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TravelRe: Think You Know Lagos Well Enough? by Lazyreporta(op): 3:36pm On Mar 13, 2016
oluwafreshkid:
But you're a lazyreporta!
Be an active reader
TravelRe: Think You Know Lagos Well Enough? by Lazyreporta(op): 10:38am On Mar 13, 2016
Silkmoth33:
Summarize this thing joor! :-/
Don't be a lazy reader, boss
TravelThink You Know Lagos Well Enough? by Lazyreporta(op): 10:31am On Mar 13, 2016
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.

The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.

The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.

The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.

The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
1

The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly. Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.

Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba

Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.

Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.

There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. 3Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.

Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.

Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.

Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.index

On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance. Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.

This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.

Source... http://lazyreporta.com/1940-2/

Cc: Lalasticlala
Cc: Seun
Cc: DisGuy
Cc: justwise

PoliticsWorkers Protest Bring Port Activities To A Standstill by Lazyreporta(op): 2:34pm On Mar 11, 2016
Activities at the Apapa Port complex was temporarily paralyzed, Friday, when port workers embarked on a peaceful protest over the decision of the Nigerian Ports Authority (NPA) to shut out on-board security men and tally clerks.
The placard-carrying protesters sang through the streets around the port complex before registering their grievances with officials of the port authority.
Some of the protesters who spoke with reporters reiterated the importance of on-board security men, saying they have contributed in preventing unscrupulous importers from under declaring their cargo, and also prevented the importation of arms and other prohibited goods.


Source... http://lazyreporta.com/workers-protest-bring-port-activities-standstill/

Mynd44

BusinessAt The Close Of Business Today… by Lazyreporta(op): 7:35pm On Mar 10, 2016
At the close of trading today, the Nigerian All Share Index (ASI) stood at 25,923.77. Total volume traded stood at 310,654,506.00, in a total of more than 3,010.00 deals, valued at 1,354,244,738.19. Market Capitalization stood at over 8,917,295,048,388.58.

The day’s top gainers were:

Symbol Last Current Close
DANGCEM 164 165.01 1.01
FLOURMILL 17.51 18.38 0.87
OANDO 4.44 4.86 0.42
PZ 24.7 25 0.3
DANGSUGAR 5.75 5.98 0.23
Top losers were:

Symbol Last Current Close
NESTLE 715 700 -15
BETAGLAS 47.5 45.5 -2
GUINESS 114 113 -1
INTBREW 19.05 18.5 -0.55
NB 97 96.5 -0.5


The day’s top traders were:

Symbol Volume Value
FIDELITYBK 112,424,441 129,463,993.06
FCMB 34,136,664 28,454,322.53
ZENITHBANK 30,188,621 374,053,177.74
GUARANTY 18,583,965 303,176,725.96
FBNH 16,543,388 61,269,577.96

CelebritiesRe: An Oscar For Leo!!! by Lazyreporta(op): 8:54am On Feb 29, 2016
MissyB3 , ijebabe , Fynestboi )
CelebritiesAn Oscar For Leo!!! by Lazyreporta(op): 8:51am On Feb 29, 2016
The wait is finally over. Leo has an Oscar! The star of “The Revenant” has had one of his most elusive dreams come true. He shared the stage with some of the greats in movie making and his words were riveting.



All eyes were on Leo and he enthralled his audience with something as simple as “Climate change is real. Let us not take this planet for granted, I do not take tonight for granted.” That’s like saying “let us not take the heat in Lagos for granted. Fashola had better done something about power fast.”



Leonardo DiCaprio missed the best group photo ops (Best Picture for 2015), but he got a personal best (Best Actor for 2015).

Source....http://lazyreporta.com/1802-2/

RomanceRe: Ten Reasons Why Cuddling Is Medicinal by Lazyreporta(op): 8:33pm On Feb 28, 2016
Rocktation , farano)
RomanceRe: Ten Reasons Why Cuddling Is Medicinal by Lazyreporta(op): 8:21pm On Feb 28, 2016
RomanceRe: Ten Reasons Why Cuddling Is Medicinal by Lazyreporta(op): 8:20pm On Feb 28, 2016
domopps:
You can say that again..........


So on point!





Cheeeeeeers
Thanks
RomanceTen Reasons Why Cuddling Is Medicinal by Lazyreporta(op): 8:06pm On Feb 28, 2016
Cuddling (or snuggling) is one of the most beautiful things to share with your significant other half. It has a lot of health benefits most people don’t know about.

To cuddle, refers to the act of holding someone or something in your arms in order to show affection. Cuddling also refers to the act of lying or sitting close together. For the most part, cuddling can take place when two individuals who share certain affections just lazy about, reveling in each other's presence, while sharing intimate conversation.
The health benefits of engaging in this type of activity are as listed below:

1. Cuddling gives satisfaction to partners. Doctors have proven that couples who cuddle and spend more time together are more satisfied with their relationships than those who don’t. Making out time to stay close to your partner ensures a better lifestyle for both of you.

2. It gives you better sleep. Cuddling reduces the level of Cortisol, which is a stress releasing hormone and leads to better sleep. By releasing more Oxytosin and decreasing Cortisol, couples who cuddle end up being more happy and healthy in the long run, compared to the couples who don’t.

3. It gives a better feeling in the morning. After a cuddle-filled sleep, couples often wake up happy and fresh, looking forward to good day ahead. Waking up in the arms of your partner is definitively the most soothing and happy feeling in the world.

4. It reduces high blood pressure.
According to many therapists, cuddling reduces blood pressure by a huge amount. A stable blood pressure means less depression and lower chances of headaches and other ailments.

5. It is a stress relieving medication. As explained earlier, cuddling releases Oxytocin. This helps a great deal in removing stress-induced depressants, thus reducing the chances of a heart attack or an off-the-chart BP reading.

6. It helps you make up for lost time. Modern couples live a work-filled life. Cuddling after a hard day's work may be a way of letting each other know that though you were apart, you never lost touch. When you’re in the arms of your lover sharing the ups and downs of your day, the level of comfort you get is inestimable.

7. It helps improve communication between partners. Cuddling creates a new form of intimate communication. According to the famous therapist, David Klow, cuddling is a way of saying, "I know how you feel.” It adds a lot of new feelings in couples, helping them express their love for each other without saying the words.

8. It reduces addiction. Cuddling is said to relieve people of their addictive cravings. When addictions shift from smoking and other bad habits to the habitual need of being in the arms of your lover, life gets so much better.

9. Cuddling extends the life of your relationship. Studies have shown that couples who stay longer together are those who cuddle on a regular basis. Couples with no intention of keeping it exclusive between them or going long-term don’t tend to cuddle so much.

10. Cuddling creates better pre-intimacy. Cuddling helps in the exchange of trust and companionship. A constant build up of trust enhances pre-intimacy and intimacy. This leads to longer lasting relationships.

Cuddling is a free gift of nature and it helps you stay healthy and happy. Learn to cuddle more.


Source... http://lazyreporta.com/ten-reasons-why-cuddling-is-medicinal/

CrimeRe: I Kidnap People To Raise Money For My Girlfriend’s Bride Price – Suspect (photo) by Lazyreporta(m): 9:00am On Feb 27, 2016
Ok




I was here





www.lazyreporta.com
PoliticsSlowly, Jonathan’s Name Enters Dasukigate by Lazyreporta(op): 8:48am On Feb 27, 2016
The name of the former President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, is slowly but steadily being dragged into the $2.1bn arms scandal.

At the resumption of trial of Olisa Metuh, PDP spokesman, at the FCT High Court, government witnesses told the court that Metuh tore the statement he voluntarily made to the EFCC because he felt he had revealed to much and in the process, dragged the name of the former President into the arms deal saga.

Metuh, who is standing trial before the FCT High Court, was slammed with a three count charge of obstructing justice and destruction of government property.

Recall that Olisa Metuh was arrested by the EFCC on Tuesday January 5, following allegations that he received N1.4bn meant for the purchase of arms. During interrogation, Metuh was alleged to have torn his confessional statement, following which he was charged to court for destruction of government property.

Source.....http://lazyreporta.com/1768-2/

WebmastersRe: Submit Your Website Url For Review, And Get Good Backlinks And Traffic by Lazyreporta(m): 7:56am On Feb 27, 2016
Kindas3325:
Good design but what is the francais lang at the footer of the blog
It came with the theme And I have been trying to remove it o But can't bro...
Can you help?
Thanks
Nairaland GeneralRe: ATTENTION " Anyone Knows This Woman? She Was Found On The Streets Of Lagos (pic) by Lazyreporta(m): 3:38am On Feb 27, 2016
God save her.. Amen







Www.lazyreporta.com
WebmastersRe: Nigeria Bloggers Forumn On Whatsapp by Lazyreporta(m): 9:00pm On Feb 26, 2016
Bolajiblog:
Hi bloggers in the house, a forumn has been created on whatsapp just for you people...and you alone...this group z strictly for blogger i.e u must ve a blog b4 u can join. So to join u drop ur full name, the name of ur blog, your state and your phone number. Thanks and see u soon.
add on 07030407370

www.lazyreporta.com
WebmastersRe: Submit Your Website Url For Review, And Get Good Backlinks And Traffic by Lazyreporta(m): 8:58pm On Feb 26, 2016
WebmastersRe: I Want To Feature Experienced Bloggers On My Blog. Drop Your URL! by Lazyreporta(m): 8:56pm On Feb 26, 2016
emmalexdboy:
I know there are many lazy bloggers in Nigeria especially in the entertainment niche. But, since I started my blog I've come across some serious and committed individuals who are willing to help readers of their blog.

I'm certain some abound here on NL. I intend to write a post on my blog where I'll feature various bloggers in different niches.

So if you know you deserve to be on that list, kindly drop a link to your blog stating your niche and a little description about your blog.

I'll check it out to see things for myself.
www.lazyreporta.com

for daily trending news
Web MarketRe: [ONLY] Bloggers With Less Than 15,000 Views? Daily Add Ur URL Let Me Help by Lazyreporta(m): 8:48pm On Feb 26, 2016
nagidarabani:
Pages Pinged and You just received over 300 Back Links

ADVICE

Please Don't get Discouraged Pick the Blogging Challenge and Work on the following
1. You need a .com domain very vital.... i can get you one for just 3k But this is not the most important for now though very very important
2. Bog Theme>> You need a theme the current outlook may never get you to high traffic. readers need you to thrill them with a nice theme, good colors and good decoration. Pls contact me private on this
3. Content: I only pinged your site because i promised you guys. Your site is hungry for content. Just do more post and keep focus. The secret is that Google and other need you to bombard them with content and many words post. so that when people search they can come to your site.
4. Blog Navigation: No Navigation system, add a pretty Bar so people can easily enjoy swinging in and out of any pagees Just go to www.helplogger.com and get the codes and add to your site there you wil find more than enough resources to help you on all i have highlighted today.
5. Always Post comments new post on my blog www.applygist.com and neatly add ur url this will help you grab some visitors from my site
6. Finally because of time pls you need a Site Map, Contact, About Us, Private Policy>>> go and do the Above and Let me know for further assistance for traffic

Thanks:
Pls also Like my Blog Facebook page and post comments on my blog
p;s,help check mine and help with traffic bro..
thanks
PoliticsRe: Why Olisa Metuh Tore His Statement – EFCC by Lazyreporta(m): 8:38pm On Feb 26, 2016
PoliticsRe: Election Petitions: Supreme Court Criticises INEC For Partisan Role by Lazyreporta(m): 8:37pm On Feb 26, 2016

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