₦airaland Forum

AngelahFlo:
I've shared a post on forgiveness on this forum but I'm being led to share it again with more insight.

I'll start with a question. What is forgiveness or more directly what does it mean to forgive? This is one question that seems easy to answer until you experience it. That's when you're hit with the raw truth. I've heard a lot of people say "I can forgive but I'll never forget." They fail to realize that it's impossible to forgive without forgetting. The two are like a snail and it's shell; where one goes, the other follows. As long as you still keep the hurt in your memory, you've not really forgiven the offender.

To forgive is to blot out of your mind and consciousness every record of wrong incurred by an offender to you and my dear this ain't an easy thing to do.

It's the nature of humans to either wanna get even or wish some calamity on our offender because we feel they deserve to be punished for what they've done to us. When Jesus said we should love our enemies and be nice to them he was in essence referring to the concept of forgiveness.

Some of us have been victims of broken homes, rape, incest, physical and emotional abuse. We see you today looking so polished and successful in your chosen career but beneath your smiles lie a tortured soul clinging to old hurts. You got the success because you wanna prove to that abusive father, mom or uncle that you ain't the useless good for nothing kid they called you. Now you're rich and famous, the abuser is either still alive and well or sick or dead but you still harbour bitterness to them why because despite your success, whatever your wish for them has either not materialize or has but you look at their children and transfer the same hatred to them as well. My dear, no matter how much right you have to pay them back, let them go and forgive.

Forgiveness isn't for the person. It's more for you because when you forgive, you experience a release in your spirit. What just happened is that you just dropped a heavy burden you've been carrying for too long. That moment of release gives you a sense of peace and freedom that is inexplicable.

As I wrap up this post lemme share a personal experience: Years ago I was friends with a lady who was a member of the church I worshipped in at the time. This lady was also friends with another lady in the same church. It so happened that I was kinda close to this girlfriend of mine and made my intentions known to her regarding dating her.
At the time, I wasn't as experienced as I am now in romantic issues. Was still grappling with some inner demons of inferiority but I summoned courage and approached her and she accepted half heartedly while still acting nice in my presence.
One night this girlfriend of mine and her friend decided to set me up for a big embarrassing moment. They came to my house one night to pay me a visit and being a gentleman, I decided to walk them home which wasn't far from my place. That was when her friend made a scene on the main road just a little distance to my friend's house. It was such a scene that stumped me because of its unexpected nature and then they left me by the side of the road, a complete wreck. I got home with questions running in my mind. For a long while, I stayed away from that church. I couldn't bring myself to attend church and see those ladies there.
It took the intervention of my area guys who approached me to enquire why I've been absent all this while in church. I narrated the reason to them and they promised to resolve the issue by confronting them which they did but it still didn't change my mind concerning them. Even when I finally forgave them, the memory of that night was still fresh until after a long while I decided to let go and really forgive them from my heart. It was a huge release to me.

Today I don't know the whereabouts of that girlfriend of mine but her friend became a famous comedienne and MC. She goes by the name "tatafo" and used to anchor "Jara" on DSTV with Uti. Some of you will know her cos she's quite popular.
We became friends again and when I see her doing her thing on TV I just smile and recollect what she did to me years ago with a mixture of nostalgia and mixed feelings which always ended in a smile.

That's what true forgiveness does to you. It doesn't take the memory away as it were but it takes the pain of the memory away and fills your heart with love for them.
I close with this final words.
Rather than praying for your enemies to die by fire as my MFM cronies do. Rather you should do like Jesus and say "Father forgive them for they know what they are doing"
At the core of true forgiveness is love!!!

Christians think that asking themselves to do impossible things makes them like their god. This is a lie you tell youselves. Look at your Bible itself is not a record of wrongs? When your god supposedly made a flood why didn't the god forgive and forget? Let's even come to the supposed human sacrifice Jesus made to appease the god and supply forgiveness for all, did it make your god forget anything? Do you not still believe your god will torture people in hell forever?

Forgiveness does not require you to forget. It requires you to exhibit self control in the light of wrongs done to you. Significant events have a tendency to linger longer in human memory so while it is not enirely impossible to forget (human memory is not permanent like a computer) it is not reasonable to ask someone to voluntarily forget an event of significance. Nor can forgetting be done voluntarily.

DeepSight:
Any look at history could easily convince one that it is normal human behavior.

My argument is not with you - its a philosophical question I struggle with.

That whereas we may have "civilized" ourselves with certain moral notions, at heart and in nature, survival of the fittest remains key and primal instincts rule - in a space where there is no room for quaint and pretty notions of morality - such that killing off an adversary to advance one's own interests just might be nothing bad in the eyes of the universe.

It happens all the time among animals for instance, and no one thinks any morality is thereby offended. Even if we consider man a higher animal, that might only mean he will find higher ways of doing the same thing. For example, kill with greater sophistication.

Animals don't murder, they kill. Murder is a legal term indicating illegal killing. This is not something that applies to animals. Most murders are not done for food or survival, that is not normal. It is normal for a carnivore to kill it's prey to feast on. It is normal for an animal to kill in self defence. It is not normal for an animal to just kill for no reason.

DeepSight:
Does the bold include murder?

I wrote NORMAL human behaviour and you ask about murder. What about murder screams normal to you?

Speaklove:
So are you saying sin is inherent in every human ?

Nope. Sin is religious nonsense layered on top of what is natural and normal in other to make the religious concepts have more impetus. For instance, you need sin to make the Adam and Eve story seem compelling likewise the purported human sacrifice performed by Jesus for salvation. None of those work when you realise some things are just normal human behaviour.

Image123:
This is so unfortunate. This guy is the brother of Lynda Randle and very popular in gospel music. We keep saying it that the lifestyles of these "leaders" lead many away from christianity. When we say they should be careful and exhibit some external christlikeness, they will immediately and harshly accuse us of judging. You will see all types of threats and curses coming from christians when people express dissent or differing opinion about what they do. It is well.
i pray that the body of Christ heals, this is one serious blow to many.

Even the ones that exhibit the so called Christ likeness get involved in nonsense. We are humans, no sky daddy magic will change that.

BTW didn't you claim that anyone who sins is not a Christian one time like that?

Image123:
https://www.billboard.com/music/music-news/michael-tait-sexual-assault-claims-newsboys-response-1235991500/

https://www.instagram.com/p/DKh8DiZScIO/

I was waiting for this shoe to drop. Look, we are all human beings and will make mistakes but claiming you have some magic sky daddy that gives you supernatural power to overcome "sin" is nonsense.

BTW I loved DC Talk back in the day, I even still listen to some tracks. But I have lost the illusion that there is any supernatural power working any magic anywhere.

Image123:
Lolz, protocol won't allow you.

You saying those guys touching it were staged?

[quote author=Morbeta11 post=135648934]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLRp2czPJb4?si=NSjZOC28No95N4AD

Pastor Ibiyeomie Invokes Holy Spirt Into His Church Speaker

Pastor ibiyeomie said if anybody touches his speaker, they’ll fall down. Someone actually touched it and he fell😭🙆🏼‍♂️pic.twitter.com/W6E22AMBBg

— Oyindamola🙄 (@dammiedammie35) June 5, 2025

! Na this kine thing I dey like! I for just run go touch make people eye clear. Alas such silly things don't happen much around me.

Lukgaf:
https://www.academia.edu/122347914/Preserving_Islamic_Integrity_Confronting_Stereotypes_and_Internal_Strife_in_Nollywood

Is the niqab exclusively a religious garment?

OLAADEGBU:
She Lied For Years


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEWsTV5Lb28?si=Qc3zFFK7cTjNJqZP

Tell me 5 lies KJP told.

OLAADEGBU:
Pinochietta...
Gary Varvel June 5, 2025

https://conservativedailynews.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/gv060525dAPR-2048x1511.jpg

Bwahahahahahaha! You have no shame. Can you compare her to Karolyn Levitt, the liar who wears the crucifix to lie and the crucifix kept getting bigger the more lies she told. LoLz.

Even Karolyn shame catch her small after Jon Stewart lashed her, she stopped wearing the crucifix. But you are utterly shameless.

DeepSight:
MAGA Cultists are worse than all the religious fanatics in history.

Well, they haven't started throwing themselves as human molotov cocktails yet so thank Orion for that.

FalseProphet1:
I see Trump trying to frustrate Elon Musk businesses, I see Elon spilling secrets about Trump, I see congress impeaching Trump. I see Trump going to jail.

This I have seen.

I know you are being sarcastic but I can't help but imagine that Elon would be the one to turn MAGA against Trump. A pipe dream, still a nice one anyway.

press9jatv:
there are series of parody accounts on X bearing Elon musk names, infact they are much active.

They were unbanned. It doesn't change the fact that Elon Musk had them banned previously.

press9jatv:
not true

Dude are you living under a rock?

https://time.com/6229960/twitter-bans-accounts-elon-musk-impersonators/

Days after Elon Musk declared that “comedy is now legal on Twitter,” the platform banned several comedians for parody tweets in which they impersonated its new owner.

Among the suspended accounts were comic Kathy Griffin and internet personality Ethan Klein, who both had verified “blue check” accounts.

https://www.cnbc.com/2022/11/07/elon-musk-unlabeled-twitter-parody-accounts-risk-permanent-suspension.html

KEY POINTS
After several celebrity and other high-profile Twitter users changed their accounts’ appearance to mimic the social network’s new owner Elon Musk, he called for a swift crackdown.
Now, Elon Musk says, Twitter will permanently suspend accounts without warning if they engage in impersonation without a clear, parody label.
Previously, Musk argued that no user should face a lifetime suspension, and said that he would reverse the ban and reinstate the account of former President Trump.

Basicend:
Yes, you are correct. No one's fights the govt and win.

Elon will loose a lot on this and yes, he may be deported.
Tax, contracts, company subsidies etc. Trump has too many ways to destroy him.

Check what happened to Jack ma, when he began to talk against the Chinese govt. Today he has lost many of his funds and power.

Good example, especially with the way Trump loves dictators.

Faithful007:
Trump is a con man. He’ll first try to play gentleman and gain sympathy. Unless that doesn’t work.

His playing gentleman did even last a day. LoLz.

DeepSight:
It has never ceased to amaze me how people who themselves are immigrants or married to immigrants could be so rabidly anti-immigration (Trump, Vance, Elon).

Utterly baffling. I wonder how those spouses actually feel as their SO put down people they once were like.

Faithful007:
Elon is going to lose this battle

Although he’s brilliant, Trump is a con man. Trump will not fight him, he will try to use this to gather sympathy.

It seems Trump has said Elon's government contracts will be cancelled. Trump na dirty fighter before, Elon won't know what hit him. Don't be surprised if Elon is deported. He illegally entered the US in the past and Trump can use that against him.

press9jatv:
Elon musk is very intelligent here. Elon musk won't suspend trump on X cos' he supports free speech

Supports free speech indeed. Is that why he banned people making fun of him on X and even changed the rules because they were mocking him?

DeepSight:
That poster has written here before that he/she does not owe his/her parents anything, so one must be suspicious about the sort of relationship he/she has with his/her parents.

That explains quite a bit. Like I said there is an air of pervasive pessimism from their posts and this just might explain why. It's sad.

cococandy:
The smart ones got out early.
They should’ve been divested when he made the Hitler salute. I’m not sorry for them. Maybe they bought the he’s untouchable golden boy propaganda

Like the chair of the board who sold more than 90% of her shares while telling the public to keep buying Tesla shares.

Kobojunkie:
I have been trying to explain from about 4 comments ago that even abusive parents could have well-behaved kids, but you keep conveniently ignoring this fact. 🙄🙄🙄

This is why I don't pay attention much to what most parents say about their kids, because in the end, many are too blind to even reason the true reality of things.

And I dunno why you keep telling me about abusive parents I'm telling you about my own experience, modelling fairness and equity for my kids and seeing them reciprocate but you keep talking about abusive parents. If anyone is blind it might be you by a pervasive pessimism that doesn't let you see beyond your nose.

Kobojunkie:
You keep going on and on about the children's supposed behavior towards you, even after I have explained several times now that it doesn't and shouldn't matter how the kids treat their parents. 🙄🙄

Really? It shouldn't matter if the children are well behaved? LoLz. Na wa o. Nothing Musa no go see for gate.

Kobojunkie:
I keep explaining to you that the behavior of the children towards their parents DOES NOT serve as an indicator as far as how the kids are treated by them. You know this from the fact that there are parents out there whose only biological child treats them like crap no matter how much love they throw the child's way. Yeah, treating someone, especially your child—or your children, for that matter—fairly and equally does not translate to getting the same treatment back.

Tell me since you are now in my house to know how I treat my children. What explains why they treat me with fairness and equity the same way I treat them.

Kindly show where I said you must get the same treatment back.

Kobojunkie:
I keep explaining to you that the behavior of the children towards their parents DOES NOT serve as an indicator as far as how the kids are treated by them. You know this from the fact that there are parents out there whose only biological child treats them like crap no matter how much love they throw the child's way. Yeah, treating someone, especially your child—or your children, for that matter—fairly and equally does not translate to getting the same treatment back.

Tell me since you are now in my house to know how I treat my children. What explains why they treat me with fairness and equity the same way I treat them.

Kobojunkie:
Children are under NO OBLIGATION to deal in fairness or equity towards their parents or abusers. That you treat your children fairly and equally DOES NOT GUARANTEE that they will reciprocate the treatment, and that is OK.

2. I am quite familiar with how well-treated children behave towards their parent-figures, and I know for a fact that there is no template to this behavior as you are so intent on having us believe.

LoLz. "...intent on having us believe." You must be mistaking me for someone who gives a shit about what you believe. You are free to believe anything you like. I am here sharing my experience but you don't get to tell me my experience is invalid.

I never told you my experience is a template so I dunno what you going on about.

Kobojunkie:
1. Not from what I have seen.

➜ Children don't all behave the same way towards their parents. There are abused children who would obediently and respectfully approach their abusers, some going as far as to cling to them, and then there are those who would distance themselves from their parents. So, using their behavior alone does not work.

3. But this discussion is in regards to fairness and equity are meant to be from the parents towards the children, regardless of the children's behavior, though.

You've seen abused children behave with fairness and equity to their abusers?

And I tell you the effect my fairness and equity has on my children. May be you are not familiar with how well treated children behave that is why you think everything is a sign of abuse.

Kobojunkie:
That last statement of yours makes me question the first. The way children treat their parents has little to nothing to do with how the parents treat them. So, the way your children treat you can't really be used as an indicator of your love for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujhn1JdOSB4?si=DszFVFpBb2c--Pgg
We see this a lot in homes across Nigeria, where you are bound to find some of the worst parents on earth have some of the most respectful and dutiful children.

Says who? It is quite a big indicator. Do you think mistreated children behave the same way well treated children do to their parents?

I am not talking about respect and duty. I am talking about fairness and equity. Maybe you've not seen it before but that is the effect it brought out in mine.

Kobojunkie:
It is possible, however, that behavior — the urge to favor a particular biological child more than the others—seems to be mostly unconscious, leading me to believe that only self-aware biological parent units would have the ability to accomplish that. Most biological parents aren't.

I am one of those self aware parents. My kids know I am even handed when it comes to how I interact with them. And I am not just saying it, it reflects in how they treat me in return.

DeepSight:
Reconsider.

Have you tried it before?