₦airaland Forum

Mistymash:
I will lace the condom with chloroquine. Will wait for you for your next prescription . Great jokes tho.

Ladies, when you see that ex that hurt you so much in town, just point at him and shout "Thief thief!!"
God will handle the rest .

Fat girls are the most selfish people in the world, they will sit down with a mini skirt and you will see nothing.

Bad sex is a waste of sin. Imagine going to hell for something you didn't even enjoy

Dear Men
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One day your Woman will take off Her Brazillian Hair and Make-up...Then you will Talk Man to Man!!

Imagine if you go to the shop to buy poison to commit suicide . But you still wait for the change. You are not serious.

Tips for loosing weight..! Slowly turn your head to the left then again to your right.. Repeat this exercise when offered food..

Real Stress is when you finally meet your Girlfriend's Mother and she says,
"So you are the one who is always dropping off my daughter at 3AM every weekend with a Red Car?
......But you don't even have a Bicycle....

Steal your Girl's phone and Text her Best friend saying.."I'm pregnant and if she replies "for who?"
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My Brother I have a story to tell

There are many things we can learn from Dogs like being Loyal,protective,caring and loving unconditionally,but we choose to learn only one thing
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Dog Style...Why?

Short people are looking very funny when wearing sun hats. . They would be looking exactly like mushrooms.

I have changed my car hooter. It sounds like a gunshot instead of that "beep - beep" sound.
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Trust me, it's amazing now, people move faster on the road when i hoot now.

Last friday was my Birthday.my girlfriend didn't wish me a happy Birthday.
My parents forgot also and so did my friends?...
I went to work and even my Colleagues didn't wish me a happy Birthday.as I entered my office,my Secretary said,"Happy Birthday Boss".....mmm I fell so special.She asked me out for Lunch."
After Lunch,she invited me to her apartment.we went there and she said,"Do you mind if I go into the Bedroom for a minute?"
"Okay",I said....She came out 5 minutes later with a Birthday Cake and Champaigne.My girlfriend,My parents,my friends and my Colleagues...all screaming....."Surprise!!!!!
Guess What Happened??
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I was waiting on the Sofa.....Naked!!

Awoman hears someone knock at the door.
She opens to see and a man asks,
"Do you have a Vagina??" She slams the door in disgust.the next day she hears a knock,opens up and its the same man.He ask the same question,the woman slams the door again.her husband get back home after work.the lady tells him what happened for the last 2 days."
Husband says to her,"Honey,I'm taking a day off tomorrow to be home just in case this bastard shows up again."
The next morning,they hear a knock at the door and the husband says,"I am going to hide behind the door and listen.if it is the same guy,I want you to answer "Yes" to see where he is going with this I want to beat the hell out of him!
The man asks the same Question,"Do you have a Vagina?"
"Yes!" Replies the woman.
The man replies:"Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife alone and start using yours

Wife:What are you doing? Hubby:I'm killing Mosquitoes Wife:How many did you killed so far? Hubby:5 in total,2 Males and 3 females Wife:Whaaat? How do you know their Genders? Hubby:2 near the Beer and 3 near the Mirror

I always enjoyed sleeping naked.
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Until the day a rat nearly circumcised me for a second time. Trust me, i will never sleep naked again.

A grade 3 learner asked her teacher, what are periods. Teacher said " A periods is a length of time for each lesson".
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The boy replied "That periods must be realy bad, because my sister told mum that she missed her periods, my daddy fainted, and our gardner escaped.

Heartbreak will make you go out with your remote thinking it's your phone

It's confusing when you see short people celebrating their birthdays. Whereas they are not even growing
that same height for 5 birthdays

I heard some ladies saying things like "There's nothing i can't do that men can do".
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My sister, can you also wear a single under wear for the whole week

Blacks will walk with slippers shoes in the mall. . Just to prove that they came with a car, not public transport.

Most people take many selfie pics, save the best pictures, and delete the others.
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But later, we see them walking like the deleted pictures on the streets.

Step Dad : Kids Your Making Noise...Shut the hell Up! - Kids : You Found Us Making Noise...So Please Excuse Us!

One of the best feelings in the world is when someone you hate tells a joke & nobody laughs

My crush just liked my profile picture on Facebook . Anyone who knows a wedding planner ?? . inbox me please

some one just told me ugly girls fall pregnant just to prove they can have sex too.

A thief stole a television set from a house, as he ran out, a mad man who is a resident in that house gave the thief a hot chase.
The more the thief ran,the more the mad man increased his pace....
The thief could not run any more at a point and sat under a tree.
The mad man caught up with him and sat next to him panting for breathe.
After a while, the thief broke the silence.
Thief: Why are you chasing after me?
Mad man: You forgot the remote control.

That awkward moment your younger brother ask you to spell diarrhea in front of the whole family and you are like
Can't you check your dictionary? Oponu!
Then your dad boomed "spell it for him now, agba ya"
And the whole house went silent again for you to talk and your brother getting set to right it down
Then you are like...
D-a-o-r-i-a.....dioaria
Asiri werey ba tu!!!

vivie01:
hahahahahahah

Oga Krystaal well done ooo

Thank God body parts are not removable if not you'll see girls like Vivie01 asking their friends "Abeg borrow me your breast, you know say my own don fall..I wan go see my bf"

A married couple are out at a dance.
There’s a guy on the dance floor break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife says to her husband, "See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
The husband says, "Looks like he’s still celebrating."

My friend asked me "Why are you getting a divorce?"
I responded, "My wife wasn't home the entire night and in the morning she said she spent the night at her sister's house."
He said, "So?"
And then I responded, "I know she's lying because I spent the night at her sisters house!

When a woman decides to revenge, even the devil sits down to take lessons