₦airaland Forum

Women rock

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

How many men does it take to tile a bathroom?
Two. If you slice them very thinly.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.

What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A power failure.

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

The Y Chromosome Theory: Why Women Are Better Than Men

For years, scientists have researched the basic differences between human males and human females. While it has been previously declared that what determines gender are the "X" and "Y" chromosomes found in male sperm, this is only partially true. As it turns out, the "Y" chromosome is, in fact, a defective "X" chromosome with one of the legs missing. At first this discovery baffled scientists, but further research has determined that this mysterious missing leg physically manifests itself on the outer body of a male, resulting in what is commonly known as a penis. It has also been determined that human intellect is stored in this part of the chromosome, resulting in the male of the species commonly using his penis (the physical manifestation of the missing part of the chromosome) to make many decisions.

Once the genetic defect was discovered, scientists were determined to find out what other effects it may have on its victims. Unfortunately, since the penis, although technically part of the male DNA, is on the outside of the body, it deteriorates at the same rate and sometimes faster than the body of the male. This disc

overy led to scientists quickly finding a way to keep the penis (and thus, the male brain) functioning. The result is drugs for what is being called "erectile dysfunction." Another sign of the deterioration of the external part of the chromosome is what is widely referred to as a "mid-life crisis," during which a male will frequently search out younger women (even if he already has a perfectly lovely woman) and faster, phallic-shaped cars. He may sometimes quit a steady job and then attempt one strange get-rich-quick scheme after another, or, in extreme cases, use the time to "find himself."

This is all in a subconscious effort to convince himself that he is a young, virile man; the reasoning being that if he believes it, his body will cease deteriorating

Busybody and Chinesedoll!

walestar:
Male are better than female 100% because female were created from part of our bones and flesh, we own the world because we are come the world first before they do. Do you know Jesus, Mohammed and even Orunmila are all male. WE ARE 100% better.they Labour for 9 months of what the seed we planted in their stomach as a result of Eve sins. we don't have any feeling except working which both of us tend to do now. we enjoy the world because we dont have anything to carry on big pot belly for 9 months

ROTFLMAO

At least we have an excuse for having a potbelly for nine months whats your excuse?

Oh yes sign of good living abi?

Why do you think the world is in such a mess Because men run it!

This was meant as a joke why do we now have WW3?

Im happy you are now at rest. There shall never be another one like you. You died a legend.

So you followed me here abi?

congoshine:
o ti like oko dido ju

As far as I am concerned if your child was sexually assaulted you DO NOT TAKE PAYMENT you see the fucker rot in jail they did it all for money. Hope they are happy with themselves.

please God no.

its unconfirmed.

You know if Dildos produced sperm men would become soooooooooo redundant.

I go die oh!

You see ladies men even NAME THEIR MANHOOD!!

El calls his CLUB!

What a joke I heard it was tiny. Guess it makes you feel better

El you you know you would still hit that.

Thats the problem with men their p e n i s has a brain of its own.

At least we dont get pointless hard ons all day long.

El have you been dumped lately?

Told you were an egomaniac?

Did a female laugh at your manhood?

Because seriously hun what gives?

cool good for her. Let the baby making begin!!!

chaircover:
Spend it on her family (I mean her husband & kids) and keep some for a rainy day

Exactly!

Marriage is a partnership not slave/master

My first kiss was amazing.  He was a fantastic teacher.  It was slow and soft and I thought I was going to die. He made love to my mouth with his.

Only after two years with Rachel you want to bring a child into the world a child you cannot even tell your mother about because she doesnt even know you are a clit muncher!

So the child who did not ask to be born will be a dirty little secret. I hope your child can contact the donor I hate people both straight and gay who are giving birth to this whole new generation with no background or identity.

As far as I am concerned your sexuality was your choice. Why cant you accept that you cant have children?