₦airaland Forum

Him suppose give dem grass to eat na

White007:
Where is Lai Mohammed to come and blame GEJ for this protocol blunder.

This government is daft beyond believe.

I m telling you. Na only God go save 9ja.

lilprinze:
If he likes he can keep on probing till 2019

...and when His tenure ends, they will surely probe him too. May God help Nigeria.

FlirtyKaren:
Linda Ikeji this year is giving out N10million to ladies between 18-26 years old that have a business idea and need capital to start them. They had a meeting today in Lagos which is still going on and here are pics from the event.

http://www.lailasblog.com/2016/03/see-photos-from-linda-ikejis-n10million.html

God punish poverty!

Make I give N1,5oo for all

There must be this one or two annoying thing they have in common that causes displeasure and irritability...

For me, its their cheap pretence and fake appearance

OkunrinMeta:
Ijebu man! No be only duplex, na mansion.

Ordinary 6.5 million wey my fellow tenant take buy brand new toyota!

Ordinary 6.5 million wey my pastor take buy 1 plot for ikorodu!

Hustle my brother, Hustle!

and wetin u carry d ordinary 6.5 million do?

Omo Guinness Book go look for you. You have made it!

Opinedecandid:
APC said they could.

We are waiting for them to do just that.

u go wait tire

Fabulocity:
Disclaimer: This thread is not to insult anyone, it's just based in the few observations I've made and it doesn't also apply to every Nigerian guy. So take a moment to read before you release your venom(if this write up refers to you).

1) He is broke: The average Nigerian guy is Broke! Yes. It's either he has no job or he has a ridiculously low paying job. As a result of this, when their girlfriends make demands on them, they come on Nairaland to pour their anger and frustration over their inability to meet these demands. They tag them as hungry, money loving, gold digging sluts. And one way to know the jobless ones is that they spend a lot of time online on various social websites and it leaves one wondering when they actually work. The answer simply is, they have no jobs!

2) He is most probably a fůck boy : Most Nigerian dudes are fůck boys. You just meet a guy and you've barely talked for two days and he's already asking for nudes, like, Wth?? Or he's already trying to initiate a sex chat. That's how one of my friends got introduced to a guy online by a mutual friend. They had barely talked for a week and the goat was already asking her for X-rated Skype video Calls! Hian! You see them on social media, sending PMs,sliding into DMs, inboxing on Facebook to different girls hoping to get lucky with one of them. And from a lot of stories I've heard on NL, they want nothing but sex once they meet a hot girl. They strategise and plan all sorts of ways of luring a girl in to their homes on order to have their way with her. Guys, please stop this fůck boy behaviour of yours, don't try to get into a ladies panties without first trying to get into her heart.

3) He is polygamous in nature : "All Nigerian men Cheat! " This was implied proudly by one body builder who impregnated his ex girlfriend whilst still married to his celebrity wife. I can't count the number of times I've come across that statement both online and offline. I don't know if nigerian guys should be given a pat on the back for admitting their 'weakness' and saving lots of girls from heartache and high blood pressure from wondering if their boyfriends are faithful or not as they would already know there's another chick somewhere, or if they should be shot in the head for admitting such foolishness. And it amazes me that they always admit this with a tinge of pride. Well, it's up to you. It seems the spirit of our polygamous forefathers have not left the Nigerian men as they cannot cope with having just one woman in their life. Smh

4) Thinks he is God's gift to women : He thinks you're lucky to have him as there are several other girls that would kill to be in your place , therefore you should be grateful to God almighty for making you find such rare treasure like him . He thinks he is the black adonis fallen from heaven. He thinks you are highly fortunate to have someone like him and most of this time, they ain't worth shįt Girls, please find someone who would appreciate you, not someone that would depreciate your value

5) Poor Personal hygiene: Nigerian guys Stink! I don't know if they think it's manly to walk around looking unkempt and smelling nasty but please, that's an archaic way of thinking as we're in the 21st century. Nothing turns most ladies on more than a well groomed, nice smelling man. Most nigerian dudes have terrible body odour and bad breath. Please please and please deodorant or body spray is not that expensive. For those of you who actually take your bath, you should also think of deodorising as you tend to sweat a lot and bathing will not be enough to mask unwanted odours. You don't have to use expensive perfumes to smell good, no one is asking you to be a metrosexual, just practise simple hygiene and you're good to go. And please, it's not a crime to change your boxers and socks everyday instead of repeating them and creating horrific odours

6) Would most definitely cheat on you: Do I really need to talk about This? Number 3 has explained this.

7) Super inflated ego : All men tend to be egotistical, there's nothing wrong with that but when you have a super inflated ego, there's a problem. Yes, these group of men feel that we ladies should worship the ground they walk on and if that they leave us, that would be the end of our lives. They are very proud, arrogant and they tend to look down on ladies. They would never call you first, they believe you should be the one scrambling for their attention, you dare not argue or disagree with them If not your own had finished. In fact, it remains for you to start calling them 'sir'.

A big, fat liar: How do you know when a Nigerian guy is Lying? The answer is, when his lips are moving! Even the devil is flabbergasted at the way these men lie. They lie about everything and most especially when they are cheating on you. They can also deny for Africa, even when they are caught red handed. You see some very steamy and compromising text messages he sent to another girl and they swear to you it's their sister. Ndi okwu asi

9) Take you for granted: They tend to take their women for granted. They feel the average nigerian woman is a desperate gold digger looking for a man to ensnare into marriage. They don't know that you should be loved, respected, appreciated, treated like a queen that you are.. Instead, they disrespect, violate, abuse and demean their women. It's a pity indeed.

10) Very immature : Finally, they could be so immature! I always shake my head in disgust when I see grown ass men behaving like babies. What would make a grown ass man who has gone through formal education and the four walls of a university do immature things like releasing the nudes of an ex (again, fůck boy syndrome), beat up a woman, ask his babe to return everything he got her while they were dating after they break up. Like Seriously?? Just because they might have a penis and they grow beards doesn't mean they are mature individuals. They are just kids in adult clothing.

In conclusion, I did not do this to offend anyone oh, just for you guys to get a taste of your own medicine when you open your numerous female bashing threads and rain all sorts of profanities on nigerian girls. no one is perfect, even we ladies have our own imperfections.
Note: feel free to insult the Op, get offended, spew profanities,have hypertension because of this post. You're all welcome

1. You must be a lesbian. 2. you must be 40 of age or above and still single. Now you are advising the "sweet sixteen" to loose their chances and end up like you abi? So who do you want them to date? Jamaican Guys I abi.

tonio2wo:
[size=28pt]PROPAGANDER!!!!!!![/size]

Who took the shots??
By the was na only women he dey pick, ashewoo!

u dey mind all dis bunch of idiots.

olly12:
See paintings by a graduate of Yabatech, Oresegun Olumide.
These works are just so real, and can compete favourably with their likes around the world, just a few among many. ‪#‎AfricansRock‬
It has attracted over 20k likes on facebook
Let's give kudos to him
Photo Credit: Angela Uyi Dpa (facebook user).



www.xpressfashionstyles..com

it's beautiful but u can't beat Ilu

If Naija no tire me ba, I lie.

Wisdomkosi:
That's why I decided to acquire a skill before going to the university.

that's what is helping me to keep body n soul 2geda o!

ladyF:
Am I the only one disturbed by the ongoing accidents and deaths recently? Never in the history of this country has it been this rampant. We need to come together as a nation, Christians, Muslims and traditionalists, and pray!!!! It is well!!!

It's [size=15pt]LadyF[/size] again

what did u think Changee is all about? #Deythere

obidevine:
Nigerians are indeed masters at whatever they put their back into. I came across these drawings by a dude named Chijioke Anyacho and the interesting thing is that he uses ball point pens to draw, check some of his work out, they are indeed awesome.

Jesus! See basket mouth nose. If he catch am ehhhh! Dude u re gud.

ademega:
as much as we all hate police men but so many things are not cleared in this story.
1. how did you know they were police men when u said they were in mufti?

2. I have never seen a man that would ask for direction from a police man, not in Nigeria.

3. if you want to ask for direction, you don't do that on motion but either Park or slow down to ask. saying he jumped into the car is funny somehow.

4. are u sure the issue was all about one way or not because with the pix shown their it looked as if it wasn't a one way issue.

5. you refused to tell us what eventually happened and how the issue was resolved or charged to court.

yes we know Nigeria police are irrational most times but at the same time let us find out the truth and it would set us free

ademega submission.

how did he even capture those pictures?

kekakuz:
Love they say is the only feeling you can't explain .
The only journey you take without looking back
The only contract without..... *Finish it yourself "
By the time you are reading this, I should be at the bottom of the sea surrounded by beautiful ladies with fish tail sitting next to my queen. Cry not for me for am happy and found fulfillment. I gave up on humanity already and This is how I got here.

I use to be an upcoming artist talented and full of life. I came from a family where mating for life is a rule and we never cheat on our women. All my life I try to believe in love but could not find someone. Until I attended a talent show where I meet moniker.
Moniker is an average looking girl with a moderate size boobs and hips. We started seeing each other and the relationship went on for like 6months until I realized the past 6months were the worst of my life.
She never call, she doesn't spend time with me and I spent a lot for her up keep. I still choose to be with her and her attitude,
One faithful day, I agreed a date with moniker at the beach front. I just received my first Salary from the club where I sing at night to entertain.
I paid ahead for the space, food. I arrived at the venue 30 min as planned to make everything perfect but moniker did not show up. 2hours later she still is not around. I called but she kept busying my calls and not long,. I saw her post on Facebook saying " having mad fun at the cinema with my love David O. I went mad. I stood up and walked away from the location. as I walked I asked my self what the problem was. Was it my looks or what. As I walked away thinking , I did not realize I was of the walk way and in the road. I wandered off and on the bridge and did not see a coming vehicle. The car ran me over and I fell into the ocean.
It was really dark and the witnesses were few. The few guyz that saw the incident tried to save me, some even jumped into the water but I was gone.
As I sink slowly, my mind conscious but my body was badly broken. I saw my self being carried away by a supernaturally flawless lady. Half human half marmaid., God she is beautiful. She carried me to the Queen. A Palace covered in coral and pebbles. All my life I have never seen anything or place graced with so much clarity peace and serenity.
She gently layed me down in front of yeyee "queen of the coast "
" My queen as I return from my daily mission on earth, I saw this handsome young man drowning. I wanted to ignore him but something told me it's not yet his time. So I brought him here as a gift to please you. "
The Queen replied." Humans are ungrateful. You bring them here give them power and pleasure but they still want to return to humans. Let's leave this one to die. Feed him to the fishes she said"
Then Laila (the mermaid that saved me) cried. "yeyee. Who can stand before you. Who can say no to your will. Who can fight you. No one. Please let's keep this one.
The Queen then replied" Laila you are just a kid without experience. Humans are not trustworthy. They back stab each other kill and hurt. You will share the same faith if you don't give him up"
At this moment, I was beginning to gasp for air, Jerking. Laila swam to me raised my head and gave me air by kissing me. Immediately I regain full consciousness. The Queen shouted "take him out of my Palace. Laila you have defiled Me. From now on, I demote you and you shall never appear in my Palace." still confused and lost Laila grabbed me and we left her Palace and went deep into the coral reefs. As we swam away, tears rolled down her eyes. We soon found an abandoned sunk ship and moved in. I wiped her tears. And pulled her to me . I apologize for all I have caused her. She told me her biggest fear is that I would disappoint her as the Queen has predicted. I promised not to ever disappoint her. I held her closer. Kissed her deep and started to touch her. She was very responsive. I moved my hands around her boobs and worked my way down her belly. She suddenly held my hands.
I asked why and she said " we are not in the mortal realm, so we can't make love as humans do." I was so turned on as the thought of making love to a mermaid is driving me crazy.
I asked how do marmaids make love. She told me it's a legend and she never experienced it but it use to be very sensational before the great plaque killed all the male mermaids and now the only way is for them to disguise as human and come to the mortal world for one night stand. I immediately understood that she was returning from the human realm when she found me drowning.
She said she cannot allow me back to the humans realm because I will disappoint her and the Queen would be right.
I begged her. I knelt down and sang for her. She looked into my eyes with tears filled eyes and asked me to swear by the octopus and great white shark that I will not run away when we get to humans land. And we would return after making love.
I did not think twice. I stated to swear by all manner of sea creatures from the crocodile to the stone fish and turtle. She found it funny that I know the names of those sea creatures. She asked me to name any beach in any country where I would like to make love.
For me I don't really know much because I was just an aspiring artist who had never left the shores of my country.
She told me he favourite is the shores Brazil and in a minute we were already there.
Amazed and dazed I asked how. She told me mermaids do not have identities or country like humans.
It was already past evening and the sun was deep down creating a kind of magical atmosphere.
I looked at her and her legs are separated like a human. She giggled and hugged me. I kissed her real deep and unhooked her bikini. She really was gorgeous. I kissed her on the neck and she let out soft moans. Kissed her all the way to her belly and as I went lower, I started smelling fish(well she is a fish what do you expect) she grabbed me and told me she is ready. She opened her legs and I sank deep into her. The feeling was ecstatic. She let out soft moan that sound like dolphin swirl and later tuner fish sounds. I intensified my thrust and she started shaking like a catfish. I was close to comming. She saw it and rubbed a little sand on my head. My cum went away and it was as if I just started. We went on all night till 5am and It's was time to go back.
I looked around and saw the beauty of human city as light lit up the streets and music played. This is my life and where I belong. I felt reluctant but my promise and oat kept me in check. I followed her back into the water, deep into the reef. I know for sure my days are numbered down here.

abeg connect me with one

Dia Fada!

MeloGist:
The video was posted in this earlier thread here https://www.nairaland.com/2964625/princess-vitarah-sings-nigerian-vagina

Early this week US based Nigerian singer Princess Vitarah dropped a hugely popular video, 'Nigerian Pussy' where the singer was talking about Nigerian babes vagina, saying it's the tightest and cream of the crop.

The Youtube video went viral overnight, amassing views of close to 1 million. Unfortunately the video has been taken down by youtube for violating their policy..

http://www.melogist.com/youtube-has-take-down-princess-vitarahs-viral-video-nigerian-puy/

they make her more popular cuz I jst heard of her for the first time. May you enemy take you to your destination IJN!

.

Make u no go hustle, #deythere dey wait for awoof.

nbright:
This Vivian mumu no b small, where the arrest pictures?

no b her fault. Na d mod girlfwend

emorse:
No snake? This thread might take prayers to get to FP o.

d snake moderator is on leave. Tank God ooo!

Mbkite:
Few days ago a lady opened thread asking Nairalanders who are working "how much they spend on transportation to and fro on daily basis"
In a bid to clearly watch and cut our daily expenditure, I therefore decided to ask nairalanders who are working - "How much do you spend on lunch per day?"
For me, I dey chop 250naira 4 calabar woman wey dey sell 4 road side beside my office, she dey cook like mad...LOL

my own daily expensive early momo, mama Nkechi hot rice with cabbage (N200). Afternoon, madam Ogoja hot semo with draw(300). For evening|Nite, 2bottle of chill Star(400) alongside hot kayan chiki pepper soup for Udeme joint(300) #Deydere

unbranded13:
oh my oracle database

bro are u good on it?

onoja12:
am I missing something, what relates Nigeria to Scottish tradition or is that an indication of the Scottish rights?
The President needs to shake up his cabinet quickly, or whoever organized African men in Scottish cloths should be sacked immediately.

bros d matter tire me ooo!

describe employees
Name Null Type
------------------------------ -------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EMPLOYEE_ID NOT NULL NUMBER(6)
FIRST_NAME VARCHAR2(20)
LAST_NAME NOT NULL VARCHAR2(25)
EMAIL NOT NULL VARCHAR2(25)
PHONE_NUMBER VARCHAR2(20)
HIRE_DATE NOT NULL DATE
JOB_ID NOT NULL VARCHAR2(10)
SALARY NUMBER(8,2)
COMMISSION_PCT NUMBER(2,2)
MANAGER_ID NUMBER(6)
DEPARTMENT_ID NUMBER(4)

11 rows selected

describe employees
Name Null Type
------------------------------ -------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EMPLOYEE_ID NOT NULL NUMBER(6)
FIRST_NAME VARCHAR2(20)
LAST_NAME NOT NULL VARCHAR2(25)
EMAIL NOT NULL VARCHAR2(25)
PHONE_NUMBER VARCHAR2(20)
HIRE_DATE NOT NULL DATE
JOB_ID NOT NULL VARCHAR2(10)
SALARY NUMBER(8,2)
COMMISSION_PCT NUMBER(2,2)
MANAGER_ID NUMBER(6)
DEPARTMENT_ID NUMBER(4)

11 rows selected

herbie27:
am i suppose to be ashamed of God's wonderful work?, am inviting u to worship wit us next sunday!.

ok sir!

herbie27:
it is the biggest church in PH, incase u don't knw

you must be a member.

Omo d mumu get grade ooo