₦airaland Forum

Only Nigerians can have full conversations with just QUESTIONS.

Dele: My guy, How far?
Emeka: Wetin dey happen?
Dele: Why you jus dey call me now?
Emeka: You buy me credit?
Dele: Dis wan wey you call so, you wan show?
Emeka: Where u dey?
Dele: You sabi Plus place?
Emeka: Make we block there?
Dele: Before nko? Abi u wan make we block for anoda place?
Emeka: You get pay?
Dele: Wetin you wan take money do?
Emeka: We no suppose to drink?
Dele: Na me born you?
Emeka: No be u be my chairman?
Dele: Abi craze don log on to u? Na my pay u go dey use maintain?
Emeka: Before nko?
Dele: U serious abi you dey play?
Emeka: Bros, wetin u tink?
Dele: So, u no really hold change eh? And u wan drink? U no dey shame?
Emeka: Bros, which ones na? Na change for beer come dey cause dis kind yarn?
Dele: Before nko?

mikuz:
@kelly
who gave you the patent to copy my joke?

pls. am sorry, its not intentional.

bright007:
Where is d joke?

every time "WHERE IS D JOKE"  cant u write things like: not funny or cant figure out de joke due to my dull brain, pls. kindly change from WHERE IS D JOKE syndrome its not funny any more

ndukwejoe:
Fine one ,but is a repetition

ok sir, NOTED

Country1:
NO, THIS IS FOR REAL, pasted incorrectly. do you know anyone that might be interested?

WOW what a nice respond from a joker.

Country1:
EX-OFFICE BLOCK FOR SALE IN ORILE IGANMU LAGOS

PROPERTY DETAILS:
FRONTAGE DIMENSION: 37.5M
DEPTH: 26M
COVERING: 975 SQ.M

ACCOMODATION DETAILS:
The structure is demarcated by wall blocks into offices
GROSS AREA PER FLOOR IS 330SQM
GROUND FLOOR HAS 368SQ.M OFFICE ANNEX

FIXTURES & FITTINGS:
ALUMINIUM WINDOWS WITH BURGLARY PROOF
BLOCK FENCED, WELL PAVED COMPOUND, WITH FRONT AND SIDE GATED ENTRANCE & LOTS MORE

PRICE: 40MILLION NAIRA OR NEAREST OFFER [PLEASE NO TIME WASTERS]

PRIVATE SALE: PLEASE CONTACT LILIAN OR TONY ON:

08034383360 OR EMAIL: countrywideconsult@yahoo.co.uk

WOW NICE JOKE.

Two mentally insane patients plot to run away from
a mental facility at night. The facility is well
guarded and the only way
to escape is to beat up the two guards at the gate.
When the night of escape comes, the two patients
walk to the gate armed with hockey sticks. On
arriving the gate, they find the gate open but the
guards are not around. They look for the guards in
a nearby shed and when the guards Wεяε not
found. They postponed the escape.

DONkollione:
@op, Bros u try abeg no mind bright007 hes just a bush pig

nyc joke bro

nice having u here

ndukwejoe:
You try . No mind sadist when plenty for nairaland.

thanks man

bright007:
Is dis � joke or � report?

A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news:

"I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for su, re, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from ZESCO rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last electricity bill:

"Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"

"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.

"Well, ma'am, ! it's in our files!" says the man from the electricity supply company.

"What are you saying? It's in your files??"

"Absolutely."

"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight." That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the ZESCO offices the first thing the next morning. "What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."

"PAY you? and if I refuse?"

"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut it off."

"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks."!

I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT!!!

nice joke

controversy,connection,conception,confirm,conspire

control, condone, connect

condition

hi friends lets play dis game together, lets write de words dat start with "CON" lets go,

HOW T0 MAKE 25MILLION NAIRA
IN LESS THAN 1 MONTH

1: swallow salt, granule sugar or
any white substance
2: pretend ur travelling to new
york, uk or paris
3: @ the airport, allow NDLEA
officials scan u with their fake
and lie lie scanner(thinking its
cocain, u will b arrested. Don't
panic)
4: @ their office, u will excrete
ur a** out for the 3next weeks
(dat's the hardest part. Just try
and endure but mek sure u dont
bring out ur intestine.
5; @ this point, they'll start
begging u(no agree oh)
6; hire festus keyamo or femi
falana and sue NDLEA for
100million for false allegations
and forceful excretion which as
a result, u can't sit down
7; @ this point, they'll start to
price, u now agree 30million.
2million for ur lawyer, 2million
for me, 1 million for the court
and 25 million for U
º°°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º=))
IT WORKED FOR BABA SUWE, IT
CAN WORK FOR
U, GOODLUCK!!

bin gbagbo:
stop posting dry bullshittz old colonial jokes!



dis is your last warning!!!!!

OK thanks sir, I will act accordingly

A Man lived alone in the countryside with only a pet dog for company.

One day, the dog died, and the Man went to the parish pastor and said, "Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a mass for the poor creature?"

The Pastor replied, "I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there is a new church down the road, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the animal; you can go and find out".



Then the Man answered innocently, "I'll go right away Pastor. But do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the burial service?"



The Pastor exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't you tell me the dog was a Christian, we definitely have services 4 all christians

Ajibel:
i lived in ibo land all mi life

who cares?

Ajibel:
is this a joke or an opportunity to hail the backwardness of the igbo tribe

if dats hw u understand it, so be it.

Ajibel:
i appreciate good jokes, hope u wont disappoint

am at ur service, ur happiness is my watch-word

Ajibel:
yes, when kingdom comes

IF ONLY DAT WILL MAKE U HAPPY

Agybabe:
Copy and paste! Thank γ̥☺υ̲̣̥r̶̲̥̅̊ stars Ajibel is not here!

TO COPY AND PASTE IS MY AREA OF CALLING, SO AM DOING MY JOB THANK YOU

Ajibel:
only truck minded people can post this kinda unfunny jokes




next!

NICE READING 4RM U

Ajibel:
why must yo jokes be vulgar- condom huh

HOPE TO IMPROVE

An Ibo man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Nigeria on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank
will need some form of security for the loan,
so the Ibo man hands over the keys and documents of new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.

The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers
all enjoy a good laugh at the Ibo for using a $250,000 Ferrari
as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Ibo man returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away,
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

The Ibo man replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return!!"

I g b o K w e n u!!!!

A friend bought egg and discovered there is nothing inside, he went to where he bought them n broke all the eggs and all was found empty. Then they went to the poultry to complain, some chickens came out and started laughing and said “See all this mumu, them no know sey we self don dey use condom

A friend bought egg and discovered there is nothing inside, he went to where he bought them n broke all the eggs and all was found empty. Then they went to the poultry to complain, some chickens came out and started laughing and said “See all this mumu, them no know sey we self don dey use condom.

booqee:
Joke rating- 0%
this is dry. It cudn't even make me laff a lil.

i promise to do better next time.

A truck driver was driving down d hill, & a couple was having sex in d middle of a quiet,sparsely used n deserted road. He sounded his horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought d truck to a halt inches from them. D driver got out & stormed: "what d hell's d matter with u? Didn't u hear me? U could have been killed!" D man replied nonchalantly: "Listen, I was coming, she was coming & u were coming. U are d only 1 with brakes!!!