₦airaland Forum

@horny4u
That's very true. I know I don't go out enough. When I do go out, I get hit on. But I don't have a sister and my friends and cousins all live far off. I don't club or party. I'm not so so religious too. I'm an introvert. So most of the times, I'm just indoors.

Thanx at everyone who has sent me a word of advice, caution and encouragement. You are been too kind (including a certain someone moderating the phone section).

Tosin, maybe one of these days, we'll chat. I have some things doing at the moment. I can just peep in here and go back to what it is I'm doing.

Tellwisdom, what you believe doesn't define who I am. Believe whatever you like. If it's so hard for you to believe that there are girls not interested in the depth of your pockets, then good for you. That's the world you are probably used to.


I honestly feel better!!!

@all

Thank you. . .I'll be optimistic.

But I don't agree with the school of thought that says you are what you attract. Bad things happen to good people all the time and it's called life. The kids who are abused by pedophiles did not attract the evil. They were unlucky enough to be victims, is all!

@Nayah
I truly do not believe that.
My ex's girlfriend got pregnant for another dude after 8 years of dating. They broke up and we met and it was all good. Then when he got the job and became rich, he proceeded to visit all her sins on my head. You can't change a person. Only God can and that is if the man is of the will to change.
His mum was pushing for me to hurry up with school and get married. I didnt know they wanted us to get hooked before his real character will be shown!


@ all
If I was after money, I would be chilling in the golden cage my ex built. Because, in spite of his abusiveness, he was obsessed with me. Just that I couldn't go ahead with him.

So as you can see, a good character and a bright future speaketh more. Even if its a small house we have, we'll decorate it attractively and keep it neat.
I was watching medium TV's before flat screen came out, so if I don't have a flat screen now, will it kill me? If my man doesn't have a car now, don't I have two legs abi did walking ever kill anyone??

SMH

^^^
@Tosinville

I really feel hurt because so many people think its been choosey. While with my first love, I had this toaster who owned a petrol station tripping. Whenever I was in the supermarket, there he was also coming to do his shopping. But I never cheated because my boyfriend had done nothing to me and my conscience wouldn't allow that. I even sometimes feel if I had gone out with that guy, I would have been settled now. Instead, I went out with a corper who ended up dumping me cause he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. Though he acknowledged I didn't wrong him in any way!!
Was I been choosey?


With my ex, there was also this toaster who was tripping. I didn't even like him because he was always talking about his cars and his travels and his investments. I preferred my simple ex, till he got the multinational and became a monster!


Right from school, when my mates where buying cloths, I bought shares. Even though they are virtually worthless now, I have always been of the habit of having my own and being content with what I have.

^^Tosinville
Il think about it. . .

@decryptor
My ex was not good enough for me. Because I will not spend the rest of my life quaking in fear of the one supposed to be my protector. No thanks.

But I was content with my first love. I was so secure with him that for a year +, I wouldn't looked at another guy but at the end of the day, I was told stories!!!

Honestly, guys abound everywhere. But I want one that. . . .

@exponental.
Will be back to answer that. . .need to chow now

@iv4real
thanx hun

@blakjewelry

Thanx. . .

^^^Whats the sorry for.

@Decryptor
Ok, that was totally unnecessary. And you call yourself a good person. . . .


@Tosinville
Whatever. If thats how you feel!

[size=30pt]I'm not saying I can't get a man! But what I need is a good one! Do some of you have to insult a person's sensibilities? I've NEVER gone after a guy with money. My first love was a corper and he later decided he wasn't ready for a serious, steady relationship and wanted us to make it an open one. But I can't be somebody's option when I make them MY priority! So that was it!!! He later wanted to get back, but I didn't trust that he wasn't going to break my heart again!!!

My ex boyfriend, when I met him was a hustler, doing whatever legit business he could lay his hand on. Still in his momma's house, no steady income. But I admired the fact that he wasn't lazy and I truly loved him and he seemed to have a good heart which was very important to me and he came from a good family too. It was after 7 months of being together he got a multinational job. After that, he became something else and I was seeing a whole new person. Manipulative, controlling; a liar and abusive.When I was left him, he sent a substantial amount to my account, that he only wanted to do that out of his own love and free will. That after all, I was with him when he had nothing.

I refused the doe but he insisted. Three months after, he called me and asked me to return his money. I'm not a gold digger, my mother raised me WELLA, therefore the money was chilling in my account without a kobo missing and before he could say Jack Robinson, early in the morning I had sent his money back. He thought after three months I would have spent it!!! Money isn't important to me. I'm working on getting mine.


And I don't go round begging for BBs. My ex promised me a BB when he got the multinational, but he never bought it and I never asked him. He bought one for himself and I got a Nokia for myself when my old phone was acting up. I don't need a BB for now cause I feel it's for professionals. When I become one, I should be able to get it for myself. For now, all I need is a modem and a lappy. And thank God, I have those!!! 

So I'm not after big house and big car. Nothing new in those. Small house in a good, safe neighborhood beats big house in the bush any day!!! What will two people be doing in a mansion anyway Can I sleep in 5 bedrooms at once? Abi I can share myself to use ten baths?? Abegi!![/size]

^^^
ha ha! Funny!!!

^^^2buff
whatchu want a pic for??
My pic has nothin to do with the issue. . . .

@Tosinville
Too stubborn. And with all the gender wars always everywhere! Nigeria girls this today. Nigeria girls that tomorrow!

I'm serious when I say I don't want no bad guys. And a lot of nairaland guys seem to be that. . . .MOBO444 and co

@mashnino

ok o. I hear you!
Except my last trial got my fingers burnt. I really don't want to make the same mistake twice!!



@kemmeye
Was thinkin that too. But guys here are telling me something else. . . .

@Tosinville

Yeah, I know. But NL guys seem a handful.

@davidylan
Well, I don't knowingly go for bad guys.
However, being a quiet chick, I get attracted to outgoing guys. Except that counts as 'bad boy' in your book??


And I DO like nice guys. Like Snowdrops is one of my fave here, he's a nice guy!!!

He looks like a nerd in that pic with the gown. . .
Nyways, happy bdae! R231

^^^

Go on soun. I didn't come to NL to hook up. 

BTW who said u were one (a good guy)??

Dudes like that don't advertise. . . .

^^^

Whats with ur last sentence?? Men are everywhere. . .its getting a good one that counts.

Try and read novels too. . .they'd help you improve your English AND confidence level, k?


Maybe part of the problem is your language skillZ. You feel it's not too polished so you don't feel confident in using it??

Double

^^^

Hmmmn. . . .Tell me what makes you think you are one??
Just a question. . .

^^^
My list is not damned!

My list is ok. I don't have extra ordinary expectations

I dunno. . .it's so hard meeting a good, single guy nowadays. They seem to have been snapped all up.
Is it still possible to find a matured, working class, God fearing and decent guy who would still be single as in not have a girlfriend/wifey

My ex boyfriend was single when I met him. He was handsome, churchy and seemingly nice. I soon found out why he was still single though. . .he was extremelyly abusive. No wonder he wasn't hooked!! I was eating, yet losing so much weight. Anyways, not to divert the gist. . . .

I have guys asking me out BUT I SERIOUSLY DO NOT WANT TO EXPERIENCE WHAT I DID WITH MY EX!!

How can I tell who is who, cause I don't seem to get it right. Everything starts off nice then before you know it, everything goes downhill!

Where are the good guys?? Where dem dey Is there a way to tell how a guy would turn out before getting involved?? Are there any SINGLE good ones left out there for a woman deserving?? For a chick who truly understands how to treat a man??

I noticed he was gone too. . .where could he have disappeared to?

190, jor oh! Bomb blast ke Not that I miss him sha but I wouldnt wish 190 blown into 190 pieces. . .nobody deserves that!!

,

Some men want to kip their relationships on the downlow. Putting their relationship stat as 'single' on facebook while in a commited relationship. Is there anything wrong with that?

Thanks, agaba. I apreciate that. Check my original comment 2 u, I modified it. Thank you.

@agaba
Well, i lied because smtyms, truth hurts. I just wantd peace to reign, you know. I dont make lieing a habit.
The guy I called is just a friend and he got marrid to his girl a few days ago.
He calls guyfriends in my phone book to berate and threaten them, then lies that it must be someone else who did that. When I attended a wedding alone and got some pictures taken, on viewing them, i became scared when I saw that a guy was beside me in one of the pic. I hadnt noticd during the snapshot. I considered tearing it so that there won't be an interrogation; who is he? Did he attend with you? You're a liar! Getout!!
I later hid it, cos I really luked lovely and  I cherish pictures alot.
So you can see, its not been easy. Is that how I wil live my life?
I dont even see how he thinks I am cheating. My life consists of lectures, reading, market and so on. Any other hobby like strolling and movies, he bullied out of me. If I am visiting someone, he calls and insists on talking to the other person. He calls every morning to know my schedule and calls frequently to make sure nothing has changed. If I am doing something other than what I said I will be doing, a huge fight ensues.
If I make the mistake of calling him immediately after lectures, he doesn't mind timing me and the time it will take me to get to my hostel.
Anytime we are talking, he is listening to the background noises. God save me if there happens to be guy voices in my vicinity (maybe noisy male passersby). He has to ask 'who's that' and i'm like, how do I know who they are? They are just passing!
Kai, my eyes have seen! I pray for a man to love me. . .but this is something else!

I have my faults, yes. But I do try to be the best woman I can be. A grown man who would put me through all that is just not it. My parents are having their 30th this year, and in not one day has my dad ever called my mum abusive names. They have had huge fights when we the children have been scard of them breakin up. But not on one occasion has he ever beaten her. I am not apologising for anything. I am not a slut and I will not answer a name that is not my own.
I deserve a man that will treat me right, every human deserves that.

@nikky
Yeah, nobody believes its as bad as this because I have kept THE REALLY BAD BITS TO MYSELF. Do u freaking think my parents would believe a mere boyfriend ova me, puhleez!
Yeah, i lied 2 him that I was talking to my girlfrnd. Believe me, I have paid my dues for that lie if you were to weigh the insults I have gotten in exchange. WTF, U HAVE NEVER TOLD A LIE? IF U SAY THAT, THEN YOU ARE THE GREATEST LIAR OF ALL. If he had been approachable in the first place, I wouldn't have had to do what I did.
I am very much faithful, thank you very much. Which was why when my ex was travelling out of the country, we broke up so we could be free to date other people.
After wasting years on my ex, was I supposed to be 'jonsing', when a seemingly nice guy was asking me out? Just because I still hadnt forgotten my ex (which is only natural as ex was my first?)

@mrs kadry
Thank you so much, i got this (the answer for nikky).

@Mrs Kadry
The truth is that I was scared of what was going to happen if I didn't return the money.

@all
Thank u all so much. I really appreciate your time and all the advice everyone had to give. Those that had 'good' words and encouragement to give, I say thank you. I know some of you wish you could shake some sense into me! I wish I could shake sense into myself. But I promise to do something about what is happening. . .because I truly cannot endure a lifetime of what this man has shown this past year. . . .
And those who feel they could hurt me with cruel words, what can I say? Like I said, I wasn't even expecting kindness. . .after all, even my fiance that promised to love and cherish me has done worse. How much more mere strangers. . . .