₦airaland Forum

Lol. If Omotala is 35, the I'm 5

Btw, she looks nothing less than 45

^^^ Just what I wanted to type.


In addition, stop making eexcuses for him. If he's such a good guy, he'd stop hurting you, and make efforts to change his ways.

Relax people, the Law was unenforced. I have never seen or heard a woman arrested for wearing trousers in Paris.

Nas is good rapper. And he's hawt, so I like him

Jay Z is a terrble rapper, but a good business man.

My best hip hop artists are Tu Pac and Eminem.

stpat1: Its so sad. The funny thing is that she is nice to a fault and loving like no one else. But I see this attitude of crawling into her shell for so long as a sign of disrespect and not caring how you feel at those moments. I think I'll go on with the wedding and after about 2 kids, if she doesn't change I'll divorce. Cos I don't think I'll want to start another courtship now. I just hope she doesn't get to read this before I delete it.

I think you are a troll, you don't really need any advice.

What a waste of my precious time.

booqee: wtf?? How does accepting d fact dat 80% men do cheat correlate with having a three$ome with my bf??
good Lord! Are u silly by default or by design?? Where in my post did i indicate i have unprotected sex or even intimacy at all?? Now i think you're d one who needs to wake up from ur slumber and stop living in d past..if u think men don't cheat at all. Jeez! Dis is freaking 2012..we're not in the 19th century for goodness sake. You should certainly go out more and aquint urself with the society! Maybe then..u'll keep mum. Fact is, not every guy cheat..but for those who do..we still have d sensible and matured ones among them..who reserve a very large percentage of respect for their girlfriend or wife. But wat every girl wants just like me is to have a guy who wouldn't cheat at all but be faithful..but dat is just ur luck if dat wish comes through. Yeah luck..cos they're so few, take it or leave it! now may i ask you to keep dat pit u call mouth shut?!...if there's anyone suffering from low self esteem i think its you,.and it has apparently beclouded ur sense of reasoning.

Blah blah blah of low life with a deafeatist mentality.

You suck, just like your posts. Go learn how to type first, maybe it'll help you get rid of your low self esteem.

Why did it take you 8 years to realize that you can't cope with this behavior

What she's doing is a form of emotional abuse aka silent treatment. She does this to manipulate you, and to feel powerful. She knows you'll always beg her even if she offeneds you, so she doesn't bother to apologise first.

Dude you need to wake up and smell the coffee, you are in real sh1t. Emotional abuse is a very serious thing, it can drive you into depression.

Talk to her, find out if she sees anything wrong with her actions and if she's ready to change.

If she's not willing to change, I'd break off the engagement. It's better than a divorce.

Just my two cents.

k2039: Op stupidity is seeing the obvious but choosing to believe the lies.

You know the content of their converstaion,you know well enough from the conversation if he is cheating.

If you have a deep conviction he is cheating,them it's time to call it quit.

If you confront him,he is going to lie,or tell you to forgive him that he will change.

The worst decision you can make is believing he will change and if you do believe you will only be left dissapointed for the rest of your life.

Think about this,if you were number one on his list,he would never had told you to go away but rather he would have called the other girl and cancelled the appointment with her.


Lets assume he is not even cheating,why did he have to lie with his mum.


My2Cent:You are just an option in his book,so walk away from the relationship now before he rips your heart off completely.
Never forget you were born without him and their are millions out their that are better than him,also their is someone out their who will make you his priority

I love love love this post. Who are you? Would like to know.

booqee: From what i know oh,(nobody should eat me raw abeg)...at least 80% of the guys cheat on their girlfriends or wife! Yes! And i really hate dat bout them,.but i've come to accept dat fact like dat.
But the thing is dat despite cheating, some guys still make it clear that their girlfriend is their 'real girlfriend' and they don't mess with her(they do their 'cheating' as discreet as possible) and they give her all d respect she deserves, but there are some guys who cheat without respect for their girlfriends like in ur case..he made u leave d house so he can bang another girl, in d same house u slept last night and will still sleep dat night. No! dats bullsh.it and trash...and u're his trash, sorry to say dat. I'd say you should confront him..but be careful, cos he's gon deny it or ask for forgiveness or even go on the defensive by saying "why did u have to infringe on his privacy by recording?" or "u don't trust him"..u know shi.ts like dats.. you shouldn't fall for any of it.. guys are more deceitful than a snake.
You shouldn't even take such nonsense.
After the confrontation, then walk away.
If he comes back to beg u...gauge and access his response, explanation and behaviour with sense and wisdom to know if he really loves you., and don't just accept so fast! And dats if he'll even come back.
U just need to reason with ur head here. Don't let ur heart do the reasoning..

Keep deceiving yourself that 80% of men cheat, therefore you have to accept and live with this ''fact''. Do you partake in thre3somes with him too?

Maybe you'll wake up from your slumber when he gives STDs, or when he dumps your sorry azz.

Some low lives will never know self worth, even if it hits them like a truck on the face!!!

shymexx: Bwahahahaha

Hmmm...You just got me scared when you said your husband is the ceremonial head of the house lol...

I'm all for equality and brainstorming between husband and wife because it takes to tango... However, you need to allow the man play his role and handle most of the decision-making... Women are emotional beings and most times, you lot are prone to make mistakes, when it comes to prudent decision-making... And there can't be two drivers in a car - let the natural "head" drive, and you take the back seat to ensure a safe driving lol... But there's nothing bad in giving suggestions and brainstorming...

Oh ok, gotcha.

It really depends. Every couple needs to find out what works for them.
I'm all for equality and partnership. But some men have very tight schedules and can't be bothered about things like grocery shopping, weekly food schedule, etc. Honestly, my man doesn't care about what I cook. He eats everything I give him, as long as its delicious.

If you read my previous posts, I said that a man is the natural head of the house. I wouldn't make any major purchase or desicion without running it through him first and vice versa. He plays his role as the head, there's no doubt about that. It's just that because he trusts my judgement, he let's me make some decisions in the family. This makes me respect and love him more

For instance, I spent hours online researching a destination for our Christmas vacation. Even when I sent him links to the places I've found, he doesn't even bother look at them. He says I should choose wherever I want 'cos he trusts my judgement, and he knows I'll choose a good place within our budget. This is just one of the many many examples. And there are situations where he makes the final decision too, usually with my input.

This is how our relationship works. Sometimes I ''drive'', sometimes he does, depending on the situation. There's no competition, no fighting about it.

Ify thanks.

We have powers, but only very few women are smart enough to utilize their powers diligently. Just like you said, a ''touch'' from a good woman can make the strongest man sing. Unless the man is a total jerk. In which case, the woman should blame herself and take full responsibility for her bad choice in a life partner.

I wish all women could know this, lots of lives would be saved.

shymexx: La Parisienne is the bossy type...

Shymmex I'm calling you out on this, what did I do?

I'm awaiting your response

ifyalways: Felis,I don't agree that submitting to your husband makes you subject to his decisions or places you under him. well,unless you as a woman made a wrong decision and married an a*hole.

Submitting to your husband makes you a consultant and stakeholder for every decision to be made and places you just beside your husband.A good husband is just like a captain while wife is ship.both needs each other 50/50 to function.

Gotta do school runs,would be back to comment on the topic.

Very well said.

fellis: True. But machines have taken over a lot of these 'physically demanding' jobs.

Yeah it's true that machines haven taken over some of these jobs. But a lot of men are still employed in the mining industries, oil fields, as plumbers, builders etc. Now there might be a few women working those kind of jobs, but it's mostly male dominated.

fellis: Lol,not all men are emotionally stronger and not all men handle heartbreaks and tough situations better than women.
Infact you need to understand what the word 'emotion' connotes before you decide whether or not men handle them better than women.
The word 'Emotion' means a strong feeling about something/some matter.
If we look at it in this sense, men react more emotionally than women in certain situations. A woman can react more emotionally than a man when it comes to handling the death of a loved one, but a man would react more emotionally than a woman when it comes to issues such as dealing with threats to his manhood.
Another example; there have been news about how men stabbed other men (with knives), because they supported opposing football teams and those opposing teams won. There has never been any news of a woman reacting in such an emotional manner because of something as simple as a football match.
Men also tend to turn to alcohol when it comes to handling trauma (something which women are not known to do) and this, in a way, proves that they cannot handle the reality of their situations and thus they turn to alcohol to forget. How can you then conclude that all men handle trauma better than women when you know that men do this?
Anyway my point is, men react more emotionally than women when it comes to certain issues and women react more emotionally than men in other issues.
You have to provide evidence to support your claim that men are more, overall, emotionally stronger than women before you make such a declaration.
It has also been proven by different scientific experiments that women perform exactly or even better than men when given the same opportunities and when gender bias has been taken away from their environment.

Although I get your point, you really don't have an argument here. Men are emotionally stronger than women, generally. Everyone know's this. There might be a few exceptions, like the ones you listed above.

fellis: Lol, I know you just said this because of your religious beliefs.
Most men don't deserve to be head of even a flock of sheep, talkless of a whole family of wife and kids.
And in some instances, women have better decision making abilities than the men they marry, most women end up marrying men who they are more intelligent/smarter than so why should she defer decision making to a man she is more intelligent than?

You are going too far by saying ''most men don't deserve to be head of even a flock of sheep, talkless of a whole family of wife and kids''. This true for some men, but not ''most'' men. I don't know the kind of men you roll with, but most men I know are responsible poeple with good family and societal values.

fellis: Yeah, men are more likely to earn more because of the societal bias against working women, not because they are naturally prone to earn more.

Men are naturally prone to work harder, so it isn't surprising that they tend to earn higher than their female counterparts. I'm not underplaying the role of societal bias here, just giving another perspective.

fellis: More religious talk.
And please, you are not running the show when you submit to your husband.
You are subject to his decisions.
You are under him.
You do not run the show subliminally or otherwise, please don't kid yourself.

Call it what you like, but it works for me.
I RUN the show in my house. My husband can never make any major purchase or decision without consulting me first. When he's making plans, he considers me first. He has utmost respect for me as I for him, and he genuinely cares for my wellbeing. I plan ALL our vacations, I choose the color of the house etc.
So please how does this make me a subject to his decisions, when I'm making most of the decisions? How exactly am I under him?

Maybe you don't understand my own definition of submission. It's a far cry from being an unheard slave who tolerates all kinds of cheating and abuse. It's about being firm and respectful to my husband.
Men are egoistic. You tell them what they want to hear, and they do whatever you want them to do. It's hardly rocket science

Egba girl: Right which is what stndpoint feminists want. I think you should embrace feminism (the type that you are) and educate others on what feminism is and the different types. Let's try and do away with the negative connotation attached to it. Women have been trampled upon too much and seen as 2nd class citizens.

I know my rights and I don't take bullcrap from anybody. I also try to educate other women to stand up for themselves and reject abuse(physical or emotional).

What I don't do is walk around with a chip on my shoulder, feeling that being a woman is the next big thing.

Men and women are different, there's nothing we can do about that.

fellis: Lo @ feminazists
Please I would like to know what you think the roles of men and women in the society are and why you think they should play those roles. Thanks!!!

Men are physically stronger than women, so its common sense that they'll do the most physically demanding jobs on earth. Men are also emotionally stronger, they handle heartbreaks, truama and tough situations better that women do. By defualt, this puts them as the head of the family. Men are most likely to earn more(there are some exceptions), and this makes them the bread winner of the family, with the wife helping out too.

Women are designed to be mothers and homemakers. That doesn't mean they should sit their lazy azzes at home without working. They have to work to support themselves mostly, and their husbands efforts. Women sholud do most of the house chores and cooking, with men helping out significantly etc.

Look, I know my husband is the head of the family and I'll never contest that. By being submissive and firm, I stand to gain a lot more. He's just the ceremonial head of the family. Subliminally, I'm the one runnig the show because he trusts me completely, he knows I respect him and that I have his best interest in mind. It's not rocket science really.

Egba girl: you can be a standpoint feminist (which is what I think you are anyway) because they do not disagree that men and women are fundamentally different. They only want women to be included and considered when decisions are made etc.

You pretty much descrbied my stand on this issue.

shymexx: Don't you think Nigeria needs a revolution? Nigeria needs a top-down change - to change the status quo, and save the future of our children...

I think Nigeria needs a Revolution like the French had in the 18th century. I also think that it aint gonna happen anytime soon.

So back to your logic. You think Nigeria needs a Revolution. But you think that women should be at the fore front of the said Revolution simply because feminists have been advocating for equal rights and justice. Let me play the Devil's advocate here a bit. If women are asking(key word being asking, not that its considered or granted) for the opportunity to enjoy the same rights that men have been enjoying since the begining of the world, why then should women and not men be at the fore front of this so called Revolution? Simply because they are asking for equal rights? Oh dear!!1

fellis: This topic isn't romantic now, shymmex. Why is it in romance section?

Anyway, your topic;

Feminism is basically a belief in the need to secure rights and opportunities for women equal to those of men, or a commitment to securing these rights. It can also mean a movement for women's rights and seeing that women's rights are equal to those of men.

Yes it is un-African.

Historcally, women have been considered to be inferior to men in Africa, seen as creatures that exist majorly to take care of the home front and to submit to whatever man she marries in order to be a good wife. There is no equality for women and men in majority of the African cultures.

Women are regarded as the weaker vessels that should be subjected/subjugated to whatever a man thinks is best for her. The man could be her father or husband, this man makes the final decision on how she lives her life.

There are many ways women suffer inequality in Africa, I don't understand why you'd still ask if feminism is un-African.

And, you mentioned that feminists are also involved in issues like poverty reduction, violence prevention and health and reproductive rights which affects African women worse than men, but then you added that these are bread and butter issues, meaning that you probably acknowledge that these issues are only secondary to the primary/major aim of feminism which is the establishment of a system where men and women have equal rights.

The fact that feminism also deals with these subsidiary matters that have nothing to do with ensuring equality does not change the fact that it is un-African.

So really are you for it or against it?

Yeah feminisim is un-African. But we all know that Africa is lacking behind the rest of the world in a lot ways. So ideally, we've seen how well the African mentality works in this 21st century. Excuse my sarcasm please!

What Revolution are you refering to if I may ask? And where exactly is ''the struggle to liberate Africa/Africans/African-minds from the perpetual servitude of neo-colonialists and their corrupt stooges holding the African continent down'' going on? I don't get it.

I'm for equal rights and all, but I'm not a feminazist. I know that each gender has its own role to play. Men and women are built differently. We aren't the same and we'll never be, no matter what the feminazists preach.

Mrs.Chima:
Where is that bald headed bastard...Marcanthon?

Chill gal, no fighting .

He's doing very fine by HIS grace.

ItsModella: yelz, count me in...bikini body? I believe my moniker says it all.

Ok then, will let you know when to provide your details so my agent can start processing your travel documents.

Stay tuned

Mrs.Chima:

Mynd_44: Nah I ain't interested

Sure about that?

mojounited: #thinking...

Think fast man, offer will soon expire.

ItsModella: The offer must include a five star hotel and a VIP tour around the South of France...how about that?

Shouldn't it include a 5* shopping spree at luxirious Parisian boutiques before we head down to the south?(ST Tropez or Nice) Kidding, kidding .

Ok you got it. We'll all stay at Ritz Carlton, that's a true 5*. They'll be fine dinning, premium alcohol and wine tasting. VIP tours too.

Just make sure you have a bikini body

deshclones: Nne tread with caution...dis is d same way sexkillz started...here is NL where most people live fake lives..thanx

Thanks for the heads up man. Yeah most people here are fake without a doubt, and I really don't care about them. But I like Mynd's orientation and I think he's real, no hard feelings.

Maybe it's because he sound's like someone dear to me.

Mynd_44: If you send tickets to some of us, we might just come and refuse to go back home. Like the cameroonians did in the last Olympics

Lol@the Camerounians. Some people will come back, and those that'll try to abscond will get their azzes deported.

The offer still stands tho. . .

Idowuogbo: Me!!!! Thank god tickets to ur side cheap pass Ijebu garri.

Go ask Air France. Naughty gal

Btw, where should I send your ticket to?

^^^What did you read?


Are you interested or not

Can we move the beach party to south of France please?

Bill's on me of course . All you need do is declare your interst and you are good!!!

Who's with meeeeeeeeeeeee?

Mynd_44: Why disturb yourself? Did you marry your wife cos you wanna spend the rest of your life with her or cos you wanted kids? Cos if you wanted kids, you could have stayed unmarried and had children. Adopt if you are so impatient

There's something about you that's really intriguing me lately. I hope you are truly a gentleman like you portray in your posts. Your wife will have a whole lotta fun.

iykrichie: Pls can someone help me with the travel/visa requirements to get to mexico. I already have a contact there in mexico.

Why don't you contact the Mexican Embassy in Nigeria? Just google it!!

ROSSIKE: You're an ignorant foool. How exactly is Mexico ''miles better than'' Nigeria? Is the Boko Haram crisis in Nigeria not limited to the north of the country? You know ''a couple of Nigerians'' doing well in Mexico. SO WHAT? Are there not millions of Nigerians doing well IN NIGERIA?? Anyone with a brain knows that both nations are developing countries, with very similar problems. None is ''miles better than'' the other. It is people like you with your deceitful claims that make Nigerians think their country is the worst place on earth only for them to go to these so called heavenly countries and waste away driving taxi or washing plates and too ashamed to return home for fear of being labelled failures! Next thing you know he's joining drug trade! Same thing happens in SA. Nigerians leave here and go to ''Eldorado'' SA and find there's nothing there for them. Next thing they're pimping hos and selling drugs on the street, rubbishing the country's image for nothing. I bet you if this guy spent half the energy and money he's using to go and languish in Mexico, on starting a business in Nigeria, he would live a far more fulfilled life here in Naija.

Ehmmm, Mexico is a thousand miles better than Nigeria. It's biggest problem is drug cartel wars which is mostly in the north . Mexico is a developing country by all standards, that shithole called Nigeria is 500 years behind a countries like France, USA, Netherlands, Canada, Germany, Switzerland etc. And it's not getting better anytime soon.

Mexico has a thriving tourist sector, with some of the best beaches in the world. Most Americans and some Europeans vacation in Cancun, Peurto Vallarta, Cozumel, Riveria Maya etc, and these areas are completely safe. It's also extremely rich in history and culture. Mexico has a bubbling economy, constant electricity, good roads and good health care system, hence why some Americans retire there.
And Mexico City is not even in the same league with Lagos or Abuja.

So tell me, how is Nigeria better than Mexico

Johndoe100: @OP
Take heart, you should know that in our culture you cannot own the man alone. He has married you and you are the "iya le" as the Yoruba call it I think. Turn your mind away from those kinds of things and love him for who he is. He still loves you. Be a good and loving wife, take care of him and your children and leave him to his "away games". You really can not stop them and they mean nothing, most likely.
I wish you the best.

Johndoe100: Don't you know these girls on this board? They are afraid of women like you. You represent what they can't have - happiness, stability and most importantly the love of a man. Look at the nonsense they preach. Pity them their pathetic lives and continue to give the true seekers your honest advise.

Buhahahahahahahaha. Oh my God, this is the funniest thing I've read in a while. You are kidding right



Apart from the risk of contacting STDs, how do these women who keep forgiving their cheating husbands live with themselves? Are they happy or dieing in silence? Do they still love their husbands like before? How do they still open up and make love to someone who disrespects them constantly? It baffles me!

Cheating is very wrong and unacceptable. It's a deliberate act of selfishness, and the height of disrespect. It should not be tolerated..