₦airaland Forum

They say milk gives strength. I drank 4 full cups of milk yet i wasn't able to move a wall, but when I drank 4 bottles of beer and I saw the same walls moving all by themselves. These nutritionists can tell lies

When you see a Nigerian couple outside staring at the moon in the night, there's nothing romantic about that.Its either they have no power or they are waiting for the harsh smell of a Mosquito killer sprayed inside to die out!

Man sends wife an SMS:
I got hit by a car outside the office. Sarah brought me to the hospital. They have been running tests and X-rays.The blow to my head, though very strong, will not have lasting or serious damages. I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and a compound fracture in my left leg. They also may have to amputate my right leg


Wife replies:
Who is Sarah ?!

No Body Lowers Their Voice Than a Guy Who ask For a Girl Number In a Taxi

Roses are red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go up, Pants go down, Body to body Skin to skin, When its stiff, Stick it in, The Longer its in, The Stronger it gets, It goes in dry And comes out wet, It comes out dripping And starts to sag, Its not what you think...... Its a Teabag

When she's explaining how her last boyfriend hurt her and you gotta act like u ain't gonna do the same

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!

When your ex unblocks you, just know life is hard on the other side

Take a girl to a club and she'll wear a tiny dress but when it's time to sleep she'll be wearing a skinny jean, socks, helmet , gloves and overall

Hello Boss.
"I won't be able to come to work today, there's a taxi strike.
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Boss "You mentioned jogging as your hobby in your C.V. Then i want to see you at work within an hour. Bye - bye

The boss was telling me rules of the company. He said rule 2 is cleanliness.Then he asked me if i have wiped my feets on the main door carpet ?.
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I replied "yes". He said, "Rule no:1 is honesty, and there is no carpet on the door". I am now fired.

My granny is too strict, but sometimes she embarass me in front of my crushes.
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If she see me walking with a slender girl, she would be like "We changed you nappies when you were young, keep chasing Aids, and see who will change you nappies again".

Research has shown that the early signs of HIV/AIDS includes refusing to be tested.
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No need to argue. Case closed.

There's no Animal That Runs Fast Than A Lady With Fake Hair and Make Up When It Starts To Rain!!

One Drop Of Rain . . . . BOooM The Whole Nigeria Is Hot....

Why would you spend 200k for DNA test?
Something that native doctor will check everything for 1k ,give you change,even play you a video

Ordinary razor blade is naw N50... Please, that boat that use to carry slaves to America... When is it returning to Nigeria?

U will see some parents when their daughter is 18 they will write beware of dogs boldly on their gate but when she is 30 they will write buy ur ice block here

Only in Nigeria that your phone will be 100% you will still be charging and pressing it... Even they take the light and bring it back you will continue from where you stopped
98% is even low battery

I mistakenly stepped on one Yoruba gals feet and she asked me "Are u in Zain? and I replied no ...am in Etisalat .

When Boredom Hits Me, I Pick My Phone And Start Calling The Police. . . ME: Hello Police, Help Me 48 People Are Following Me . . POLICE: Okay Calm Down! Where Are You? . ME: On Instagram.

If you are sad don't listen to Celine Dion songs, that granny can make things worse.

Dear future wife Your boobs should point at me not the floor...

You know the devil is alive when your baby is ugly and everyone keeps sayings it looks like you...

Guys, we are old now. These rules that you can't date your friend's ex boyfriend must fall!!! We don't have time to be hunting strangers. We work on referrals and previous experience

If you have a side chick, and your girlfriend does not find out. Don't think you are intelligent.
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Just keep in mind that she does not have time, because she's also cheating.

If you don't have her panties in your wardrobe, or any where in your room. . just keep in mind that she's not yet yours my brother. Case closed.

The reason why other guys treat you better than your boyfriend. . Is because they haven't slept with you yet. Don't be fooled my sister.

My mother sent me to withdraw an amount of #500. But my crush was on the queue of he ATM, so i had to withdraw #7000.
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I am glad she have gave me her number. I am inside the Bank to deposit the #6500 back into the account now

Mosquitoes are heartless, they don't need anybody's permission. . Always when they come, we automatically become blood donors.

It's Always A Nice Looking Guy That Comes To U and Whispers In Your Ear "My Friend Likes You" While He Point On A Ugly Monkey, With Big Ears Like A Rabbit

That awkward moment When you're laughing at your friend for getting kicked out of the class and the teacher says "join him"