₦airaland Forum

@cigar icon
Wow! Brings to mind what happened to the Aluu 4. Thank God for your life, my brother!
At least, you're alive to tell your side of the story.

As for the girl, she'll get hers. That was darn to wicked!!

^^^
Very true, debrief08. I can truly say it is well with my soul.

I am also happy happy I didn't end up with him.

I want to thank everybody: Madam Jenny, Ify, Dayo etc. who took the time out to help me in my time of need. God bless you all and I say this from the bottom of my heart.

Shortly after this thread, I decided to tell my family and friends what had been happening. My folks were livid with anger. My brothers were ready to handle him. Lol.

I ended the 'relationship' and never allowed the guy contact me again, though he has been trying.

Strange that this same guy who told me he was now a big boy that could get any girl is now grovelling, trying to get back in my good books.
I stopped accepting strange friendship requests on face book and thank God because he tried accessing me through them and failed woefully.

I will NEVER put myself in such a situation EVER again and this 2012, I really enjoyed taking myself out, going for weddings, going for evening dinners, taking long evening strolls, going for evening drama plays; small pleasures of life that I lost while dating that guy because I would be accused of cheating or accused of not staying indoors and walking around to attract other men.

I pursued my dreams with tenacity, expecting to resume a great job soon and right now, have 5 responsible guys seriously pursuing me for love and marriage, even after my ex implied I wouldn't get somebody like him again (well thank goodness they aren't like him in character).
I'm taking my time though before taking my decision on accepting one of them as I don't want to fall in the same ditch twice and any aunty or friend trying to hurry me is firmly but diplomatically set in place.
Some of the guys are friends who have known me for years, some are guys who have been observing me from a distance.

I really love myself now, warts and all and not to be cocky, I was pretty to begin with.
And I have decided never to place a fiance's happiness over mine. I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be treated right! My self esteem is high and achieving my dreams and only seeking validation from God and myself has really helped.

Once again, thank you all. I am indeed grateful and with God, things can only get better 2013!

@1st to comment, Liciase and mystic-girl.
Indeed at everybody on this thread, I empathize with you.

I have a few to share.
1. I was living with my grandmum and she accused me of stealing a huge sum of money from her and wanted me to go and swear. It was painful because I wasn't a thief. I was later vindicated and it took me a while to forgive her. I didn't feel loved living with her as she told me she couldn't trust me, that I wasn't her daughter.
It was like something died within me.

2. It was dating an abusive man. This guy humiliated me so much.

3. Losing my best friend in an accident few hours after we spoke. It was really bad.

Manipulative, abusive controllers tick me off. I'm normally very patient and understanding and I don't need your money. But don't take my quietness for stupidity and use the opportunity to try to abuse me physically, emotionally, verbally, psychologically or otherwise. Being there, done that and it doesn't end well. So at the first signs of any of that, I will just take that as my cue to leave in a dignified manner with my ears firmly locked against any plea for leniency. . . .It's case closed!

Yay! Bringing up old thread to break the boring monotony.
@OP
You're in bondage. Don't worry. When he starts beating you, use his money to clean your tears! Mu ha ha ha!

^^^
He already admitted that he has issues. He said even if he's rich, he still might not get a woman. And he said, girls have left him after seeing 'the real him'.

OP
What are those issues you have? Are you extremely controlling? Jealous? Elaborate please!!

I'm a babe, buh I could still answer. Most times, I strike conversations with strangers and then, we later end up as friends. Buh I sincerely can't think of a situation where a guy came up to me and asked me to be platonic friends.

^^
*rolls eyes*
here we go again!

I need to know how to get my romantic life on track because my gentle demeanour attracts all these people wanting to take advantage of me. How do I toughen up? How do I sift the wheat from the shaft? How do I make sure a guy truly loves me, so I don't just 'dash' myself out to another potential heart breaker?
These are questions that I need helpful answers to.
Tnx @ every1!

@ghboy
@2buff
it really happened and the girl involvd was the one who told. She was an OAU STUDENT. I cant begin to imagine what she went through. Its a very common occurence for guys to deal with visiting girls and thank God OP is putting it out for gullible girls to read and learn. There was an occasion when a guy even visited a girl to exchange novels with her and when she entered her room to get them, he followed and violated her.
You can't even trust friends because as an innocent, dewy faced, 15 year old, fresh out of a girl's only school, a 'friend' asked me to escort her to her friends house and instead led me to the house of a cultist who had been disturbing. I didnt realise what was happening. I was so young and naive! But thank God I met my towns guy at the house, who immediately and personally walked me back 2 school, after asking me incredulously: 'what are you doing HERE?'
Girls need to know these things.

OP

Don't be too hard on yourself, girl. U probably wanted a boyfriend, but that is not the way to go about it. Be very alert and careful.
What happened to you, is how many girls have been deflowered by total strangers. It is the oldest trick in the book. Visiting a guy should be done with absolute care, even a guy you have known for years. Like me, i made a new friend some months ago. We hung out in a sports arena (which I loved) and then he started troubling me about visiting him. I wondered what he had to say that had to be private. I declined.
I've even heard of a guy who forcefully kept a girl in his room, soaked all her cloths in water, deflowered and slept with her continuosly for 3 days. He only releasd her when he was tired.
You might not be so lucky next tym. You could get gang-banged or worse. All it takes is locking the door on you and putting on some loud music. Even the police will blame you.
Peace, am out!

@inki
Well, peeps think d date thingy is wrong, though i'd really like to go thru with it. Atleast, i have 2 dates lined up now (dsense included).
@afro
lol. Thanx. But I dont want him back. He had his chance and he blew it, and my legs are locked safely from all and sundry
@comotdere
Pls, what are the repercussions you're forseeing?
@iice
You're right that I'm still having issues regarding him. Its not love I feel, just that he cut off from me so suddenly when we never even had an argument. I never had closure from the guy. . . .

^
Well, doesn't seem like a gr8 idea

@all
Thanx all. Yeah, being single is not a crime.
I get you. Well, its not like I planned to introduce the guy as my BF or anything. That would be disrespectful to his woman.
I would only have introduced him as 'a friend' and leave the rest to people's imagination.
Maybe I seem so vain. But I know my ex, he's so vindictive that he'l probably push his g/friend into my nose if was possible.
My idea was more lyk: a cool guy to accompany, and make me look less alone?
But nobody being in support of this idea, makes it less attractive. . . .

.

They should bring back, days when music videos had a story and made plenty sense!!

Honestly I want to say a big thank you to everybody. I feel so much better already!! I never expected so much support and encouragement, I'm blown away and today, I'm happy to be a member of this forum!

Anybody who wants to get in touch can do that thru this mail
lashawn880@gmail.com

I won't be posting my picture here. That's TMI IMHO. lol.

@Long one. . .I believe you won't be left behind

@Pendo89
hmmmn. . .interesting! Thanx so much, dearie. I really appreciate.

@Mauri

thanx dear!!


@citi us

hmmmn, we'll see about that. . . .

So you're saying you fit into what I listed??

^^^
What woman wouldn't want one in her life. . . ? You know your partner determines the quality of the rest of your life!! So I'm both curious, then I'll use tips from here and snag one for myself before it gets out of stock!!

@Long one
So I'm not alone in this??


@cito us
Lemme see. . .
Isn't that supposed to be the same thing??

@Pendo89
Maybe I am  


No, I don't mean that kinda guy. I mean a man who loves God, is smart, intelligent, well spoken, clean, has values, is confident, isn't playing me around, and is humble (it takes a strong man to remain humble). A man who won't take advantage of my calmness like my ex did.

Also, I have dreams and please, such a man shouldn't stop me from achieving them if those dreams won't be detrimental to our family.

Thank you, hon Sule. I really appreciate everything!!

^^^
Yes, I want an outgoing guy cause I'm very introverted and quiet. But thank you, I don't want the loud, lousy guy claiming to be badt! I don't party, I don't drink or smoke and those vices don't attract me.

My favorite places to hang out is the pool, beach or at the movies. Or just indoors talking and cuddled up and seeing a movie. Or strolling late evening tucked under his arm. Or traveling to see new places, culture and food cause I love nature. I love music too.

I don't like loud parties, loud guys or anything. As you can see, I'm not the stereotype!!

^^thank you, Obowunmi.
I hear you. I do have a problem with forgiving people who've hurt me. Not that I'll hurt them back or anything, but I just have a hard time letting go of past hurts! I've been trying to work on that for a while now!!


@God2man, Thanx. . . .I appreciate that!

^^^Thanx @ horny4u

@obowunmi
I truly want to keep things anonymous. I only opened up here on this open forum cause I could do that incognito. With all the age and location question, someone could put two and two together. My senior ones visit here too. And a good number of my friends.

@obowunmi, I'm in my 20s.