped into a restroom and the three Nigerians cramped into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Nigerians leaves their restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Americans were hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please".

A secretary got an expensive PEN as birthday gift from her boss.
She sent her boss a 'Thank You' via SMS. The wife read the text and angrily shows her husband the message:

"Your p*enis wonderful, I enjoyed using it last night. Thanks"

Now tell me how the husband go convince his wife say na pen he gave secretary, wen secretary don already use spacing error put D man for trouble.