₦airaland Forum

CHAPTER SIX

6.0 OTHER MATTERS
6.1 Priority Areas of Implementation
It was agreed to recommend that the following be implemented immediately as priorities:
(a) Setting up of an Implementation Monitoring Committee to monitor the implementation of this Agreement.
(b) Commencement of the processes of amendment of laws in respect of those aspects of the Agreement requiring legislation by relevant agencies and institutions.
(c) Release of funds to meet the obligations of Government as appropriate in this Agreement.

6.2 Machinery for Implementation Monitoring of the Agreement
An Implementation Monitoring Committee shall consist of:

(a) Two members representing the Committee of Pro-Chancellors (CPC), one of whom shall be the Chairman of CPC. The Chairman of CPC shall be the Chairman of the Committee;
(b) The Chairman, Committee of Vice-Chancellors of Federal Universities (CVC),
(c) One member representing the NUC as Secretary;
(d) One member representing the Federal Ministry of Education;
(e) Five members representing ASUU; and
(f) It is recommended that the following be members of the Committee:
• One representative of the Senate Committee on Education
• One representative of the House Committee on Education
• Chairman, Committee of Pro-Chancellors of State Universities
• Chairman, Committee of Vice-Chancellors of State Universities
(g) The Committee shall report to the Honourable Minister of Education

6.3 Effective Date of the Agreement

The effective date of this Agreement shall be 1st July, 2009, except that the effective date for the 70 years retirement age for those academics in the Professorial cadre shall notionally be 1st January, 2009.

6.4`Periodic Review of the Agreement
(a) It was agreed that whenever there is a general increase in public sector salaries and allowances, the remuneration of academic staff shall be correspondingly increased.
(b) A comprehensive review of the Agreement shall be undertaken in accordance with the ILO Convention 98 and within the framework of Medium Term Sector Strategy (MTSS) and Vision 20: 2020, and in this case by 2012, provided that a review of any of the issues covered by the Agreement may, by notice given by either party, be made at any time.


6.5 Review of Procedure for Negotiations
It was agreed that there shall be a review of the Collective Bargaining machinery in the university system, including procedure and substance of negotiations. All the problems and issues that have arisen on the procedure and levels of negotiations will be resolved at such review, and this is to be referred to the Federal Ministry of Labour to undertake.

6.6 Reinstatement of Academic Staff Sacked at the University of Ilorin 49
The Re-negotiation Committee had originally agreed that the matter of the sacked UNILORIN academic staff should be settled out of court, and this agreement was conveyed to the Federal Government.
The Government Team later informed the Negotiation Committee that the Federal Government preferred that the matter before the Supreme Court be concluded. The ASUU Team insisted that an immediate out-of-court settlement was appropriate and preferable, and should continue to be pursued.

IT WAS AGREED THAT NOBODY SHALL BE VICTIMISED IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER FOR HIS/HER ROLE IN THE PROCESS LEADING TO THIS RE-NEGOTIATION AND AGREEMENT.

Signed this ……………... day of …………………….…….. 2009


………..…..….…………………..
Dr. B. O Babalakin SAN, OFR
Chairman, Committee of Pro – Chancellors (CPC)
of the Federal Universities and
Pro-Chancellor, University of Maiduguri

………..…..….…………………..
Professor Ukachukwu Awuzie, fnia
President, ASUU, for and on behalf of the Academic Staff of Union Universities

-------------------------------------
Deacon Gamaliel O. Onosode, OFR
Chairman, FGN/ASUU Re-negotiation Committee and
Pro- Chancellor, University of Lagos

CHAPTER FIVE

5.0 UNIVERSITY AUTONOMY AND ACADEMIC FREEDOM
The Re-negotiation Committee, in pursuance of the goal of revitalization of Nigerian Universities and objectives set out in the various universities’ Enabling Laws and Statutes, and the Universities (Miscellaneous Provisions) (Amendment) Act 1993 as amended by the Universities (Miscellaneous Provisions) (Amendment) Act 2003 and the provisions therein, strongly believes that:
(a) The autonomy of universities and academic freedom should be enhanced and protected;
(b) The protection and enhancement of the autonomy of universities and academic freedom require a greater assumption of responsibilities and commitment from inside the universities themselves, by the university administration strictly adhering to proper operation of the Committee System which is essential for smooth and effective running of the university from the departmental to Council levels. They require avoidance of ad hoc committees in academic matters, which tend to undermine statutory committees. They can be secured by allowing, subject to prescribed Minimum Standards, proper selection or election of Deans, Provosts, Directors, Heads of Department and Members of Committees, promoting self-assurance of students and their participation in the governance of the universities, and by maintaining proper accountability as required by law at all times and, the Government, on its part, should ensure that in dealing with the universities, the powers of the university Governing Councils and Senates are fully respected in view of the fact that one source of friction regarding university autonomy is the role and the force of circulars emanating from Government in the operation of the Universities, which, in some cases, have been observed to conflict with statutory powers of University Councils and Senates and undermine due process and fair procedures in the operation of the Universities.
(c) There is the need for all sides, that is, Government and the Universities, actively to promote and protect university autonomy and academic freedom in accordance with the goals and objectives of the universities and the law. On its part, the Government in its relationship with the universities shall ensure that its circulars do not encroach on the capability of the universities to run according to their enabling laws and statutes. Similarly, Governing Councils, University Senates, Vice- Chancellors, the Departments and the University Committees and Community shall protect and enhance university autonomy by respecting due process, fair procedure, accountability and the law.
AND that in pursuance of these objectives, the following agreement herein contained is reached but its inherent provisions are not to be construed as a manual for running universities.
5.1.1 Membership of Governing Council
It was agreed that, to qualify for membership of a University Governing Council, a person shall be a holder, at the minimum, of a regular university degree (as opposed to an honorary degree); be of proven integrity, knowledgeable in, and familiar with, the affairs and traditions of the university.

5.1.2 Review of Laws that Impede University Autonomy, Academic Freedom, Internal Accountability and Transparency.
It was agreed that all laws that impede University Autonomy, Academic Freedom, Internal Accountability and Transparency, and the speed of internal operations, shall be reviewed.
5.1.3 Sole Administrators for Nigerian Universities
It was agreed that:
(a) There shall be no Sole Administrator in any Nigerian University; and
(b) No acting Principal Officer shall stay in office in that capacity for more than six (6) months.
5.1.4 Pre-Degree / Remedial
In the University System, there is a growing tendency to establish Pre-degree Programmes. Pre-degree Programmes, however, should not be established with the main objective of generating funds. This is the case where a university establishes pre-degree programmes in disciplines which are heavily subscribed, and in many cases oversubscribed in the regular programmes. This practice has had the consequence of lowering the academic standards in the universities as well as harming the country’s drive for man-power in certain needed areas. The Re-negotiation Committee, in view of the potential damage of the practice, affirms the necessity of reversing this trend. University Senates should ensure that Pre-degree programmes, where they exist, should be restricted to the sciences and other hardship disciplines.
5.1.5 Pyramidal Structure of Academic Staff Establishment in Universities
It was agreed that the pyramidal structure should neither be abolished nor used as upper limit for establishment.

5.1.6 Expenditure on Academic Affairs
For the universities to develop through research, in the period of rehabilitation and subsequent consolidation, the expenditure by universities must be redirected to financing, predominantly, academic activities and development, in accordance with NUC guidelines.
Although an NUC guideline exists with respect to the balance in expenditure between academic vis-à-vis non-academic activities, this guideline is generally not followed.
5.2 ISSUES THAT REQUIRE LEGISLATION TO IMPLEMENT


5.2.1. Joint Admission and Matriculation Board (JAMB) ACT 2004
It was agreed to recommend that the Joint Admission and Matriculation Board Act 2004 be amended to:
(i) Provide for better collaboration between JAMB and the Universities in the process of admission of students, in a way more consistent with the autonomy of universities.
(ii) Make the process of admission into universities more consistent with the powers of University Senates as provided for in the Statutes of Universities.
(iii) To confer on universities power to admit students within the nationally recognized guidelines and to determine additional requirements for admission, without prejudice to the power of JAMB to ensure that the national guidelines are followed in the process of admission. (A suggested Amendment Bill is set out in Appendix III).

5.2.2 Amendment of the National Universities Commission Act 2004
It was agreed to recommend that the National Universities Commission Act 2004 should be amended to make its provisions more consistent with university autonomy and powers of Senate on academic matters by deleting certain provisions from the Act. (The suggested text of an Amendment Bill is set out in Appendix IV).
5.2.3 Amendment of the Education (National Minimum Standards and
Establishment of Institutions) Act 2004
(a) It was agreed to recommend that the Education (National Minimum Standards and Establishment of Institutions) Act 2004 be amended to:
(i) Better articulate the coordinating function of the NUC in the accreditation exercise and the establishment of minimum standards;

(ii) Provide for the accreditation of programmes through an effective collaboration of the recognized Academies, Professional and Academic Bodies with the NUC;
(iii) Provide for an appropriate role of University Senate in the accreditation exercise and establishment of minimum standards; and,
(iv) Make the functions of Inspectors inapplicable to Universities and other Tertiary Institutions without prejudice to the exercise by the NUC of its lawful responsibilities.

(The suggested text on an Amendment Bill is set out in Appendix V)

(b) It was noted that proposals for the amendment of this Act were already being processed by the Federal Ministry of Justice. (See Appendix Va)

CHAPTER FOUR

4.0 FUNDING

The Re-negotiation Committee, in order to arrive at the funding provisions stated below, took serious cognizance of the widely acknowledged fact that:
(i) The key to the survival of our country in the 21st Century lies in its ability to produce applied and theoretical knowledge in science, technology and the humanities; and
(ii) The task of revitalizing and accelerating the development of the Nigerian University system to become internationally competitive can no longer be delayed, more so if Nigeria is to become a leading economy in the world within the next ten years or so as desired by the Government.
On the basis of the data collected, and their analysis through a rational and scientific procedure, the following funding requirements were projected for a quick and effective remedy of deficiencies in the programmes and facilities, and for a systematic upgrading of programmes and facilities that would rapidly advance Nigeria’s knowledge production for development. (The justification of the projected figures is provided in Appendix I, “Funding Requirements for Revitalizing the Nigerian University System: 2009 -2011).

4.1 Funding of Universities

It was agreed to recommend that:

(a) All regular Federal Universities shall require the sum of one trillion, five hundred and eighteen billion, three hundred and thirty-one million, five hundred and forty-five thousand, three hundred and four naira (N1,518,331,545,304) only for the period 2009 -2011 as follows:

Year Amount (N)

2009 472,031,575,919
2010 497,531,778,701
2011 548,768,190,681
Total 1, 518, 331, 545, 304

(b) Each State University shall require three million, six hundred and eighty thousand and eighteen Naira (N3,680,018) per student for the period 2009 – 2011 as follows:
Year Amount (N)

2009 1,144,075
2010 1,205,880
2011 1,330,063
Total (approximated) 3,680,000

These amounts include Recurrent and Capital Grants, and are based mainly on the disaggregated returns from the universities.


4.2 SOURCES OF FUNDING

4.2.1 Federal and State Governments
The goal of this negotiation is to put Nigeria in a strong position to become a knowledge-based society that will be able to compete and survive in the 21st Century.
To achieve this, the entire education system requires massive funding at all levels. While non-budgetary sources have a role to play, and there must be continuous efforts to identify and use them prudently, the major source of funding education for national development is through budgetary allocation from State and Federal Governments.
With this in view, the Re-negotiation Committee agreed to recommend to the relevant authorities that:

(a) A minimum of 26% of the annual budget of the State and Federal Governments be allocated to education;
(b) At least 50% of the budgeted 26% shall be allocated to the universities; and,
(c) The representation of the Federal Ministry of Education to the Revenue Mobilisation and Fiscal Commission to put education on the “First Charge” be vigorously pursued.
(d) Being mindful of the processes for meeting this goal of 26% annual budgetary allocation to education as enunciated in the UNESCO benchmark, the Federal Government shall endeavour to progressively increase its budgetary allocation to the education sector in accordance with its vision 20:2020 programme.

4.2.2 Federal Government Assistance to States for Higher Education
It was agreed that the Federal Government should, as appropriate, provide general assistance both to the State Governments that are proprietors of universities and those that do not own universities but need assistance in the area of higher education, in accordance with Section 164(1) of the Nigerian Constitution.


4.2.3 Education Tax Fund
It was agreed to recommend that the Education Tax Fund Act be amended to:
(i) Return the Education Tax Fund to its original conception as Higher Education Fund;

(ii) Make the Education Tax Fund more effective as an intervention to rehabilitate, restore and reposition Tertiary Educational Institutions in Nigeria in order to develop a knowledge-based society in the twenty-first century;

(iii) Make for a better representation on the Board of Trustees of the Education Tax Fund;

(iv) Propose a fair procedure for the disbursement of the fund through the creation of a Team of Experts to assess research proposals submitted to the Board of Trustees;

(v) Provide a better specification of the areas in which the funds shall be disbursed;

(vi) Make appropriate specification of qualities of members of the Board of Trustees in order to reflect the change in the conception of the Fund; and,

(vii) Propose the proportion of disbursement of the funds between the Universities, Polytechnics, and Colleges of Education.(The proposed Bill is in Appendix II)

4.2.4 Petroleum Technology Development Fund (PTDF)
It was agreed that Governing Councils of Universities shall access and effectively utilize funds from PTDF for research, training and development of academic staff. Accordingly, it is recommended that Government should encourage PTDF to assist Universities in this regard.

4.2.5 Transfer of Landed Property
This was an item of agreement in both the 1992 and 2001 FGN/ASUU Agreements. It was, therefore, agreed that the Implementation Monitoring Committee of this Agreement shall pursue its implementation as appropriate.

4.2.6 Patronage of University Services
It was agreed that the Federal and State agencies shall be encouraged to patronize quality university consultancies, without prejudice to the principle of due process.

4.2.7 Funds from Alumni Association
It was agreed that Governing Councils of Universities shall encourage Alumni Associations to contribute funds to Universities through direct funding, endorsements, bequests, etc.
4.2. 8 Private Sector Contributions
It was agreed that Government shall encourage the private sector of the Nigerian economy, Voluntary Agencies and Philanthropic Individuals, through Tax Relief and other means, to make voluntary financial and material contributions to Nigerian Universities. The private sector shall be encouraged to engage in research collaboration with universities and commercialization of research results.

4.3 OTHER SOURCES OF FUNDING

4.3.1 Cost-Saving Measures
It was agreed that each academic department in the Nigerian Universities shall be provided with the minimum set of equipment to enable it to execute its mandate. The collective use of highly specialized equipment of exceedingly high cost through establishment of central laboratories among departments should be encouraged. However, this cannot be a substitute for specialized laboratories in departments. Each University shall arrange its own cost-saving measures.

4.3.2 Duty-Free Importation of Educational Materials by Universities
It was agreed that Universities shall be entitled to duty-free importation of books, laboratory equipment, journals and other teaching and research materials.

4.3.3 Setting up Research Development Units by Companies Operating in Nigeria
It was agreed that Government shall encourage companies registered in Nigeria to intensify their Research and Technical Collaboration with Nigerian Universities within the next ten years, with a view to playing a more significant role in the development of research and relevant technologies in Nigerian Universities.

4.3.4 Three-Year Rolling Plan
It was agreed that Government shall, in respect of University Education, formulate and implement a three-year rolling plan.

4.3.5 Budget Monitoring Committee
It was agreed that, to help in enforcing discipline and ensuring budget performance, each University Governing Council shall set up a Budget Monitoring Committee.

The Committee shall comprise one elected representative each, of Congregation, Senate, ASUU, SSANU, NAAT, NASU and the Students’ Union, with an external member of the Governing Council as Chairman.

It was further agreed that Government and its agencies shall make public all funds released to Universities immediately after the release.

It was also agreed that each University shall:
(i) resuscitate and make operational and transparent the democratic budgetary structures and processes provided for in University laws or that were traditional to Universities;
(ii) utilize funds mainly for (a) effective remedy of deficiencies in programmes and facilities; and (b) systematic upgrading of programmes and facilities; and,
(iii) be guided by the principles enshrined in the Fiscal Responsibility Act, 2007 and the Public Procurement Act 2007 as well as fiscal transparency.

4.3.6 University Post-Doctoral Fellowship
It was agreed to recommend that each University Governing Council should introduce Post-Doctoral Fellowship Leave with Pay outside Nigeria into the University’s Conditions of Service as part of its Staff Development Programme, to be funded as appropriate.

4.3.7 Provision for Teaching and Research Equipment
It was agreed that the provision of up-to-date equipment in each department, to facilitate teaching and research, shall be reflected in the Annual Budget of Universities.

4.3.8 National Research Fund
It was agreed that there shall be a National Research Fund domiciled with ETF, with funds drawn from ETF and other sources and disbursed on a competitive basis.

CHAPTER THREE

3.0 CONDITIONS OF SERVICE
3.1 Salary Structure for Academic Staff in Nigerian Universities
It was agreed that there shall be a separate Salary Structure for University Academic staff to be known as Consolidated University Academic Salary Structure II (CONUASS II), which is shown in Table 1. CONUASS II is made up of the following three components:
(a) The Consolidated Salary Structure for Academic Staff (CONUASS) approved by the Federal Government of Nigeria (FGN) effective 1st January 2007 (FGN Circular SWC/S/04/S.309/1, dated 18th January,
2007).
(b) Consolidated Peculiar University Academic Allowances (CONPUAA), exclusively for university teaching staff and derived from allowances not adequately reflected or not consolidated in CONUASS.
(c) Rent as approved by the FGN effective 1st January 2007 (FGN Circular SWC/S/04/S.309/1, dated 18th January, 2007).

3.1.1 Basis for CONUASS II
In arriving at the salary structure in Table 1, the Re-negotiation Committee noted that Nigerian university academics represent the critical mass of scholars in the society, with the potential for transforming it. They, therefore, deserve unique conditions of service that would motivate them, like the intellectuals in other parts of the world, to attain greater efficiency and effectiveness in service delivery with regard to teaching, research and community service, and thereby stem the brain drain. In line with this philosophy, the Re-negotiation Committee obtained information relating to the movement of Nigerian academics to other African countries such as South Africa, Ghana, Botswana as well as developed countries.
The figures in Table I reflect relevant African average, that is, the average remuneration of academics in selected African countries with which Nigeria potentially or effectively competes for the recruitment of academic staff.

3.1.2 Conditionalities for CONUASS II
The salary table was agreed upon on condition that there must be unqualified commitment on the part of the Principals, in the pursuit of their avowed goals, they would respect the sanctity of the regular university academic calendar and commit themselves to strict adherence to the provisions of prescribed minimum academic standards and to the primacy of dialogue and due process over and above those tactics that undermine and disrupt good order in the conduct of university business.

3.1.3 Taking into cognizance the rationale behind Table 1 as the appropriate Consolidated University Academic Salary Structure and the Federal Government’s current fiscal difficulties, a new table (Table II) shall be used for the implementation of this Agreement. However, future salary reviews shall be based on Table I as a reference point.


3.2 EARNED ACADEMIC ALLOWANCES

It was agreed that entitled academic staff shall be paid the following earned allowances at the rates indicated for undertaking the listed assignments.

(a) Postgraduate Supervision Allowance

(i) Lecturer I N15,000 per student, per annum

(ii) Senior Lecturer N20,000 per student, per annum

(iii) Reader & Professor N25,000 per student, per annum

This allowance shall be paid to the entitled academic staff for a maximum of 5 students per annum.


(b) Teaching Practice/Industrial Supervision/Field Trip Allowances

(i) Assistant Lecturer – Lecturer I N60,000 per annum
(ii) Senior Lecturer N80,000 per annum
(iii) Reader & Professor N100,000 per annum
Where the work involves travelling out of town, the usual mileage and night allowances shall be paid in line with the existing Government regulations. Also, where a staff is involved in more than one of the above activities in a given year, he or she shall be remunerated separately for each activity.

(c) Honoraria for External/Internal Examiner (Postgraduate Thesis)

External
(i) Master’s degree N80,000 per thesis

(ii) Doctorate degree N105,000 per thesis

Internal

(i) Master’s degree N45,000 per thesis

(ii) Doctorate degree N65,000 per thesis

(d) Honoraria for External Moderation of Undergraduate and Postgraduate Examinations

(i) Undergraduate Up to 50 Candidates N60,000 more than 50 candidates N80,000

(ii) Postgraduate Up to 10 Candidates N60,000
more than 10 candidates N80,000

(e) Postgraduate Study Grant

(i) Science based

Master’s degree N350,000 per session
Doctorate degree N500,000 per session


(ii) Non-Science based

Master’s degree N250,000 per session
Doctorate degree N350,000 per session

The above grant is to encourage young academics to obtain higher relevant qualification and remain on the job, provided that they do not exceed the normal years of the approved programmes i.e. Two (2) academic sessions for a Master degree, Four (4) academic sessions for a Doctorate Degree programme.

(f) External Assessment of Readers or Professors
In view of the critical nature of external assessment of candidates for Professorship and Readership positions in developing and sustaining the Universities, it was agreed that external assessors shall be paid a minimum allowance of N200, 000 per assessment for the position of Reader or Professor.

(g) Call Duty/Clinical Duty/Clinic Hazard
It was agreed that Call Duty/Clinical Duty/Clinical Hazard Allowance shall be paid to entitled academics as in the National Salaries, Incomes and Wages Commission (NSIWC) circular reference number SWC/S/04/S.309 of 18th January, 2007 on approved Four Non-regular Allowances in the Public Service, and also as in the National Salaries, Incomes and Wages Commission (NSIWC) circular reference number SWC/S/04/S.309 of 7th March, 2007 on approved Four Non-regular Allowances in the Public Service.

(h) Responsibility Allowance

It was agreed that Responsibility Allowance shall be paid annually as follows:

i. Deputy Vice-Chancellor/Librarian N750,000
ii. Provost/Dean/Director N500,000
iii. Deputy/Vice/Associate Dean or Provost N350,000
iv. Head of Dept./Sub Dean N250,000
v. Fac./Dept Exam Officer N150,000
vi. Hall Warden N150,000
vii. All other Officers N150,000

(j) Excess Workload Allowance

It was agreed that Excess Workload Allowance, which shall be phased out without delay, shall be paid only to entitled academic staff as follows:

i. Professor N3,500 per hour
ii. Reader N3,500 per hour
iii. Senior Lecturer N3,500 per hour
vi. Lecturer I N2,000 per hour
v. Lecturer II N2,000 per hour
vi. Assistant Lecturer N2,000 per hour
vii. Graduate Assistant N2,000 per hour

University administrators shall ensure that only those entitled are paid the allowance.










3.3 NON-SALARY CONDITIONS OF SERVICE

a. Fringe Benefits

The following fringe benefits, which are currently in place and are included in the conditions of service for academic staff in many universities, should be retained and improved upon:
(i) Vehicle Loan/Car Refurbishing Loan
It was agreed that each University shall create a fund for a Vehicle loan/Car Refurbishing Loan scheme. Each academic staff who satisfies the conditions set for the loans by the Governing Council or the University Administration shall be entitled to a Vehicle Loan/Car Refurbishing Loan equivalent to his/her annual basic salary (CONUASS). This loan is repayable over a four (4) year, period with a 2% charge as administrative cost, subject to review by Council. Similarly, a Car Refurbishing Loan of N500,000.00 shall be provided to those academic staff who may want to refurbish their old vehicles. This also will attract a 2% charge as administrative cost, subject to review by Council.
(ii) Housing Loan
It was agreed that each University shall procure the establishment of a Housing Loan Fund. A loan equivalent to, at least, eight ( times of his/her annual salary (CONUASS), shall be granted to each academic staff who meets the conditions for the granting of the loan. The loan shall be repayable within a period and at an interest rate to be determined by the Governing Council of each University.
(iii) Research Leave
It was agreed that each academic staff shall be entitled to an academic research leave of twenty-six (26) working days per annum to enable him or her to take advantage of research facilities or opportunities that are not available locally or are available for a short period only.


(iv) Sabbatical Leave
It was agreed that the practice whereby each academic staff shall be entitled to a sabbatical leave after six (6) years of continuous service, should continue. For an academic staff going abroad on Sabbatical Leave, the University shall pay the transport expenses of a spouse and four children in consonance with the existing practice.
(v) Annual leave
Each academic staff shall be entitled to an annual vacation leave as is applicable in the public service.
(vi) Sick leave
Each academic staff who is qualified should be entitled to a maximum of six (6) weeks per year of sick leave if not hospitalised; if hospitalized, he or she shall be entitled to a sick leave of (6) six calendar months with full pay in the first instance, subject to an extension of another six months. Thereafter, a Medical Board shall determine if he/she shall be allowed further sick leave or invalidated from service (as in the May 29, 1999 Agreement)
(vii) Maternity Leave
Each female academic staff who is qualified shall be entitled to maternity leave (as in the May 29, 1999 Agreement).
(viii) Injury Pension
Each University shall be required to take Group Insurance Cover (as in the May 29, 1999 Agreement).
(ix) Staff Schools
(a) The University shall bear the full capital and recurrent costs of University Staff Primary Schools (as in the May, 29, 1999 Agreement).
(b) The University shall (without recourse to Government) bear the full Capital Cost of University Secondary Schools while parents bear the full Recurrent Cost (as in the May, 29, 1999 Agreement).

(x). Provision of Office Accommodation and Facilities
The individual University Governing Councils shall ensure the provision of a pool of vehicles, office and laboratory Accommodation/Facilities, improvement of communication facilities, and provision of computer facilities for Departments and individual Staff.

3.4 PENSION FOR UNIVERSITY ACADEMIC STAFF AND COMPULSORY RETIREMENT AGE

It was agreed that Decree 11 of 1993 and the Pension Reform Act (2004) should be amended to:

(a) Increase the retirement age of academics from 65 years to 70 years for those in the Professorial cadre.
(b) Remove certain ambiguities from the provisions that allowed Professors to retire with full benefits, by reformulating these provisions (Pension Reform Act, 2004), as follows:

An academic staff who retires as a Professor in a recognized University shall be entitled to pension at a rate equivalent to his annual salary provided that:

(i) The Professor has served continuously in a recognized University up to the retirement age;

(ii) Notwithstanding (i) above, where the Professor has not served up to the retirement age, he shall be entitled to the rate of pension above provided that he or she has served a minimum of 15 years as a Professor in a recognized University; and,

(iii) Where an academic joins a Nigerian University as a Professor, such a Professor must have served continuously for a least 15 years in a recognized University; and,

(iv) For the purposes of (i) and (iii) above, continuous service shall include periods of approved National or University assignments.









3.5 FORMATION OF THE NIGERIAN UNIVERSITY PENSION FUND
ADMINISTRATOR

For the purposes of managing the Pension funds of university staff, the Re-negotiation Committee recommends to the appropriate university authorities, individually or collectively to:
(a) Establish a National University Pension Management Company (NUPENCO);
(b) Establish a Pension Board of Trustees for each University, created by its Governing Council, with representation from University Management, the Senate , and the University Academic Staff Union and other staff unions; and,
(c) Contract, from time to time through University Governing Councils, a group of university specific pension fund investment consultants for the purpose of advising the individual universities and NUPENCO on the most profitable investment of their Pension funds.

3.6. NATIONAL HEALTH INSURANCE SCHEME (NHIS)
It was agreed that:

(a) The University Health Centres which qualify as Primary Health Care Providers shall be recognized as such, and NHIS Contributions of University staff registered with them shall be directly remitted to the University Health Centres. University Governing Councils shall ensure that their health centres are upgraded to meet the stipulated requirements for registration set by NHIS.
(b) University staff, their spouses and not more than four children (under the age of 18) for each family shall be entitled to health care delivery as provided in their conditions of service.

CHAPTER TWO

2.0 MODUS OPERANDI AND BENCHMARK

2.1 MANDATE
The two Teams (FGN and ASUU) affirmed that they had the MANDATE of their respective PRINCIPALS to Re-negotiate, as in 2.2.

2.2 ISSUES FOR RE-NEGOTIATION
Both Teams agreed that the following issues will form the agenda and focus for the Re-Negotiation:
(a) Conditions of Service
(b) Funding
(c) University Autonomy and Academic Freedom
(d) Other Matters.

2.3 PRINCIPLES FOR THE RE-NEGOTIATION
The Teams agreed to adopt the following as principles for the re-negotiation exercise:

(a) Adjournments to allow consultation with, and briefing of, principals before signing the final document;

(b) Establishment of an implementation monitoring mechanism that would ensure implementation of the Agreement reached;

(c) Informal contacts during the process in order to facilitate the re-negotiation; and

(d) Facilitation of the recording of the proceedings of the re-negotiation and the
production of minutes through a joint Secretariat comprising nominees from both teams.

2.4 PROCESS ADOPTED FOR THE RE-NEGOTIATION
The Committee, in the course of the re-negotiation exercise:
(a) Held meetings, made consultations with stakeholders and visited universities;
(b)Received a position paper from the ASUU Team (Annexure 1) cataloguing its demands and a position paper from the FGN Team (Annexure 2) in response to the Union’s demands.
(c) Set up the following Sub-Committees:
i. Sub-Committee on Data Collection from the Universities;
ii. Sub-Committee on Pension and Retirement Age of Academic Staff;
iii. Sub-Committee on Earned Academic Allowances; and
iv. Technical Sub-Committee on Development of Salary Structure.
(d) Utilised various documentary submissions from the Universities and relevant
Government Agencies;
(e) Received presentations from members on their positions relating to statistical data, general principles and the history of the Nigerian Universities;
(f) Made reference to existing reports from previous Commissions on Higher Education as well as previous Agreements between Government and Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU);
(g) Recorded proceedings of the negotiations and the production of minutes, through a Joint Secretariat; and,
(h) Reached consensus that each Team would first make consultations with and brief its principals before signing any agreement resulting from the re-negotiation exercise.

2.5 BENCHMARK FOR THE UNIVERSITY SYSTEM
Whereas the Agreement is directed towards ensuring that there is a viable university system with one, rather than a multiple set of academic standards; and whereas it is recognized by the Negotiating Teams that education is on the Concurrent List and by this Agreement, the Federal Government does not intend to and shall not compel the State Governments to implement the provisions of the Agreement in respect of their Universities, it is however recognized that the State Governments shall be encouraged to adopt this Agreement, as benchmarks, if they are to operate within the goals of achieving the same sets of academic standards for their institutions within Nigeria’s University system.

IMHO you cant really fully know anybody until you are well married. This is because Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse John 2:10
This means during courtship you give each other 'good wine' (for example, whoever farts in front of someone you are trying to hook?) But later when we are all 'drunk' (in love) that which is worse is set forth.

Omo...fear The Holy Bible...all the answers are there if only you look carefully.

Hi guys, I intend to publish here the full details of the agreement that is causing all this wahala. Recall that the 2009 agreement was a renegotiation of a previous agreement made in 2001. ASUU is adamant on implementing the 2009 agreement and not giving a listening ear to FG who wants a renegotiation, because as they say 'once bitten twice shy'.

So pull up a chair, get a bag of popcorn cos this will take a while.

I intend to post it in bits (2pages at a time)...let the arguments simmer for a while before uploading the next bit. The whole document is like 50pages long in MS word. DONT ASK ME HOW I GOT IT!!!
So here goes the first 2pages.




AGREEMENT



BETWEEN



THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF NIGERIA (FGN)




AND



THE ACADEMIC STAFF UNION OF UNIVERSITIES (ASUU)




OCTOBER, 2009






CHAPTER ONE

1.0 PREAMBLE

1.1 Establishment of the Federal Government of Nigeria (FGN)/Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) Re-Negotiation Committee

On Thursday, 14th December, 2006, the then Honourable Minister of Education, Dr. (Mrs.) Obiageli Ezekwesili, on behalf of the Federal Government of Nigeria (FGN), inaugurated the FGN/ASUU Re-negotiation Committee comprising the FGN Re-negotiation Team led by the then Pro-Chancellor, University of Ibadan, Deacon Gamaliel O. Onosode, OFR, and the ASUU Re-negotiation Team led by the then President of ASUU, Dr. Abdullahi Sule-Kano.

The Committee met immediately after its inauguration for its first business session during which both Teams re-affirmed the need to address the identified rot in the University System, as evidenced in dilapidated infrastructure and poor conditions of service for all categories of staff. At the meeting, the ASUU Team submitted a position paper titled “Proposals for the Re-negotiation of the 2001 Agreement between the Federal Government of Nigeria/Governments of State that own Universities and the Academic Staff Union of Universities” which reflected the views of ASUU on various issues in the 2001 FGN/ASUU Agreement.

On Tuesday, 23rd January, 2007, the Federal Government/ASUU Re-negotiations began at the National Universities Commission (NUC), Abuja. At the meeting, the Government Team presented a position paper titled “Government Negotiating Team Position Paper for 2006 Negotiation with Academic Staff of Nigerian Universities”, which was a response to ASUU demands. The Re-negotiation was suspended as a result of ASUU’s withdrawal on 11th January, 2008 in connection with its stand on the Ilorin 49 issue and did not resume until 25th August, 2008.

1.2 TERMS OF REFERENCE
The single Term of Reference of the Committee was to re-negotiate the 2001 FGN/ASUU Agreement and enter into a workable Agreement. In the course of discussion, the Committee agreed that the essence of the Re-negotiation was:

(i) To reverse the decay in the University System, in order to reposition it for greater responsibilities in national development;

(ii) To reverse the brain drain, not only by enhancing the remuneration of academic staff, but also by disengaging them from the encumbrances of a unified civil service wage structure;

(iii) To restore Nigerian Universities, through immediate, massive and sustained financial intervention; and,

(iv) To ensure genuine university autonomy and academic freedom.

1.3 COMPOSITION OF THE FGN/ASUU RE-NEGOTIATION COMMITTEE
The FGN/ASUU Re-negotiation Committee comprised the following Members, Advisers, Observers and the Joint Secretariat:

1.3.1 GOVERNMENT RE-NEGOTIATION TEAM
(a) Deacon Gamaliel O. Onosode, OFR Immediate Past Pro-Chancellor, University of Ibadan. Team Leader &Chairman, Re-Negotiation Committee



(b) Prof. Musa Abdullahi Secretary GeneralCVC & Immediate Past Pro-Chancellor, University of Jos. Member (Deceased30th October, 2008)




(c ) Prof. Greg Iwu, OON Immediate Past Pro-Chancellor, NnamdiAzikiwe University, Awka. Member


(d) Rev. Father T. E. Uwaifo Immediate Past Pro-Chancellor,Ambrose Alli University Ekpoma. Member



(e) Barrister Emeka Nwankpa Former Pro-Chancellor,Abia State University,Uturu. Member



(f) Amb. Muh. Adamu Jumba Immediate Past Pro-Chancellor, Bayero University, Kano. Member



(g) Prof. Mahmood Yakubu Executive Secretary, ETF , Abuja. Member

(h) Senator Abdalla Wali Former Pro-Chancellor, University of Technology,Yola . Member (until 23rd February, 2008)




1.3.2 ASUU RE-NEGOTIATION TEAM
(a) Dr. Abdullahi Sule-Kano Immediate Past President Team Leader (until May 2008)
(b) Prof. Ukachukwu Awuzie President Team Leader(from June, 2008)

( c) Dr. Oladipo Fashina Member
(d) Dr. Peter Ozo-Eson Member
(e) Dr. Ogban Ogban-Iyam Member
(f) Prof. Eskor Toyo Member
(g) Prof. Chukuka Okonjo Member
(h) Prof. Omotoye Olorode Member
(i) Dr. (Mrs) Nnenna N. Oti Member
(j) Prof. Olatunde Oduleye Member
(k) Dr. Biodun Onilude Member
(l) Prof. Idowu Awopetu Member
(m) Dr. Olugbenga Ogunbote Member
(n) Dr. Ralph Ofukwu Member
(o) Prof. Emmanuel Egia Okoegwale Member
(p) Prof. C. O. Orubu Member
(q) Dr. Nasir F. Isa Member
( r) Dr. Suleiman D. Abdul Member
(s) Dr. Festus Iyayi Member
(t) Prof. Abdul-Ganiyu Garba Member
(u) Prof. Assisi Asobie Member
(v) Dr. Rabiu Sani Shatsari Member
(w) Prof. Stephen E. Onah Member
(x) Prof. Godwin N. Nsofor Member*
(y) Barr. I.N.E. Worugji Member*
(z) Dr. (Mrs) Regina Ode Member*
(za) Mr. Sikiru Eniola Member*
(zb) Dr. Abu Mallam Member*
(* Joined in June, 2008)

1.3.3 ADVISERS

(a) Prof. Julius A. Okojie Executive Secretary, National Universities Commission, Abuja.

(b) Prof. Oye Ibidapo-Obe Former Chairman, Committee ofVice-Chancellors (CVC)


(c) Prof. J. D. Amin Immediate Past Chairman, Committee ofVice-Chancellors (CVC),Abuja.




(f) Prof. E. A. C. Nwanze Chairman Committee of Vice Chancellors & Vice-Chancellor, University of Benin, Benin City.
( d) Prof. Chinedu Nebo Vice-Chancellor, University of Nigeria, Nsukka.

(e) Prof. Ekanem I. Braide Vice-Chancellor, Cross River University of Technology, Calabar.

(g) Prof. S. U. Abdullahi Vice-Chancellor, Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria.

(h) Prof. Abdullahi Mahadi Vice-Chancellor, Gombe State University, Gombe.

(i) Prof. Peter Adeniyi Former Vice Chancellor, Federal University of Technology, Akure.


(j) Chief (Mrs.) Mojisola Ladipo, mni Former Registrar, University of Ibadan, Ibadan.

(k) Mr. M.B. Modibbo Registrar, University of Abuja, Abuja.


1.3.4 OBSERVERS
(a) Mrs. V. A. Eghobamien Representative of Federal Ministry of Labour,Abuja.



(b) Mr. S. A. Ajibola Representative of FederalMinistry of Labour, Abuja.



(c) Prof. Ignatius I. Uvah Deputy Executive Secretary
(University Education), NUC
Abuja.

(d) Mr. P. I. Ekun Representative of Special
Services Office, The Presidency
Abuja.

(e) Mrs. E. Ori Okojokwu Representative of Federal Ministryof Education, Abuja.


(f) Mr. Chike Ogbechie National Salaries, Incomes &Wages Commission, Abuja.

(g) Mr. A. C. Adighiogu National Salaries, Incomes &Wages Commission, Abuja.
(h) Mr. P. E. Oyong Federal Ministry of Justice, Abuja.

(i) Mr. A. Ibrahim Federal Ministry of Justice, Abuja.

(j) Mr. I. O. Malaolu Office of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation,Abuja.


(k) Mr. G. T. Ogbenna Federal Ministry of Finance, Abuja.

(l) Mrs. Cynthia I. J. Okigbo Budget Office of the FederationFederal Ministry of Finance, Abuja.



1.3.5 JOINT SECRETARIAT
(a) Dr. M. K. Aliyu Representative of ASUU
(b) Dr. M. B. Kuna Representative of ASUU
(c) Mr. G. I. N. Emezue Representative of ASUU
(d) Dr. Isa Mohammed Representative Of ASUU
(e) Mrs. Ann E. Aiyedun Representative of Federal Ministry of Education, Abuja.

(f) Mrs. Q. U. Elebor Representative of Federal Ministry of Education, Abuja. (Retired, 25th August, 2008)

(g) Mr. B. C. Odum National Universities Commission, Abuja.

(h) Mrs. C. N. Goddy-Nnadi National Universities Commission, Abuja

They forgot to cover the BBM angle which I understand is also used for networking and meeting new clients...but God pass dem!

A Saudi bound Kabo Air plane carrying 400 passengers from Kano made an emergency landing at the Sir Abubakar III International Airport in Sokoto early today Saturday October 5th.

The Boeing 747 jumbo jet which left Kano on Friday en route to Saudi Arabia had to divert to Sokoto after several of its tyres exploded immediately after it took off the Aminu Kano International Airport in Kano. All the passengers aboard the airline have been evacuated from the plane and lodged in a hotel in the ancient city. (Sahara Reporters)

http://saharareporters.com/news-page/saudi-bound-jet-makes-emergency-landing-sokoto-tyres-explode-mid-air

The truth I'm trying to bring out is that we have a very long way to go. A lot of infrastructure is being put in place in many universities but the pace has to be maintained and reviewed regularly, without fail which is what ASUU is fighting for (400billion p.a. for infrastructure and equipment) and reviews (upward hopefully) after every 3/4 years. In my school, HOD's have to borrow money to run labs (chemistry) because the money is not released at the beginning of term to start work sometimes the first semesters' monies don't come in till midway into the second...meanwhile the lab fees have been paid by the students. Monies for capital projects come latest end of 1st quarter but projects are not executed till end of the year because they(management) have to retire the monies or face a reduction in next years allocation...so they fix the monies in banks and it 'lays eggs' for them till end of year and then hurriedly award one contract or the other to use up the monies after FG has reminded them that they haven't retired the monies in preparation for next years budget.
On the one that concerns their pockets (lecturers) their is an ideal student:teacher ratio (25:1 I think for social sciences and 20:1 for sciences)that should not be exceeded. Teaching excess students(2 - 3.5k per hour), manning exam office(150k p.a.), PG supervision(15-25k per student), External examiner(80k Masters 100PhD), responsibility allowance (Registrar 750k, Bursar 750k, Director 500k/p.a
) study grants (MSc 350k, PhD 500k/p.a. for 2 and 3 years respectively) etc translate to excess workload (earned allowances) which have accrued since 2009 to 97billion as at 2012. So it is actually more than that if you factor in 2013 and will continue cos the Universities will always admit more than they can cater for...
TO BE CONTINUED
By the way the 2009 agreement was a renegotiation of a previous agreement in 2001

Pictures are refusing to upload...don't know why...but please follow the link and see for yourself

still more pics

more pics

The ongoing ASUU strike is just one sign, amongst many others, of the cracks in the educational system of Nigeria.

It has come to light that the system is a mess judging from the prolonged strike, the quality of our teachers, and the deplorable state of government owned schools in the country; from primary to tertiary institutions.

Little wonder no Nigerian university is listed among the best schools in the world. Below are pictures from some schools of higher learning in Nigeria.

We would let you be the judge as to the deplorable state of these schools.
Share your take on the pictures above...

SOURCE: http://news.naij.com/48861.html?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=share-button&utm_campaign=facebook

I like the confidence with which you ladies are speaking. But I know if I was a girl and I encountered such...all hell will break lose except I collapse and lose consciousness first...in which case all hell will break lose when I regain myself.

Kanwulia: Will just hiss in pity of her illiteracy!
My husband knows I am not that romantic!
He knows I prefer CA$$$$H to stoopid surprises!

As for the 'making-love' factor, after phocking her azzzze dry, she go carry her wide toto go back to village abi? Who loses?

Sha-Sha, before I open my eyes SHE MUST CLEAN THE HOUSE, together with her "LOVER-BOY"!

I nor send!!!

Babe, you get temper o.

O boy you go fear size na...did you guys notice the way the new born in the second picture is looking at the big guy yawning or bawling or whatever it is he is doing with his mouth wide open?! There is awe written allover his face. He'll be like "wetin be this?!"

kulyie: nice story and write up,very funny too,however assuming this fiction was not a fiction,as in it was real and i was the so called maam,i will just smile to myself,ask her to give me a glass of cold water first to step down and cool my body so i will control myself from descending on her,ill understand she doesnt know what shes talking about because if she did,she wont tell me to my face,after oga comes,ill sk her to repeat herself in the presence of oga so that oga can explain what she means before taking action,but before oga comes,i will lie down on the couch and watch movies

Madam, are you sure you can be this calm? Devil sabi play with person imagination o (introducing various scenarios and the like)...I mean while waiting for oga to come home(for like 4hrs or more). Omo, you go fear hypertension na...lol

As a newly married couple whonbrought a female house help from the village to assist in keeping your home tidy so you guys would have time for your careers and other more important things. One day, oga decided to give you a surprise package. He molded a big heart(to represent love) with the assistance of the house help, a project which took almost the whole day. You came back and met the house a right mess and the help sleeping and snoring:

MADAM: Will you get up now! Stupid girl! What have you been doing since morning?
HOUSE HELP: Madam welcome. No vex abeg. Me and Oga dey make love since morning. Na just now now we finish e say make I lie down small.
Tell me what's your next line of action

FOUND IT!!!
http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/saturday-magazine/travel-a-tourism/132702-not-all-that-fails-to-glitter-is-bad-my-impressions-about-Nigeria

topic should actually read: Not All That Fails To Glitter Is Bad: ‘My Impressions About Nigeria’

and

Nigeria in the eyes of a Briton

http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/09/nigeria-in-the-eyes-of-a-briton/

A British journalist, David Hayward, who visited Nigeria, captures his impressions about the country.

Earlier this year, I was approached to do some media consultancy in Nigeria. I’d just left the BBC after 18 years, to set up my own business, so this seemed a great opportunity. I spoke to a number of friends and former colleagues. I’d heard many stories about Nigeria, seen the reports on Boko Haram and had my own impressions of sub Saharan Africa.

The advice fell into two camps:
a) Don’t go, you’ll get kidnapped or catch malaria. Either way, you’re going to die

b) Nigeria is a nightmare. When you arrive, you’ll be swamped by hustlers trying to rip you off, steal your luggage and all your money. If they don’t get you, the corrupt police officers and officials will.

I was mainly to be based in Asaba, the capital of the Delta State, one of, if not the biggest, oil producing states is Nigeria. In an attempt to be a bit more thorough with my research than asking a few old mates, I contacted the office of BBC Media Action in Abuja.

The fairly pragmatic response was : “We treat the Delta State as a hostile environment. It’s an oil producing area and there is a strong risk of kidnapping. However if you have armed security, this risk will be slightly reduced”. I took this to be reassuring and made sure an armed security clause was written into my contract. I spent some time talking to my wife Jo and children about the prospect of going to Nigeria.


Jo’s attitude was : “For God’s sake, this is exactly what you love doing. The more dangerous a place the better the stories. You’ll be able to show off and bore people senseless about roadblocks, men with guns and how brave you are”. Buoyed by this I accepted the work and prepared for Asaba. I got my visa, all the vaccinations I could fit into my arm and made sure I had a small mountain of malaria tablets.

I really didn’t know what to expect from Nigeria. It’s easy to fall into preconceptions that Africa is all about war, famine, corruption and poachers killing endangered animals.

I caught the overnight BA (British Airways) flight from Heathrow to Abuja, arriving first thing on Sunday morning. The flight was made slightly more interesting by the chap next to me hissing at the flight attendant to attract her attention. This did not go down very well.

I was later to discover this is common practice in Nigeria and not considered rude in the least.

Not sure the flight attendant saw it this way!

So, the first challenge and opportunity for anecdotes was here. Running the gauntlet through the hordes of hustlers outside the airport, once I had collected my luggage and passed through security.

Interestingly, this is the first airport I have been to in the world where they check your bags belong to you by making sure your baggage labels match your ticket. I had always thought it would be very easy to simply walk off with the nicest looking suitcase on the carousel. Not here!

Imagine my disappointment when I was almost completely ignored and simply met Yinka, the guy I would be working with. We walked, unthreatened, straight to his car.

We drove through newly completed roads, past new buildings and billboards advertising numerous western goods and luxury items. This is not the Africa I was expecting.

We checked into the hotel, logged onto wifi, I emailed home and uploaded a couple of pictures to facebook, still waiting for this hardship and danger to kick in. Maybe when we go out into town this afternoon, I will see a bit of the real Nigeria.

We certainly didn’t come across it at the couple of bars we went to that evening. I think it will take some time to get used to the isi-ewu (goat’s head pepper soup) and the chilled red wine. But the Star beer is very much to my taste.

The next day, we flew down to Asaba. Again, there was no problem at the airport; it was quite the opposite.

I was struck by the way the airline, Arik, made sure with every passenger that his or her bag was on the flight. I wish this had been the case when I went to Moscow last year and had to spend the first three days in the same clothes, because the airline had lost my luggage somewhere between Heathrow and Domodedovo.

The airport at Asaba is something to behold. It is brand new; everything was gleaming and had that just unwrapped feel. It was relaxed outside too.

The driver picked us up, no hustlers grabbing our bags. This is really not the Nigeria I was expecting.

The runway is being extended to take international flights. Within the next six months, Emirates will be flying in. Warehouses are being built around the site to cater for a mass of cargo.
About ten minutes drive away, just across the Niger Bridge, is the city of Onitsha. One of the busiest markets in Africa. You can buy almost anything there.

I was to travel in and out of the airport several times in the next five weeks. Each time something new was completed. The baggage carousel, lacking when we first flew in, was fully operational the next time. So were the check-in areas and the very plush departures hall.

The next morning was the first venture out. Yinka and I decided to go for a bit of a run. It seemed sensible to set off early because of the heat and to avoid the risk of being kidnapped or shot at. So at 6am we were off. About a minute into the jog we approached a group of somewhat hard looking men with very big guns. They were guarding the gates to our compound. This is not a sight I’m used to on my normal runs in rural Leicestershire, in the UK.

Anxious to appear as inconspicuous as possible I tried to sneak past, not drawing too much attention to myself, convinced I was about to be arrested. However quite the opposite. We were greeted with cheers of “Good morning sir, well done, how far?”.

Once I had composed myself from the shock, very nearly tripping over in a sweaty heap, we continued our circuits. Every time we passed someone we had the same greeting. It began to feel as though we had our own troupe of heavily armed cheerleaders. (Or should that be troop?)

This was quite an introduction to what, I began to realize, was one of the most friendly countries I have been to. This is a genuine friendliness. It is not a means to get to know you and rip you off.

The following few weeks continued to surprise me – and to make me feel very embarrassed about my initial preconceptions. I’ve been lucky enough to visit a whole range of places in the Delta State. The TV and radio stations need some work, but the staff are young, enthusiastic and very hard working. Warri, the oil centre, is a thriving hub that is only going to get bigger, with the construction of the largest business park in West Africa. The sign at our hotel was a bit disconcerting. It asked everyone carrying guns to make sure they weren’t loaded – which was nice.

The University Teaching Hospital in Oghara is as well equipped as any I have been to in the UK or the rest of Europe. There are state of the art CT and MRI scanners, a world class renal unit and 25 paediatric intensive care beds.

The journey to the hospital gave me the first opportunity to see a proper Nigerian village. This was far closer to what I had been expecting. The goats and cattle roaming the dusty roads, the food stalls cooking chicken, fish and corn over open fires. Dozens of bars with dodgy looking satellites, advertising the latest football matches live. When we slowed down, or stopped the car we were surrounded by two groups. The children pointing at me were shouting Oyibo, Oyibo (white man) and teenagers trying to sell anything from palm wine to cola nuts, to the latest mobile phones.

Now I can’t be sure, but I don’t think the iphone 5 I was offered for 5000 naira (about £20) was as genuine as it could be. All of this was done with great fun and humour. If you chose to, you could buy everything you needed from your car. If you didn’t, that was fine too.

Suicidal Okada
The transport system is far from perfect but all the roads we’ve driven on are absolutely fine. The most interesting experience was seeing the suicidal Okada motorcycle taxis in full force for the first time.

They have been banned in Delta State and replaced by three-wheel kekes. But this is certainly not the case in Onitsha. It is about a fifteen-minute journey from the centre of Asaba, but it could be on another planet.

You drive over the Niger Bridge, enter the neighbouring state and a different world. One where thousands of the small machines ferry people and any goods you can think of around. We saw one driver with four passengers, two adults and two children precariously balanced in front and behind him.

Oil barrels containing God knows what, weighing heavily on the clearly inadequate suspension. I was told someone had seen an Okada carrying a donkey, strapped to the driver as though he was giving it a piggy back. I don’t know if I believe this, but, from what I saw in Onitsha that day, I can’t rule it out.

The drivers are quite mad. We were there for about a minute before our car had its first near miss. We were to have many more in the next half an hour, with the rules of the road, like driving in the same direction on a dual carriageway, simply ignored.

The noise is deafening. As the Okadas rev their tiny engines, they sound like a swarm of very loud insects buzzing inside your head. You very soon begin to choke on the fumes of burning oil and petrol.

It was quite a relief to cross back over the bridge into the far more serene and calm home ground of Asaba. The welcome I have had everywhere is stunning. On one occasion I interviewed a senior state commissioner. It turned out it was his birthday. He kindly invited me to his party that evening. I didn’t really know anyone else going – so felt a little uncomfortable. No need. When I arrived he insisted I sit with him.

He made sure my glass was never empty and my plate constantly filled. I was introduced to everyone and made to feel an honored guest.

There was a downside to this. The comedian who anchored the programme took quite a shine to me….. “Ahhh give it up for the white man, where are you from”?
This was followed by ten minutes of him royally taking the **** out of me. I understood about one word in ten, but by the reaction of everyone else, it was obviously very amusing. So much for being inconspicuous.

Premier League
But the worst was still to come. People began standing up and paying tribute to the Commissioner. He is a very popular guy. Halfway through the speeches the comedian spotted me once again. “Does the white man want to speak”. I stood, said a few words and wished he would see his children’s children and his children’s children’s children. This appeared to be the toast de jour and went down very well. The evening ended with lots of photographs being taken and many new good friends.

The one thing you cannot escape in Nigeria is the love of the English Premier League. I have so far failed to meet another Leicester City fan, an obvious shame, but there are millions of diehard Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea supporters.

Watching the Liverpool v Man Utd game at the Asaba viewing centre, with thousands of people wearing the respective replica kits, was one hell of an experience, although my eardrums may take some time to recover. There is no doubting their passion. They may not have been to Old Trafford, The Emirates or Stamford Bridge, but the passion they exuded was clear. I’m not sure what ‘come on ref,’ or ‘what was that you idiot’ is in pidgin, but I heard it several times that day.

The viewing centre was created by the governor of Delta State, Dr Emmanuel Uduaghan. He is an Arsenal supporter. I met him once while playing tennis. For some reason he didn’t seem very impressed by my love of Leicester City. I simply don’t understand why

CANT SEEM TO FIND A LEGIT SOURCE...SORRY.

A 43-year-old woman, Omolara Acchoyame, recently dazed her husband before the Igando Customary Court in Lagos State, when she alleged that sex with her husband was torture.

Omolara, who had filed for divorce proceedings against her husband, Solomon Acchoyame, alleged that he exhibited strange behaviours while making love to her.
She alleged that he waited for her to sleep, then without waking her up, just opens her clothes and had sex with her, adding that she never enjoyed this.

Omolara further told the court that her husband had three things which he used during sex for lubrication, listing them as aboniki balm, mentholatum and dusting powder, adding that these things made her hate having sex with him.

She testified that she met her husband 14 years ago and bore him three children, adding that their major quarrel was based on the fact that he didn’t know what he’s doing for a living.

“We fought most times before I left home because I don’t know what he does for a living. He goes to his village three times a week and I don’t know the reason for this since his parents are dead and when he comes back, he would say he does not have any money.

“ I would go to my sister to borrow money for him for his next trip. Yet, he will come back and curse me and my family and he doesn’t come home until midnight.

“My husband does nothing for a living. Please dissolve the marriage so that I can start my life all over again,” she said.

In his defence, the 44 year-old husband stated that when he met his wife at the University College Hospital (UCH) in Ibadan, Oyo State, things were going on well for him and it was with his money that he trained her in the university.

Solomon said that after a while, he started experiencing financial difficulties and he couldn’t complete his education.

“I want to perform my obligations as a father and husband, but I am handicapped,” he said.
The case was adjourned till September 25

THIS CANT POSSIBLY BE TRUE! ABI?

A housewife, Kehinde Oladosu, has told an Osogbo magistrate’s court that she beats her husband, Asimuyu Oladosu, whenever ‘some unknown spirits’ come over her.

Pleading with the court not to dissolve her marriage, Kehinde, on Tuesday, said she still cherishes her marriage of 17 years. Weeping profusely, Kehinde, who admitted beating her husband at will, urged the court to save her marriage, which is blessed with three children.

She said, “What my husband said is true. I always beat him but I do not know what usually come over me whenever I did that. Some unknown spirits push me to do it.

“I still love my husband and I want the matter to be settled amicably. I don’t want to leave him and I promise that I will never beat him again.”

But the husband said, “I am tired of this marriage due to frequent beating by my wife as well as her nagging nature.

“She does not go to church and whenever I go to church or vigil, she will not allow me into the house and if she does, she beats me mercilessly.

“And base on these facts, I want the court to dissolve this union.”

President of the court, Mrs. Temilade Agboola, urged the husband to consider the plea of his wife and forgive her but Asimiyu refused, stressing he wanted divorce.

Agboola said that as the husband insisted on having a divorce, the court has no option but to grant the request.

She subsequently dissolved the marriage and ordered that the wife should take custody of the three children.

Agboola also ordered Oladosu to give N9, 000 monthly for the upkeep of the children.

.

PLEASE IS THIS TRUE?!!!

The Nigerian government is yet to react to the claim.

British luxury products company, Gold and CO, has revealed that it has an order from the Nigerian government to deliver 53 customised gold iphones for the celebration of the next independent celebration.

The founder of Gold and Co, Amjad Ali,, told the UK’s Independent newspaperthat the Nigerian government has made an order of “53 gold iPhones to mark the country’s 53rd year of independence from Britain next month.”

Mr. Ali told the Independent that the order from the Nigerian government “will [be] engraved them with [Nigeria’s] coat of arms, a shield and two horses,”

Mr. Ali’s Gold and Co clients include royal families, governments, and wealthy individuals from across the world.

A gold-plated device costs between £3000 and £50,000 (N750,000 to 12.5 million). The order from the government with its customised coat of arm is believed to be among the constant premium orders the company gets.

The London-based company recently received an order from the Saudi royal family for “a gold iPhone studded with hundreds of diamonds, including a giant piece that served as the device’s ‘home’ button.”

Gold and Co is yet to respond to PREMIUM TIMES enquiry about the Nigerian agency or official that made the order and the exact cost of the order from the government.

When contacted, Joseph Mutah, the spokesman for the Information Minister, Labaran Maku, asked for an SMS enquiry, which was sent.

Mr. Mutah promised to get back to PREMIUM TIMES on the federal government’s position.

One of my several ones was for Department of Petroleum Resources after two rounds of tests. The arrangement was such that you were called into the secretary's office to wait your turn to be slaughtered after which you left the building without speaking to anyone. The doors (interview room, secretary's office and waiting room) were all in line so you could see the faces of the candidates as they came out. omo...see long faces! everyone before me without exception came out looking extremely very sad.
Anyways, it got to my turn and I walked in, the head interviewer (a lady) was rather grouchy. Soon as I stepped in the door she was like "give him your credentials!" "what did you study?" (chemistry) "what class of degree?" (2:1) "which school?" (I answered. By this time I was standing beside the 'hot seat'). Instantly she calmed down. "sit down" (thank you). She pointed to the first guy on the board to her right and he asked "what is a catalyst?" (speeds up a reaction) "is that all?" (remains unchanged at the end - I was shaking in my seat, cos I was rattled by her behavior and was still processing). Next guy asked "if you had to collect sample in the field, how would you go about it?" (I entered some statistics mode, sample size, composite samples or otherwise, confidence interval, type of sample bottles to use etc)...they were not impressed. The lady now helped out by saying what would I use to collect the sample (I said sample bottles and there were several types; glass, plastic, metal depending on the sample)(they obviously did not hear me the first time because I was talking too much) next person "if you're not working on the sample on the site..." I jumped in (you preserve it also depending on the material, you can keep it on ice, or complex it with a reagent that will protect what you are interested in...O boy I was on fire...this obviously excited the lady because she suddenly shouted "my turn, my turn" Then the interview changed to pidgin English "this question wen I wan ask you ehn, I want make you speak big big grammer....etc etc etc. I tried to get feedback from the lady that came out after me...basically the same questions but she said the woman was too harsh asking her "is that all?" after every answer she gave.
After a couple of months a friend that had access to the Minister of Energy said he saw my name on the list of the people to be appointed and the minister has endorsed. Till today as I'm writing this that letter never comot (this was in 2007)...I was quite naïve then and dint know how to make and use connections.
Anyway now I have a PhD and I teach at one the universities in the country...but I for no mind oyel job sha (still looking for one).

elifemi: Cant stop laughing.... Makes me remember the sandalili song,

recently heard its standard living and not sadalili

naijaobi: wot of at night? I mean bed tinz...

you mean bed time tinz...lol