₦airaland Forum

If women would just keep quiet, there won't be much problems in any family. . A wife & husband visited a farm, they saw a bull having sex with a cow. The wife asked the farm manager: . Wife: "How many times does a bull have sex per day?" Manager replied: "6 times or more a day". Wife: looks at her husband & says..." you see!" Then the husband asked the manager: "You mean 6 times a day with the same cow?" Manager said " No, No, with different cows everyday." Husband looks to his wife and says .... "you see!"

Dear Ladies
That moment when you are Sneezing,while you are on Periods,and feel like you have gave birth to Jelly Fish!!
Have you noticed that??

Bleaching your Skin till you Shine Brighter than your Future is not a problem,the Problem is having White Face.Yellow Hands,Chocolate Lips and Black Legs.......My Sister,Are You A Zebra??

A taxi driver is being interrogated after an accident
POLICEMAN: So Mr how did you kill 59 people?
TAXI DRIVER: I Was driving at 80km/h when I saw 2 men crossing the road, on the other side, A Wedding was taking place. I Hit the brakes but they failed, So I Had to make a choice, either to hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party
POLICEMAN: Hit the 2 men ofcourse!
TAXI DRIVER: Exactly! we think alike, but after hitting one, the other man escaped into the wedding party, So I Went after him

The Reason Why Women Will Never Be The One's Proposing Is Because As Soon As They Get On Their Knees, The Man Starts Unzipping His Trouser

Only few would understand

You never know how bad your voice is Until you record yourself with your phone And sing then you realize you sound worse than your problems

I'm so broke that even If thieves broke into my house at night to search for money, I would wake up and search with them

When she cries during sex And u start feeling proud thinking that you fucking her good while she is thinking about the money she wasted on transport for such nonsense

How long do you think you would spend in the toilet if there was a charging plug?
Me: half my life

Since I was born,and now im getting old, I have never seen hausa twins . Pls have you seen?

Only in Nigeria that your phone will be 100% you will still be charging and pressing it... Even they take the light and bring it back you will continue from where you stopped
98% is even low battery

One of the most powerful connection is when ur mom/aunt/sis is among the women sharing food in a wedding ceremony..

So a hawker will run 200 metres to get to ur car and you will now touch the Viju Milk and say it's not cold, touch the gala and say its too strong, touch the plantain chips and say is not yellow enough. You think it's only fornication that takes people to hell ... Walahi you can't make heaven

You think heartbreak is the most painful thing that could ever happen to a person??
Have you ever wash so many white clothes for 2hrs, after Spreading it on a rope, den d rope cut.

When i was in secondary school my teacher came to class with Mathematics scripts. Then he started announcing the results.
.
He said "Enock Ozurumba 17 out of 100". an we all started laughing
Then the teacher replied "What the hell are you laughing ?. He's the highest !!

I swear Relationship stress can make you look for your phone, while using the light of your phone

That awkward moment when you are busy with pens down celebrations. Tearing school shirts,and writting on the tables " Dineo Whitney was here on 2017".
.
B m : The results comes out, you have failed, and come January You sew new uniform

I would actually like to spend my Christmas holidays in London. . But my bank balance directs me to Cotonou

At primary school i was taught that a pussy is a cat, Bitch is a female dog, sex is a gender, period is a length of time for a study, and race was an athlete game.
.
Now i passed through high school, and confused because all this things are meaning something else.

Some people get mad when you forget their birthday. . As if you gave birth to them.

Some people get mad when you forget their birthday. . As if you gave birth to them.

Lol guys easy with the replies on my thread

A gentleman went to a night club, then he approached two ladies who were sitting near the bar man.
.
He greeted one lady, and asked her if she would like to dance. The she said "Yes, I would like to dance". Then the guy replied "That's nice, go, and dance. I wanna speak to your friend".

That awkward moment when you're having sex with bae And she's not screaming or making any sounds And the bed feels sorry for you It starts making those Kwi nchi, kwi nchi, kwi nchi sounds

A king was going to war. So he locked up his wife, called his best friend and gave him the key to the room saying, "If am not back in 2weeks, you can have my wife". He entered the horse and hit the road. 30 mins later, he saw his friend rushing to him in another horse. The king asked him wat is it?? And completely out of breath he said "you gave me the wrong key"

"A Zimbabwean Is Having A Conversation With A Nigerian!

Zimbabwean:Is it True that if you ask a Nigerian a Question,they Answer you with Another Question?

Nigerian:Who Told you That?

So I Had Sex With This Girl After We Finished She Closed Her Eyes And Started Crying... I Asked Her What's Wrong, she said "I Know You're Gonna Leave Me After This
"....
.


Bro That Shit Almost Made Me Cry Too.
Cause She Was So Right!!

The hot girl next to me in class just fell asleep,maybe I should fall asleep too.. So I can tell my friends I slept with her.

If any lady phones you, and she say "I need a favour". Just switch off your phone, and remove the battery.
.
Then pull the charger from the wall socket, and switch off the main switch. You can't trust them

My grandfather told me that he saw The Titanic, and that from the beginning he warned all the people that that boat would sink, but they
ignored him, however they were warned again on several occasions, until they kicked him out of the cinema.

Ladies, please shave your armpits and stop hiding them with emojis when you take pictures

Cc Vivie01

Some ladies will spend so much
money on weaves trying to impress a man who is out there cheating on them with a girl who doesn't even comb her hair