₦airaland Forum

Over to the Nairaland Association of Financial Analysts and Business speculators to start their talk as usual.
This one don pass me.

This is what many people eat everyday.
At least there are obvious signs of decay on this particular one. Most still look fresh but are very bad.

I no longer eat junks again sha.
Na the normal traditional foods be my forte now.
Health is wealth.

Before you travel, nack moderate amount of akpu or Eba so all these junks no go hungry you chop.
I said moderate make shit no go hook you inside bus.

[i][/i]

troublemakea:
This doesn't look like University of ibadan vicinity

Op tell us the name of the Eastern state where this happened

Thenationonline.net is a credible source bro.
But I thought these things only happen in seasonal movies.
The more reason I can't live in sparsely populated areas with bushes here and there.

yaksdavirus:
Can someone please summarise the bruhaha above. They are un-comprehendible

The welfare of the child comes before your religious beliefs.
The child may later grow to disregard such beliefs and in a situation where the child is unable to make his personal decision, the state decides what is best for him: not his parents and definitely not a religious sect.

I don try.

Determination that comes with discipline and sacrifice.
Some would have taken the easy way out - suicide.

I'm happy for him.

pagorino:
I just got an invite from CF lead. Please I just wanna know about this organization. I was scheduled for a workshop/interview tomorrow. Is it worth going or na scam?

When you see CF Lead or CF Global, pls run for your life ooo.
It's a big scam.

And all this power games is all for what?!

Jiang:
My brother, you can't loose 4% of shares in ur company that even you don't own up to 50% of shares & not see it as a big deal. the dude owns about $137 billion, of course he will surely feel it down to his bones when $35 billion disappears over night.

Yes, he is looking for NGOs but not to dash them $35 billion

You're right tho'.
I remember when that whistleblower who exposed the $43m IkoyiGate fraud was demanding for his cut. The ministry of finance was of the opinion that he would not be given everything at once so he would not faint!

Jiang:
Whatever happens I will never agree to a court marriage & if I do, I will make sure to include a clause where my wife will never be eligible for any portion of my wealth Incase of divorce.



How would I surfer to make money & she go just carry to enjoy with her new fuvck toy.

The white man is Just crazy!!!

Bros, but BEZOZ no see am as big deal ooo.
The last time I checked, he was even looking for genuine NGOs and charity organisation To Help.
Money no be hin problem. Most of them don't even see it as a big deal.
Poverty ti ya were gan

I don't even know what to say. Abi what opinion does a broke ass, Third World citizen has to give?

I know some Narcissistic, frustrated, bitter and broke men will become financial analysts and women bashers. Make una continue. I no even get strength to argue sef.

No be even dat one dey do me sef. Na that building wey I dey see dey worry me. Na hin be say if I manage smuggle myself enter US, I go dey get neck problem be that ooo. Chai! Beautiful, Tall, historical and monumental structures. Na wa ooo.

Na Taraba state chapter na.

Good for him.
He's probably not thinking of returning to China anytime soon where he'll be quarantined and forced to renounce his new found faith.

The religious world comprising mainly Christians, Muslims and Catholic will thank the Chinese for choosing to remain on the side of logic and common sense later in the future ages, when it might have destroyed itself in many 'unholy' wars.

Unnecessary flaunting of wealth seem to be the bane of the average Nigerian. Ask the young man on the street why he wants to have money so badly. He'll probably go like "I want my enemies to see that they can't stop me" or something like that. No real purpose just the money to intimidate friends, family and foe. Or just to earn respect from your mates.
I just hope she's able to manage her new found wealth or it would just vanish unexplainably in her bid to upgrade herself.

You are in a thick forest and it is very very dark, even in the daytime. You can't even see the person by your side. And you don't even have a lamp or anything that can help you navigate your path. That is Nigeria for you.
Finding a solution to Nigeria's multidimensional problems is also another big problem itself. It's either we disintegrate or we are rediscovered (recolonised) . Otherwise, our suffering continues. We are used to it afterall!

Who do you dis tin??

Pls does anyone have an encounter with medplus pharmacy? I just got a message from them inviting me for an interview. I would like you to share them with me here and now. Thanks.
The message:
"You are invited for an interview at Medplus Pharmacy (45, Saka Tinubu Street, VI Lagos) on Friday (8th March 2019) by 9am prompt"

Chikpat:
I love your narrative. Though Ebora is an idol, Jagaban will conquer Ebora in Ogun state and even in Adamawa state

Thanks for the compliment.
As for the outcome, let's wait and see.

davis51:
Shi be na tomoro make we see weytin go happen

Yes o. Make we rest small.

The godfather had a grand plan in 2015 after his party won the presidential election. He had hoped that the president-elect would die in office, giving way to the vice president, who was his stooge, to become president. That would make him (the godfather) the de facto leader of the nation.
But things didn't go quite as planned. The president fell sick and for many months, he was bedridden. Fortunately for him, he didn't go to Saudi Arabia for treatment like one of his predecessors. Instead, he went to the UK where he received the best medical care available. He recovered remarkably and has been in his home country ever since.
Now the cabal surrounding the president, sensing the hands of the godfather in the president's travail resolved to checkmate his plans by eliminating his puppet, the vice president who has, so far, managed to escape two similar air mishap. If his party goes ahead to win the election, he may not be safe as the cabal will try to even the scores should anything happen to the president.
They call the Godfather THE JAGABAN
* * * * * * *
In the most prominent opposition party also exist another godfather who is bitterly opposed to the ruling party, after supporting them in 2015 to conquer the former president, a former stooge of his who had become uncontrollable and disloyal to him. Now he is rooting for a man he once denounced and demonised to become president. A man he vowed never to forgive.

Now the vice presidential candidate is from a region where it widely rumoured that they will never produce the country's president in any circumstance.
The presidential candidate has pledged to serve for only one term (4 years) and then hand over to his Vice.
However, there are rumours that even he is also sick having gone on unannounced trips to Dubai. His supporters say he was only going to 'polish' his party's manifesto.
Maybe, JUST MAYBE, the godfather expects him to die in office, should he win, so that power will be constitutionally handed over to the vice president.

This will put to rest the myth and fable that a certain region will not produce Nigeria's president, crown the godfather as the ultimate kingmaker and as a man who doesn't really forgive his enemies after all.

They call the godfather THE EBORA OF OWU
* * * * * * *
The godfather in the opposition party once referred to the one in the ruling party as "one who had no well defined role in his party." The latter responded by calling him "an expired milk fit only for the dustbin."
Tomorrow is election day, and it will be the BATTLE OF THE GODFATHERS.

deboysben:
The most foolish and useless governor ever in the history of Nigeria is ambode

Coward and fat fool

Impeach that Bizaga and humiliate him out of that government house

Trust me guys, he's not a fool. He knows what's up so he's carrying his cross. Someone said 'he should use power of incumbency', lol.... if dem assassinate am ko?
Remember Funsho Williams. Nothing will happen. They will still rig the election and announce a close result to make it look like PDP tried. And life will go on.

Listen up guys. That touch.nimc shit is a scam.
Your card is never ready with that stuff.
Even if you type 'GOAT' as your first name, and any random 6 numbers as your pin, na still 'not ready' dem go tell u. If you know, you know. Try it.

Seandisputed:
Who no go no go know

I served in Anambra state, during our 3 weeks mandatory orientation programme last year, a married woman was caught having sex with a guy in the camp, her husband was called upon to come take his wife ( the guilty parties were expelled from camp), the husband came around and was told what happened, he gave the woman the ring and drove off considering the fact that it's not been long they got married. Another friend of mine took off her wedding ring 3 days into the programme just to frolic around.

Had an experience at my PPA where i met a fellow corper for the first time when i went to visit a friend at her lodge and we made out, this happened for some time until i found out almost every Nigga bleeped her. I just had to keep my distance.

NYSC is just another Sodom and Gomorrah

You Were obviously in Batch B Stream 2 2017.
I lie??

On the national level, more Yorubas support pdp than even the Igbos, most of which are not armed with PVC.
Just that on the local (state) level, I don't see PDP winning any state in the south west. So I don't understand the name calling by some Igbos on Nairaland.
FYI I'm Yoruba to the core. PDP supporter on the national level, APC on the local level.

Elxandre:
You sabi the guy?
Who is he Please?

That's Trevor Noah of Comedy Central.

I still insist Mourinho no longer have the kind of players that make him special.
Football has changed. Penalties and punishment are the order of the day and players only play for the money.

Imagine Mourinho in his first stint at Chelsea. At Inter and Real Madrid. Those players he had then were ready to die for him if need be. They struck fear into their opponents hearts.
Even Stoke City players will be scared of having various degrees of injuries when they play Chelsea. Not the gay looking fashionistas that go down under the slightest challenge we have no in football e.g. Hazard Neymar Morata and Co.

Ijaya123:
China doesn’t go into any venture where they are not sure of making money.

It is all about national interest first, not for the admiration or respect for Nigerian artistes

What about the abnormal wages they pay foreign footballers??
Methinks they are just trying to spend money since theyve made excess. If they see any profit, all well and good. If not, nothing spoil.
Even Jeff Bezoz is looking for charity organisations to empower to prevent himself from getting richer lol.
Maybe making a lot of money without spending much is like standing on one leg.
China is trying to increase its import rate. There's a reason America is still the largest economy in the world. They are standing on both feet.
.

I and many of my friends from different tribes drank from this pot that year after 'catch and play' 'police and thief' soccer and many other fun games.

It was really a pleasant experience.
People who didnt live in the rural areas at any point in their live cannot relate.

Abfinest007:
mourihno is a special troublemaker.guadiolla has made d special one to keep quiet

He no get players wey craze for head na why he just mellow down. If not.... Na fight for every derby ni o

I never looked forward to the next classico when Mourinho left Real.

Walahi we men Don suffer finish.

*DAILY CORRUPTION IN NIGERIA COURT*

*How much did u do your affidavit?*

*FANTASTICALLY CORRUPT COURT OFFICERS RIPPING OFF NIGERIANS DAILY.*

PLS READ THIS STORY TO THE END.

I travelled out of my state of residence to do a transaction on behalf of a client. Things went relatively well until I needed to take out an affidavit in court as one of the final stages of the transaction.

So I walked into this court, a federal high court, to do the affidavit. I had in mind that a day earlier , someone had told me in my office how she spent #4 000 to do an affidavit in court. I was furious . I know that only #100 of that #4 000 will go to government purse , the rest will go to some thieves who pose as government workers.

So I stepped into this court wishing that the thieves would try to play pranks on me. I file affidavit regularly in court but I have never experienced such extortion. May be it is because the court workers in my town of residence know me to be a lawyer. May be now that I am out of jurisdiction and dressed casually, the ones here will try to play a fast one on me. Just May be.

So In the court, I was directed to a certain lady. It Seems she is always the first contact person in this web of extortion. I entered the room. She asked me to sit. She was attending to someone, a captive I should say . The man was begging that he did not come with 4k, but the lady would have none of that. She asked the guy to go and come back complete. I was eavesdropping. The guy had just lost his certificate and wanted to make an affidavit to that effect. This is what is supposed to cost him N100. The guy even begged to pay N1000. But she refused. She insisted on the "full price".. In the end, the guy left to use Atm and come back. I was next in line!

I hold the belief that even if one should extort me, it should not be in court. The very thought of being extorted by a non- Lawyer in court is annoying to me. It is like a civilian slapping a Soldier in the barracks! If you must slap a soldier, must you do it in the barracks ?

So I took my turn in front of her. 'What do you want to do, sir? She asked.' Affidavit, of course, I replied. She asked what type of affidavit , bringing out a plain sheet of paper and pen, with an air of fake seriousness. She said she needed to know the type of affidavit because they will help me to type it.

At that point, I brought out a copy of the affidavit as typed by my secretary a day before I traveled. I told her that all I needed was to make the oath before a Commissioner for that purpose. Seems she was taken aback. Seems see didn't expect me to come with my affidavit already written and typed out. She excused me and left with the document. I guess she went to consult with her superiors.

She did not stay too long.

'sir, are you a Barrister'?
'Yes, does it matter'?
'I mean a real Barrister '?
Silence.
' sir are you based here in town '?
Silence.
' Sir'?

I think she wondered if I was really a lawyer as they have not seen me in their court before . May be her superior had suggested that I just claimed to be a lawyer in the affidavit just to evade their extortion.

I told her to go straight to the point. That I still needed to travel back. I told her to show me where to pay and get the oath Commissioner's stamp. At that point, she cut a piece of paper and wrote on it. She signed a complicated signature. She made the stealing to seem official. Unlike how she handled the guy before me, she didn't say a word about the amount I was to pay. She could not speak to me about it . She wrote it down and signed and then showed me where to take it to.

So I took it to whom I was directed. The man took the piece of paper from me and studied it as if it was a graph or some complicated map . Then,as if he had suddenly deciphered a hidden code, he said out loud : 'two thousand'. I paid the two thousand Naira and waited. The man stamped on the document and wrote on it with red ink. I noticed that he did not write the amount received by the Court on behalf of government, as is the custom. He directed me back to the lady who sent me to him . He said she is the one to take me to the Commissioner for oaths .

I was irritated by the unnecessary back and forth, but I was determined to see the end of it .

After the Commissioner had put his stamp on the affidavit, I went straight back to the guy who took 2k from me and demanded a receipt. He looked lost when he saw me again.

He said they don't give receipts. I said its not possible for the federal government of Nigeria to take #2000 from me and not give any evidence of payment. He then said their receipt has finished. I told him to use his red pen and write 2000 on the affidavit. He Shrunk his shoulders, as if to say 'God forbid'.

I told him, Point blank, that he has trouble on his hands. That he should not think that I will leave without evidence of payment. That if he can not handle it he should bring in his superior. I threatened to go to the court Registrar if he continues to waste my time. It Seems the mention of the Registrar was frightening to him. He said to me 'please sit down' and stepped out, running.

He returned with a woman I presume is his unit head, a woman in her late forties by my estimation. She asked what was the problem. I told her there was no problem. That I am surprised the guy brought her. That all I want is receipt or some evidence of payment.

She said that their receipt has finished. She brought out a big book and said they enter all the payment entries made by everyone and at the end of the day, they issue one receipt!

Hear lie. One receipt to whom? She did not even seem like an intelligent thief to me. Seeing that her explanation meant nothing to me, she collected the affidavit from me and looked. The next thing I heard was :

'who typed it? Who asked you to type it?'
She said they will give me my money back and take 'their affidavit'. That I should go elsewhere and make the oath.

At this point, I lost my patience and temper. It became clear to me that I was dealing with an ignorant crook. Who told her that she had the power to stop me from doing the affidavit? Who told her that private affidavits must be typed by the Court. I mean she made it so clear with her actions that she is fantastically corrupt.

I stepped out of their office and headed to the Registrar's office. They started pleading. The guy who took the money started running helter skelter.

He took me to the office of another oga. The oga was polite. Cool office. He took the affidavit document from me and read. He screamed : 'did they not even read this thing to see that this man is a lawyer'? He stormed out and left me alone in the office.

It became clear to me that the oga was not necessarily angry at what they did. He was angry that they did it to a lawyer. He felt they were daft to do so to a lawyer. They should have done it only to other members of the public. They should have known that a lawyer is "bad market".

The oga returned with the woman and asked her to apologise for saying I should get my #2000 and go elsewhere to do the oath. She did. And I accepted the apology.

The oga thought that was all. He looked happy, as if everything has been settled. As if he had just resolved a conflict between Iraq and Kuwait. I brought him back to reality by saying that I am still waiting for receipt. You can't extort me and apologise and bid me farewell, without a refund.

At that point, he asked the lady to excuse us. As soon as the room had only Me and him, he removed the masquerade. He said :"BUT BARRISTER, YOU AND I KNOW THAT THIS THING IS HUNDRED NAIRA. How do we give receipt for 2 thousand "?

I did not bulge. I told him that it was either he gave me the receipt for 2k or I go to the court registrar.

At that point, he went out quietly without a word. I did not know if he went to get the receipt or my money. I looked through the window and saw him outside calling the staff to gather my money. It was then I knew that the loot had already been shared (it was close of work and I was the last customer). They had to send someone to call one of the staff at the gate to bring his part before entering a taxi home.

The oga soon returned to the office with my #2000 and asked for hundred Naira. I gave him #100. They wrote #100 on the affidavit with red ink and gave a receipt reflecting #100. The same receipt they said they didn't have.

I walked out of the court feeling sorry for the country. I mean this is a court of law! A place you would expect to see the strictest adherence to probity. Yet people openly engage in extortion. Government charges #100 for something, but corrupt government workers make it #4000 (I believe I was charged #2000 cos I had mine typed already).

People no longer do subtle corruption in this country. Corruption is the norm. They make you look stupid if you don't join in. Every sector is involved, not just the political class. The civil service stinks.

And someone wants me to believe that Nigeria is not fantastically corrupt. Please keep sharing until it gets to the right people. Nigeria must be saved.



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