₦airaland Forum

I was at the Police Station today to certify some documents and then I saw sumtin which impressed me "a police officer reading a Bible"....I was speechless at first then I asked him to be sure he understands what he's reading; a question m sure he would be familiar with "sir, who killed Goliath with a sling?"
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To my greatest surprise he said: "ask officer adamu he's the one in charge of murder cases"
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I just fainted

My girlfriend : babe Me. : yes love My girlfriend : I'm pregnant Me. : are you serious? My girlfriend : yeah , what you want it to be a boy/girl Me. : a joke!.

I Shaved my head and uploaded my picture on Facebook - * *1 hour later* * - I Found my picture in the news feed with the caption - " this boy has cancer 1 like=1 prayer "

As long as your name is still "BABE" in the argument... You're safe my brother.

A man went to the clinic for an Hiv/Aids test on a Saturday. The nurse told him to come, and get the results on Monday.
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On Sunday he went to church, and during a prayer the Pastor said "I hope the Lord will make everything that you will get on Monday to be positive". The man replied "Bleep you pastor !

It's raining almost every where. Whites knows its a good time to invest money on farming.
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But for we Africans, rainy days means a good climate for sex.

Dark ladies, please stop wearing white G - strings. . Because when you are naked, your booty would be looking like an Oreo biscuit.

Nigerians are funny
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You will tell them that someone died yesterday and they will say...."it's not possible,I was with him two weeks ago!!
So??

Some Friends Will Visit You Only Because Your Phone Takes Good Pictures ...

vivie01:
Oga, come and explain this ooooo

vivie01:
Oga, come and explain this ooooo

IF u think your life is miserable just know there is someone out there who's tryna masturbate but keeps on hearing footsteps coming towards the door

Doing MTN Sim swap is the hardest thing ever...They Ask you about the last call you made ,Your Last Airtime Balance, Your shoe size, Your pant size, The Last time you saw you Ex, Your bra size, even ask Who killed 2pac

Some girls be like, "I cannot cook cuz my mum did not teach me". Well, who taught you doggy style?? Idiot!

My sisters! Don't let your boyfriend stop you from finding a husband. Keep searching!!

Not girls are in a relationship for money, Some are in to take pictures with your phone eat all your food & watch Zee world and Nigerian movies at your house....

That awkward moment when you came back from school.
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Then you when you open the pot, you find it filled with water. If you have never experienced this, you never went to school at all.

okikiosibodu:
He is the one stalking the Ex, cos a telescope is used to view things from a far distance. More powerful than a pair of binoculars. Him stalking level no get part two
Cc: chinonso23, vivie01,

Lol thank you sir!

At d supermarket today
There was a preety damsel infront of me, she bought 20,000 worth of groceries but her verve card declined, and she has no money to pay for it. So I remember my mum told me dat I should always help those who are in need.


















So I helped her
Pack all d groceries back in d shelves d way it was

chinonso23:
I no understand at all

Please don't bring up or promote any religious/ tribal Racist comments on my thread please.. I'm asking politely

When i reach a bar this festive season, i would notice one really ugly man. After few drinks, i will look at him again.
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If he's still ugly, then i will know that i am still fine. But immediately he begins to look handsome, i will know that i have to go home to sleep.

Conversation Between Lovers!!

"John was sitting in a Taxi when he receives a Text message from his girl friend asking:
"Sex Tonight?"
He quickly typed:"Yes!"
Then a Thief sticks his Hand into the Taxi and Snatches the phone from John
John gets out of the Taxi and Runs after the Thief Shouting:
Press "Send" For me Please!

They Wear High waist Jeans While They're Pregnant. And When The Baby's Head Looks Like Bread They Complain

Guys I think my ex is stalking me,,, she's been googling my name on her computer ... I saw it through my telescope last night...!

Only few would understand

**AFTER SEX** USA girls: Baby did you enjoy it ?? Nigerian girls: Did you release inside me??

A good girlfriend is the one that stays awake to kill mosquitoes, while her boyfriend sleeps.
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You can argue with your ancestors!

Women can never be satisfied you can rob a bank for her she will complain and ask you why you robbed FCMB instead of UBA cause it has more money

Husband & his wife went for Divorce at court. Judge: u have 3 kids... How will u divide them?

Husband had a long discussion with his wife & said Ok,sir We will come next year with 1 more kid

9 MONTHS LATER... They got twins

A very wealthy man was in love with 3 ladies and he wanted to marry one of them but couldnt decide which one. So he decided to test them by giving them R1 million each, the first one went and bought a car for him, the second one bought him expensive clothes and shoes and the third one invested the money and brought back the money.....
He married the one with the biggest ass. Men will always be men.

I know what you were thinking

*HOW TO CROSS ROAD IN iRAQ*
Look left and right for cars and bikes,look up for aeroplane,look down for bomb,look back for kidnappers,hold ur bag tight and watch the person beside u,den walk zigzag to avoid stray bullets.

A woman dies. In heaven she sees a large Wall full of Clocks. She asks angel: "What are these for?" Angel answers: "These are Lie Clocks, every person has a lie clock! Whenever u lie on earth, clock moves." The woman points towards a clock and asks: Whose clock is this? ... Angel says: its Mother Teresa's. It never moved, showing that she never told a lie. The woman asks "Where is the clock of our President Buhari ?" The angel replies: That is in our office, We use it as OFFICE FAN
...

An Igbo man bought a well from a Hausa man.
The next day while on his way to market he met the Hausa who told him:
"Brother, I have sold the well to you but I have not sold the water, if you use the water you will have to pay for it."
The Igbo man replied:
"Ah, yes. I was planning to go to your place and ask you to empty the water and if you don't do it then you will have to pay the rent for the water in my well."