₦airaland Forum

Empressgifted:
One of the main things that leads to extreme shyness and low self-esteem is masturbation. If you are involved in such or watching porn pls keep off it destroys both psycologically and spiritually.

That being said, try to be less self-conscious, focus your attention more on things happening around you than on yourself. Try to free yourself more around your peers but don't let them influence you negatively, compliment people around you on their clothes, achievements and on occasions like their birthdays.

Don't let anyone convince you that joining a cult or getting a girlfriend will make you flow with the flow, trust me if you have a brighter focus in life then these things will compound your problems because you seem to be a very sensitive person.

My advice is, make God your friend, draw closer to him and he will draw closer to you, study his word steadily and ask him for the grace to overcome your fears because if you don't tackle this problem now you might loose many opportunities in life as a result of it and pls don't overlook this, it's not something you can just outgrow.

'One of the main things that leads to extreme shyness and low self-esteem is masturbation'. I don't believe this.

@ Op, check ur temperament, u're most likely to be phleg or mel, fear is d cause of shyness or low self esteem, shy people are fearful people, I'll advise u to roll with real men, they will instil some sense of boldness into u, u just need to be bold.

But work on ur temperament, so u don't end up as a weak man...

Dera25:
My wife says I should be greeting her each time I finish eating, if not for anything but for the sake that she take her time prepare the food and served me that she deserved a greeting from me. I said okay just that it is not part of our culture and I don't think I will be maintaining to greet her each time she give me food. It is not that greeting her will reduce anything from me but the issue is that I don't usually remember this greeting after eating because it is not part of me although I do greet sometimes for peace to reign, but the way she remind me this greeting of a thing get me angry as if it is mandatory or something to the extent that sometimes we had issues because of it. So dadies and mumies in the house do you greet your wife after she have given you food? Or do your husband greet you after eating? If yes is it a mandate or just for fun? Please remind you that this is not the issue of been a bread winner or not. I beg forgive my long story and wrong grammer for I am not a grammerian. Thanks in advance

Lolzzz....

She should be d one thanking u for even eating her meal. Always know that in this section, women will always support their own, making an issue out of this bespeaks your wife is up to something, for u to open a thread on account of this shows it's somewhat serious, just watch her closely, b4 she turns u into a cook....

Men of this generation sha.... It's her duty for christ sake, so u should also tank her for breastfeeding ur baby...

ROTFL.........

Igbo!!!!! May God exorcise dis parsimonious, avaricious spirit from them....

They are just too self centred, absorbed, opinionated, seeking, serving & they are extremely greedy & tight fisted, their bride price is inconceivable....

Trading their daughters for money, what a crying shame....

Lack of self control & respect for God...

tartar9:
why do you worship Jesus

See what I mean, comparing jesus with mary... May God forgive u....

brian4657:
hello everyone,please i need advice on this
i am dating a south african lady for 8 months now and we work in the same firm. she says she loves me but the problem is :
i dont know if she really do love me or she just want a husband she can call her own,people around me especially our co workers always tag her arrogant,they hate me dating her.but she is never like that to me,she is always submissive and caring,although i do sense those arrogance traits from the way she receives calls of people that call her at odd hours,maybe when she is already asleep .
she is 4 years older than me and she has got 2 kids already.another thing i am tired of is the attitude of her always going to social media like facebook to voice her sadness if we had any misunderstanding because she knows i will always check on her timeline,and she always gets sad over little issues like when i drove her home one sunday after church and went to my home too,she was bitter and said if i really do love her ,i will take her to my house,when i remembered vividly i asked if she wants to go with me but she refused and said she wanna cook.
my friends always tell me,i can get a very young and fresh nigerian girl that has got no baby at home if i want to settle down and they will always love and respect me as the head o the house.
i am worried about the law of this country also that gives more right to women,you wife can tell you that its your time for you to make breakfast for the family,which is really scary to me.
she mentions those equal rights to me jokingly but i always shut her up,like asking me to make her breakfast
i can live this kind of human right life as a boyfriend but i am really worried and not ready to live it forever as a husband with someone i call my wife

I doubt if she will acknowledge u as d head... She may be saying her mind jokingly presently, but I believe after marriage she's gonna be serious abt it...

Considerable number of South africa women are recalcitrant...

Though it's gonna be difficult to have peace of mind from a polygamous marriage, but it's still good though,if d man is wealthy, both women will always try to pls d man, it kinda create a competitive ground for both of them. When a woman knows she is d only one in your life, she start to misbehave, but when there is a rival, she is loyal, because someone is ready to supplant her position anytime, anyday...

Rapmoney:
I dey tell you! Original two in one

Two in one reloaded....

Blackbeauty:
My thoughts exactly!People just don't get it at all..the topic first of all is annoying..I have met someone who had a first class from uniport,plus oda professional degrees from courses he took after graduation;no job yet o!where hasn't he gone to for interviews?its not as sweet as u put it eh..no be only learn french,na learn swahili!how many people can afford to even learn a skill..abi na free?The average nigerian parent leaves you to your fate once you start serving.So where wil d job applicant get funds to do all get those ur "magic surefire keys to employment"!I hate when people write stuff from a very myopic point of view..money to even pay fare to the venue of interviews is a problem..I even advise people to start applying with d basic degree they have..most employers want cheap labour,so u and your phd go trek tire..it just takes d grace of God..Not ur degree,skills,french or whatever u think can get one a job..even the people you know in high places may not help!

U get sense!

E be like say masters & phd na free for op place...

The man na combination of husband & wife material... Two in one...

princeofpeace22:
olodo
they honour Mary not worship


anuofia

Lolzzz... So u're one of them?

U can call it whatever u like.. Counting rosary beads, to bow down or lighting candles before a lifeless statue or portrayal of mary is idolatry, & that to me is worship.

The Bible is absolutely clear that we are to worship God alone. The only instances of anyone other than God receiving worship in the Bible are false gods, which are Satan and his demons. All followers of the Lord God refuse worship. Peter and the apostles refused to be worshipped (Acts 10:25-26; 14:13-14). The holy angels refuse to be worshipped (Revelation 19:10; 22:9). The response is always the same, "Worship God!"

Roman Catholics attempt to "bypass" these clear Scriptural principles by claiming they do not “worship” Mary, but rather that they only "venerate" Mary. Using a different word does not change the essence of what is being done. A definition of "venerate" is "to regard with respect or reverence." Nowhere in the Bible are we told to revere anyone but God alone.

There is nothing wrong with respecting those faithful Christians who have gone before us (see Hebrews chapter 11). There is nothing wrong with honouring Mary as the earthly mother of Jesus. The Bible describes Mary as "highly favoured" by God (Luke 1:28). At the same time, there is no instruction in the Bible to revere those whom have gone to Heaven. We are to follow their example, yes, but worship, revere, or venerate, no!

When forced to admit that they do, in fact, worship Mary, Catholics will claim that they worship God through her, by praising the wonderful creation that God has made. Mary, in their minds, is the most beautiful and wonderful creation of God, and by praising her, they are praising her Creator. For Catholics, this is analogous to directing praise to an artist by praising his sculpture or painting.

The problem with this is that God explicitly commands against worshipping Him through created things.(Deut. 5:7-9). We are not to bow down and worship anything in the form of heaven above or earth below (Exodus 20:4-5). Romans 1:25 could not be more clear, "They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator — who is forever praised. Amen." Yes, God has created wonderful and amazing things. Yes, Mary was a godly woman who is worthy of our respect. No, we absolutely are not to worship God "vicariously" by praising things (or people) He has created. Doing so is blatant idolatry.

Since Mary had other children, she did not remain ever-virgin. Therefore, the doctrine on her Perpetual Virginity is false, and the Catholic Church is wrong for calling her the Blessed Virgin Mary. Dear brothers and sisters, it's not too hard to see, their favourite goddess is Mary, the mother of Jesus. They try to be politically correct and say things like, "We don't pray to Mary, we just give her homage or ask her to run off and take our prayers to Jesus when He's too busy to hear them." Well, what the heck's the ding dang difference? Even if they aren't in fact praying to Mary, which they are, Jesus is very clear in Luke 4:8 when he says, "You shall do homage to the Lord your God; Him alone shall you adore." In fact, Jesus' mother just got in the way most of the time. In Mark 3:31-35, we learn, "There came then his brethren and his mother, and, standing without, sent unto him, calling him. And the multitude sat about him, and they said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren without seek for thee. And he answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he look round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother." It doesn't stop there friends. Mathew 13:55-56. When Jesus visited his home town and all his old neighbours proclaimed, "Is not this the carpenter's son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brethren, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us?"

The terminology is not the issue. Whether the practice is described as "worship" or "veneration," or any other term, the problem is the same. Any time we ascribe something that belongs to God, to someone else, it is idolatry. The Bible nowhere instructs us to revere, pray to, rely on, or "idolize" anyone other than God. We are to worship God alone. Glory, praise, and honour belong to God alone. Only God is worthy to "...receive glory and honour and power..." (Revelation 4:11). God alone is worthy to receive our worship, adoration, and praise (Nehemiah 9:6; Revelation 15:4).

As christians, we should avoid taking part in any customs that are not in agreement with the bible.

舶来品质量问题名片尾曲率 and 升职业教育才。

What is wrong with this comment...

Weak men everywhere... Too many weak men in nigeria, I don't just know why...

Midehi:
actually a guy who cant afford most of these things for his gf is adviced to stay clear from dating if he doesnt want heartbreak cos there will be someone secretly out there bleeping her & taking care of her needs EXCEPT she is working or capable of taking care of herself, if not 'na sorry be ur name.

Money doesn't determine heartbreak.

Even if a guy provides d whole world for a girl, someone else will still bleep her... Human needs are insatiable, but dat of a woman is more extortionate & extraneous. I just saw a thread on dis forum were a lady picked a bag of 250k, I bet such a lady will dump bill gate for a richer man.

It takes d fear of God for a woman to stick to one man, regardless of his financial status, even genuine love can't restrict a woman to one man, let alone finance...

The day a man fall in love he automatically bcoms a fool... hmmm.

Op let her go, though it's gonna be hard, pls let her go...

heartofgold44:
A friend of mine who is about getting married, told her fiancé that she wanted a registry wedding , knowing that registry wedding makes her a legal wife and prohibits a man from taking a second wife. The man refused and said that it is only a few people who don't trust their partner that is having a registry wedding. What do you think, what should the lady do.

The man is obviously wrong as a lot of people are having their registrywedding, see for yourself at http://MyRegistryWedding.com

If ur friend doesn't have any sketchy intentions, or an ulterior motive, why is she insisting on a registry wedding? I presume she want to use it as a bait, which bespeaks distrust. Why wed someone u don't trust? If a woman truly loves her man, what's wrong with d conventional traditional & church wedding..

Traditional & church weddings are recognised world wide, why insisting on a registry wedding?

I perceive mistrust...

soye3:
Well , I seem to be hearing things from people . The first is that even after giving birth to Jesus Christ, Mary IS STILL a VIRGIN and that's why she's being referred to VIRGIN MARY. the second comes up after this please so we'll deal satisfactorily with it.
What do you think guys(everyone and anyone)?.

Constructive Criticism and Arguments please , with the aim of digging out truth.

Mary was beautiful, & was living with joseph after christ birth. So when a man & a woman lives under one roof, u should expect something, except d man is not sexually active.

As God may have it, joseph was active, sexually, physically & spiritually, so he did d needful as a responsible man.. Mary had hot s€x after christ birth... 6 good looking children were d product of d good sex...

Married women still cheat on their spouse, let alone school relationship. For ur girlfriend to cheat on u only bespeaks she doesn't love u, seeking vengeance will only be a blind alley.

Face ur studies & forget about her, another one will definitely come sooner or later... & pls kill any vindictive tendency, vengeance is of d lord...

sunshineo:
Kiark3...........u must be a foolish son from a foollish woman. I believe if u had been trained you well, you won't come here and spit out trash. Calling women slaves, u really need help.

I supposed u're a bitchy daughter from a ....... Mum.. Id!ot.

I won't insult ur mum. Just tank ur lucky stars, I don't trade words with women, let alone a b!tch like u. am a perfect gentle man. I only said d bitter truth, I don't know whether u're a pagan, muslim or christian, but if u're a christian read Genesis 3:16.

As regards d slave issue, a slave is a person who is owned by another person, d moment a woman's family accepts a man's dowry, dey have sold her & d man owns her automatically, because she has been sold, no matter how small d amount involved is, it's still transaction. If women really want equality, u people should start agitating for d abolition of brideprice. A friend of mine got married to an igbo girl, from imo state to be precise & he spent close to 2 million naira, just for brideprice, isn't dat worst dan slave trade? (2 million no go reach take buy 5 pple)

abeg fvck off jor...

Ihuomadinihu:
Just wanted to share a funny story/experience with you all
I was coming back from Church and from a long way off i saw a man in car gesticulating and calling me. I simply ignored him,only for the car to trail and follow me. The man was only street calling me saying stuffs like 'sweety,i wouldn't break your heart' , ''i love you so much'' etc. I also ignored him,and he kept following me. At a point,i stopped and gave him audience but he wasn't really saying anything. I decided to branch off to my friend's house and he also came into the same house. I was furious at this point,i warned him not to follow me any further. I thought he left ,only for him to traill behind me after i left my friend's house. At a point,he came out of his car and blocked my way,shouting that i can go and call police and security to arrest him that he must stalk me and find out where i stay. I even had to push him before i could pass. He started ranting that he must marry me and that it's a bet. He just kept on following me in his car,saying all sorts of nonesense. I decided to go back to Church and report to my Pastors snice he wouldn't stop following me. On getting to my Church,he opened my bag and dropped his hand written number. My Church members say what was happening,they immediately rushed out and questioned him. He said he only said he wanted to marry me and that i refused and rebuked him. I was so embarrased and some of my Church members were even making side remarks,that i wasn't matured enough. How can you act cool when a man decides to act like a creep with you? Is it compulsory to respond to any man that calls you out on the street. Some men don't know how to approach ladies in a decent manner. How do you feel about agressive pursue from men?

Op ur moniker is even aggressive... dis kind of moniker fit attract aggressive men sef..

Honestly ur story sounds very far fetched, abi u be angel? I think u're just trying to hype yourself, by yourself & for yourself. Ladies love it a lot...

FrancisTony:
I guess you are still hurt because of the sack letter your female boss gave you.

Lolzzz.. U're very funny..

modestladyhood:
Good day,

Guys of marriageable age can find my bio below:

Religion: Christianity
Height: 5'2 ft
Body Structure: Slim
Complexion: Dark Brown
Age: 25 years
Education: Graduate
Occupation: Employed
Field: Quality Assurance
Interests: Education, Politics
Hobbies; Dancing, Surfing the net and Writing.

My match should be a Christian, Yoruba, between the ages of 30 - 35 years, gainfully employed, intelligent, hardworking, independent and should reside in Lagos state.

I can be contacted through this email address; modestladyhood@gmail.com

NOTE: Please this post is for matured minds... Childish comments will be politely ignored... My account was created for this purpose... #Cheers

25? U still be small pikin nau...

agborodun:
She stood face to face with me reeling out my loads of sin to her,being d reason why she has refused to forgive me and she said if am not careful,I may never make it in life.
This was my experience with my wife when my pastor sent for her when He prayed for me after I lost my job and virtually everything I have laboured for in life.
Part of my "sins" are
1. Giving too much attention to our children more than her
2. Not setting up a buziness for her
3. Not allowing her family members to be living with us
4. Always correcting her when she go astray
5. Always teaching her in a hard way
6. Not always allowing her to have her way.

She promised to make my life miserable if I don't change.

What do I need to do?

Lolzzz.... Weak men everywhere... Ur wife said all dese things to u, instead of u to chastise her, or flog her soft nyansh with belt, u came here to open a thread. My broda pls man up..

Stop acting like a woman...

Ewuro4:
Klark3... Na wa for you oh. What part of planet are you from?

Lolz... d comment tire u? Na just persiflage...

Yes...

Nature made it so, a man can remain single & still earn respect, but a woman will be disregarded & unfulfilled... Have u ever asked urself why a woman answers d man's name after marriage.... Because a woman's crown is her husband, they are glorified slaves, they were gotten from just one rib of a man, yet u see dem dragging territories with men...

adam had already been surviving without eve, & would have continued to survive without her... But eve wouldn't have survived a day without adam.

No husband = no respect..

Most unmarried women are whores, dey have no self respect, & no sane man is willing to condone their nasty attitude. If u're a lady, single & u're above 30, sorry for u. But a man can be single & above 60, he will still earn respect...

Thank God am a man, not a glorified slave(woman)...

cuteshantel39:
A married friend told me his experience in marriage then I decided to share it here to seek for your opinions. He use to have a coursemate back then in school. After graduation they met on facebook and started chatting. After a while the girl visited him because he was already working and comfortable. Three months into the relationship she took in and since abortion was not an option he married her. But she has been his nightmare ever since then. She doesn't love or care about him,she doesn't cook for him,she only cooks for herself and the son. The man comes home tired from work and still finds something to cook. He's thinking seriously and his BP is going high. He has refused to tell his family members or even his pastor as I adviced claiming he doesn't. Want it to go publicly. I adviced to divorce her because he now seeks happiness from girls outside but he said his parents were divorced too and he didn't want to continue in that line. Pls ur advice is needed

Op am afraid ur friend is a weak man...

Divorce is d only option..

Hmmm... Esan! d man will die of an incurable disease, if he doesn't get to know on time, but if he discover on time & stop eating her food, nothing will happen.

josgolf:
Dont really know if this's the right place to post this...but please pardon me if not,and also pardon the long read...

Sex is an important element in
marriage and until there is sexual
intercourse between a husband and a
wife, the marriage is not yet spiritually
recognized.This shows how important sex is in
marriage.

When you look at how aggressive men
are towards sex you may think that
what a man needs from a woman is
sex.
Of course, if he has not married you
yet or he does not really intend to
marry you what he will need from you
is nothing above your body.
But if he really intends to marry you or
if you guys are already married, sex is
never what he needs from you maybe
let me say it better; "WHAT A MAN
NEEDS MOST FROM A WOMAN IS NOT
SEX."

Many young girls think because they
are sexually active and experienced;
they will easily be married and have
their husbands loving them. And when
a man approaches for marriage they
think the greatest asset they have to
show the man is sex.
Others also think once they are giving
out their bodies it means they are
giving out the best for which reason
they will be chosen above all.lolzz!

There is this young girl who is
very beautiful and sexually active. Due
to that she thought sex is all that
matters to a man. Ironically, she
struggled for long before finally getting
married. Her sexual
dexterity could not win her the heart of
a man; until out of the blue and
reason,beyond imagination a very
handsome good man married her. The
wedding was grand and her tears were
now gone.
Unfortunately only a year after the
wedding the marriage fell on
rocks.Within five years three different
men came her way( BOSS-LADY) but
none could stay.
The problem was simple. She thought
sex was all that
matters so she would never submit.But
submission is what men need,not sex.

It is time for our young ladies to know
that when a man is ready to marry he
will not look out for a woman who will
satisfy his sex drive but a woman who
will submit herself to him.
Excuse my language, "every woman
has the "V" (you know what that
means) but not every woman has
humility." So when you are a humble
woman,you are an expensive jewelry.
And a man of integrity will fear to lose
you.

What does the Bible say,
"wife, submit to your husband."
The reason is that a man's true
love goes out only for a
woman who is submissive. Your
beauty cannot make another woman
ugly but your humility can let him love
you above all other women.
Sadly, many young ladies in our days
call submission as"control." And you
will hear them
saying in tiny romantic voices,
"As for me I don't want any man to
control me oh."
If you don't want to submit don't think
of marriage because no
man in his right sense will offer his
love to a woman whose heart is higher
than his height,no matter how short he
may be.
When a woman bows her knee before
her man,the man will automatically
bow his heart before her love.And love
her sincerely.There are, of course,
recalcitrant men who will not value
women of humility but I tell you
solemnly, that every true man does not
need sex, but submission.

It is submission that truly makes you a
romantic wife. So be the African queen
you want to be but when it comes to
dealing with your husband,play the role
of a humble maid.
Don't forget that it is the spirit of
humility that has caused many maids
to hijack their mistresses' husbands.
Be your man's queen and be his maid
also.I wish you all the best as you
submit in your relationship
and marriage. May God bless your
homes!

Sorry....this is X-rated.....
read responsibly........
Before you judge me, make sure
you're perfect okay??......
......Just spreading the ministry...........
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=623160494485730&id=100003753563833&refid=8&_ft_=qid.6138951269086213125%3Amf_story_key.-8952307369603357981&fbt_id=623160494485730&lul&ref_component=mbasic_photo_permalink_actionbar&_rdr#s_f3406b4ce9fdcbc973bcfe996a2863d4

Please mods...help push to fp.

May God bless u for this post.

But it will be very difficult for women to be submissive as it was in d past, because men of this generation pamper women too much... Our forefathers had control over love & sex, so they were able to put women in their rightful place...

But men of dis generation are weak, so when dey are in love or in need of sex, they are willing to lick a lady's a$$, & dis is seriously affecting women's perception abt submission...

U can use nairaland as a case study, I really don't blame women though for not being submissive, men caused it, we failed to put women in their rightful place.

Am afraid d present day man is gradually trading his position as a man for love & sex...

FrancisTony:
How handsome is the man himself?

He sounds like a rètard. The woman deserves much better than him.

I doubt if u're a man... I perceive disguise, and if u're, am afraid dis attitude of yours isn't too good man...