₦airaland Forum

stormborn28:
■ OP married her because he believe she can cook for him and save waste. This is some of the instances girls will complain that they can not go to their boyfriend house to cook since he has not married them.. How will a guy get to know this shortcoming?
■ You are saying nobody forced OP to marry her. If OP had seen this during their dating, a can berth that he wouldn't have married her

OP married her for 15 years believing this even when the evidence was contrary? Now you are paintinh Op an imbe_cile too?

2. Na wa oo!

stormborn28:
■ So OP should go to the kitchen and cook because he want to contain waste which his wife a grow adult can not learn to do after several advice.
■ Then I will consider she a woman unlearned. Probably she is not educated

Is Op some sort of god that he can't go into his own kitchen to cook food that his own family can eat? Op is equally a grown up like his wife so why can't he equally enter kitchen to cook for his family?

2 she is the one OP chose to marry so insulting her is tantamount to insulting OP.

DARLINGTON869:
■ Don't be misled, a good number of blacks in the US do deploy beating when the occasion arises and nothing happens

And a good number of those kids end up beating up the same parents.

Hathor5:
Barbaric. It teaches the kid fear but not respect. It teaches to avoid punishment but not what is right and wrong and why. They lose trust in you too. And you miss plenty teaching opportunities.

That is the problem. We confuse fear with respect. And avoidance with morality!

cooooooks:
When husband and wife are joined together, they become one.

In agreement, not in some mythical spirit or soul like Africans or your gods of men like to fill your heads with through their many fables.

stormborn28:
■ So because he wants things to be done right he should always go to the kitchen for an adult(his wife).
■ What happens to the saying" learning on the job"?
■ So for over a decade the wife has still not learn how to contain waste.. For your information, consider such woman as foolish. What is so difficult to adjust?

He is equally an adult so why can't he be in the kitchen again?

2. I never knew that was a saying that applied as far as everyone.

3. Well, no one put a gun to OP's head when he married her or chose to stay married to her for 15 years so I am not sure why you think calling her foolish changes or solves anything at this point.

Baolak:
■ As a prophet, with similar experience like yours a whole lot is required of you to be able to overcome this challenges. Firstly you need to be born again. Subsequently you need serious and continuous fasting and prayer. Alms giving should be practiced too. Listen more talk less. You will need to stay away from your parents vicinity, just put out phone calls to them when necessary. If you think you need my guidance, feel free to call or chat me up on 08050390079

Stop lying to him!

SmartyPants:
■ It's up to the couple how they divide duties. You just said so yourself literally. Now if they have divided up the responsibilities and one person is not performing theirs properly, its out of place to suggest the other person should resolve this by taking on their duties.
And yes, wasteful cooking falls within the scope of not pulling her weight because under the given economic challenges, both partners have the additional joint duty of displaying financial prudence. This is an addendum to their predefined provider and manager roles, and they should perform their duties as though they are pulling in the same direction. Wasting precious resources when its getting harder to gather them is one partner working against the other who is working hard to be able to provide despite the difficulties.
A team cannot function in this way, nor can it function by forcing al the load to one partner. All she has to do is make a simple adjustment to how she cooks. A man should not have to take on the cooking just because his wife is wasteful, when there are clearly divided duties. That's like suggesting the wife should go and do her husbands job if he comes home with a poor appraisal report.

Again, OP's complaint isn't that she does not cook but rather that she does so wastefully. So it isn't that she isn't pulling her weight but rather that OP is not happy with her method of doing it. And my suggestion isn't that OP takes on extra responsibilities. Surely, OP's responsibility in his own home does not begin and end with going to work and coming back home. if that is the case, then I would recommend marriage counseling for the couple.

Dyfynezz12:
■ Saying OP should be cooking is out of the equation. Y not look at the side where the wife should adjust on her wastefulness considering the effect of the economy cox that's the main reason why OP is complaining

Look at her for what? OP says she cooks, she just does not do it the way he would prefer for her to, and he claims she is over sabi, so what is there to look at?

SmartyPants:
■ That's what the post is about. They have divided the responsibilities but one partner is not pulling their weight. To suggest that the solution is for the other partner to take on extra weight is frankly strange. The solution lies in getting the other partner to fix their ways. What he needs are ideas on how to do this.

OP's complaint isn't that she does not cook but rather that she does so wastefully. So it isn't that she isn't pulling her weight but rather that OP is not happy with her method of doing it. And my suggestion isn't that OP takes on extra responsibilities. Surely, OP's responsibility in his own home does not begin and end with going to work and coming back home. if that is the case, then I would recommend marriage counseling for the couple.

Dyfynezz12:
■ When he was single he was feeding himself alone,thus spending less for the feeding now that madam is involved let her bring her own contribution which is cooking the food

Since Op is now complaining that the contribution he married her for is not good enough he can either look to exchanging equal responsibilities with her.

ThunderFireAgba:
■ It depends on the " Block heads" they picked as wife.

Those "block heads" did not put guns to your heads back when you were marrying them so yours complaints....

Whitelion07:
■ stop giving wrong advice here, there is nothing wrong with what the person up there said. This is Africa not Europe, which one is anybody can cook? A woman is hell bent on sending her husband back to the village with her unesessary wastage and all you have to say is the man should start cooking by himself instead.

I know it is Africa where people create problems for themselves only to then come back to complain the problem is someone else's fault and not theirs..

komzy589:
■ It’s kinda stale and unbelievable; the part where you’re pretending not to know that earning their own money is hard for most women to do.
■ I wouldn’t settle for a woman who doesn’t work and earn her own money but most Nigerian women count themselves privileged to only contribute in doing domestic chores and household runs.

1. I don't follow at all.

2. We are discussing Nigeria were the vast majority of men, without a gun to their heads, do just that only to then come back to complain stewpidly about it later.

ThunderFireAgba:
■ I can't marry a woman let her sit in the house doing nothing. No contribution, just a liability: Her up-keep for your head, Money for food even ordinary toiletries for your head. It can't be possible.
■ Better support her with a huge sum of money to start something.

I can't either but there are people who prepare that for reasons best known to them. It irritates me to hell when those people now return to complain about the woman doing nothing as if someone forced them to marry a "woman who does nothing" in the first place.

2. Start what exactly? Do you know how many end up having to continue pouring money into keeping the business afloat even after initial investments?

Dyfynezz12:
■ So he will bring money for the foodstuff nd still cook the food by himself.
■ What will madam be doing?

When he was single he would bring money for foodstuff and still do the cooking. The same probably applies to madam as well. So?.

2. That is between him and his madam to decide.

komzy589:
■ ...so that she can spend her energy in making money. Why is it so hard for you to say it.

The man and woman know what other important task she can busy herself with. I don't. His wife making money may not have been of importance to the man from the beginning so it is not my place to state that it should be.

kkins25:
■ Argue meaninglessly? here you are again, claiming that the words written in the bible are the words of God. This contrasts arguments you made in the past..
■ So tell me, kobo, how can you say, "You are told by God..." Did you Ghostwrite the bible, or were you the angel that inspired its authorship? I never heard God. So why do you want to procaim on my behalf that i was told by God?

In the book, the character who those words are attributed to and who is said to have spoken them is God, so what is wrong in saying "you are told by God"? You really like arguing meaninglessly.

If you don't want to believe that in fact the Words are the words written are the words of the God of Israel, that is fine by me but stop asking these stewpid questions.

3. Some of us quote Superman and the Hulk in our daily lives yet you choose to have a stick up your arse when I say , as is written in a book, "God said "? Again, enough with the stewpid nonsense!

kkins25:
■ This is abstract. To make such a claim, you have to assume that
1) Your concept of Holiness is the same as that of God.
2) You understand God to be completely holy from having observed him from time immemorial.
3) That whatever God does, is counted as holy, irrespective of the pain or contrasting view of others.

What's you're saying is, according to scripture, no matter what actions are performed by God, God is holy. Then, this posses even greater room for greater philosophical questions:
1)Does God count himself holy?
2) Since the scripture is the handy work of man,don't you agree that there might be "holiness" bias?
2) What is holiness, and that word was coined based on who's perception of reality?
3) Is God actually GOD? Or is God GOD to a particular group of people who deem him GOD even if they admit the existence of other Gods who also deem themselves GODs?
4) Among the Gods, is this particular God considered holy? that will take us back to boldened questions asked earlier on.

Has anyone ever informed you before that you like to argue meaninglessly?

You are told by God that you must be Holy even as He is Holy and this is the best you could come up with in terms of a rebuttal? Yuck!

tctrills:
As I said this is no longer a scripture problem but an English issue.
You have problems with your comprehending.
Now let's break it down so you may understand.
Phase 1.
Behold, the man is become as one of us. Question, in what way had man become like God?
Phase 2.
to know good and evil
So what made man become like God? Knowing good and evil.
It doesn't get easier than this.
Don't complicate your life.

Carry your English problem enter corner somewhere since I don't care for it. I already more than explained why your "English issue" fails.

DCONE1:
One piece is comedy ...Or maybe you never watch One piece anime before

I don't

tctrills:
■ Now you clearly need your English teacher. The verse in no way was comparing the level of their knowledge to that of God it only stated that they now have the knowledge of Good and evil.
We shouldn't be having the argument on the religion forum we should be discussing this on the education forum because it's an English problem that you have.

Again, The important thing here is the verse says absolutely nothing of what you claimed.

You agreeing or not agreeing with everything else I said is another issue entirely and really doesn't matter.

tctrills:
■ Please explain your understanding of the verse. It's one thing to respond and it's another thing to explain the verse.

The verse does not in fact state that Adam and Eve had no knowledge of good and evil as you formerly claimed. This can't be true because in Genesis 2, God is revealed to have given Adam( Eve included) His Law which defines for them what is good and what is evil --- God's Law is the definition of that which is disobedience(sin/evil) and that which is obedience.

Rather, what the verse hints at is that after eating the fruit in disobedience(sin) , Adam and Eve had acquired knowledge of good and evil( Law) on par with that which God (and His audience) alone were previously privvy to. Most likely be way of a receiving details of a different Law from the one they had originally been subject to, of course without God's permission.

anonymous1759:
■ Child support is not much , only rich people are milked dry. Your child support goes in line with your stream of income no biggie. Some people still refuse to pay. Only the rich with reputable business and image to protect that woman take advantage on.

Paying about $600 a month per child is not much?

Some people no pay and you think they get away with it? States can garnish one's wages in the case of none payment. What sort of life is that?

tctrills:
■ Oga, we are waiting for you to explain what you understand from the verse below.

And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

I already responded to your claim, so what is there to explain again.?

buttlover:
■ Honestly those guys used me, public shamed me and went far as boasting that none of their children will be better than them. I ran out. I am sad I realized very late. I am struggling now with timid and melancoulous mindset.

Go get your self mental health counseling to free yourself from all that mental torment please.

hopeforcharles:
Single mother children always have some sort of deficiency, it's better they are with him and he employs a matured woman to take care of them.

Some sort of deficiency? The one with the deficiency is that man who is not able to cater to his own kids and had has them locked up in the village with his mother and sister --- single-mother-like situation going on there too.

tctrills:
■ Oga there is a Big difference between good and righteous. So when God finished his creation, he said everything he had created was good. This included the birds on the air and the fish. This does not mean that the birds and the fish are righteous. Please find out the difference
2. Clearly you don't read your bible. Now here is the word of God pertaining to Adam and Eve after they ate the fruit.

And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

I am sure you don't even believe the very words of God and you would argue against it.

1. You are the one who thinks there is a difference so tell us since according to Scripture, God is good and goodness(righteousness) is by His standard and approval. I don't decide what He can approve good(righteous) and what He can't.

2. The verse does not state what you claim at all..

You claimed they did not know good and evil before eating but that verse does not say that at all.

tctrills:
■ Your logic does not make sense. Even the birds and the fish were deemed good by God, does that mean they knew enough to know good.
■ The bible clearly states that they did not have the knowledge of good and evil prior to eating the fruit. So who do we believe, you or the bible.

Scripture has it that those approved good(righteous) by God are those who have the knowledge of His Law and His Law defines for man what is good and what is evil. For animals, it could mean something along similar lines, who knows.

2. Where did Scripture tell you this?

Prospertochu:
■ I am a single father of triplets only 2 are with me but we are not living together due to the nature of my job. My boys are in the village with my mother and sister. The house I rented for them the rent will be expiring in March. Please I need your help with these two options.
1. Should I relocate them with me in my base in March. Right now I am staying in a single self cont because I am alone. But if they have to relocate I will get a 2 bedroom and parlour. Money isn't a problem.
2. Or I should renew the rent and allow them to stay in the village.
I am confuse and I don't know which one is the best.
What option will be better please help me pick the right one for the sake of my boys

Stop allowing your ego cause you to torture those kids for no fault of theirs. Send them to their mother and let her take care or them since you don't seem to have the time or will to give them the care and attention their need at this time in their lives. What you are doing to them is likely to cause them damage they may never be able to resolve. Stop damaging yours kids with your own hands for the sake of your egos.

Greatzeus:
■ infact it's an insult on God trying to be on his good side by engaging in activities so as to I'm press him.
So how did God say we can earn his Goodwill and be in good terms with him always.
" Therefore being justified by faith,we have peace with God, through our Lord Jesus Christ" Room 5:1.

Could you please elaborate on the statement in bold?

Neymar1095:
■ We are told in Genesis that the tree they eat from is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and once Adam and Eve eat the fruit they have knowledge of good and evil. So how can eating the fruit be a sin if they had no knowledge that it was evil? You may say that God directly told them not to eat from the tree and by definition sin is rebelling against God but the Bible also tells us that we are judged on what we know and Adam and Eve had no knowledge that God was good or the serpent was evil?
■ If God truly judges us by what we know as stated in Romans 2:12 how could God judge Adam and Eve as sinful considering they had no knowledge of good and evil. All they knew was that they had been told if they ate the fruit they would die and told by another the fruit would give them wisdom.
Is there something I'm missing from the story or do I just not understand?

Adam and Eve were created and deemed of good(righteous) quality by God meaning they knew enough to know good was obedience and evil was disobedience of the actual commandments(God's Law) which God gave to them. That was all the knowledge of good and evil they needed.

2. God does not judge anyone by what they know or do not know. Rather, God judges by the standard which is His Law, the agreement between Him and man. The standard that Adam and Eve were judged is the Law which God gave to them which is detailed in Genesis 2. That is the same Law which Adam and Eve both of whom were approved righteous from their creation by God broke, and were hence punished for by God.