Only guys that press breast a lot can differentiate between today's bread n yesterday's bread

Since the day I mistakenly recharged #3000 airtime instead of #300, i no longer click on "Complete Transaction" without using toothpick to count the zeros.

My friend uncle has been in coma for the past two days after realising the house he had been paying rent for the past ten years was owned by his wife.

Having sex with deaf and dumb lady is so annoying..... You will be having sex with her instead of her to moan she will write it down for you after sex.

If u see the way some Guys shake their dick after urinating eeehnnn.. No one will tell u that dey were bell ringers during their primary school

Nollywood will not kill me oooo. How can they open casket and the corpse is sweating...

Just leave me alone, Am not feeling fine

vivie01:

LOL
Vizzy, you dey reach here too? I be oga Krystaal 'customer' na

Lol

If the government would ban women from using makeup, a lot of kids will not recognise their mothers

Upcoming artistes with their 1st track will be shouting "U already know who it is!!". How we want take know ??! We attend the same waec lesson ??

Pain is when you enter a taxi and greet, but the passengers reply you, "sit down we are late"

If Only Nigerian guys can handle girls hearts the way they handle bet9ja slip, Relationships would be better.

If you want to talk to your babe and you have just 2naira on your phone.... Just call her and say this with an harsh voice
"So you think I would not find out abi?!"
Cut the call. Balance well.. Cross your legs and wait for her call. Don't thank me

chinonso23:
That's bad of u Krystal Why not appreciate his effort

Really ?? Didn't you see the Lol on my post ??...Sir I was teasing him

*If you are a stammerer don't tell any Nigerian woman that her Toe is big..* *Only few will grab*

I saved my girlfriend's contact with her real name on my phonebook but usually when i
pick her call i say "HI LOVE"....
.
So yesterday, i ran out of airtime while talking
to her, so i had to use my friend's phone to call her without his notice, when i dialed her number on his phone, it displayed "MY LOVE". . . So i was
wondering how that smartphone knew i was calling her.
.
Smart phones are really
smart o!!!

Apart from me, who else just realised that E.g means "Example Given" I.e means "In Essence"? But i bet your teachers told you E.g = ‘’For example‘’ I.e = ‘’That is‘’ ‍‍‍ Are u thinking wat im thinking?? If you are just knowing the true meaning, join me as we go and collect all the school fee we have paid in the past

The only person a woman attentively
listens to and obeys sincerely and does
exactly as he say is a PHOTOGRAPHER, otherwise if you're not a photographer, sit down and be strong

CrookBoy:
<b>Doctor : sorry sir, reports got mixed up
We don't know if your wife has AIDS or Asthma
Husband : What should I Do now
Doctor : Send her for jogging, if she Returns
Don't sleep with her

This oga wants to take over my thread lol..nice one tho

if it happens that you see my status saying "I am in Dubai this Christmas".
.
If you see me around, it means you are also in Dubai. Please don't complicate things.

Sometimes I reduce my grandma's phone brightness to Zero, and tell her she needs #1000 to buy a new screen bulb.

Igbo girls have no chill at all.
.
Imagine, she told me as long as I'm always broke, she'll always be on her period.
Since then I've lost my appetite

Nowadays, relationships are like birthday parties. . Once the cake is eaten, then the party is over.

People say falling in love is the best feeling,but I think finding a toilet when you have a running stomach is truly the best feeling.....

I remember the first time I had sex I was so happy to the point where I was even greeting dogs on the streets.

My brother, if you ever go with your girlfriend to your friend's house.
.
Then his dogs doesn't bark at her, just keep in mind that his dogs have met her before.

Classy girls have no tattoos, because no one can intentionally scratch a Range Rover, Lexus, or a Mercedes-Benz.
.
If you have tattoos, it's obvious that you are a rubbish dumping lorry

Last Night I Watched A Nigerian Christmas Movie and the part when Mary told Joseph that She's Pregnant...Joseph Was Surprised And Was Like "Ohh Jesus Christ!!!" I changed the channel.

Police: Where do u live? Me: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Me: With Me. Police: Where do you all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is your house? Me: Next to my neighbour's house. Police: Where is your neighbour's house? Me: You won't believe me if I tell you. Police: Tell Me! Me: Next to my house That's how I ended up in cell

I'm not a prophet but i know Someone Somewhere Is Smelling Their Socks To See If They Can Wear it to work tomorrow

Somebody Said fat guys with short dick look like the capital letter " Q " when naked.

Dineo asked one of her class mate a question "What is the difference between a bird, and a fly ?".
.
The class mate quickly replied "A bird can fly, but a fly cannot bird. Do you understand now ?".

If women would just keep quiet, there won't be much problems in any family. . A wife & husband visited a farm, they saw a bull having sex with a cow. The wife asked the farm manager: . Wife: "How many times does a bull have sex per day?" Manager replied: "6 times or more a day". Wife: looks at her husband & says..." you see!" Then the husband asked the manager: "You mean 6 times a day with the same cow?" Manager said " No, No, with different cows everyday." Husband looks to his wife and says .... "you see!"