₦airaland Forum

Mynd_44: Excuse you

That was a compliiment.

fluid26: Oga Larry, you dey vex o! Lol!

Yes, as a matter of fiction, some actually live and breathe inside the world of Nairaland. Take Mynd for instance, he pokes his snout into almost every page...like a Vermin.
In the nights, Caracta, Ijebabe, ItsModella, UJ Sizzle...I see them flying around like bats. Gosh!

Caracta: *shocked*

You should be.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Jack Bauer got Helen Keller to talk.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
Let's get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you... well amigo, you're history.
Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer does not sleep. The only rest he needs is what he gets when he's knocked out or temporarily killed.
In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.
Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
As a child, Jack Bauer's first words were "There's no time!"
Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.
If you get 7 stars on your wanted level on Grand Theft Auto, Jack Bauer comes after you. You don't want to get 7 stars.
Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
Guns don't kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.
Losing a colleague or loved one for Jack Bauer is comparable to the feeling of missing the elevator for most people.
No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a wimp" in a sentence and lived to tell
Every time Jack Bauer yells "NOW!" at the end of a sentence, a terrorist dies.
When terrorists go to hell, if they say Jack Bauer sent them, they get a group discount.
seldomwrong..com/2006/01/fun-facts-about-jack-bauer.html
Rank Fact # of Votes Rating
1 Jack Bauer once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned. 259 8.21
2 The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives. 864 7.67
3 There are two hands that can beat a royal flush. Jack Bauer's right hand and Jack Bauer's left hand. 151 7.54
4 Jack Bauer was once charged with attempted murder in Los Angeles County, but the judge dropped all charges because Jack Bauer never "attempts" murder. 79 7.51
5 If Jack Bauer had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1". 110 7.48
6 If you are still verbally capable of telling Jack Bauer that he is hurting you, then trust me, he isn't. 59 7.47
7 It takes you 24 weeks just to watch what Jack Bauer does in a single day. 101 7.47
8 Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes. 178 7.45
9 Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon. 234 7.35
10 Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. 270 7.3
11 When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death. 322 7.26
12 Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt. 222 7.23
13 When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer. 254 7.15
14 Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was. 582 7.11
15 Jack Bauer once showed up late for work. CTU adjusted their clocks accordingly. 87 7.1
16 If Jack Bauer gives you his word that you'll get your deal, then he really means it. Unless you killed David Palmer. Then you're bleeped. 90 7.09
17 On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence. 218 7.09
18 Jack Bauer always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from Jack Bauer. 160 7.08
19 On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents. 185 7.06
20 There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them. 203 7.05
21 The only prerequisite to becoming a CTU security guard is being able to accept being rendered unconscious by Jack Bauer. 92 7.02
22 When Jack Bauer was told smiling increases your face value, he said not speaking increases your life span. 79 7.01
23 Jack Bauer doesn't laugh in the face of danger; Jack Bauer is the face of danger. 144 6.99
24 If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12". 1430 6.98
25 Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live. 222 6.98
26 If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. 4023 6.97
27 Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them." 611 6.97
28 Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off. 164 6.96
29 At Jack Bauer's funeral, there will be a eulogy, twenty-gun salute, and a squadron of F-14s flying over the procession. All of which will be performed by Jack Bauer. 85 6.94
30 When someone asked Jack Bauer if he was afraid of James Bond, he replied "What does 'afraid' mean?" 96 6.94
31 If Jack Bauer was president, he would protect the secret service. 155 6.92
32 Torturing terrorists is like riding a bike. Jack Bauer never forgets. 137 6.89
33 Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he's sitting in a wheel chair. 133 6.88
34 Jack Bauer once acted as judge, jury, and executioner; but to save time he now just acts as executioner. 95 6.87
35 If a suspect mentions your name, while being interrogated by Jack Bauer, you have a 3.26% chance of surviving the next 3 hours. 105 6.87
36 The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition. 313 6.85
37 When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload. 300 6.85
38 There is a deeper reason that Kim will not forgive Jack. For years during her birthday and Christmas when Kim would look for presents Jack would just laugh to himself before finally telling her, "I give you my word." 450 6.84
39 Jack Bauer broke into the Russian Consulate and got captured because he thought it would be fun to compare Russian prisons with Chinese prisons. 113 6.84
40 Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer. 2134 6.84
41 Jack Bauer doesn't have a refresh button on his web browser. All events take place in real time. 203 6.83
42 Jack Bauer's sperm come in 9mm, .40, and 12 gauge slug. 87 6.79
43 Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys. 3933 6.79
44 There have been no terrorist attacks in United States since Jack Bauer has appeared on television. 912 6.79
45 Jack once shot himeself 10 times, just to prove 50 cent is a bitch. He proceeded to wrestle and aligator while talking to Chloe about schematics. 317 6.79
46 Jack Bauer doesn't have a firewall on his PC. He has a Bauerwall. It's basically just a JPEG of Jack Bauer. No virus has ever attacked Jack Bauer's PC. Ever. 349 6.79
47 Jack Bauer is the only human in the world with the ability to make Chloe O'Brien drop the personality disorder and patch him through. 399 6.78
48 Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic. 317 6.78
49 Only Jack Bauer can singlehandedly start World War III between the Russians, Chinese and United States... over Audrey Raines. 71 6.77
50 Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. 860 6.77
51 Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man. 3653 6.77
52 Gredanko cut off his own arm rather than face Jack Bauer again. The fact speaks for itself. 91 6.76
53 Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist. He keeps it in a jar on his desk. 260 6.75
54 There's one only shift when Jack Bauer works for CTU: the graveyard shift. 137 6.74
55 You can tell how much Jack Bauer likes you by how far above your kneecap he shoots you. 90 6.74
56 The Berlin Wall fell because Jack Bauer needed to get to the other side. 256 6.74
57 Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Jack Bauer can kill 100% of whatever the Bleep he wants. 80 6.74
58 Jack Bauer can pronounce the name "Ahmed" however he fucking wants. 132 6.73
59 Backup calls for Jack Bauer. 99 6.73
60 When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back. 1777 6.73
61 ...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here." 250 6.72
62 If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef. 1785 6.72
63 Jack Bauer was nominated for an Emmy for playing Kiefer Sutherland. 121 6.72
64 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight. 3684 6.72
65 Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas. 3171 6.7
66 James Bond has a license to kill. Jack Bauer was his instructor. 145 6.69
67 Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun. 941 6.69
68 When Jack learned that Audrey was killed in a car accident in China, one billion asians crapped their pants. 95 6.68
69 Jack Bauer once went to the running of the bulls and chased the bulls. 65 6.68
70 When Jack Bauer says, "I don't know if I can do this anymore", the statement must be loosely translated as, "I can still rip off your head, I just don't know if I feel like I can shit down your neck at this time." 148 6.68
71 When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade. 3893 6.67
72 If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life. 3690 6.67
73 When Santa Claus asked Jack Bauer what he wanted for Christmas, he snapped his neck. No one interrogates Jack Bauer and gets away with it. 185 6.65
74 Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry. 420 6.65
75 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Jack Bauer would meanwhile do something important. 215 6.65
76 Jack Bauer let himself be drugged, beaten and captured inside a crate on a Chinese ship heading out of the USA with no way for help to find him. Now he has them right where we wants them. 367 6.65
77 Alex Trebek once asked Jack Bauer the question, "What's your idea of a perfect game show?" He replied with, "I'm the contestant and I ask the questions around here." Jeopardy was born at that moment. 83 6.64
78 If Jack Bauer needs backup, he looks in a mirror. 85 6.64
79 Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. 3003 6.64
80 Jack Bauer can torture you into giving up information you do not possess. 128 6.63
81 Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants. 302 6.63
82 My husband doesn't wish he was Jack Bauer. He wishes I was Jack Bauer. 357 6.63
83 If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it. 477 6.63
84 The state of California plans to reduce violent crime by changing the method of capital punishment from lethal injection to Jack Bauer. 597 6.62
85 Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you. 3282 6.62
86 After Season 6 of 24, the Chinese will be on the Endangered Species List. 255 6.62
87 Chained to a chair, tortured, and with the threat of death hanging over him, Jack just wanted something to eat. 170 6.61
88 Mission Impossible is just another way of saying Mission Without Jack Bauer. 108 6.61
89 It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Oh you are so screwed. 1144 6.61
90 On Jack's day off, he and Edgar would shoot hoops and get ice cream together. Later, they'd prank call Chloe, only to have her trace the call, call them back and tell them to "grow up". Good times... good times. 578 6.6
91 Jack Bauer thinks the word mercy just means "quick interrogation." 210 6.6
92 Jack Bauer arrested RoboCop. Think about that. 215 6.59
93 Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment. 410 6.57
94 Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first. 1042 6.57
95 At last years Christmas party, Jack Bauer brought the punch. Nobody survived. 127 6.57
96 Jack Bauer signs his autograph with bullets. So don't ask him to sign any part of your body. 140 6.56
97 When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out. 316 6.56
98 Jack doesn't believe in Murphy's Law, only Bauer's Law: "Whatever CAN go wrong, WILL be resolved in a period of 24 hours." 906 6.55
99 Bauer is not word, it is a sentence...A death sentence. 163 6.55
100 The only reason Jack gave Nina mouth to mouth in Season 2 was because he had to kill her himself.

notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

If you've watched 24 you'd know Jack Bauer, and if you know Jack Bauer you'd smile at these and want to add yours.
#TEAMJACKBAUER#

He who lives in Niger Delta does not speak Chinese.

If you dream and find yourself in a pool, that means you still bed-wet.

Caracta, Mynd, Ijebabe, ItsModella and a coven of other witches and wizards.

Decentdon: I hope not o,cos am sure God have answered my prayer

Well, One Tree Hill is great...no doubt about that.

@pretty:
Pray without ceasing less u fall in2 temptation.

Oh! You're one temptation ***praying***

Idowuogbo:

U go school?

Now, you're lucky not!

Decentdon: Lolz,I lyk chuck shaa bt because of Jamie,I pray to be a better father than Nathan and to have a better son than him

I know I'll be a better father, but if I ask for a better son, I think he'd turn a dummy.

Idowuogbo: Viewing this topic: eduson33(m), SeunPlus(f), tiarm, Lala_land(f), rimax, ebenezer4o2, byntwo, iyeachile (f), careytommy(m), big-t, never_say_never(m), jabanz, shakaz, ~Bluetooth,youngcizza, portbellohermit(m), onuwaje(m), uzoo(f), juwoonn, kels on point(m), Okworigeorge(m), LesbianBoy(m), cyrielo(m), anitank(f), skyfaze(m), Zi, bld taiwo(f), irpheezy(f), tode49, fredoooooo, Raxxye(m)



Una no go school?

You're lucky my name isn't there

There're some serious English teachers here, let me sit back and learn

Decentdon: My best is jamie scott

I've never met a more brilliant boy than Jamie...that friend of his is quite spooky.

You wanna see Adewale Akinnuoye Agbaje's (Mr. Eko's)Instruments? Watch OZ.

Do not begin to hope, guys. 24 ends at Season 8.

slimyem: God knows i can't watch Jumong.
Much as i tried,i couldn't finish chapter one of season one.
Don't like movies where i have to read subtitles!

I guess Reading isn't your strongest suit.

Josh090: Peyton is my favorite character.

My fav is Brook, among the ladies.

deeplow: GOD will kuku bless u for me.I thot I was the only one.I am not a big fan of lucas tho,I'd kill to spend a day with peyton sawyer.

Amen, and you too...Peyton went off too, like Lucas.

Josh090: This song is prolly d best tin in one tree hill....and those chics too , but I hate how slow d movie started, very boring in d beginning!
One tree hill is although the best love story seasonal movie.
P.s I don't get the rave about lucas though, he isn't all that!

I've loved Lucas from the start...though he went off at some point. After him, Dan Scott is my fav.

anitank: U know this!

I dined with Keifer Sutherland (Jack Bauer) last night.
Okay, that's a little bit of lie

Lachynos2k2: yattaa! reminds me hiro nakamura...i luv heroes bt 24 tops my list

Bless you, Hiro is my favourite...what they don't know is that T.Bag also stars in HEROES. 24 rules them all though.

Ms_Steph: Dey really picked d rite pple 4 dat series

I laughed so much that my belly ached...I'm still yet to watch the Season 7.

deeplow: I still can't believe nobody mentioned One Tree Hill.dats quite hard to take in.


Anyways,for me,it is a tie between One Tree Hill and Dawson's Creek.

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind (Gavin Degraw)
Team Lucas Scott!

ogochukwunasa1: if u enjoyed films like kyle xy' small ville' listeners etc and u av not watched ROSEWELL then u are realy missing big time' i place it above all other films'' i can watch it everyday of everyweek of everymonth and of every year
pls u guys shud also watch flashforward'''
grey anatomy is also cool

Oh, I am what I am...
I do want I want...
But I can't hide...

anitank: yes boss! if it's not guns and bullets, axes and swords,then that movie is so not getting my attention

And use of technology.