₦airaland Forum

ItsAnderson:
Good evening my lovely pals, pls I need your candid
advice, me & my finance are presently courting, also
getting ready to be together and I notice dis attitude of
staring at a man's biceps or chest whenever we are together. The
one that got me annoyed most was on Friday when
am together with her and her friend watching a movie,
suddenly they showed Iyanya Mr Oreo video and she quickly shouted “ah dis is big chest and sexy six packs o" I felt ashamed cuz I have flat chest
and not quite long I left d parlour to the room
thinking. Pls pals wht will be ur advice to me on dis
issue because am afraid of going into dis marriage wit
her cos of dis attitude. Thanks.

ROTFL.....
Broda pls don't ever give her d impression dat u feel less abt urself, if u don't appreciate urself nobody will. It's obvious u have low self worth, if not, u wouldn't have created this thread in d first place. Were u like iyayan when she fell for u? If u hit d gym today & tomorrow she slobber over someone with flat chest, wht will u do then?

If she shud ask u why u decide to hit d gym, wht will be ur response, because of her? & u tink she will feel good? If u want to hit d gym, it should be frm ur hrt, not because of ur girl. If she doesn't appreciate u d way u are, someone else will. Don't ever allow a woman to tie u to her apron on account of love.

This love thing is really making our men to act silly, date someone u like, not someone u love, so u'll be able to use ur head.

The day a man fall in love, he automatically bcoms a fool. *sigh*

#boys say no to LOVE, it's a manipulative tool for women, say yes to LIKE.

Nice one bro.
Buh it's not only sex o! Wht abt love? Dat emotion can make a man to act silly.
Solomon association with women had no emotional attachment, it was more of sex.

Buh samson fell in love with delilah on the mountain, samson folly was as a result of love.
Samson had sex with diff. Women b4 he met delilah, but there was no emotional attachment.

Women use love & sex to manipulate men.

Ojochegbe1:
I love this lady and i'm about toasting her for a serious relationship, i try to find out from one of my guy who recently married from that side about how d traditional things look like, he said i should prepare for like 400 - 500k.
February 13th will make it one yr i finished my service(NYSC), by April 1st i got a job tho d pay is not that much just 50k cos i don't want to stay @ home, though i'm still hoping for another job cha, what should i do now.

U completed ur NYSC feb. last year, 13A I supposed. It means u're still young, u were even fortunate to get a job not too long after d completion of ur service, don't u think is too early to consider marriage. I'll advise u to use this period to develop urself, go for ur masters, afterwards, u can start considering marriage. How old are u?

U guys should stop lambasting d man. No be just rape sef. Moreover, he raped his own daughter, not someone else child.

Treat a woman like a queen, & watch her take u for granted.

I don't see any reason why a woman should be glorified, they are humans & should be treated as such.while will a man treat a woman like a queen, when she doesn't reciprocate.

When a man fall in love, he automatically bcoms a fool... Is she ur first luv? U're obviously blinded by love.

Forget abt her & move on.

AdaNri1:
Every time I visit nairaland there is always a thread denigrating Nigerian girls/ladies. If it's not about how broke they are, it's about how much they love money or something else that's condescending and negative. Some people cannot talk about women from other countries without comparing them to Nigerian women and shedding our ladies in a bad light.
My question to these men/boys saying all these is this; don't you have mothers, sisters, aunts and female cousins? Are they not Nigerians? Why do you insult the womenfolk? It's not gentlemanly and shows Ill upbringing. please endeavour to stop such behaviour, it is becoming alarming on nairaland.
Let's learn to critise positively. There's a saying that goes "if you don't have anything good to say don't say anything"
I would love for my little girls to grow up and choose to marry Nigerian men! But I'm also hoping they're not ill mannered men who have no respect for ladies, because my darlings are as delicate as roses

Op I don't get this?

What is debasing abt writing or saying Nigeria girls are broke, or how much they love money or pointing out some of their negative trait? Are they not broke? Don't they love money? because we have sisters, gf,aunts... We shouldn't say d truth. Only d truth shall set us free,if u don't knw.

We knw our girls are broke & lovers of money,they are slippery. It's a well knw fact that larger percentage of ladies hinge on guys for financial support. It has been like that, so wht are u saying?

khia:
The wife is his immediate family, nobody comes before her.
The bible says cleve to your wife and let no one put assunder.
She comes before mother, father, sister, brothers, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews and cousins.

Your quote is indefensible.

This is quite specious, I think u didn't phrase it properly, let no man put asunder, that I knw. But the wife comes before the hubby's mum while she is still alive is wht I don't get. Do u knw the meaning of that word 'mother' @all? No love on earth equals that which your mum have for u.

Often times I see stories of women deserting or mistreating their hubby because of petty problems, & these men run to their mum for solace. No mother will desert her own son for any problem in the world, if job mother was still alive in the bible, she wouldn't have deserted job.

I don't knw abt fathers, because some men can be very callous, but no good wife on this planet earth can supplant the position of a good mother.

Adaeze003:
Uhm... ehm...

No man will turn against his immediate family for "a woman". First off Mr, is she just "a woman" to him?

I saw you quoting head of the house and submission so i'm guessing you're a Christian? Now, guys often rush of to scream submit but forget the part where Jesus said, for this reason, a man shall leave his Family(what you call immediate family) and be one(yes, one!!!) with his wife!!! Oga, did someone tear out this part of your bible

Again, a wife's opinion doesn't count? Like, what millennium are you from Then What the hell is she doing in that house? Marriage has suddenly become slavery? I pity your wife to be sha.

Now, to your question, why the hell will I go to live with my brother and his wife and create problems? If I get to stay with my bro, I will know my damn place! His wife comes before me!

Nothing in this post suggests that the man or woman is to blame but you niggaz will always blame the woman no matter what.

Imagine a grown azz man keeping malice with the mother of his kids and ya'll are here talking rubbish. Mtcheew.

ROTFL.... Wey! U used d word 'niggaz'.

Tony braxton is a niga,so wht do u knw abt it. lol.

We are not spewing kappish. U hear! Are u a lawyer? Or probably an advocate of gender equality, which is a sure blind alley. Though ur points are well articulated, am afraid dey are biased in favour of women. When a woman get married is customary she forgets her root, because d society accept it.

But a man can never forget his root 'inclusive are his siblings,parents.., When a woman bcomes a rev. Sister, she practically spend d rest of her life in the convent, but even as an ordained priest, a man still shoulders d responsibility of his immediate family. Am not trying to debase women in any sense, it's just that women have failed to appreciate & accept their position.

u say u won't visit ur elder bro, I'll tell him for future reference. but u indeed sound like a control freak, & frm wht I can deduce frm ur quote, u won't even allow ur hubby's mum or dad to live in ur home. I fear u o!

Learn to respect ur man, submit urself, believing me u'll be d final beneficiary.
Are u married?

Adaeze003:
You sound like you know her from somewhere

Or you blindly assumed she is the problem?

One thing with guys is, the woman is always at fault... What ever the case is, she's always the problem. like WTH

Op, what are his sisters doing in your home? Anyway the mistake has been made. I don't even know what to tell you sef. Maybe the cliché "pray and hope??".

Hope you have something to keep yourself busy sha? B4 you lose your mind.

I honestly don't get this.

Is it wrong for her hubby siblings or her siblings to live with them? When u love someone I believe that love should extend to ur partner's siblings & even frnds. How can a woman claim to love a man, yet be poles apart with his siblings, likewise the man.

U're implicitly saying u won't accommodate ur hubby siblings? It's saddening women are inclined to perceive things frm their own perspective, forgetting that a man is the head, the opinion of the wife doesn't really count, the man has the final say.

Adaeze how will u feel, if u go on a visit to ur elder bro place & he refuse to allow u in, literally because of his wife? Like I always tell ladies, the way to a man's hrt & family is not through his stomach, but submissiveness. A woman can subjugate the most hard hearted dude, by being submissive.

@op make peace with his siblings & everything will be alright. No reasonable man will turn against his immediate family for a woman.u can confirm frm those that tried it in the past, they didn't end up well...

quinnboy:
[i][/i]I think I'm dying in silence. My gal and I had issues and from all indications now I don't see us coming back. We ve been dating for just 8 months but the intimacy was such that we both couldn't spend a couple of days without being with each other. We live together and do almost everything together. I'm so use to her, I've done all I could to let her know that I'm sorry but all to no avail. I think she is moving on leaving me down and heart broken. She's dating one dude now all to forget me in time but I seems to love her so much that I can't move on. Pls this thing is killing me. I want to know how long will I suffer this pain so I can start counting down. I miss her bt I guess I need to move on.

Is she ur first love?

Our politicians are indeed bunch of disappointment. They have already started exhibiting their disinclination to ensure good governance. What we need right now is for them to present a well articulated manifesto, that will address the present irredeemable condition of the nigeria state. Not flaunting pictures of presidential candidates.

Perhaps they don't know that most nigerians living in rural areas don't even have access to internet. smh....

LilNetty:
Sometimes we need encouragement in our quest to step
up and be the men God has called us to be. Sometimes
we need information, and sometimes we need training.
Sometimes we need a mentor—someone who will show
us how to be godly men, how to love our wives as
Christ loves the church.
And sometimes we need to know what we should stop
doing. Sometimes we may even need someone to say,
“Hey, stop acting like a jerk!”
That’s what this list is about.
One of the most popular articles on our website is “15
Things Wives Should Stop Doing.” When we first posted
it, several readers asked for a similar list for husbands,
so we gathered suggestions from a number of men.
Here's a list of their best ideas. Of course, not all of
these items apply to all men. But perhaps something
here will hit home for you.
Two things to remember: First, these items were sent
to me by other men, not by wives. Second, some
readers have expressed concern that this list for
husbands has 40 items while the corresponding article
for women has 15. I'm not sending a message here—
I'm not saying husbands need more help than wives.
It's just ... a different list!
1. Stop acting like the battle is won in pursuing and
getting to know your wife. Have fun together, just like
you used to do before you walked down the aisle.
2. If your wife is a stay-at-home mom, stop treating
her like her work during the day is somehow less
strenuous or less important than yours.
3. Stop coming home from work and plopping in front of
the television for the night, leaving your wife to bear the
responsibility for everything else going on in the home.
4. Stop working so much. Find a healthy balance
between work and family. Your wife would rather have
you than a big house, nice car, etc.
5. Stop acting like you’re listening when you’re really
watching TV.
6. Stop allowing the spiritual leadership of the family to
default to your wife.
7. Stop being passive when it comes to disciplining and
training your kids.
8. Stop saying you know and understand what your wife
is saying or feeling when you haven’t even listened to
what she has to say.
9. Stop being a closed book. Open up to your wife.
Don’t be afraid to show emotion.
10. Stop allowing your role as leader in the home to be
an excuse for selfish behavior. Don’t forget that a true
leader also serves.
11. Stop dishonoring your wife by criticizing her in front
of your children or in public.
12. When you wife irritates you, don’t answer right
away. Instead count to 10 and remember that she is a
gift from God.
13. Stop using your size and strength and anger to
intimidate your wife and children.
14. Stop using the word “divorce” in your vocabulary.
15. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations with
your wife.
16. Stop saying you’ll do something and then
procrastinating.
17. Don’t purchase any major item without first
discussing it with your wife.
18. Don't allow your eyes to linger on beautiful women
who pass by. You can't help the first look; it's that
second, longer look that you need to avoid. (And if your
wife is with you, don’t lie to her and say you didn’t see
that woman. Just admit you looked.)
19. Stop thinking, I know more than my wife . You and
your wife will each have more knowledge than the other
in certain areas.
20. Don’t assume you know what your wife is thinking.
Ask her how she is feeling and why.
21. When your wife tells you about a problem she’s
having, don’t immediately try to solve it. She may just
need you to listen to her.
22. Stop the sarcasm. You may be trying to sound
funny, but you’re only cutting down your wife.
23. Stop treating your wife like a child. Remember that
God has given her a wealth of experience and
information that you need.
24. Stop acting like God and trying to control your wife.
25. Stop pointing out her mistakes and asking for
explanations. Doing these things can make her feel like
a failure.
26. Never casually or disrespectfully talk to other guys
about sex with your wife.
27. Stop telling your wife that she is supposed to
“submit” to you. If she is not following you, that means
you’re not leading her as Christ loves the church.
28. Stop feeding your sexual desires from any source
other than your wife.
29. Don’t be alone with any woman who is not your
wife or related to you.
Stop discussing deep-level issues with a woman
who is not your wife or related to you.
31. Stop deceiving your wife about your finances.
32. Don’t look up old girlfriends on Facebook.
33. Stop putting a number on how often you should
enjoy sexual intimacy.
34. Stop acting as if you have a GPS programmed into
your brain. Before you go somewhere with your wife,
get the right address and find out how to get there. If
you are lost, don’t hesitate to get directions—from your
smartphone map, even from a person.
35. Don’t make fun of your wife to other guys.
36. Don’t allow guy-only activities (like playing golf,
basketball, etc.) to rob you of leisure time with your
wife and kids.
37. Stop expecting your wife to do all the housework.
38. Stop saying, “Honey … can you get the kids to be
quiet?” when the kids are being monsters. Get up and
go quiet them down yourself!
39. Stop putting all your stuff in the laundry basket and
then acting as if you “did the laundry.”
40. Stop acting like picking up a gallon of milk is equal
to the martyrdom of St. Stephen.
Some will say that lists like these are “too negative”—
that this is an example of “trashing” men. Here’s how I
see it: If you are coaching your son’s Little League
team, you’re going to teach him a lot of positives—how
to hit, how to throw, what base he should throw to
when there are runners on first and second. But you
also will need to get him to stop doing things—like
swinging at bad pitches, or jogging to first base instead
of sprinting.
Sometimes we need to know what not to do.
Is there anything you’d like to add to the list? Use the
comments section below.

I won't get married.

I promise to remain single for the rest of my life, so help me God.

martyns303:
Frankly He's just being lazy.

How was he surviving before he got married? After marriage he relinquished basic responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning etc solely to his wife

These are the reasons why a couple should do chores together. Cos she can be sick, pregnant, had a baby etc.
I hope he appreciates her more after coming to the realization.

Guys your wife/fiancee/GF is not a machine or a paid maid, if you can't do all those chores. How do you expect her to do them all alone and she's the weaker sex?

Here's a few tip on how i share chores.

1. Follow her to the market, am terrible at pricing things so I don't even bother, but I carry the bags, by watching, I now know how much a particular item should cost on average. I can now help ones a while with market, tho she always say they cheated me.

2. Am with her in the kitchen, I help dice okra, clean fresh fish, blend tomatoes etc. Now am a pro in cooking.

3. We clean together, Saturday being a major cleaning day.

4. I wash my own jean, and help with hers, while she washes all our clothes that require hand wash, she is very meticulous. Boxers, bedspread, towels etc goes to the washing machine.

Like my mom will tell us her male children, "men don't NEED respect, it is women who need it, between a man and a woman, the man will always be respected, he doesn't need what he already has"

Wtf is this?

Are u a man or woman?
You must be very close to your mum while growing up, probably that was how she instil that female mentality in u. Gosh, u reason like a woman.

What!!!!!! holding bag for your wife in the market while she is buying stuffs, damn!!! I won't even allow my younger bro do it.

Honestly, a man becomes a maid if he ends up doing all of d above.
It's lugubrious the world is increasingly producing more feminine men.

@op I don't see any reason why a normal man won't be able to stay without his wife for a minimum period of 1 year.

Your ex frnd isn't a man.

Op there is something u're obviously not telling us, your post is really ladylike. Where did u meet her? & where are u now? Are both of u in the same neighbourhood? Honestly, i will say u like the attention she gives to u.


I don't like it when a man goes behind a lady to claim disturbance from her. Are u not a man? Confront her & tell her your mind, put it bluntly, believing me, the stalking won't last long. Or is there sth u're afraid of & u don't want it to boomerang, wht is stoping u frm making an outright statement on your stance, or u're weak, because I can even deduce from your post that u're even not certain on whether to get her pregnant or not, u're still considering it, & u claim she is disturbing u.


Am sure is because of this your attitude things degenerated to this extent. I know love can be crazy @ times, but everyone has its limit, there are certain things u'll tell her, believing me she will go & never come back, don't act like girls, who will tell her frnds a guy is disturbing her, meanwhile, she invited the guy on whatsapp, calls the guy when he cease to call her.


U didn't quote any comment suggesting u to give the complete story, start your honesty here by writing the complete story. U won't get honest counsel by opening a biased thread.

Op I somewhat agree with u though, is not that women don't actually like caring men, even the so called bad guys are caring, but like they say, too much of everything is bad, it shouldn't be too much, let them crave for your care @times, let it not be @ their beck & call.


women are wired like children, don't pamper them, lest u spoil them. This is why nice guys find it difficult in handling women, because nice guys pamper women, which is wrong. That's why when a man is deeply in love, he automatically becomes a fool, because he finds it difficult to stand against her decision.

Adam couldn't even scold eve in the garden of eden when she disobeyed God, instead he graciously agreed to her request, because he pampered her. It should be moderate. Some men so much care for their women that they find it difficult to disagree with her in anything, even when they know she @ fault, why won't such a woman control her man.


Once she gets her way all time, d man becomes worthless. Imagine a guy washing the undies of his girl, how will such a girl ever respect that kind of man. Has the man ever wash his mum's undies? but the bad guys wouldn't engage in such things, that's how they earn their respect & any woman that respect u will stay with u.


Any woman that stick with a man she can control is in the relationship because of the advantage she will get. No woman on this planet earth wants a pushover for a guy, except control freaks. Just show them moderate care & they will stay.


It's natural, it's not only women, is just like the considerate guy in class, every student will want to take advantage of him, no one respect them, some may say they like them, but respect is better, but everybody respect that rude, obstinate, unforgiving, unkind, abusive guy that comes to school once in a week.


Op food for thought; u often hear pple say God does not exist, but have u ever heard anyone saying satan doesn't exist. It's good to be good, but a little bit of wickedness makes life worthwhile, it shouldn't be one sided,in the same vein, to be caring is good, but a little bit of uncaring makes it better.

This is what I call the gobbledegook of the kpotokios in the crass and macadam lugubrious ludicrous vituperation of a fugacious razzle-dazzle embedded in a pukuapuku sphinxianconundrum thalidomide.

Op you are hereby outlawed from NL with outright effect.

May my case behold a divine halo of an iconic corpus.

Op is she ur first love?

Na first love dey blind person like dis. D bi.tch is done with u.

Dese holes ain't loyal dese days.

iceberylin:
When someone smokes weed before opening a thtead

Abi o!

E be like say na jamaica weed d guy take, nija weed no bad like this.

Tallesty1:
It is more confusing dating a slim girl, you throw her on the bed and she disappears into the bed-sheet

ROTFL.....

malonephills:
my mum do encourage that when I get marry going to be fat..

Dunno why most people don't contented when you are too fat they will complain likewise tiny

That's life for u bro, pple will always talk.

Looks should be part of a woman's worry, not a man. just love & appreciate yourself, others will do d same to u.

malonephills:
this is just funny like seriously.


Yesterday my jnr brother came to my room, he saw me lying down on bed



He said broos if you spent rest of life with dangote it can't change your stature

ROTFL......

Likewise me bro, infact, am always clothed.

D post is really hilarious, d op sounded like my mum.

tainee:
I am too opinonated and wierd.

Hmmm....
Which kind english be dis one sef...


It's well...

In chris brown voice *dese holes ain't loyal*

obongproff:
I love dis. So educating.

I almost fell for one last year. We were chatting on badoo and she kept telling me her bis will soon expire. All I sed was "sorry, sha". I almost sent her d card oh, but I was so busy dat day.

Now boys don wise up

Congrats!

ArchEnemy:

And Mr Nice Guy will give her Bis

D guy no go knw say d girl dey call am mumu for behind.

Op run for your freedom, because am afraid your potential wife is a control freak in d making.

Believing me when she becomes fully fledge, u Won't be able to contain her.

zadok60:
funny guy asking funny question..
dnt marry her,cum n marry me..u hear?

you've always been a cheat,dats y she doesn't trust you..perhaps u love anything under skirt n trouser,you wouldn't mind even if its a goat with a skirt.

Wey!!! Bros u first knw d op b4? How u take knw say him na cheat? Or are u related to his gf in any way?

I don't understand o! Which kai comment be this?